Stardew planner move greenhouse
I'm just fed up with all this (moving back home as a disabled person)
2023.05.28 06:19 NJ-Khoury I'm just fed up with all this (moving back home as a disabled person)
TW is for mentions of abuse and sexual assault, no intense descriptions.
I spent my 20s bouncing around living situations because my mom died without warning right before my High School graduation. We grew up dirt poor and I found out a few years ago that she was months behind on rent too, but the house was owned by my grandparents or else we would have been homeless.
A little over a decade later, I found out that a cousin had been pulling the strings behind the scenes and manipulated my grandfather to change over his will. I didn't find out about this until everything was all said and done. My college fund was taken as well, since it was in my mom and grandmother's name, so he got control of it. My cousin even got the house I was told in my teens that I would likely inherit.
The ONLY thing that didn't get stolen through elder abuse was an irrevocable trust set up in the early 90s by my grandparents. I'm the beneficary, and a certified financial planner who has been a friend of the family since the 80s is the trustee. Basically, I can't get money out of it on my own, I have to go through her and she's legally obligated to act in my best interests. Apparently, there was SOME money my cousin didn't know about that went into the trust per my grandmother's will. However, I'm no "trust fund baby". I can't go out and buy luxury items let alone rely on the Trust to pay all my living expenses for the rest of my life.
Here's another wonderful kicker: I'm disabled physically and mentally. Autism spectrum, PTSD, generalized anxiety and major depression (likely related to the trauma and distress over the years). I was born with stickler Syndrome, which is a degenerative connective tissue disorder. Marfan and Ehlers Danlos are more well-known but fall under the same general umbrella, but Stickler is basically that your body doesn't produce collagen correctly, leading to bone, heart, vision, and hearing problems varying in degree from person to person.
I already have severe enough joint problems that physical therapy can't fix. I have fissures, cysts, and completely worn down cartilage and I'm only in my early 30's. I can't walk or stand for more than 20 minutes without severe pain and risk of falls, and I'm not supposed to use stairs frequently. Even sitting for more than 4hrs a day with breaks causes pain.
I've also been having neurological issues including 24+hr headaches and week+ long vertigo that seems to crop up randomly (even today, I was staring right at my laptop screen when I suddenly felt like I was drunk for no reason) and am awaiting an appointment for imaging tests and possibly Multiple Sclerosis testing. All of these things- diagnosed and not yet diagnosed combined, primary care doctors and therapists have agreed that I should be on social security and shouldn't exacerbate some of my conditions by continuing to work (unless I can find something that's fully accommodating).
I grew up in PA but bounced all around during my housing instability. The year before Covid, I was put back into housing instability when my housemate could no longer afford her inherited home and had to sell, so I had to leave the first stable and SAFE home I'd had in almost a decade, and my accommodating job as a result. I struggled to find that stability again, and while Covid was the first time I felt like I wasn't under pressure to find that stability immediately (I was living with a friend) it did fuck up my chances of finding employment once things started opening up again. My friend wanted his rec room back and told me I needed to move out (something he says he now regrets doing, but I understand). My only option was to move with an online friend in CA.
That went spectacularly, by which I mean he turned out to be incredibly histrionic and unstable and almost rendered me homeless. Other online friends helped shack me up in a motel and then let me couch crash for a bit. I ended up losing half my stuff including things from my mom and all my art from the past decade, because he kept changing the goalposts on how and when I could come get my stuff, and technically I was living with him off his lease, and didn't want to render him and his 7yo homeless by trying to take legal action.
My partner is one of his former best friends. Former because he's completed disgusted by what was done to me, and has heard a lot of flat-out lies from this person as to what happened. Shit like saying "multiple therapists warned me about him" to make me look like a terrible person, when 1. He only had 1 therapist and she moved out of network 2 months before this went down so he had none. 2. Feeding a patient's negative thoughts about someone based on hearsay and conjecture is a MASSIVE liability and something any therapist worth their salt knows not to do.
I was working night audit at a small hotel from February of last year until December, when I was immediately pulled and put on state disability by my primary care doctor after a fall while I was alone at work. California's state disability aid is based off taxed income, so there's a limit to how long you can use it. Mine runs out July 1st and after that I have no income and can't work. In CALIFORNIA. A lot of our homeless are disabled because it's so impossible to live in this state if you can't work full time.
I will be applying for SSI, but up until last February, I had NO medical records due to not being able to afford health insurance or stay in one place long enough for appointments. I had my PTSD and depression diagnosis, but not even records of my Stickler birth defect. You need ample documentation to apply for Social Security, and with a rare birth defect and specialists often having to be scheduled months in advance, that's not quick and easy task. I'll FINALLY be applying late this summer.
I acknowledge I'm WAY luckier than most people in my situation, because of the Trust, but that's where my current hurdles are. Like I said, I can't just pull from it willy-nilly, which I'm grateful for in some ways as panic-spending might have depleted me a while ago.
Back in April, the Trustee said that I could get a mobile home in a park back home in east PA, up to 75k$ budget. There are homes in that range, but I also have to keep in mind location and lot rent. With SSI being 914$ federally (PA has no state supplement), obviously I can't go for a park with a 800+ lot rent even with assistance programs like SNAP and LIHEAP. PA isn't a rent capped state thanks to a lot of legislators owning rental properties, so landlords can legally increase rent by a hundred per year (and they have). Ever since the housing crisis, mobile home parks have become the affordable option, and some parks have been bought up by corporations who are trying to price out Social Security recipients so they can get more money from people trying to get out of apartment living but who can afford lot rents closer to apartment rent costs.
Today, my top choice home got scooped up, and the Trustee is saying that she would rather I move back and rent so I can go see the mobile homes in person rather than relying on a local friend to do the tour with me on video call. Which, yes, I agree, except...
How the fuck am I supposed to do that when no apartment- independently or company owned- will rent to me when I am not employed and my only source of income is an irrevocable Trust? My credit score is 684 and climbing, I have no debt history, my current housemates can vouch for me in terms of cleanliness, respect, and always paying rent in advance. Even with all that, landlords want things like last two pay stubs, proof of 2-3x rent in stable income, or someone else who has those things to be on the lease with me.
Room rentals? Also borderline impossible. It took me almost half a year to find my current room rental. I have a cat with an ESA letter, but that doesn't allow me past no pets policies in most room rentals. I also got ghosted more than half a dozen times when I was talking with someone about a rental and then informed them I'm transgender, which could be anything, but I'm willing to wager more often than not it was discriminatory. My physical disability also means I can't get anything that requires frequent stair use, like a basement or upper level room rental, or one of the many split-level historic homes that have been converted into the only low-income apartments in the area. There's even apartment buildings so old they don't legally need to have elevators.
Section 811 exists for disabled folks, but county and city housing agency I contacted either doesn't have it, or it requires you to already be in crisis and unhoused. Senior centers can accept up to 20% resident population that's non-elderly but disabled, but either have NYC luxury apartment prices because of the amenities, or a huge buy-in.
I'm just so. Utterly fucking exhausted.
I spent most of my formative adult years just trying to get stability, while spending my formative childhood years in deep poverty with a mother whose mental health was deeply impacted by a stroke she suffered when I was 16 who laid her hands on my throat once, would alternate between being a loving "hip" mom and screaming at me over mundane bullshit, and would constantly tell me that she could have another stroke and die if I upset her. In my housing instability, I've been sexually assaulted, verbally harassed, or just lived with couples who were constantly fighting.
I want a stable and safe home where I'm not at risk of having to move within ten years. Housing in general is ridiculous, but it's like for us disabled folks, unless we have family or a spouse to live with? Not even the housing options meant to keep us from ending up homeless are available.
I already have my plane ticket (fully refundable) back home for September 9th since I had to book early to get a good deal and lock in my cat's registration for the flight.
I'm just worried that even though I have an opportunity a lot of struggling people don't, I won't even be able to get anything.
If I'm being forced to find a rental, it would be a miracle if I find something in time that won't turn me away for having a cat, relying on Trust for income, being queer, or being unable to use stairs.
I don't want to settle for a mobile home, but likewise, I honestly just want safety and stability. I don't care if it's fucking grandma floral wallpaper and 70's bicolour shag carpet everywhere. It's mine, and the Social security administration is going to force me to spend before I hit 2k$ in assets anyway, may as well throw an entire Lowe's at it.
I know this is a lot, and I honestly don't expect anyone to read it, but I'm so fucking tired and I just want stability before I die (of old age or health, since I guess I'm genetically per-disposed to breast cancer and strokes on top of the rest of all this shit).
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2023.05.28 05:45 Physical_Shock_7847 How do I go about starting a green house garden?
I just moved to Arizona and the area I’m in averages around 100-120°f in the summer and 50-70°f in the winter. I have always loved gardening, but I can’t seem to get anything to grow. The soil in my area isn’t that great so that’s a big part, but the heat also seems to kill anything potted I put outside in different soil. I’ve kept my indoor plants looking pretty good, but I don’t have an area in the house that gets enough direct light to help the plants thrive inside. I’ve never gardened in a greenhouse before, but I’m considering buying a pop up greenhouse to try it out. Would that help with temperature regulation? How would I go about greenhouse gardening? I’ve tried googling it but there’s so much information that it feels overwhelming.
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2023.05.28 05:13 youshartedhehe My older sister is a relatively new player and has been playing a lot more lately, more so now as she’s going through a rough patch. I’ve been playing for years, and she sends me updates usually daily. Tonight she sent this and it made me laugh. Thought y’all would appreciate it, too.
2023.05.28 04:55 dontlookdonttell In this case I actually am selfish for wanting to give up
mostly just a vent, advice if you have any? not expecting any though, I just need to vent also not proofread, sorry
the following is very long, tldr I am incredibly lucky and well off and have every reason to be happy but I'm a shitty selfish person who wants easy instant gratification more than to improve and I can't get myself to care about anything enough to try hard enough
I have grown up in an upper middle class family, my parents are cheap because they grew up poorer then dirt but I have never felt insecure about money or that my needs and wants weren't met financially. my parents have some issues, products of traumatizing childhoods they treated with alcohol when they were younger and now they try and ignore, but they are certainly not awful. My dad can irrationally angry and yell, my mom will flip from being the most loving adoring person to seemingly despising me over the exact same thing, but I have in no way ever been physically abused and at worst maybe got a couple overly harsh words... well paragraphs (she does not know when to stop talking even when she's just digging a deeper hole for herself) from my mom. their worst attribute is probably just the gaslighting that fights never happened or went differently then I remembered but it's not that big of a deal and to be fair I have god awful recall so maybe they are right???
I have a wonderful boyfriend, he lives across the US from me right now because his dad is in the coast guard but we spent a very nice couple months together and are still going very strong. he is the most kind, loving, and supportive person in the world, I love him more than I knew I could love anything.
I don't have many friends because I either pushed them away directly or indirectly because I am a shut-in online college student and will forget to respond to text messages for weeks sometimes, but I have a couple who still try even despite how god awful of a friend I am.
I am not doing the greatest in college, but I am not doing terrible either, my state has the Running Start program where you can take partially school-funded college classes from the local community college to count as high school credits junior and senior year, I've been doing that the last 2 years. I am graduating from highschool next month and from college with a business associates next year in March hopefully. I also skipped kindergarten, meaning I am very far ahead in things.
I am in discussion with a local CPA accounting firm about a part-time junior accountant position which is an incredible opportunity in the accounting field as is regardless of how young and relatively inexperienced I am to be having these conversations. It's one of the few things I'm actually good at (at least so far) that I don't despise AND makes good money, I am very excited for it.
I am a trans guy, took me a while to realize it because I tried so hard to convince myself I just needed to "be a girl better" and that's why I hated myself, literally made my own "girl-bootcamp" where I tried to teach myself to be a girl in the most toxic feminity misogynistic way possible like a fool. I'm out of it now though! I am dressing the way I want, I go by a preferred name now, I was out in my highschool's theatre program and everyone was chill with it, I am not working right now so I'm not stuck getting dead named and misgendered all day anymore, and I just had my first appointment with the best gender clinic in my state and I'm supposed to start testosterone in a month. I should be happier then I've ever been.
but in the last month I almost killed myself 3 times, I had only gotten that close to an attempt once before. I've gained this sickening awareness, now that I've met all the imaginary conditions for happiness and success, that I am not getting any better, and it's because I don't want to.
As a kid I daydreamed so hard about the future, so sure the future would make everything better for me, that I became a maladaptive daydreamer and I am still no better about that to this day. eventually I stopped being able to imagine having a future at all, any event planned to happen past this afternoon doesn't feel real until it's occuring. I got out of toxic friendgroups, got in a relationship, got out of it, did therapy, got ADHD meds, did more therapy, got antidepressants, did virtual intensive outpatient therapy, did more therapy after that. I got good grades, I discovered myself, I got a job, I dropped the job to focus on school and myself, I fell in love, I make planner after planner after planner trying to organize my life, I try everything I can to find things I enjoy doing that make my happy and might give me motivation, I have did everything I was supposed to and I am the same trash I was at the start.
I take a shower maybe once a month I brush my teeth maybe once every couple months I eat average 2 meals a day, often just one I stay up late into the night, sleep long into the morning, or fall asleep a 6pm and wake up at 6am, I fall asleep all the time randomly and fatigue clings to me like plastic film I pace for hours and hours daydreaming, or ranting out loud to myself when I'm home alone I doomscroll until my eye sockets feel hollow I play stupid games I know are wasting my time when there are urgent things to be done I rot. I lay in my bed in rot. I sit on the couch and rot. I pace in the kitchen and rot. I sit on my phone and rot.
I can not control myself, I only care about self-fulfilling instant gratification and nothing else. eating is hard and I don't like it, won't do it. showering is hard and I don't feel like it, won't do it. brushing my teeth is hard and I am tired, won't do it. going outside is hard and I know secretly they can't help but judge my stupid girly voice the moment I open my stupid fucking mouth, won't do it studying is hard and I am too stupid for this shit anyways, won't do it
I am not getting better, I am only getting worse. I am at the highest dose of ADHD meds I can comfortably take before the side effects start to bug me, I take a pretty high dose of anti depressants. I know I am chemically better than before, it's not raw exhaustion and disinterest and misery, I get very happy and excited and energetic, but only if does something for me NOW. I get excited about dandelions and weird bugs and Hank green tiktoks and playing Stardew valley and city bus rides and zoos, but only in the moment and once it is gone I am hollow. if something is at all out of reach, no matter how good it is, how much ecstatic euphoric joy it brings me in the moment, I will not fight for it. no matter how miserable I am, if improving the situation is perceived as even slightly more uncomfortable for the tiniest moment, I won't do it. I sometimes have... bladder control issues, absolutely not fucking fun. I used to be so ashamed and proactive about it, and I still feel awful and disgusting and ashamed, but if it's the usual small amount where I can convince myself "it'll dry", I'll literally rot in my own filth for a week or so. it's disgusting, I am disgusting. I have been trying so hard to do better but it's never enough because I can't put my full heart in it, I just want my simple easy pleasure and then die. I am still trying to keep up with things, but I am continuing to worsen. the same cycle happened to me with both jobs I worked, I'd start out a star employee, learning really fast, showing up early, being very responsible, then I'd progressively show up a little later, just barely on time, a minute or two late, 5 minutes late, 10, 20, I call out "sick" an hour before my shift, I do this a couple times, I put in my two weeks/quit. I make up some excuse, usually some mysteriously serious and private family matters, and rot in bed because I fell behind on work or just couldn't find the energy to go and then I realized I'm a shitty employee and leave. I am at the "realizing I'm a shitty employee and leaving" stage in my life as a whole, but that's not allowed. Giving up is a terrible sad tragedy, but the only cure to sadness is to want to be happy. The only way to get better is to want to improve and push through the hard times and work hard and someday things will be easy and good. There's no cure to being the selfish asshole who cares more about not having to brush my teeth then living for my loved ones. I don't want to fight anymore, I am tired, the fighting isn't making me better, my ADHD and depression and arfid all keep from doing the things to fight my ADHD and depression and arfid enough as is, simply not having the will to fight is the final nail. I'm so tired, I want to take off from school and ignore the job opportunity and ignore any needs or responsibilities or meals and just play games and watch science videos and walk around town solely just to walk and look at things in stores I'll never buy and make weird clothes and pick flowers and impulse buy that Amtrak ticket to Monterey so I can visit the aquarium and sleep outside because I'm too young to book and stay in a hotel room alone and catch a bus going somewhere I don't know just to see where I end up and walk through the woods behind my house and try to find animal bones or a snake or something, I want to scream and cry and tear myself to shreds and laugh until I can't breath and spend every second and those awful unproductive dangerous stupid expensive waste-of-time wonderful perfect soul-filling tiny tiny little moments and then just drop dead. no more responsibility to anyone, certainly not myself, just ecstasy and permanent sleep.
it's not fair, I don't deserve that at all, it's selfish to want it when every person in my life has been through so much worse and are doing a thousand times better, I'll hurt people, life isn't that hard, ADHD and depression and common and executive dysfunction happens to people all the time and they do incredible amazing things and all I'm asked is to eat my dinner, take my 2 online college classes, and not fucking kill myself and I am failing at all 3 and I don't deserve to be getting away with this, even if I live but keep up tis behavior I will hurt people and ruin myself, but I just don't care enough to try because at night when I'm standing in front of the bathroom door, more than enough energy to brush my teeth for two minutes, knowing I should, knowing it's easy and fine and good for me and I need to I really need to, I still turn my head and walk into my room. I yell at the people trying to help me, I shove everyone away, and ruin my own life again and again and again and I'm never going to stop because I don't want to. I am shitty selfish person and I don't fucking care and I want to care but I just can't fucking care.
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2023.05.27 23:22 AcidicWerewolf [16F] Looking for a long-term friend! Could you be them?
Hello! My name is Acid and I'm looking for some new friends! My only IRL friend moved away recently and my online friends are rather busy! If you think you want a new friend, read on!
NO ONE OVER THE AGE OF 21!!!
I love nature! Plants, animals, insects, anything! I'm a huge environmentalist and can rant about it for hours! My favorite animals are the Maned Wolf, Serval Cat, and Humming Birds! I'm hoping to become a vet one day! I play video games, though not often and I'm not very good. I mostly play Minecraft, Sims 4, and Stardew Valley. I love all things horror! I'm super into things like Vita Carnis and Gemini Home Entertainment! I like to draw, and just like art in general, though I'm not very good as I'm a beginner! I enjoy writing and worldbuilding! I super enjoy reading, mostly fantasy and horror! I also like anime, and recently have been obsessing over One Piece and Bungo Stray Dogs! I love deep talk and rants! I really like to talk but I also love listening to other people!
Let's skip the awkwardness of a first meeting and jump right into it! I prefer to talk on Reddit a bit then go over to Discord! I prefer voice chat but don't mind just texting! When you message me, don't just say "Hey", give me something to work with! Tell me about yourself!
If you think we'll be a match, send me a message! Talk to you soon, new friend!
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2023.05.27 20:22 Sensitive-Hawk1390 What does a pots attack feel like?
I’m curious what a pots attack feels like for other people. I think pots is going to be one of things that is brought up by doctors for me in the next few weeks and here’s why.
About 3-4 weeks ago my husband and I went shopping for flowers. We were in the greenhouse area and suddenly it felt like my heart skipped a beat and I got tunnel vision and felt very anxious, felt like I couldn’t feel my legs and felt like I was going to throw up. Made it home. Sat on the couch for awhile and felt better after a few hours. All seemed well until this past week. Monday I walked into the grocery store and after all of 3 minutes, I felt the same thing. Somehow got what I needed, got my kid from school but on the way home I still was very jittery, felt like my heart was racing and was gonna pass out. Pulled over and called 911. Everything in the ambulance and at the ER was fine. Next morning, I took a shower. Went into the kitchen and felt hot and sweaty. Heart rate was like 130. Laid down and felt the skipping sensation but my heart rate went down to 75 within like 2 minutes.
Since then, I really just feel like pure crap. Today I feel mostly winded doing anything. Feel better if I’m sitting down. I’m terrified to move too much. I will not be going into any stores anytime soon.
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2023.05.27 19:58 Gunzerker832270 [USA-TX] [H] Nintendo Switch Collection, Gamecube Collection, DS Collection, PS2 Games, Elden Ring PS5 Collectors Edition and Xbox One Games PS4 Games available in the Comments [W] PayPal F&F
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2023.05.27 19:45 Jauggernaut_birdy Deletion filler piece help
On my kitchen planner it shows a filler piece but no filler piece was delivered and I can’t click on it in the planner, when I move the cabinet next to it the filler piece disappears from the planner. Do we provide the filler pieces ourselves, are they provided by ikea? I’m so confused. images here
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2023.05.27 18:59 micktalian The Gardens of Deathworlders: A Blooming Love (Part 17)
Part 17 An Interesting Future (Part 1) (Part 16)
"Lieutenant Tensebwse and his former commanding officer are approaching your office for their scheduled meeting, ma'am." An automated voice called out to Admiral Atxika from her office desk where she sat with her feet up while reading a report on her data tablet. "ETA, three minutes."
"Excellent! Thank you, Hammer." Atxika slowly set down her tablet, delicately removed her feet from her desk, and took a deep breath.
With a subtle press of a button on the underside of her desk, a small section of wall behind her desk suddenly shifted and showed a mirror-like reflection. After rising from her chair with the poise and determination of an ardent professional, she quickly inspected herself in the mirror to ensure her appearance was still up to her standards. Though the slightly less constricting compression-undershirt she had chosen for this occasion allowed the chest buttons of her well-decorated jacket to bulge a bit more than she preferred, it made the field of ribbons and medals above her heart on the right side of her chest stand out a bit more. After a quick turn to check that her backside was wrinkle-free and tight in all the right places, she shot herself the human-like smile she had been practicing. Despite the fact that her large, pearly-white tusks she saw in he reflection had brought her so much confidence with men in the past, she was suddenly feeling a tad self conscious about them.
"Good enough." She thought to herself as she reached over to her desk, pressed the button to turn off the mirror, and began the short walk to her office door.
Looking over at the many hunting trophies and art pieces she had been collecting throughout the years as she walked, she thought back to her childhood fantasy of seeing the stars on a fully-integrated, multi-species crew. On her walls were the beasts from dozens of star systems and the beauties from dozens more, and yet it still didn't feel like it was enough. Though she had spent over a decade building up her crew to the point where she saw several different alien faces each day, those were the rare individual volunteers who were either Deathworlders themselves or had grown up around Deathworlders. There was a particular lack of diversity in her crew compared to what she had imagined after learning about all the different Ascended species in the galaxy, and that bothered her.
Approaching the door, the Admiral couldn't help but feel excited about the prospect of working towards a relationship with another species greater than the simple business contracts she had grown so bored of. Becoming friends, true friends, with people who already seemed to already have many friends felt like a surefire way to have her fantasy come to life. And the fact that it was an order from her Matriarch made it even better. Seeing the two men approaching on the small security feed next to her door, their long braids and colorfully detailed clothing giving them a roughly matching appearance, she took a deep breath and practiced her smile one more time before reaching to open the door. Even though this meeting was purely meant as a report on the progress of her honor guard in regards to their new mechs, Atxika was hoping she would have the opportunity to set the groundwork for a more interesting future.
"Ah, War Chief Msko-Pkwenech, Lieutenant Tensebwse, come in and make yourselves comfortable." Admiral Atxika graciously greeted the two men after opening the door to her office with a smile that slightly covered her tusks and motioned for the men to enter. "Or, do you prefer a shortened name as well?"
"Msko is easier to say for most people say." Despite having to look up to address the woman, the War Chief’s smile and polite nod were that of one military commander showing respect to another. "But you can feel free to call me whatever comes most natural to you, Fleet Admiral."
"I must admit, I think the title 'War Chief' has a certain ring to it." Atxika's tone while making the compliment was professional, but it was obvious she was trying her best to charm the man while gesturing for the group to move towards her desk. "It is an honor and pleasure to meet a military leader of your capacity under such peaceful and cooperative conditions, War Chief."
"The honor and pleasure are mine." Though Msko wasn't quite laying it on as thick as Atxika, his neon green eyes did have a particular sparkle in them as he began slowly and deliberately following the Admiral towards her desk with Tens close behind. "Believe it or not, the Glorious Defense of Genio'Turak by the Stalwart of Destruction is known to all Nishnabe war planners."
"Oh?" Atxika blurted out while stopping dead in her tracks for just a split second before continuing towards her desk. As she stopped and started again, Tens could have sworn he saw her bioluminescent freckles light up just slightly. "I didn't realize I was that well known."
"Wait, hold on, that was you?" Tens sounded genuinely shocked and froze in place a couple paces behind the War Chief. "You were the Qui’ztar sub-Admiral who destroyed a Class 5 Devourer Mass with a ragtag anti-piracy fleet? I heard you barely had enough ships to patrol the hyperlanes, and you still took out a full Class 5 Mass!"
"Well, I wouldn't call my Matriarch's 4th Fleet 'ragtag' but…" Atxika shot Tens a nasty side eye as she walked around her desk toward her chair. "We certainly didn't have The Hammer, nor much in the way of logistical support. However, how do you know about that? I wasn't aware you were involved in strategic or logistical planning."
"Involved?" Msko half-laughed while he placed a hand on the backrest of his chair and made a nodding motion for Tens to sit in the chair next to him. "This nerd already had resource expenditure tables, battle flow diagrams, and force organizations charts developed before we even had the first batch of combat-ready systems operational." As he sat down and shot a sarcastic look over at Tens, he continued with an almost mocking tone. "Do you wanna tell her why, Tens? Or should I?"
"The original idea for the mechs came after I won a real-time strategy sim game tournament that I spent way too much time prepping for." Tens rolled his eyes slightly while closing the distance to where his current and former commanding officers were now seated. "Super long story short, some people accused me of cheating because I gamed the force customization options and put together a light-assault mechanized force that didn't technically exist, and was basically unstoppable. People were saying the game is supposed to be realistic and there was no way the drop-mechs I made could exist in real life. My team and I wanted to prove them wrong and defend our title. And now, here we are."
"What game, if I may ask?" Axtika couldn't help but giggle slightly at what she had just heard. Though she knew the young man who had just sat down in front of her was an incredibly deadly warrior, the thought of him being an avid gamer made him more relatable.
"There Is Only War, Version 12." Tens answered with a cheeky grin.
"They're up to Version 12 now?" The look on the Qui’ztar's face was that of a person realizing their age. "Back in my youth, we were still on Version 10. That's the version I still play when I really want to unwind after a long deployment."
"Eee! Nice!" Tens's grin had grown ear to ear as he suddenly had a whole new level of respect for Admiral. "V10 was great but V11 honestly sucked. It was the first implementation of first-person command mechanics and the devs quickly moved on to V12 with a much more streamlined system about 8 years ago."
"I never really understood the appeal of sim games, just never really been my thing." Msko commented with a more respectful tone now that he knew Atxika was a gamer as well. "They just don't really feel real, even when they're really trying to, if you know what I mean."
"That's one of things I liked about OW V10, it wasn’t really trying to be 'real' so to speak. It can be played on either a simulator or a holo-table." The Admiral motioned towards the large table at the center of a seating area by the office entrance. "The basic format of the system is surprisingly helpful for developing strategic and logistical plans. Even if you aren't engaging in the game play, the customized strategic scenarios and logistics trains features provide a surprisingly useful tool in my line of work."
"See, Msko! I told you sim games aren't a total waste of time." There was an overly confident smirk on the young warrior's face as he looked over at his former commander before turning back to his current commander. "I kept tryin' to tell him OW is great for developing strike plans but he never list-."
"To be entirely fair," Msko interjected, "I wasn't aware that it was something actual military planners utilized."
"It's more of a useful practice or training tool, not a complete tactical or strategic solution. Nothing beats the real world, as they say." Atxika admitted with a light chuckle. "But we can discuss the uses of games as training aids later. At the moment, War Chief, I am far more curious about your impression of my honor guard."
"They're professional, motivated, dedicated, and willing to learn." The War Chief had a very serious, though pleasant tone that perfectly complemented the Admiral’s best. "I couldn't ask for more from my own warriors."
"That isn't really what I meant." Atxika's pleasant tone and expression didn't shift but Tens could tell she was getting to business. "I know they are mentally capable, otherwise they would not be in my honor guard. My concerns are regarding their physical capabilities. And, if I'm being completely honest, their physical safety, as well."
"Ah, yes, I think I understand what you mean." Msko suddenly had hints of apprehension on his face. "The acceleration forces in BD-series mechs can be fairly extreme, especially if you don't have any mods."
"Mods?" The Admiral had suddenly become a bit hesitant. Though the term 'mods' in this context translated as some kind of body-modification, the fact he hadn't specified what kind concerned her. "Do you mean cybernetic or…"
"Cybernetic and genetic." The War Chief winced slightly and his neon green eyes sparkling while answering the question. Though neither were illegal in the GCC, both were highly regulated due to their health complications and potentially lethal uses. And, more importantly, he knew Atxika was well aware of that. "Both are a bit more common on Shkegpewen, and among my people, than with most other species. We have particular neurological, genetic, and physical plasticities that allow us to go further with self modification than most others. For example, when I was 16, I chose my eye color from a list of compatible phenotypes, went to the gene-clinic, and about a month of slight irritation later, my eyes went from almost black to this neon green color."
"I got gene-therapy to make my bones denser and heal my spine after I broke my back when I was a kid." Tens added with a nonchalant tone that contrasted greatly against Atxika's growing shock. "Then, when I was 16, I got a full reaction time enhancement as a birthday present from my goko. That one was both genetic and cybernetic."
"As a children?!?" The Admiral’s eyes had grown wide with utter disbelief at what she was hearing. Though many species did have similar forms of self-modification, she wasn't unfamiliar with any where modification was this common.
"In our culture, we consider 16 year olds to be transitioning to adulthood. Not yet full adults, but well on their way." Msko quickly clarified and then added some more personal context. "By that age, I had already earned my first paycheck, got my first hunting kill, and was beginning my training for the militia."
"My apologies, I meant no offense." The Admiral quickly corrected herself while wishing she had brought along a diplomatic officer. "I often forget that our two species' age develop and age differently. Also, body modification is far less common among my people. Let's call it a… cultural difference."
"To each their own." Tens replied with an accepting shrug, though his tone sounded almost disappointed. "I'm sure your honor guards will be able to train their muscle memory so they won't have to rely on conscious reaction time."
"Is that how you've been able to so thoroughly beat those poor women in all of your sparring matches thus far?" The Admiral leaned back in her chair and shot Tens a stoic look that the young man had learned meant sarcasm, but appeared somewhat earnest.
"Are you bullying women, Tens?" Msko began glaring at the young warrior like he was going to have to lay down the law. "Do I have to call your goko?"
"What?!? No!" Tens whined and flinched like he was about to be hit by a much stronger person while putting up his hands as if to submit. "I'm training them! I swear! Sometimes I feel like they're holding back because they forget I'm not a dainty Qui’ztar man. And I just gotta remind them sometimes."
"He's just doing his job." Atxika caved and admitted as her smile came back. "The males of your species do bear a striking resemblance to males of mine own, if slightly shorter. So, I can understand the need to remind the ladies there are some strength differences from time to time. And, more importantly, if my honor guard found out the Lieutenant here had been holding back on them, they would be furious."
"So, you're showing them respect?" The War Chief was still staring daggers into the young warrior as he asked the obvious question.
"I swear to the spirits of our Ancestors!" Tens showed he was serious about this in both his tone and expression as he slowly lowered his hands. "I need to know that they'll all make it home safe and in one piece by the end of this deployment. They need to be ready to dive into hell and I can't get them ready if I'm treating them like first-year initiates."
"Look at you, thinkin' like a Brave!" The smile returned to Msko's face as he gave Tens a proud nudge on the shoulder then turned back to the Admiral. "With him training your warriors, they'll be fine. The muscle memory will come with practice, they just need the endurance to keep going."
"And that is one of my concerns." Atxika plainly admitted without dropping her pleasant demeanor. "Our species have different physiological adaptations when it comes to hunting. Where my species built traps and used stealth ambush tactics, I am told that your species are…"
The Admiral paused to try to recall the strange and unfamiliar term when a new voice entered the conversation through a speaker built into her desk. All eyes snapped towards the source of the sound and noticed a small yellow light appear as Tylon interrupted in a direct and somewhat excited tone.
"Persistence predators, ma'am, I believe that is the classification you are thinking of. Their species are currently the only Ascended beings who bear that classification." The AI-Captain chimed in to finish the Admiral's sentence and give context before starting his report. "And I apologize for the intrusion, but there is an urgent development from one of our scouts."
"Go ahead, Hammer." The Admiral replied with a now quite serious tone.
"We have detected a small, unauthorized settlement at the target location, as well as a single Arnehilian Disk-ship in orbit, ma'am." Tylon explained with a flat calmness in his voice before the War Chief interjected.
"Our last recon recon flyby was less than 6 months ago and we didn't detect anything, let alone fucking Grays!" Msko blurted out, his hatred of the silver-skin slavers deeply written across his face. "I'm gonna savor shattering that stupid saucer!"
"It seems their ship is in a near-dormant state and the settlement is using low-power and difficult-to-detect technology." Tylon continued his report while seemingly ignoring the interruption. "Further information is being gathered as we speak, but this doesn't seem to be a standard Arnehilian Dynastic group."
"They must be using some kind of shielding to mask their operations." The War Chief commented, his sheer disgust at the slavers was palpable. "Those fucks are always up to something."
"I don't think so." Tens shyly added before the AI continued with a slightly annoyed tone. "I've never seen Grays with stealth tech."
"The reconnaissance drones have only detected the presence of a few hundred Arnehelian biosignatures, as well as some non-native flora." Though he had been interrupted twice so far, Tylon was continuing in stride and left no more room for interruption. "There are no signs of either biological or artificial slaves, mineral extraction operations, atmospheric modification, utilization of weapons systems, decrease in local flora or fauna, or anything which would indicate hostile intent or the capacity of self-defense. Preliminary assessments are that the settlement is unauthorized, though otherwise not in violation of any galactic laws. I believe it may be a sustenance farming operation."
"Thank you, Hammer. I appreciate you bringing this to my attention so promptly." Atxika acknowledged the report with a respectful nod as the yellow light faded from her desk and she redirected her attention towards the two men sitting in front of her. Though the older one looked like he was seething with rage, the younger one looked to be lost in contemplation. "Well, that certainly complicates things a bit. I hate evicting people if they're just trying to survive."
"Evict!?!? Ha! We're gonna fucking slaughter those silver-skinned slavers!" The War Chief clearly wanted blood and Atxika was starting to realize the translation of his name, Red Fist, may be more accurate than she realized.
"Hold on." Tens interjected while rubbing his chin and remembering an interesting story he had heard in a port a few years back. "Could it be Greens instead of Grays?"
"What the fuck are Greens?" Msko shot back with a surprising amount of uncontrolled anger.
"If I may interrupt again, ma'am?" The yellow light on Atxika's desk had come back.
"Of course," Atxika quickly confirmed in an attempt to calm the situation, "I feel your expertise may be of particularly useful here, Tylon."
"Wait, Tylon?" Msko's eyes grew wide and he seemed to instantly snap out of his rage. "As in The Tylon? Tylon The Golden Dragon of Righteous Justice?" The look on the man's face was as if he was meeting one of his heroes.
"Yes." The AI answered as he manifested a small hologram representation of his chosen reptilian form.
"In that case, I apologize for interrupting you and doubting your assessment." Msko bowed his head slightly towards the holographic, golden-scaled, winged serpent. "Please, I would love to learn something new from such an experienced warrior."
"The Arnehilian species, before their Ascension to the Galactic stage, were split along two major political body; the Royal Dynasties, who claimed sovereign authority over all life and people, and the Free People, who were in the process of developing a decentralized, democratic form of governance as a rebellion against the Dynasties. The Dynasties flew a red and gray flag and the Free People's flew a black and green flag, thus the Grays and Greens. Prior to leaving their home system, but after developing their initial space-flight capacities, there was a large-scale conflict utilizing atomic weapons which was believed to have caused the complete destruction of the Greens, leaving only the Grays. However, there have been several reports of surviving Greens who are acting as nomadic sustenance farmers in order to avoid discovery and enslavement by the Grays."
The Admiral’s office fell silent after that explanation, but it wasn't clear to Atxika why. Msko dropped his head slightly and began rubbing the bridge of his nose as he slowly processed what the AI had just told him. Tens, on the other hand, was still completely lost in thought and looked like he was going to rub his chin down to the bone. As Atxika looked down towards Tylon and the small hologram looked up towards her, neither were sure how to proceed. However, before either could say anything to break the silence, Tens seemed to come to a conclusion in his mind, looked over towards Msko, and nudged the War Chief on the shoulder.
"We give everyone a chance, right?" The tone of the young warrior's question implied there really was no other choice in his mind.
"Fuck…" Msko shook his head for a moment before looking over at the young warrior. "You're right, we give everyone a chance. Even if we know we'll regret it later."
submitted by micktalian
to HFY [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 18:55 rotorootball Corleone Kush, seed to veg, soon to be moving to greenhouse.
2023.05.27 18:32 TA_roughlife My marriage is over
A few weeks ago, I posted here about my husband’s ‘new’ bisexuality. I figured I could live with him exploring what that meant for him, even bought a strap-on so we could figure it out together, but now new bombshells have dropped and our marriage is certainly over.
Financially, my husband is upside-down. He’s taken out loans I never knew about, is heavily over-drafted on all bank accounts, and the bank has closed credit accounts for nonpayment. Since I found out about this weeks ago, we met with a financial planner and got a good budget and I thought we would be able to move forward.
Then the sexuality bombshell dropped. As well as me finding out that he heavily uses tobacco — which, ew, but the problem mainly sits with the sheer number of times he’s looked me in the face and denied it. I found out about his sexual curiosities AND the tobacco while searching his closet for a stolen police firearm. Just a crazy day all-around.
A few nights ago, I went through his phone. He’s always been a liar and never been forthcoming with me, so his phone has historically been a good source of information if I’m able to get my hands on it. He has it locked down like Fort Knox though, so I have to ambush him randomly and get him to unlock it for me. So that’s what I did; for the second time in our relationship, I was the petty bitch who snooped through my husband’s phone.
And what I found was … oof. My husband has a secret Reddit account (don’t we all) devoted to multiple, graphic lgbt groups, lots and lots of porn, and wife-swap/swingers groups IN OUR TOWN. THE TOWN WHERE WE LIVE. WITH OUR CHILD. Full disclosure, I look at porn semi-regularly and share ‘good’ videos with him, but I have never ever ever engaged with any of the creators. I’ve never commented or sent private messages. I’ve always just browsed and shared with my husband. It was almost a foreplay ritual of sorts. But here he was, specifically seeking out women in our small southern town, commenting horrendous things about how he’d like to pleasure them and get them pregnant (after I’ve had 4!!!! abortions at his insistence) and sending them private messages (which were mentioned in his comments but deleted later, so I wasn’t able to read). He claims he never met them in person and it was just ‘fantasy’ but I will never know if that’s true.
This man, who stood before me and took vows in front of God and everybody and all my favorite people, has consistently lied about any- and everything in order to avoid feeling a single ounce of shame. He is so afraid of “disappointing others” that he lies and hurts them instead. Or maybe he’s just a pathological liar. Who knows.
No more. My therapist told me to leave, so that’s what I’m doing.
Tl;Dr - my husband is a liar and a cheater. Should’ve seen it sooner.
submitted by TA_roughlife
to marriageadvice [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 18:32 homagegnu4 Lodgepole closed through 6/22
2023.05.27 14:21 pokechopsammich 2023 Grow Off Update: Day 33
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Indoor: Promix Garden Mix with added perlite, Gold Leaf liquid nutrients, filtered tap water Greenhouse: Promix Garden Mix, organic dry amendments, filtered tap water ph'd to 6.0 submitted by pokechopsammich to MephHeads [link] [comments]
Indoor: I'm very happy with the result using Gold Leaf so far but I'm dialing it back just a bit from the recommended dosage because she looks a little heavy on the nitrogen. This one showed signs of flower around day 24.
Greenhouse: This girl had a super rough start due to my ignorance in using dry amendments. I almost gave up on her but decided to top dress with some Miracle Gro organic stuff I keep around for my veggies and move her to the greenhouse to see if she would make a recovery. So far so good! No signs of flowering yet on this one.
Everyone's grows are looking great, looking forward to seeing some beautiful late flower pics!
2023.05.27 10:43 FloraAndFauna2022 19 M Hi! I'm a gaymer looking for a long term friend to do everything with! :D
Hi there! I'm 19, M. I'm a gay guy and my pronouns are he/she/they. I'm looking for someone to do everything with!
Such as playing games, watching shows, watching movies, listening to music, and VCing all day.
I'm trying to accomplish my long term goal of moving to Germany. So if you're there, please do get in touch! I'd love to make friends before I arrive, so I'm not lonely for the first few months while I move in.
Here's what I like:
Video Games: Five Nights at Freddy's, Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Fortnite, and Animal Crossing (My favourite villager is Wendy).
Music: Punk rock, noise music, power electronics (a style of noise music), the singer Björk, the bands Whitehouse (a power electronics band), Throbbing Gristle, Duster, and Death Grips.
Films: Horror films, Michael Haneke films.
TV Shows: The End of the Fucking World, The Walking Dead
Books: Forever by Thomas Moore is currently my favourite book.
Other Things I Like: Anarchocommunism, fashion, history, the Nordic countries, especially Iceland, the designs and art of the 2000s, weirdcore, making weirdcore edits, writing, literally anything and everything horror.
I've been described as loud, crazy, into all things weird and obscure, funny, smart, and having the heart of an explorer to some, dumb, too loud, and introverted to others.
I hope to hear from you soon! :)
submitted by FloraAndFauna2022
to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
2023.05.27 08:01 djfredgarde Event Production Party Planner Moving Head Beam Mini 7R 230W Stage Light
2023.05.27 08:00 djfredgarde Event Production Party Planner Moving Head Beam Mini 7R 230W Stage Light
2023.05.27 02:51 TheOtherEvelyn I'm looking for advice on finding a therapist.
Apologies in advance for the wall of text
I've been struggling to find a therapist that is a good fit for me for years now. I'm unsure if I am unlucky, expecting the wrong things out of therapy, or what. I was hoping this community could give me some feedback. I've been in and out of therapy for almost 20 years now, My recent stretch started back in 2016. Since then I've seen 6 different psychologists. One barely counts cause I only saw him 3 times before deciding the fit wasn't right. One I liked a lot but he was just a student doing an internship and moved on afterwards. I stopped seeing my last therapist near the end of last year. My insurance is currently Kaiser through Medi-Cal if that is helpful information. Some of the problems I've consistently encountered with the therapists I've seen include, -Feeling like I am talking to a brick wall, where I either don't get much feedback or a simple “That sucks.” Like, yes I know it sucks, but now what do I do about it? -They’ve felt disingenuous. That monotone voice and generic responses. -When they don't lead the conversation at all and I end up rambling about my week and we make no progress on the overarching issue at hand. -Or they zero in on a random thing that I said, “I have so many chores this week…” “Are you overwhelmed? Could you get a day planner? A task app? Who can help you to complete this?” -Often the responses I get seem like a weird mad-lib, “if I say this does it make you happy? Or this? What about this?” Which also comes off as disingenuous. -The thing that irks me the most is the forced silence. Where they expect me to feel awkward about long silences and to keep talking so maybe I will have some insight, but it only infuriates me and makes me ramble and waste a whole appt. I have had trouble getting a slot on anyone’s calendar. Each appointment was always searching for another slot for the next appointment as opposed to, say, every Tuesday at 3. And they had me at every other week or longer between appointments, despite my requesting a set weekly slot. What I am looking for in a psychologist is advice really. -A neutral third party who can recognize patterns, bad habits, how things relate, or whatever it may be and help me to see that to make changes. -I'm looking for more realistic opinions, validation is great and all, but reality is good too. “It's ok to experience all of what you're feeling, but that was also an objectively crummy thing that person did to you” -To point out that for example “you seem to have such and such attachment style.” “you're experiencing this type of response to that type of situation” (say, just recently I had a friend tell me I'm pretty blunt, which I confirmed with a few more friends, but I never noticed, like, you'd think with decades of therapy, this might be something I'd have known about myself?) -I need someone who can keep me on track, bring our conversations back to the main goal, and not get sidetracked by unrelated topics. -I need to be held accountable, I’ve been assigned homework before but they never follow up. I'm given some meditation guides to listen to but they never ask how it went, or whether or not I'm keeping up with it, or if it helped, or that I should try it for however long before deciding it really doesn’t work. -Problem-solving is a big one, I want to do things, change things, recognize where I get tripped up, how to avoid that, etc. Having someone to vent to is great but it feels pointless if I don't have feedback. I have explained to multiple therapists my desires and peeves, I mentioned the brick wall, the silence, and the keeping focus, but they all seem to fall into the same pattern. Is there a certain way to explain this to a new therapist? I'm wondering, what exactly do therapists do? Am I expecting too much from therapy? Is my view of expectations clouded by pop culture and the media? I've only ever seen CBT therapists, do I need someone versed in DBT, or something else? I've requested DBT but got dismissed for whatever reason. I’ve been offered group but I definitely do not want that. Do I need a life coach instead? Have I just been working with the wrong therapists? Is it because I've been at Kaiser and they secretly have bad therapists or too many rules about what to say to patients, or rules about not giving out weekly appointments? And even if I figure out all of this, what are good resources to find a therapist? I’m not sure if there is a Yelp of psychologists. Where they give a blurb about them, what their specialty is, maybe some reviews, what insurance they take, etc. I mean, I know there are sites like that but I don't know how accurate they are. I’ve been told I can have Kaiser cover a private practice therapist but I have zero idea where to even look and I don't want to feel like I'm guessing, spend 2 months with them and realize it’s not a good fit, again. I know this was a wall of text and I greatly appreciate anyone who read it all, I wanted to try to explain it as thoroughly as I could. I’m hoping to get some insight on how to tackle this. Any advice is welcome but I would like (as well) a psychologist's perspective on how to navigate this and find a good one. tl;dr I’m not sure my expectations for therapy are realistic and I need to figure out what is.
submitted by TheOtherEvelyn
to therapy [link] [comments]
2023.05.26 22:20 bromanguydudes New Harbor Freight Greenhouse Dutch Bucket Build
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Kindve took the best from what I've seen on a variety of YouTube videos and created a dutch bucket system inside the 6x8ft harbor freight greenhouse. The corner of my house was empty, and even though the sun rises and sets both across the backside of my house I decided to fill the spot with the greenhouse, but extended across the backside which receives full sun all day. Have 18 buckets total. With two NFT rails. submitted by bromanguydudes to Hydroponics [link] [comments]
Using a 1/3hp sump to circulate through half inch pvc everywhere instead of the black hoses that tend to leak. Using 3in gravity fed pvc return into an 18Gallon drink cooler within the greenhouse. Testing out the Growee automated ph/EC controller and pumps to manage the water reservoir. Have the pump and water reservoir top off controlled through Home Assistant/B-Hyve.
Right now my only issue I'm facing is the warmer it gets outside, the hotter my reservoir gets. Just added some 1/8in R3 reflective insultation to the sides of the buckets that get the most sun, and added a swamp fan blowing across the water reservoir. Possibly looking into adding a water cooler. Or maybe moving the reservoir behind the greenhouse where there is more shade and is cooler.
2023.05.26 21:30 SKwiatks Written In the Stars Ch. 13: Lay Your Healing Hands on Me Part 1
Okay, in this chapter has a bit of sexual content in it, for those who are a bit concerned with the idea. I kept it very pg-13 between my two love couples in this story and try not to have smut between the two love scenes going on. Yes, Maya and Violet are playing with the idea of becoming each other's firsts, and Clem and Louis actually do. But I took the age thing into consideration, and wrote it in a very romantic, loving romantic way out of respect, and skipped over the actual 'act'. And brought in something new and different that the games has not done before. .................................................................
Over the course of a few weeks into November, Maya has been off restrictions but is still being watched like a hawk by several of her group members. She has been secretly meeting Violet on her off times and carving her own spirit animal she is making for her. Maya put down her knife and stared at the sky as the cold wind nipped at her skin. Maya ponders on what to say to her girlfriend on saying the big three words that scare Maya to death of saying.
Hey, Vi...the air is nice. Almost feels like spring out with your beauty. Oh, and I love you. What the fuck...Hey, I was looking at the sunset the other day and reminded me of you. I love you and want to share my heart with you. Okay, that is better than the first but still is lame. Maya heaves a sigh and finishes putting the chord of a necklace around the carved panther. Just then, Robert comes up behind her and sees what Maya is doing.
"I thought you already have an animal for your spiritual thing. You are switching animals now." Robert asks.
Maya looks at him, "It doesn't work like that, Rob. You don't switch out an animal once it is assigned to you by the elders and spirits. I am still a hawk and will be a hawk."
"Okay. Then who is the panther for?" Robert asks as he leans on a tree truck eating an apple.
Maya rubs her thumb over the panther's head and then looks at him, "Someone very important to me." Maya glances up at him and looks at the apple he is eating, "You know those could have worms in them. You should be careful eating wild apples." Maya advises him.
"Haven't encountered one yet, besides not like I have a farmers market to go to and get fresh ones. If mother nature gives me the fruit of its labors, I will eat it." Robert looks at Maya as she shakes her head at him.
Robert then slowly walks away and Maya stops him, "Robert. Can I ask you for advice or just something only you have experience of."
Robert looks at the apple and then at Maya as he chucks the rest of the apple over the fence into mother nature, and turns his attention to the older teen. "Sure what's on your mind?
Maya glances around the small courtyard of their encampment making sure no unwanted ears hear what she is about to say to Robert. Maya then looks up at the older black man, "This may be a personal question to ask and I don't wish to bring up painful memories of your life before the world went nuts. But how do you know, or can you give me advice on how to say I love you to your partner? Like how did you say it to your wife?"
Robert looks at the teen and sees her fidgeting with her green flannel buttons and chuckles a little bit at her nervousness, "Just...say it from the heart Maya. There are no magic words. You are going to say it to this girl you have been sneaking out of camp and up with." Maya looks at him with a shocked look. "Yeah, Maya I've known for a while. I didn't say anything because I knew you are crazy about her."
Maya looks down at her feet, "I don't want to be a fumbling idiot and mess it up. She is the first I...I feel this way about. And gets me melting. And I am asking you because you had a wife you were happily in love with until.." Maya trails off.
Robert looks at Maya and feels slightly proud she is coming to him. Kind of feels like a father and daughter bonding moment, "Well kid, I wasn't always a charmer. Let's see....I got the dry heaves when the first time I tried to say those words to my wife Monique. And the second time I was too much of a chicken. Then finally I blurted it out as we had our first argument." Robert casts his brown eyes on her, "Yeah...I am not the best role model to look up to with this kind of thing. But what I can tell you. Say it from the heart, and do not overthink it. Women respond better when you are being real to them and not putting on a fake show. Trust me they can see right through it."
Maya slowly nods and then looks up at Robert, "Thanks, Rob, you are somewhat of a help."
"Told you I am not the best person for this kind of thing." Robert shrugs.
"I think you are better than you think, and you are right. We do respond better when someone is being real with us, than someone who is faking it." Maya gave him a kind smile and walks to her tent for a late afternoon nap. Before she heads to her tent with Violet's totem necklace Robert calls her name.
"Maya, if this girl loves you the way you love her, I have no doubt in my mind she will reject you. You have a good caring heart. She will choose you, I know it. I'm happy for you. The both of you." Robert gave a kind sad smile to her and wishes her all the happiness in the world.
Maya smiles at Robert's words and turns to head for her tent, thinking about her Spring Meadow Beauty and how to say those bonding words to the love of her life.
Arvo watches in the shadows of Maya and Robert's conversation. He then slips off and heads to Alberto's tent. "We have a traitor amongst us, Albert."
Alberto was cleaning his hunting knife as he looks up, "What? Who?"
Arvo looks at him, "Maya. She's in love with a girl from that hostile group of kids in the woods. I knew that dyke was trouble."
Alberto looks up at Arvo, "I see..." Alberto puts the rag on the create.
"You are not going to do anything?" Arvo leans forward.
"Not at this moment, no. Actually kind of works out." Alberto smiles an evil grin.
"How is this working out? She could be leading the kids to us while we are unprepared." Arvo objects.
"I don't think that is on Maya's mind. Think about Arvo, with Maya's mind on this girl...she will not interfere with our strategy." Alberto said. "It works in our favor, but if you keep going after her it may not work out for us and our plan."
Arvo looks at him and nods as he makes sense. "So when are you thinking to do this."
Violet and Aasim are out collecting some wood from the material they got when stealing the supplies from the Raiders a few months back. Willy and Omar have been working hard to build a second layer of fencing with sheet metal and wood, with Aasim's help.
"You think this will be enough?" Violet asks Aasim as he is a defense coordinator of this project Clementine has made him.
"I think so. I want to ensure the walls are secure enough to last us the winter." Aasim looks to Violet, "Snow and ice break down our gates, and stone walls over time Need to have support struts in them to make them last longer."
Violet nods to that, as she gets Aasim's logic. Then she looks at the frame Willy and Aasim started weeks ago and points out, "Would the frame be I don't know expose to the same elements as well and will weaken the very thing we are avoiding here by collecting wood from the train station and our supplies from the Raiders."
Aasim chuckles, "No not exactly, my plan to solve that issue is to encase the metal wall from in the wood, so it is less exposed. That is why I asked you to come with me to gather as much wood from the train station and what we have from the Raiders. Willy, Louis, and I have been taking apart the Train Station to get more materials."
Violet looks down and thinks about it then looks to her friend, "Hmmm that explains why Louis was carrying a saw and come back from a whole bunch of trees he cut down. So how is the frame coming along."
"Actually we have just finished. And I need your help to fortify it to the main gate if you are up for it." Aasim smiles. "I know how much you like to work on big projects like this, at least it is something."
Violet looks down at the dirt pathway and then at the school where Willy and Omar have leaned it to the outside wall next to the cart left over by the Raiders. They use it to transport materials to and from the school. Although Violet still gets a cold chill running down her back when she sees that cart. The manipulating mind games from Lily, Violet being terrified of Lily threatening to kill the people she loves most in the world if she fought back. And the most betrayal is Minerva leaving her and choosing them over her. She still hears Minnie's voice that day that had broke Violet's heart and turned it into bitterness for some time after.
"Minnie...why...why are you doing this? Don't you even care for me?" Violet pleads as she is thrown in a jail-holding cell.
"Of course I care, I always have," Minerva spoke.
"Then come back with me! The Minnie I loved or used to know will not stand for what this psycho bitch is doing, and you are better than this!" Violet tries to get through to her former lover.
Minerva looks at Violet with cold eyes. Eyes that never felt so cold and distant to Violet. "That was a long time ago Vi. I've changed and not the same 14-year-old girl who fell for you. I have a new home now Violet and it is not with Ericson."
Violet's eyes turned into an angry glare, "What? Minnie...You don't mean that!"
Minerva looks Violet straight in the eyes, "Yes I do. Please Violet if you want to survive this, don't fight it, or you could end up being killed, or someone you and I care for. Do as Lily says, and you should be fine."
"Minerva...what have they done to you?! What...why are you doing this to me, to us! I don'—" Violet looks at her former lover.
Minerva reaches through the gates and holds onto Violet's hand, "I am doing this to protect the thing I love and you. I don't want to see you...get killed. Don't fight this please!" Although Minerva was lying and playing with Violet's heart the whole time. Her heart was no longer with Violet's, as the Delta is her home now.
Aasim looks down at her, "You okay Vi?"
Violet shakes her head not letting Aasim know, "Yeah I am. So what is your plan to approach the task?"
Aasim looks at Violet and then at the huge sheet metal, "You or Willy hold the frame in place as Omar and I hammer the nails into the stone wall."
Violet gave a snarky comment to his suggestion, "Aasim, I love you as my friend but just because I am a female, doesn't mean I can't do manly things as well. I can hammer into the wall, then be a support beam for the damn thing."
Aasim blushes on his own words he said to Violet, "Sorry, I didn't mean to come off misogynistic. If you want to hammer away into the wall, be my guest, I just thought you...never mind. Your call on the matter." Aasim grits to himself.
Violet nods his apology for his arrogance at times being a guy. Violet felt a cold chill, as the wind blew at her and Aasim's back. Violet looks up at the sky as Maya has been teaching her how to sense when a storm is coming, "We should hurry up and get the wall up this afternoon. I feel a major storm coming."
Aasim looks at Violet and then up at the sky. The air felt cold like dropping temps but nothing that will cause a storm, and looks at Violet, "How do you know it is going to storm?"
"I don't know...I sense it. The air feels heavy and can feel the dampness. Hard to explain." Violet casts her green eyes to the side avoiding Aasim's gaze not revealing how she knows this.
But Aasim is no fool no matter how hard Violet hides it. "Maya been teaching you hasn't she."
Violet looks down and remains silent for a bit. Then looking half at Aasim, "Yes. She is very resourceful you know. Knowing how to tell time with the moon, sun, and stars, knowing how to listen and read the earth, and sensing the different weather patterns. Honestly, learning so much from her and what her ancestors used to do before the modernized world came in and ruined everything including her beautiful culture and way of life." The last sentence she spoke surprised herself, as she has falling in love with her native girl and her culture. "I know...Clem doesn't want me to see her, but.." Violet slowly stops as she confesses to Aasim, "Can this stay between me and you?"
Aasim silently nods as Violet is opening up to him for some strange reason. Violet takes a deep breath and confesses to Aasim on her love for Maya, "For the first time since....Minerva, I have found love in a person I least expect to be loving let alone having to receive love in return. I fell in love with her people that she speaks of in a faraway place, her culture, and with her. I never knew a love like this existed until...we got close. And now, she is all I think about, day and night and all the hours in between." Violet slowly eyes Aasim. "Please don't tell anyone. I already feel and get looks from some people here questioning my loyalty to this group."
Aasim was surprised this came from Violet as she confines in him her love feelings for Maya. "I won't. I am just surprised you even turn to me on this matter and not Louis. Considering Louis is your best friend or closest friend here."
"Well Louis is all lovey-dovey with Clementine, so I doubt he will find the time to hear out my heart. Plus I don't trust him on keeping it to himself as you will." Violet admitted. "I know you keep secrets well and live by a set of code."
Aasim nods to that as people come to them for their problems and hold secrets. Aasim turns to Violet, "You are right on that." Then he half smiles at Violet's last sentence, "I guess psychology really does run in my family." Violet turns to look at him out of confusion, "My mother was a practicing psychologist who specializes in group therapy of wounded soldiers in combat and tackles their PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when coming back from war zones, and learns to manage and treat their mental state. My parents pushed me into doing some kind of field in psychiatric medicine to keep in the family business....but I didn't want that for my future and wanted to be a pediatrician and help kids fighting illnesses instead of practicing psychology. But now I come to realize since being at this school, the psychologist in my family is speaking to me."
Aasim sighs as she looks at Violet, "You really truly love this person don't you?"
Violet nods, and a slight smile is on her face when Maya's name runs through her mind and sees her sweet face, "Yes...for the first time in my life, I feel loved, and wanted by someone." Violet then pushes her mushy feelings down and moves forward to the front gates. "Just....pretend I didn't get all mushy back there when talking about her."
Aasim kind of chuckles at his friend. He knows Violet doesn't like to show her softer side to people and it is rare for her to show such emotion He can tell Violet is not comfortable being open as she clams up a little. Aasim walks with her as he and Violet brought the materials inside the gates of Ericson.
Violet pounded away at the wall as she and Aasim boarded up the main gate of Ericson. Clementine and Ruby returned from the greenhouse with some fresh veggies Ruby is trying out. Violet looks at Clementine and rolls her eyes as she continues to put more nails into the protective wall. Willy was trying his best to hold tight to the wall, but his tired arms felt weak, and he let go for a split second.
As Willy shakes out his arm the part of the wall came undone and he heard Aasim yelling at him to get back to holding the wall, "Willy the wall, hold it steady!"
"I am, I am." Willy groans as he places his hands back on the wall. He sees a metal beam coming loose as Violet was moving toward it, "Violet be careful of the—" But it was too late.
Violet felt a twinge of pain as she shrieked out in pain holding her arm, "Fuck! Damn it Willy!"
Aasim jumps down from the top of the wall to attend to Violet's injury, "Let me see it." He sees blood oozing from the wound as he applies pressure to Violet's arm to stop the flow.
Willy steps back from the half-secured wall mount, "I am sorry really. I tried to warn—"
"Go get Ruby!" Aasim yells at him. Willy took off and catches Ruby before going into the dorms with Clementine.
Violet lets go of the hammer and winches at the sharp pain. "I'm fine it is probably just a scrape, you don't have to hold my arm, Aasim."
"Vi you are oozing blood, this more than a simple scrape. I don't need you passing out from blood loss okay." Aasim looks at her.
Ruby and Clementine came to stand beside Aasim with Willy slightly behind the two older females, "What happened?"
Violet glances up at Clementine, "Nothing I am fine."
Ruby knelt down and nudges Aasim to move his hands. Blood oozes out, and Ruby applied her rag to Violet's wound. "This is going to need some suturing Vi?"
Violet looks away and winches at the pain and nods to Ruby, "Just fix it up okay."
Clementine eyes her old friend, and helps Violet up but Violet shoves Clementine's hand away, "Fuck off I don't need help from you, I am capable of getting up myself." Violet still holds anger at Clementine for keeping Violet away from seeing Maya. Violet holds Ruby's rag to her arm and slowly moves to the admin building to get patched up by Ruby.
Ruby looks at Clementine with empathy and goes to Violet to attend to her wound. Aasim looks to his leader, "Give her space Clem."
Clementine sighs out a frustrating sigh, "I've been giving her space. And all I get is her resentment."
Aasim sighs as he picks up Violet's hammer and nails, "She is just dealing a lot right now, need to be patient with her and give her some slack. She will talk to you when she feels she can trust you and you hear her out."
Clementine looks at him, "She talked to you?"
"Yeah," Aasim spoke.
"She tells you why she resents me?" Clementine holds the wall steady.
Aasim nods silently and then looks at his leader, "I swore to her I will keep what she told me to myself. I think part of it is you are not hearing Violet out on this whole Maya thing. My best advice Clem, listen to her and let Violet speak. The problem I think is you two have a miscommunication going on and not hearing each other. Violet thinks you are barring her from Maya because of people in her group, which I know is not your intention to do, but that is how Violet feels. And Violet is not seeing it from your perspective because....well because of her fondness of the new girl in the other group." Aasim doesn't want to tell Clementine what he just promised Violet that she is in love with Maya.
Although Clementine picked up the hint that Aasim said, "I know....but I have this feeling, call me predictable or superstition, but I feel we all will get crossed and burn if I let Maya in. See how well that turned out when I try to trust Minerva, and almost cost me my life as well as others I care about. I am trying to keep us all safe here." Clementine sighs as she looks at the wall, "You want help?"
"Sure," Aasim said as Clementine holds the wall.
Ruby was attending to Violet's arm and wrapping up her arm. Already she misses Maya's sweet touch to heal her. God, I am going crazy here. Ruby puts a small layer of gauze over her arm. Ruby quietly talked to Violet, "It doesn't look to be that deep, but try to keep this wrap on for the next several days."
Violet nods, and Ruby puts away her medical supplies, "You know Clem was only trying to help you. She wasn't going to grill you or anything."
Violet looks at Ruby, "I know. Maybe I shouldn't have been so mean, but you and Clem do not understand what I am going through."
"Then talk to us, Violet?" Ruby turns to face her.
"Why should I when you all look at me funny when my heart chooses someone you all hold judgment to? Yeah, I see how you all look at me. The only people who don't question my loyalty and don't judge me are strangely Aasim and Louis." Violet climbs off the table and storms out, leaving Ruby in the nurses' station alone.
Violet sneaks out of the admin building and while Clementine, Willy, and Aasim are busy with fixing up the wall task, Violet goes to Clementine's treehouse and sneaks out to go find Maya, and let her heart be soothed in the arms of her true love. Little did Violet know, her heart wanted more than just soothing from Maya and wanted her to have a passionate night.
submitted by SKwiatks
to TeamViolet [link] [comments]
2023.05.26 19:42 UnorthodoxSimplicity ASMR Opposites Attract Part 3: "Visiting the beast" [Collaboration] [Slight Yandere/Deredere Female] [Gothic/Tsundere/Slight Kuudere Make] [Distrust] [Answering Questions] [Walls Up] [Annoyed]
ASMR Opposites Attract Part 3: "Visiting the beast" [Collaboration] [Slight Yandere/Deredere Female] [Gothic/Tsundere/Slight Kuudere Make] [Distrust] [Answering Questions] [Walls Up] [Annoyed]
Plot: Cassandra's religious and gothic crush has been on her mind for the past week. Something about that dark aesthetic, that pale skin, those jeweled and different eyes. They're all so attractive. HE, is so attractive, but something under that toxic scowl may be holding him back. Can she make Donte open up?
M: (Sound of turning a book page) "What is it, Jack? I thought you had fries to make."
Jack [Optional 2nd Voice]: "That chick on your mind, boss?"
M: "Hmph. Nobody is on my mind, man."
Jack: "Oh she most certainly is bro."
M: "Who the hell are you talkin' about? We only had four people come in so far today, and it's lunch time.'
Jack: "We saw how flirty that pink chick was with you. You made out with her?"
M: (Sound of the book closing) "That fuckin' pipsqueak with the glasses and happy demeanor? I hope she never comes back here, to be honest."
Jack: "Is that not, you know, dark?"
M: "I'm a fuckin' Satanist, Jack, and I happen to like it when I bleed and when I make the unreasonable of this pitiful planet bleed." (As he speaks the sound of the front door opening and ringing a bell, door closes) "I'm exactly why she shouldn't return. I only kissed her so she'd possibly back off. Also because I chose to put her first. Clearly that hasn't worked."
F: (Walks up to him) "Donte?"
M: (He turns around furiously) "KILL IT WITH FI-" (He has his arms up, mouth open, and scowl present. Looking at her hopelessly)
[Five seconds pause]
F: (Girly giggle) "Hi."
M: "Uh, he-llo?"
F: (Starts to giggle at him) "You can move you know."
M: (The statuesque pose was dropped) "Ugh. I don't need you tellin' me what I can and cannot do. You bein' here, again might I add, caught me off guard."
F: "Did I really?"
M: "For good freakin' reason, mind you."
F: "Oh? Why were you shocked?"
M: "Is it not obvious? You're here. You shouldn't be."
F: "Should, not be here. Doesn't mean I cannot be here."
M: "That's enough, frauline. I went out of my way to overlook your lie and spent time with you the other day. You said, 'what you say goes'."
F: "But I- No, no you're right. I dragged you with me so I could have my fill of your presence and attention. And I uh, lied to you."
M: "Ja, you did. So why are you back? Ich mag dich nicht und vertraue dir nicht."
F: (Sound of sitting down) "You're just different, Darkness."
M: "Me? Different?"
F: "Well, yeah. You're different in a good way. At least to me."
M: "I'm, a fuckin', Satanist, Cassandra. Just because I know how to be nice does not mean I am an angel. What's so good about wantin' in my pants?"
F: "Could you sit with me? Please?"
M: "Errr." (Grumpily sound of sitting down)
F: "Okay I'll explain. I'm not so good with psychology, but you look like someone who would do what we did regardless of me trying to steal you."
M: "Sorry but I don't follow."
F: "What I mean is I saw something in you. I see, something in you. I don't care that you're a Satanist. You're not evil."
M: "I appreciate the benefit of the doubt, but you haven't known me long enough."
F: "Hm, what? You're gonna sit there and tell me you actually are?"
M: (He's silent, but his knuckles can be heard cracking)
[Ten second pause]
M: "Are you askin' me to lie to you? Because I refuse to."
F: "Darkness I- (Pouts) I already lied to you once. I wouldn't want you to do that to me."
M: "I have my reasons for feelin' the way I do, and actin' the way I do. I even have my reasons for devotin' myself to the devil."
F: "Is it all really that personal to you?"
M: "Only two others know why because I trust them with my life."
F: "I should've guessed your biggest secrets would have been known to people you hold dear. I thought your workers were those people."
M: "My workers don't know anything about that, neither did they ask. Not counting them there are only the two. My best friend and the guy who used to own this building."
F: "Wait, you aren't the only person who has owned this place?"
M: "No. The dude before me wasn't the first owner either. It was the guy before him."
F: "If you're the third, then I'm guessing whoever was before the previous owner had the building built?"
M: "Ja. That guy, from what I've heard, spent a fortune have the making building built. He too used to live here just like I do and like the last guy did. The first guy had it as a greenhouse, before me it was a diner, now it's my bar."
F: "I see."
M: (He looks away, takes a deep breath) "Why the fuck are you so persistent of me?"
F: "Are you afraid of me?"
M: "It's not you I'm scared, Frauline. What you want."
F: "You're afraid of…"
F: (Reaches for his hand, he refuses.) "Gimme your hand. Gimme."
M: (Reluctantly gives)
F: (Kisses at his hand a few times) "I don't ever want you to say you're afraid. Don't ever say that again. Please."
M: "Why? Why should I not be afraid?"
F: "Because you're The Selfless Satanist. Are you not?"
M: "...You, you know? About my title?"
F: "Well, to be honest I didn't know whether or not that title was actually related to you. I've been hearing rumors about whoever that was supposed to be ever since I got here so connecting the dots wasn't so hard."
M: "Well, the rumors about me have been around for three and a half years. Most of them true."
F: "I underestimated you. Still, I don't want you to be afraid of this." (Kisses hand) "Why are you even scared?"
M: "You want to know what terrifies me about affection? Move a continent, and I'll tell you."
F: "Tsk. You want me to earn the same trust of the other two friends?"
M: "You're welcome to try, and I don't trust you."
F: "You really seem to love enforcing distrust at me."
M: "My friends and workers earned it. I won't stop you from trying."
F: "Well, if you're open to letting me try, maybe you'll let me do something for you? Consider it a proper apology lying to you."
M: "Oh? So eager earn it? What is it you want to do for me?"
F: "My parents actually want to meet you. I told them I'd ask you over to my place for dinner. No pressure, no catches, and I get to know you more. And, since I'm asking, what you say, really does go."
M: "That's it? You just want me to eat with you and your folks?"
M: [Ten second pause] "Alright, missy. I'll go."
F: (Gasps in excitement!) "Really!?"
M: "BUT! The flirting has to stop. I'm not available. Be thankful I'm comin' over to eat with you and your parents. I'll even consider seeing you more often if you do."
F: (Kisses his hand) "I'll hold you to that promise, darkness. Do I even call it a promise?"
M: "I always keep my promises. I'll keep this one too."
F: "You've probably made my whole month. Maybe even my year." (One more kiss) "I have to go. Tell my parents to prepare an extra big meal for you. Do you fancy anything in particular?"
M: "Can your father do steak?"
F: "Oh absolutely! Daddy's amazing with steak. I'll go tell him right now! Bye bye, baby!
(The door opens, the bell rings, door closes)
M: "...Was ist leben?"
submitted by UnorthodoxSimplicity
to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
2023.05.26 19:35 drewwwj [IWantOut] 19M USA -> Germany
TLDR: I am aspiring to study to become and architect or urban planner in Germany because I feel like it's the only place my voice will get heard and I want to create a better life for myself and a better world for future generations and am passionately angry with the way things are run in the US. How do I start my path towards studying in Germany and successfully obtaining citizenship?
Hallo! There's a LOT of background context to this, so I'll try to keep it short. From the age of 15 I started obsessively learning languages and planning to leave the USA. I glorified Europe in my head and wanted nothing more than to leave here. At 17 I got a job in construction, moved to a better state, and was genuinely happy with things for a while. Then I got depressed because I hated my job and was working 50 hours a week for little pay... at the start of my adult life. THEN I got fired, and had to move back to my hometown that I so badly wanted to leave. At least for a while I was able to hold down a job and live in the forest. Now I'm back in this sad excuse for a city, and.... It's terrible. It's depressing. It's a wasteland with 500,000 people walking around it.
I managed to get a job in fast food, but it's harder than my construction job was, BUT, doesn't even matter because I only get 25-30hrs per week. I'm staying with close friends but it's only a temporary solution. And currently I'm not making enough money to get an apartment and start paying rent.
I moved back here about 2 months ago, and I don't have a license. There's almost ZERO biking infrastructure here, and the bus only comes hourly (nearest stop is 1.5 miles from my house, with no sidewalks to get there) But this is how I'm getting to and from work at the moment. The bus also stops running at about 7pm, and I usually work later than that.
My point being, I have become passionate and fascinated once more with the idea of walkable cities and public transportation. I've decided to go on a personal strike and not get my license, while only using the buses here. It's making my life harder, but I refuse to further contribute to car culture. I've picked back up on a long abandoned dream of becoming an architect. As a kid, I was a createor. I built things. LOTS of things. I drew home layouts, I built sculptures with super glue and coins, and popsicle stick houses. I lost this part of myself, but in the past two months of my life I have had only one thought "Trying for something better can't leave me any worse off than I am currently"
Working in fast food in a disgusting US city. I can't keep living like this.
My biggest question is, because this turned into kind of a rant, is, would I be accepted in Germany? I want to make a better world AND a better life for myself. I want to become and architect, or urban planner, or transportation official, or literally anything that will contribute to a better society. But there's no space for that in the US. I'd get eaten alive. I feel like Germany has a footing for people trying to help make a better world. A place where my voice would actually be listened to if I choose to speak up.
I plan on working my ass of to save around $25,000 (min requirement of $11,000 per school year + free education) and spending every second of my spare time learning German. I want to move to Germany and study architecture or urban planning (leaning towards architecture because I'm not good with public speaking) and genuinely do some good in the world, but I understand German ideals for immigration is that you have to actually contribute something, and I really want to strive to prove that. I learned German from the age of 16 and then stopped while I was working in construction. I reached somewhere between A2 and B1 and am starting to learn again.
Sorry if this was the wrong place to post this, just looking for some thoughts and perspectives, because nobody in my life is currently really in support of this decision, but for me it seems like the best way for my life to move forward.
submitted by drewwwj
to IWantOut [link] [comments]
2023.05.26 18:06 Fair-Work7701 My "friend"(30f) blocked me (33f) because she has problems that has nothing to do with me, but tries to add me again on social media
I had a friend (let's call her Elsa) who I was friends with for more than 10 years. In these years we had our ups and downs, but we always made up. But the fights were always the same: her lack of communication, a lot of times she cancels to hangout together on the same day, me nagging about her behavior. Most of the times Elsa is saying that she is always wrong and does everything wrong and when I question about some situations, she will get defensive and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Elsa was a dear friend to me because we always had fun and her being supportive when need, but I feel I can't stand her bad traits anymore.
We have a mutual friend, let's call her Diana. She shares the same thought with me, but she doesn't complain much to Elsa about it because she doesn't want to bother her with it. We were in the same group chat, but Elsa left the chat because she didn't want to be included in a lot of group chats anymore and it is very annoying.
Elsa's husband has a farm. Last year in July there was a fire at the farm. 20 % of the animals that lived there, died. There seems to be a lot of damage. I was really shocked and contacted her several times to be there for her. I also wanted to hang out if she wants, but she didn't have a lot of time. She appreciates that I am always there for her. Elsa mentions to me that Diana didn't respond that much in our groupchat about the fire and find it very strange. I told her that she might have been very busy because of the kids, the vacation and a lot happened (info: Diana has responded in the groupchat, asked how she was and what the damage was, but didn't get a response from Elsa.) .
Days after they had a very huge fight on Whatsapp and also on the phone. In Elsa's eyes, Diana didn't support her one bit. It didn't end there. Diana blamed Elsa that most of the times she cancels to hang out on the same day while Elsa is blaming Diana that she was late at her bachelor party and wedding because someone told her(another info: Diana and I prepared her bachelor party, but due some conflict with the preparations, we came at a later time, but still before Elsa was coming. Also Diana was right on time at the wedding, but she had to move her bicycle to another place which wasn't mentioned by the wedding planner). I was shocked when I heard that from Diana. While I agree with Diana with some subjects, I also said that if something is bothering her, she has to tell Elsa. Diana said to me that she was frustrated and feels like the bomb has exploded at both sides. Diana said to me I shouldn't choose sides because she doesn't want to wreck the friendship between Elsa and me. I told her I am not going to choose sides because it is their fight. Around the same time I had contact with Diana.
A week later I saw that Elsa has blocked me everywhere on social media. She also blocked my boyfriend, my other friend, and Diana's mother. She didn't blocked her other friends. I was shocked, frustrated and sad. I asked Elsa on WhatsApp why she blocked me and if I did something wrong. Also I said to her that if she doesn't want to talk about her problems with me, I know what kind of person she actually is. Elsa reacted to me and told me how sorry she is and she wants to have contact. She has a hard time because of the fire at the farm and she has problems and is mad. She also told me she doesn't use social media that much anymore. It had nothing to do with me personally. I told her I understand her, but this isn't the way to handle things and she shouldn't use a scapegoat. She told me again she is sorry. I let her go on this one. We had normal contact for several weeks, but it was still nagging me. She unblocked me on social media, but didn't add me. I didn't either. I was curious and I also wanted to prove my point just for myself. She was still using social media actively. So I asked her again why she blocked me because it didn't feel right. This time she became really defensive and reacted irritated that she is not going to explain. I asked her what she is mad about. She told me just mad, but she wasn't mad at me and it was nothing personal against me. My opinion is that if she deletes and blocks people, there should be a reason. She said she isn't going to explain again. I thought, I am not going to ask her about it because it isn't worth it.
One week later she is trying to add me on Social media and follows me on a public account. Because of the situation, I waited to accept her invitation for a few days. But then she blocked me again. And she did this several times. Even her husband has blocked me. And now she is following me again and trying to add me on social media.
In the following 10 months she does this everytime. We didn't have contact in these 10 months. Follows me for a few days and the she blocks me again. I don't know what to think. I want to ask her why she is blocking/unblocking me everytime, but at the other hand, I don't want to give her attention and I am done with her behavior. I asked people about their opinions and most of them say that she shouldn't behave like that and someone even said she is manipulative. Only one person said that it might be an impulse action. What do you think I should do? Ignore her or confronting her?
submitted by Fair-Work7701
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]