The force that holds atoms together

My ex (27f) and I (34m) started dating on December 11th 2022.
We became very close very fast, to the point she would spend nearly every night at my house even accompany me on a 4 day vacation I was originally going to go on wlone.
We have had numerous arguments mostly from a lack of boundaries, high expectations, and her viewing sex as transactional (former stripper).
While I've had my own issues, such as over texting, over reacting, calling when she wants time to figure things out. My ex is often very quick to anger, will often to threaten to leave if I talk about an issue or my feelings.
We've been broken up since early April. From there she did not pull down social media photos or block me, she kept allowing me or engaging in hanging out with me. Alluding to hope we could fix things, I've done numerous things to do what she's asked to change my behaviors that are problematic. She doesn't really compromise on any of hers. I've forgiven her for actions, she says she forgives me.
A weekend prior to this one, she had shown up solo to my work party and I ended up talking to her. She came to my house we had a fun night, then we discussed our breakup and what she needed. She told me how she loved me more than anyone and cares and eventually wants to be with me.
She promised we would be exclusive during this period while she gets it together and figures things out. We spent that Thursday til last Monday together.
On Tuesday I call her to try and cheer her up because she's having money problems, I offer to help her by paying her to do some work for me and I also send her 100 on venmo for free
She explains she's going to do postmates, I say ok, full well knowing she's most likely going to audition at a strip club. When i say that she's made me wait for 3 hours to get the answer that she won't be coming to help me. She gets upset saying I'm purposefully trying to make her feel bad. I ask for a short 5 min phone call. She won't give it to me, and is sending short dismissive texts and blaming me for "all our calls are long"
Throughout the night I call it that she's lying, she eventually answers a call from me around 1241 saying she doesn't have to tell me anything. (This is directly after she had told me were exclusive the weekend prior I even make mention of this) I had planned to tell her I knew she was doing a stripping audition and it's okay on the phone.
I find myself anxious and upset, and I decide that this breakup has been very drawn out and I'm going to drop her contacts off the next day. As I drive by her house I see a man leaving. I take a picture and send it to her on instagram
She eventually talks to me comes clean that she got the real job she wanted but went to a stripping audition last night, got the job there too but she qont be taking the job as a stripper. Then explained she went to the bar we met at and ended up hanging out with a guy and doing cocaine. She claims her and this man only made out for a minute or so, no cuddling cause she felt weird then he left.
She comes to my house and tries to make things better, we eventually get hot and heavy and I say 'it was only kissing?' Figuring that if this is what she needed to know she needs to be with me, fine.
She confirms it wasn't only kissing and if it wasn't she wouldn't have sex with me because that would be messed up.
I end up contacting the guy on instagram (she told me his name, and I have seen him at the bar before. Very easy to find his ig) he says she's telling the truth.
I try to talk to my ex, she's being very angry that I'm pushing the conversation of if it's the real truth and why does she keep flip flopping back snd forth between being in love and pushing me away and now light cheating.
Later I talk to the guy she cheated with, and get out of him that they did more than just kiss, and that they just didn't have sex because of cocaine making it so he can't get hard.
I immediately tell my ex how she's a lying mean person for doing all this, and not only lying to begin with but to get mad at me about telling her she's lying even more.
Since then, we've been hanging out and I have been trying to push it aside and think "well if this is what she needed to know she wants to be with me"
Now she's telling me that she wants to remain single, but loves and cares about me and I'm the best sex and am so much more attractive etc. But she wants to be single because I'm "too sensitive" and says now it'll be annoying because I will want to know where she is or who she's with, which I explain is entirely her doing for breaking the trust.
Before this the reason was her "not feeling safe" which she feels safe with me now..
What am I dealing with here? I've been very kind to this woman, I've spent thousands on her, I've excused bad behavior, I've treated her like a queen. She won't let me go, but she won't be with me, and now she's suito cheating
There's lots of details outside of just this, but it feels like I'm in a catch 22 nothing will make this woman see reason and she tends to blame me for everything..
Is she a narcissistic person? What is this

We’re all complex creatures, at least I believe most of us are. There are different sides to each one of us. Some sides and some issues can be forgivable. Others shouldn’t. No matter how much you think that they can do better. Especially when they have shown over and over again that it’s a bigger issue that no one should put themselves through.
Love and stubbornness isn’t the only thing that should hold it together.
Is that side getting better? Maybe. But I can’t trust it right now. Nor should I. That trauma is still rooted there.
There’s a lot you don’t know and I can’t burden you with this. It’s not easy.
I know now how far my limits can be stretched. The bear in me will not allow any further stretching.

So I was coming off heroin in detox may I note this is the first time this ever happened to me . I was getting ready for bed and I was in the master bedroom with other women . I go to sleep and I begin to see my grandmother who had passed away and she was hovering over me and placed her hands on me . I then notice why . There was something wrong I couldn’t move and I couldn’t even talk or call out for help . I felt such a heavy presence that my grandmother was fighting off of me . She looked a lot younger and said “ It will be okay just breathe Jackie have faith and it will go away, I will handle it” Then I was finally able to open my eyes . I was still unable to move and I was so scared I was going to die . My heart is racing and finally when a tech came to check on us and I saw the light I got up and told them. I came to learn that a woman with anorexia had died in that room possibly in the same bed I laid in . I suffered from anorexia to .so I asked to be moved up stairs . It happened one more time before I was moved . When I moved upstairs I could still feel a I uneasy presence something was lurking i could hear it and feel it by my feet . I finished my detox and was moved to their farm mansion that was said that it was haunted by workers and patients. I get put in the room with one of my friends in treatment there . It belonged to a kid or two . Every night I felt like I was being watched and that something was going to hurt me . I was so scared . I was stuck on my back unable to breathe properly and paralyzed with the feeling something or someone didn’t want me there. I couldn’t do anything . It felt like there was evil draining me of all my life . This happened for a week or two every night I’d hope my grandmother would save me again and she never came. I told the techs to please move me downstairs where I’m in eyes reach of their help and that I was in fear I would die in my sleep . Same week we see small foot prints in the kitchen on the seats , wall by window and on the ceiling . No matter how much it was cleaned it always came back like a blood stain or dirty grease feet . I didn’t have this happen again in my sleep while I was in light near the tech . I was in fear of my life . In that part of my life I was a satanist and I welcomed all . This entity or whatever was out for blood . I felt it and I still feel it today . I have no idea what I welcomed into me . It then followed me to our group building an hour away . I call asleep but I was awakened but I was not able to move talk or even breathe right . Everyone was frantic . The supervisor tried pouring water in my mouth and I couldn’t move so it soaked me my eyes were open and my breathing started to get weak . I was panicking and I couldn’t talk breathe or even move . I just see everyone freaking out like I had overdosed and died . The supervisor and facilitator picked my limp body up and laid me down in the therapist office until the ambulance came . I begin to tear up and I’m fighting for my life I start freaking out . Like this is it I’m going to die . I accept my fate but then I started to breathe again and I could see better bc earlier my vision gradually went black as I was watching everyone flip out . My vision started gradually coming back to light to fuzzy and then normal my hearing was no longer muffled . I finally gasped for air when the ambulance got there while they were trying to examine me . They were about to narcan me like I had overdosed. I’ve not done any drugs I was in treatment. They take me to the hospital and on my way out I felt a sense of relief . I felt like whatever got me was gone for now . They do CT scans and alot of testing . I asked them was it sleep paralysis? They said no and that the activity in my brain was normal . I demanded answers bc i felt great fear for my life if I were to go back there and sleep there. I felt like this thing was going to devour me the next time it happened. I get back there and give the papers to the supervisor and he was baffled. They then a few days later they move me back into the room I refused until I couldn’t . They had someone on suicide watch and I began to panic bc now I’m forced to be in that room and it happened again . I told them and they let me come back down the next morning . When I decided to leave AMA and go elsewhere it stopped and I never had that issue again . This only happened once in the past that was also very terrifying aswell. I saw a demon hex me that time. During this time I had at this place I also heard voices ,saw things, and felt physical and spiritual torment . Being a satanist brings and allows anything to follow or enter you as their vessel even when you know nothing of it .

Period: 1106.85 days

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To preface, this is a throwaway. I will not be mentioning any personal information of individuals for privacy concerns. This is going to be a bit long, so if you're okay with that please continue. This is also going to be a bit out of the place.
I have been babysitting a boy (9) and a girl (6), both in elementary school, for around 8 months now. I started doing babysitting several months prior to that as a part time job while I'm in college for extra cash.
Prior to my first encounter with him, I was informed that the child displays traits of autism and is currently on medication for another condition, which gives him a side effect of aggression. When I first heard of this, it was out of my expertise and I was nervous in dealing with the situation. I wanted to turn it down, but I accepted it and tried it out.
Despite the initial panic, I was much calmer when I realized I was dealing with taking care of his younger sister for a few months, far before I started taking care of both of them. The sister is sweet, kind, and very spunky. She's basically a sweetheart who likes to give hugs when you pick her up and when you leave. Everyday, I come and get her first and she always comes with a smile and tells me what she did in class, and how she was. She smiles and is very very outgoing, loves coloring, and always wants to spend time with me.
The older one, the boy, is sweet, but complicated. He has particular fixations on certain things, some are cool (like planets) and the other things are a bit concerning (I'll mention that later). He's a high-functioning autistic child, but he struggles at making friendships and maintaining a positive and outgoing demeanor. He can be very kind and very open, but when he's upset, it gets a bit difficult for him to relax. He can become frustrated quite quickly, saying he hates his sister, punching her and hitting her, before he goes back to playing.
So, I began picking up on certain behaviors that I would argue weren't typically healthy for a child his age.
He picked up on a lot of "death" and "killing" scenes. Some time ago, he asked me what animals kill their newborns. He likes horror games, and he's talked about death towards other people and things.
Secondly, he plays Roblox. Naturally, he picks up on words and languages that aren't usually age appropriate. Their father lets them watch TikTok, which.. is questionable given that they're underage and there's a lot of explicit scenes that they could pick up from that.
When I first met him, he didn't swear, but recently, he's began cursing and saying "f*ck". He would tell his parents to go "f*ck" themselves when he's upset, or when he gets upset with her he screams at her. He swears excessively and I've asked him to stop using that language, but it's difficult for me to get my words to him. His parents say the same thing. And I get it, it is difficult to swerve him away from the use of words like that, especially when he's a child. But it gets concerning to when he's screaming it to his sister saying he "f*cking knows" that there's a leaf on his pants. So she walks away. She's practically used to his outbursts. She gets upset in some instances, but when it's between his parents she acts as if his constant outbursts are normal.
He also academically struggles, and can get frustrated when he has to do homework consecutively. His parents sit down with him to do the work. He gets frustrated quickly and cannot sit for long periods to do work because it overstimulates him. To counter this, in the case that he was assigned homework, I would give him breaks and make him come back to do some work. It worked perfectly; he wouldn't get upset, he wouldn't react, and even though getting his attention was quite difficult, he was fine doing it that way.
Reiterating his academic struggles, he attends a public school and has been held back in the second grade and may be pushed back again because he does not meet academic standards for his grade. Grades are scored out of 4 for elementary school students, so if you earn a 1-2 you're struggling. Grades are determined by english and math scores, as well as for the students' ability to work with others. He has received 1-2's in these areas. To my knowledge, I have not been to school with him and I am not aware of his school behavior, only of his home behavior, or his behavior around me.
His parents do not discipline him except for "___ don't do this" "___ listen to Mommy", because it's difficult to discipline a child who is autistic. He does not know how to apologize when he hurts someone and he does not necessarily understand people's feelings apart from his. So, he reacts without thinking. It's understandable, and I am not shaming him, but I know these behaviors can be integrated with proper learning.
This past Thursday, I went to go look after him while his mother went to a meeting. He was on a field trip for his class and other classes to a nearby park, and I was supposed to look after him for 2 hours. I get to the park to meet his mom, and I see him on top of one of the structures eating his lunch. When he finally notices me, he comes down after finishing, telling me he wants to go play with the bubbles. So I go with him. There's other kids and classmates around him, running around making large bubbles to chase with.
The soap buckets have ropes in them that the kids can play with. Multiple kids gathered around it to blow gigantic bubbles so that they could chase them. He was one of those kids. Some girls would ask for their turn and switch, and the boys did the same. When he asked for a turn, the girls gave him the rope so he could play with it.
The problem first came when one of the girls asked if she could use it, but he was very fixated on trying to make the bubbles work, so he would move away when the girl politely asked if she could use it. One of the girls suggested he slowly mix it so he could blow the bubbles, but this is where he got upset. He swore, then kicked the bucket before throwing the rope to the other side of where I was standing. One of the girls went to try to go get it before he did, but he ran after it. She picked it up first, and he screamed loudly, running to the girl to try to punch her and push her down, before his overseer came and separated them. The girl started crying because while he was busy trying to get the ropes out of her hand, the soap flung into her eye. This made us return to the school, where he had to write an apology. I was quite shaken up by the situation, but I returned to school with him and took him home.
He has had persistent outbursts. In one instance he gripped his sisters arm extremely tight forcefully for playing a different mode of a game. He's punched her for playing by herself because he would ruin the way she wanted to play. He's pushed her down on the sidewalk. He's tried to attack her several times, before I had to separate them. And, as I was waiting in the office for him, the clerk waiting in the front asked me how he was like at to which I stated "pretty calm" (since in fact, he does not get upset at me nor does he hit me). But when I asked "how is he like at school?", the clerk said something along the lines of "he's forced a boy to do the splits" and "he's punched several kids".
The youngest one gets upset at him for doing things, like ruining her lego sets and saying things that she doesn't like. She has her moments too, but those are mostly a reaction to his words and his actions.
So, my feelings to this are complicated. When he's with me, he is not upset. Actually, I can recall two times in which he was frustrated, but he has never raised his voice nor screamed at me. But since it's not just me and him, but his sister as well, he reacts and gets upset at her when she does something. He's very prone to anger, so much so that I become a bit nervous when he's having an outburst. My heart races a bit.
I also don't have any experience to working with autistic children in exception to him, but nonetheless, I am calm and always do my best to give happy and positive experiences towards him. I always try to make him smile, tell him stories and play with him. My intuition is telling me that his environment is overstimulating. He has a hard time forming friendships to begin with, so this makes his school life very complicating and challenging because he acts withouts thinking.
But my clear feeling is that, if this behavior continues, he may become more reactive. He will be much more aggressive, brute, and scarier. His sister, who forgives him and still plays with him, may be more afraid of his behavior as he gets older. I am not asking for advice, but I am worried about this behavior because it's.. quite scary that he picks up on this. He doesn't even feel bad when he hurts his sister sometimes, because she'll be crying and he'll be laughing. It's hard watching it. I love both kids, but I'm uncertain what he'll be. Yes he's 9, but he'll grow.
I feel so bad about writing this, I can't even bring this up to the mother. I never told her. I'd feel like I'm telling her how to raise her own child and it's not my part nor my place to tell her how to raise him. I do my best. The reason I'm not telling this from how he treats me is because he's fine when it comes to me, but I'm concerned for his peers. They experience a lot of harassment from him, and yes, I understand, he's autistic. But I know that these behaviors can be changed. I'm researching ways to deal with this, but please feel free to offer your input.

When i was younger i was easily picked on. Today i was reminded of that feeling and all the built up emotions over the years and what felt like something i moved on from came crashing down.
I hate feeling like I’m bothering people in public. What i thought was a simple question made me feel like a fucking idiot. “Are you in line?” I asked in a low voice. My boyfriend and i just arrived at this restaurant and both him and i being so hungry, we wanted to keep our options open to other restaurants.
The stranger in front of me replied in a defensive tone as if i was dumb. In the moment i felt like everybody just paused and everything became quiet. I felt like everybody were looking at me, either waiting for me to reply or thinking in their own head how dumb i was to even ask him such a question. Even my boyfriend sat quiet not knowing what to do.
What some people would just think in the moment, “oh he’s an asshole” became a moment of pent up anxiety. I tried my best to hold my tears in but the more i zoned out the more anxious i got. My head just blasted thoughts at me and every moment i interacted with a worker i felt i was being a nuisance. When we finally got seated i couldn’t hold it in and finally cried. My lips were shaking and i felt like i was gonna throw up. My bf reassured me
I don’t normally go out to avoid situations like this but it’s so hard not to think back at times like this. Social situations make me so uneasy.
Maybe I’m just too sensitive. This isn’t something a normal person would get upset at. I just feel like i get hurt so easily.

Hey, been considering getting the Fortnite Platinum recently, and I have a question about getting it.
For context, I have played the PS4 version of the game and gotten all the campaign trophies, but none of the grind ones. When I got my PS5 and downloaded the PS5 version it transferred all my trophies except for the "All Together Now" one.
Now for the remaining trophies, should I get them on the PS4 or PS5? As I have heard that the PS5 version is glitched, and I don't want to spend time grinding it all for it not to work.
Thanks for the help in advance! I appreciate it.

Reading posts and comments on this sub I often feel like bad habits are mentioned a lot. Chart watching and gambling on moonshots in particular. However, every now and then there is a positive comment on how crypto has helped someone kick a bad habit. This mostly centers around kicking an expensive unhealthy habit to have more fiat for DCA-ing. Examples I've seen on here, or have heard of, are:
-Less money spent on eating out / fast food -Quiting smoking -Getting off drugs -Quitting gambling on shady rigged betting websites / bookies. -Alcohol -Fewer nights out passing fiat up a wall
All of the above habit are ridiculously expensive, robbing one of hundreds/thousands of dollars worth of DCA money each month.
The quiting smoking one is particularly noteworthy. Would be interesting for a MSc / PhD student to conduct a study if this emergent incentive mechanism is outperforming those designed by governments to try to get people to quit.
The same thing holds for gambling. This is a habit that robs people of massive amounts of fiat, and, if not kept in check, can ruin lives and families, etc. With respect to crypto replacing gambling habits, I'm talking about healthy crypto habits, so to clarify, DCA-ing into blue chips or well established alts. Not replacing one gambling habit with another (leverage trading and moonshots, i.e., "this is a casino" behaviour).
In addition to kicking bad habits, crypto has taught me a lot about investments in general, and I'm definitely better with my personal finances as a result.
Anyway, what are your experiences? What unhealthy habits have you managed to put aside thanks to the incentive of obtaining more crypto? And what good habits have you managed to establish (Beside buying high and selling low.... )? For those whonhave managed this, what would your advice be to others who are considering this step?

Why I'm posting this
I sat in the RAINN online chat session waiting room for ~1.5 hrs and as I stared at my screen looking at the number of visitors ahead of me dwindle to (1), I suddenly wanted to exit the window and forget it again. Push it away and not dwell or analyze or pick apart. But I knew by now that if I did just push it away, I'd spend the next week thinking about not thinking about it so I stayed in the waiting room window as the number changed to a status change: I was directly next. I waited ~30 mins more, wiggling my mouse and making sure I didn't accidentally click anything. Then it froze and I was presented with an error message, alerting me to a connection issue and apologizing for the inconvenience and to just rejoin the waiting room. There were 24 people ahead of me. I just cried.
Now, I'm sitting here again staring at my computer screen and feeling defeated. I've never been one to share vulnerabilities or stories where I might even potentially be thought of as a victim or damsel in distress or unable to handle herself out in the world. My mom worries enough about me for the both of us. But I can't keep trying to convince myself that what happened happened and I should probably get STI tested. It's been the recommended 2 week wait period.
I'm sorry this is long and in some parts graphic\*, angry, and confused. And I'm sorry if this isn't the right forum, please let me know if I've messed up, and with that I'd like to present my case to myself to maybe hopefully convince myself that he was right when he said "I feel a bit rapey".
*This will be graphic because the details are so important to me**, however I want to emphasize that no one should continue to read if they begin to or believe they may be triggered by it. Your peace is too important, please protect it as best you can.** I don't "need" external validation of the story (though I can't say it wouldn't hurt? Idk) but to see it spelled out and slapped in my face for me to accept it I guess.
Before
He was the guy who lived downstairs, was friends with my roommate and played in a small makeshift band together on Friday nights (and I was lucky enough to get a front row seat to one of their performances), was roommates with another guy who had asked me if I wanted to be FWB with him at the bar the semester before everything happened (edit: I had laughed at the time and only added him on snap, but never pursued anything and neither did he). We saw each other at the gym and would acknowledge each other sometimes and other times we would carry on as if having no clue who the other was.
It was the weekend of graduation and I went out with my friend and her group of friends to the bar to celebrate. I'm not a big drinker and I had (2) drinks, one was a double and one was a single, and (1) shot of what I'm pretty sure was vodka. At the end of the night, while my friend was corralling her friends to get to the Uber, I was lightly hit on my shoulder and he was standing there. I smiled, giving him a hug when he suddenly held onto my waist and whispered that he'd always found me attractive, especially at the gym but never wanted to approach there because it was inappropriate (oh how inappropriate you'd later make the night) but now at the bar you felt emboldened by the atmosphere and alcohol to plant a kiss on my lips while holding me in my place. I remember my initial reaction was to push away, but I didn't because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Why? I wish I would've. Somehow you'd talked yourself and me into leaving the bar with us and I remember hoping my friend would say no that the Uber was only for us or something. But that's unfair to expect her to read my mind, I'm a big girl with my own voice, right? Why couldn't I use it? I remember hiding under the bar table when I told him I was going to the bathroom before leaving. Why couldn't I just speak up?
During\*
(Reiterating it, and I cannot stress this enough, please protect your peace first and foremost as best as you can)
I was so tired and sleepy. Those are the two words that I said over and over and over.
"I'm just really tired"
"I'm just really sleepy"
"I just wanna go to bed"
"Please let me sleep"
I was on my back, laying on the left side of my bed with my jeans still on with my shoelace makeshift belt still tied tightly because my pants were a bit too big. And then I wasn't wearing pants, or underwear, and neither was he. I remember repeatedly closing my eyes and my legs and he would just.. grab my calf and open my legs. Over and over. But all I said was I'm so tired.
I remember feeling his skin against mine and how sweaty and hot it was and how I thought about when in other situations (consensual ones I suppose is the word) I liked that part of the act, but I suddenly couldn't stand it then. I remember his sweat dripping off his brow ridge, down his nose, and onto my cheek. That's when I'd closed my eyes again and turned my head into the pillow by now because closing my eyes wasn't enough to block out the shadow of his body over me created by the stupid LED lights I turned on.
There's a specific moment in this event where he was leaning over me and I had turned my head into my pillow. Using his index and thumb he moved my head using my chin and said, "Look and me, you gotta talk to me. I'm starting to feel a bit rapey."
I said, "I'm just tired." And I kept wondering why that wasn't enough and why I couldn't just say stop, no I don't want this. I still wonder that (I know the real trauma-based reason, but the whole executing it in practice is much harder).
He finished four times. I never moved.
After
Somehow he got my number from my roommate and he texted me the next day. I deliberately chose to overlook the previous night as a drunk mistake and it wasn't anything serious or bad and I was overreacting and he was worth getting to know. It quickly turned into him asking to come over that night - me replying I was tired and needed to shower still and eat dinner and so on (never quite having the ability to say the easiest word in the English language: NO). I told him I wanted to hangout again but on a different day and I was just sleepy. I hate that word now.
But, then he texted three back-to-back-to-back messages saying I was being indecisive so he was taking matters into his own hands and deciding for the both of us and he'd be upstairs in 10 minutes. I just started crying and for the FIRST FUCKING TIME I SAID NO. I immediately said No I Don't Want That. And for 10 minutes he didn't respond and I cried holding a metal bat my mom had given me when I first moved to college.
He didn't come upstairs and he said "Fine but another night ok?" And I avoided the gym for three weeks until he moved out. I watched him pack the U-Haul from behind a tree coming back from a walk around the block, he was specifically moving his mattress in a white tank top and black shorts. And I thought, "huh he's not bad looking" and immediately bolted to my apartment hoping he didn't see me.
Now
I promise I'll end this post, and I'm sorry it's so long. But, I'm sad and processing and writing a novel is the new, free therapy (just ask Jeanette McCurdy!). Anyway, I think looking at everything and just thinking about it and what I didn't explicitly repeat in the post has convinced the inner critic that getting STI tested is the smart thing to do, especially because he didn't use a condom, even if I literally had got tested the Thursday before so it was like a waste of me getting tested I should've just waited until after that weekend to get tested I guess.
The other issue I think I had with this whole event was that I did find him attractive (taking out the behavior) so being confronted with this by someone who I would have willingly and (probably) sober-me would've happily hookedup with had the previous night not happened. Why is it harder to call an assault by someone I find/found attractive what it actually is? Because I blame myself because if I had just said yes then I wouldn't be dealing with all these thoughts? I know that's not right, but is it? Do you see the dilemma?
That's it, folks. I'll schedule my appointment tomorrow (I tell myself that now, but who knows when I'll actually do it - probably when I'm fed up with thinking I have some rare STI even though I have no symptoms of anything Idk). <3

Hello all! This week we were reading Book 1 of the Library of Greek Mythology by Apollodorus (or Pseudo-Apollodorus if we want to be technical). It focuses on the Gods and the lineage of Deucalion.
Next week, we will be reading Book 2 which focuses on the lineage of Inachos!
I'm going to do things a little differently, since the Library of Greek Myths is similar to the Bible in that it's heavily focused on both genealogy and packs an enormous amount into a small amount of pages, so running through the plot like I would have before doesn't make sense.
Looking at it from a high level, the Library of Greek Mythology starts with the birth of the Universe and goes all the way to Medea's life post-Jason.
First, we focus on the gods and the original birth of the Gods starting with Ouranos and his consort Ge. Together, they gave birth to incredible creatures including Briareos, Gyes, and Cottos (who were huge and powerful, each having a hundred hands and fifty heads); the Cyclopes who each had a single eye on their forehead; and the Titans including Oceanos, Cronos, Hyperion, Rhea, and Mnemosyne among others. Ouranos didn't like the Cyclopes and bound them, throwing them into Tartaros.
Ge, angry at the treatment of her children, works to overthrown her husband with Cronos and the Titans. They cut of Ouranos' genitals with a sickle and from his blood the furies are born (Alecto, Tisiphone, and Megaira).
Cronos rules now and marries Rhea. He once again binds the Cyclopes below in Tartaros along with the Briareos, Gyes, and Cottos. Since he knows there is a prophecy that he will be overthrown by his own child, he swallows them all soon after their birth, but Rhea grows tired of her children being swallowed and when Zeus is born, gives Cronos a stone to swallow.
Zeus grows up and with the help of Oceanus, forces Cronos to throw up his siblings. Then, he wages war on the Titans along with the Cycloes and all who were trapped below. Once the war is over, they draw lots. Zeus has dominion over the sky, Poseidon the seas and Pluto the power over the underworld.
The gods were VERY fertile and had a lot of divine offspring. Some notable ones include Hephaistos whom Hera had without sexual intercourse (and who Zeus literally threw out of Olympus which is why Hephaistos has a limp); Athena, whom Zeus tried to prevent from being born by swallowing her mother, Metis, and who spr ung fully formed from the top of Zeus' head after he was struck with an ax.
Book 1 also covers Prometheus and the creation of humans. Prometheus was the god who created humans by making us out of water and earth. He stole fire from the gods and gave it to us as well. Zeus was furious and nailed Prometheus to a mountain. Every day an eagle would fly down and eat his liver. Every night the liver would grow back.
Deucalion was Prometheus' son and he saved himself from drowning when Zeus flooded the Earth. All original humans were killed aside from a few who were on top of mountains. Deucalion was given a reward for sacrificing to the gods and he chose people. Zeus had Deucalion throw rocks which became men. His wife, Pyrrha threw rocks, which became women.
From here, we go through a long series of lineages and stories which are too numerous to sum up here, but lead us all the way back to Jason and the Argonauts as well as Medea.
If you haven't read this one, I highly recommend it! Or if you want an easier reading of this, Mythos by Stephen Fry covers the beginning with the Gods wonderfully.

Trigger Warning and Sensitive Info Ahead.
My dad has been through two traumatic car accidents in his lifetime. He lost his leg in one accident when he was 19. The other he suffered a head injury when he was 35 years old.
After his head injury his whole personality changed. He became a different person. He stopped grooming himself (stopped cutting his hair and grew his beard out, stopped brushing his teeth, and has lost several teeth), he started dressing differently and he even began a second life and when I turned 17 he left my mom for his mistress.
Flash forward to now he’s 55 years old and he has become a conspiracy theorist fanatic (lizard people, chem trials type stuff), racist, sexist, he’s an alcoholic and is high (from weed) everyday multiple times a day. His girlfriend is the same way and even promotes his behavior.
Whenever we are out in public my dad goes on long winded tangents of random racist, sexist, homophobic or conspiracy theory crap that drives me insane. It’s hard to predict when he will say these type of remarks and it doesn’t help that he’s loud when he says them. My brother and I have learned to redirect the conversation but this has gotten tiring and stressful over the years. I have put multiple boundaries down where I told him to stop saying these crazy, sexist, racist comments because I don’t agree with them and I told him if he continued to say theses comments I will never talk to him again. He literally started crying when I told him to stop. Eventually he apologized and stopped doing it… for only a little while.
But his mental health has gotten worse. Today I visited him and it went well. He offered to buy me coffee for the long drive home. But as soon as we sat down in the coffee shop he said something incredibly racist and loudly. I was so upset and embarrassed by it. I’m pretty sure that workers and one other customer heard him. I disagreed with his statements then redirected the conversation to something else.
My brother and I concerned that his mental health is getting worse and his girlfriend is promoting his behavior. I don’t know what to do. Although my dad is pretty messed up. I only have one. I know cutting him out of my life is an option and most people tell me to do it but it’s hard. I am Hispanic and we highly value our family. But I don’t think I can take it anymore. In the world of social media I’m afraid people will record his comments or when he says them randomly and think I agree with him. I don’t I hate everything that comes out his mouth and whenever I put a boundary down he literally cries about it. I am always on edge whenever we are out in public. I try my best to not be out in public with him as much as possible.
Another concern is he’s getting to the point of paranoia that if a car he doesn’t recognize passes by his house. He assumes they are going to rob him (no one has ever robbed him).
What can I do? I don’t have any proof that he is a threat to his own safety. He says some pretty hateful/ discriminatory comments about others but I can’t prove he’s a threat to others. I put boundaries down and he holds them for a little bit then goes back to his old ways. I’m afraid my reputation will be tarnished from his horrible comments.

For some background I have a closed account with synchrony bank that was charged off in early 2022. The total debt owed is $4200. I was contacted by Client services Inc. around 6 months ago and recently by Monarch Recovery Management. I went online through Monarch’s online portal and I can settle for around $1600 over 6 months. On Experian it shows that I have no accounts in collections as of 04/23 but it does show the closed synchrony account with the $4200 balance. My credit score is sitting around 524 on Experian and it’s holding me back from getting approved for a car loan. Any advice on what steps I should take are appreciated.

From my travel report (2014):
The second trip to Madeira we made to escape the winter The weather was like a moody diva in winter. It changes not only from day to day, but also within a few hours. So you can never plan anything for the next day, because you should not think, today it is so nice and sunny and warm, it will be the same tomorrow. But if you are unlucky, the next morning it will be completely cloudy, only to possibly be sunny again in the afternoon.
It is always a pleasure to stroll in FUNCHAL's old town. Here times an ice cream to eat, there a coffee possibly with Nata to take. But this should be done when there are no cruise ships in the harbor. Then you see fortunately more locals than tourists in the streets.
For football fans: Christiano Ronaldo, who comes from Madeira, now has his own museum in Funchal - eagerly visited by his - mostly young - supporters...
Funchal is spreading out more and more - the slopes all around are already built on, and in the hotel zone construction continues eagerly. Although it is obvious that in the newly built apartment houses still very many apartments are empty.
The first two weeks we booked apartment at about 350 m altitude with a beautiful view of Funchal. The disadvantage was that it became - especially in the evening - but quite cool. Fortunately we had not only an electric heater but also a fireplace in the apartment.
From up here you can see how Funchal has grown in recent years. It is a huge sea of houses, which goes up to all the adjacent hills.
For the second part of our stay we had chosen an apartment house at Praia do Formosa with direct view to the sea and also to Cabo Girao.
One of the most beautiful and varied gardens of Madeira is located only about 9 km east of Funchal: the Palheiro or Blandy's Gardens. In 1801, the property was purchased by Count Carvalhal. A hunting lodge was built and the count had exotic trees imported from all over the world. The count's descendants squandered the fortune, and so in 1885 the estate became the property of the Blandy family of wine merchants. The villa above the garden is still inhabited by the Blandy family and is not accessible.
The gardens are famous not only for the variety of (often exotic) plants but also for their location on a 500 m high hill with a magnificent view of the bay of Funchal. The Count's hunting lodge was renovated in 1997 and is now the exclusive hotel "Quinta Velha do Palheiro".
The gardens are divided into the main garden, the sunken garden, the valley of hell (Inferno) with mighty fern trees, the rose garden, the ladies garden and the tea house area. There are also ponds with water lilies and beautiful flower beds.
Some of the numerous trees are 100 years old. The garden has been constantly developed. Hibiscus, bougainvilleas, jacaranda, African tulip trees, coral trees and orchid trees grow here. The Blandy family imported proteas from South Africa and had a rose garden planted and a small baroque chapel built. The gardens are also famous for their numerous camellias and magnolias.
The orchid garden, created by an Austrian, apparently has more than 5000 plants and is located below the botanical garden. At the moment the orchid garden is closed, because in the big fire of 2016 in Funchal not only many houses were destroyed, but also great damage was done to the orchid garden.
Carnival is also celebrated in Madeira and by chance we saw a children's parade. It was interesting to see with which eagerness the children were partly "there". Therefore, there will probably be no problem with carnivalistic offspring in Funchal.
The town of RIBEIRA BRAVA is located at the mouth of a wide - sometimes wild (brava) river (ribeira). From Funchal there is a highway to get there. In Ribeira Brava there is a wide pebble beach, and on the other side of the promenade there are cafes and restaurants. In the historic center there are small stores, and here is also the pink town hall from the late 18th century
The Igreja de Sao Bento was built as early as 1440, but was given a new look during the Baroque period. The spire with the white-blue tile pattern and the sphere symbol of the Portuguese explorers is striking.
We still drove to Punta do Sol. This place lies between two high rocky capes. In the old core there are only a few houses and the church, behind it already begin the terraced banana fields. There is a pebble beach and on the promenade you can have a drink in small cafes. Except for us, there were hardly any tourists in the village. But here we drank the best poncha on the island. Poncha (made of honey, lemon juice and sugar cane brandy) is a kind of national drink on Madeira.
the village of Camara de Lobos - situated between two rocky cliffs - is only 9 km away from Funchal.
Camara de Lobos is still a typical fishing village with the many colorful boats (xavelhas) that you can admire in the small harbor. A small church was built at the harbor early on, this was remodeled in 1420 and the current Capella Nossa Senhora de Conceicao was built.
There is still fishing and some boat building in Camara de Lobos. However, these are no longer particularly lucrative, so tourism is now a larger source of income.
The fishermen in this area mainly catch the black scabbardfish (Espada), which is offered in many restaurants - also in Funchal.
There is a promenade path from the Lido in Funchal to Camara de Lobos since 2011. The path - always with a view of Cabo Girao - is partly concreted and partly laid out on wooden walkways. If you walk in the direction of Camara de Lobos, you can see the approaching waves of the Atlantic Ocean on the left and the partly high cliffs on the right.
Not far behind Praia de Formosa there are some beach bars or restaurants where you can have a drink or eat quite well.
Cabo Girao near Camara de Lobos is one of the highest cliffs in the world. More than 500 m the land here falls almost vertically into the sea. Since our last visit, things had changed here, there was now a large parking lot. Then the cafes and souvenir stores were also new for us. And surprising for us was also the glass viewing platform, which exists since the end of 2012. Here you can see that wine and vegetables are grown on the small rocky outcrops. The farmers can reach their fields on the coastal fringe with a cable car. Before the cable car was built, these fields were only accessible by boat.
From Funchal it was not far to CANICO. The original village became in the course of time one of the most important tourist places on Madeira. Large hotel complexes, apartment buildings and villas were built. However, we turned off before we reached the town in order to get to Ponta do Garajau. There on a rock cliff is the 14 m high Christo Rei statue, which was erected in 1927. From here you have a beautiful view of Funchal. Since 2007, there is a cable car nearby that goes 200 m down to the pebble beach.
CURRAL DAS FREIRAS is a small village nestled between huge almost vertical mountain slopes in the heart of Madeira. There is only one road that leads serpentine to the 633 m high valley. Originally the valley was inhabited by nomads and shepherds. Towards the end of the 15th century, the land became the property of the nuns of the Santa Clara convent.
The name Curral das Freiras means "pen of the nuns". In the 16th and 17th centuries, the island was repeatedly attacked by pirates, and the nuns retreated here to the protection of the mountains, which are up to 700 meters high.
Here people still live from what they grow themselves on their fertile fields. One of the specialties of the village is chestnuts. They are used to make liqueur, cakes, bread and soups, which are also sold to tourists. On November 1 of each year, the Chestnut Festival is held here.
Not many tourists come to SANTA CRUZ, although this place is certainly worth a visit. There is quite a pretty old town with the church of San Salvador built in 1533 as well as like a large modern market hall just behind the long gray pebble beach lined with date palms.
Just north of Santa Cruz is Madeira Island's airport, renamed "Cristiano Ronaldo" Airport in 2007. Opened in 1964 and reconstructed in 2000, this airport is one of the most dangerous in the world. The 2777 m long runway is built on the rocky coast above the water and looks like a bridge with large concrete supports. A large parking lot has been built below this runway.
Before the landing approach, the mountain massif must be overcome so that the narrow runway can be approached. Unfortunately, there have been numerous accidents, but this is still one of the busiest airports in Portugal.
From Santa Cruz we drove to MACHICO, one of the larger towns of Madeira. Machico profited from sugar cane cultivation in the 15th century and is now a modern town, which is divided into two halves by the Ribeira da Machico. On the eastern bank of the river is the historic fishing quarter with the main square surrounded by tall laurel trees.
The town church of Nossa Senhora da Conceicao in the center was built in the 15th century and partially rebuilt in the 18th century. Opposite stands the town hall built in the early 20th century There are several fish restaurants here.
In the surroundings of the small village FAIAL there is still a lot of agriculture, e.g. wine and fruit growing. The village is dominated by the 600 m high Eagle Rock. Only a few tourists come here, because there is hardly anything worth seeing.
Most people come to Santana to see the famous "Casas de colmo". In total there are still about a hundred of these thatched historic wooden houses. They are very scattered throughout the municipality.
On the way back to Funchal we passed through Ribera fria. Here you can take a short hike up to the Miradouro dos Balcoes, from where you have a beautiful view of the mountains.
The peninsula PONTA DE SAO LOURENCO is 9 km long and 2 km wide. In 1982 it was declared a nature reserve, mainly to ensure the preservation of the fauna with the great variety of birds and the great occurrence of the native flora. The eastern tip of Madeira is barren and windy. One can no longer imagine that everything here was lushly forested.
Then, in spring, a carpet of flowers enlivens the bare hilltops. But also in other seasons the turquoise sea and the rocks in different shades - ocher, rust, gray and green-black - bring color to the area.
The south coast can be easily approached by boats, which is almost impossible on the drastically shaped north coast with its strong winds. There is a paved access road to the parking lot above Baia de Abra. Here you can also take the public bus.
From there there is a popular rocky hiking trail. This hike is absolutely not a walk. There are some climbs, often wooden stairs. You have no shade and are exposed to gusts of wind. To avoid being blown down somewhere, I ducked down and waited out the sometimes strong gusts - really quite extreme.
At the narrowest point with a land bridge only a few meters wide, the rock drops almost 100 m vertically - fortunately the place is secured with a fence.
The hike takes - depending on your condition - 2 to 3 hours. It also depends on whether you only walk to the plateau of Casa Sardinha - administration of the national park - or if you want to make the ascent to Pico Furado. Below the Casa there are some tables for picnics. From there there is also an entrance for swimming, which can certainly be pleasant in the summer.
On the way there are always beautiful views of the sea and the rock formations - e.g. the so-called rock gate. On the south side you can see the cages of a fish farm in the sea.
In front of Sao Lourenco there are two small islands, on one of them stands the oldest (from 1870) lighthouse of Madeira.
From the cape we drove to CANICAL, the easternmost municipality of Madeira. This place is still characterized by fishing and boat building. Fishing boats are still built here and there is a large repair yard.
Over the 1000 m high Encumeada Pass we drove northeast to Sao Vicente. Unfortunately the old coastal road to Seixal and Porto Moniz was closed and we had to drive through many tunnels. A few years ago it was a special experience to drive on the narrow and winding ER 101 directly at the coast - on one side the high cliffs and on the other side the sea. But apparently the road has become too dangerous in the meantime because of constant falling rocks.
We got to Porto Moniz , and unfortunately the weather got worse, more and more clouds came up. The sea raged with huge waves to the shore.
Porto Moniz is a nice little town located on the northwestern tip of Madeira, a region with high mountains and views of the endless Atlantic Ocean.
Day-trippers mostly come for the lava pools filled with sea water. But from Porto Moniz you can also go hiking, for example on the coastal trail "Levada da Ribeira da Janela", one of the best hiking trails in Madeira.
Porto Moniz is known for its volcanic pools. These pools owe their formation to a lava tongue that flowed into the sea here thousands of years ago, creating caves due to the force of wind and waves. The black basalt lava pools form swimming pools and are the attraction of Porto Moniz, because you can swim (swim) in them very well - at least in good weather...
There are two different lava pools in Porto Moniz: the completely natural pools and the western pools, which have been transformed into natural outdoor pools - there are no sharp rocks here. The surrounding rocks of the outdoor pool were built as a terrace , and here you can sunbathe. The pools are open every day - even in winter. But when we were there, there was no one in the water....
The natural pools are not safe because of the black sharp basalt rocks.
It is very interesting to watch the waves as they crash against the rocks. The water is sometimes whirled into the air in such a way that it looks like a geyser.
The PICO DE ARIEIRO is the most visited mountain of Madeira, because it is the only one that has been opened up with a road, but it is only the third highest. The road was probably built primarily for the observatory and not necessarily for the tourists. Already the approach through pristine landscape with rugged rock and sparse vegetation is an experience.
If the weather is good, you have a breathtaking view all around. Equally beautiful, however, is the sight of white cushions of clouds hanging between the high mountains. In winter there can be ice and snow on the peaks. Since it had snowed on Madeira about 2 weeks before our trip there, we could still see the sparse remnants on the shaded layers.
From Pico de Arieiro you can hike up to Pico Ruivo (1861 m) if the weather is good. At the beginning, the path is quite wide and in places secured by railings. Some then walk at least to the first viewpoint - the rocky peak Niho de Mata with beautiful views. The entire hike up to Pico Ruivo is clearly difficult, even if there are partially secured stairways since the 1960s. Some of the paths are steep up to 700 m, the rock steps are high, the paths are sometimes narrow and beaten, and it also goes through unlit tunnels. So you should have a good condition and be free from giddiness and sure-footed.

i went to a hair salon a couple days ago and the bottom half was mainly hair but the second floor had 4 rooms and it was rented out by a bunch of esti’s no management no bosses just 3 estheticians and a nurse injector. they all had their own room and did their own thing no manager no bosses but just sorta worked together. there was a main one who was a bit older and came up with the idea but she was not their boss by any means. It seemed like such a calm environment.
I can’t help but think about how great it would be if a bunch of other estheticians put our brains together and did our own thing. Rent out a place and have a room for themselves split the costs thing like that basically like going solo but with support. I’ve only seen it this one time but maybe I’m just not in the loop are more people doing this? I’m so interested pros and cons?

......and well, this is what the Nine-Headed Dragon Archipelago Kingdom ceremony looks like. You can choose between a shiro-muku (traditional kimono) and a shiro-uchikake (traditional wedding kimono), and it's very glamorous. Your groom has a good figure, and I think he would look better in a crested hakama than Ichiha, don't ya think?
......Hmmm. It's better to be simple, not such a strange thing. I see. The bride wants a weddin' dress, right? If so, we recommend this plan. This is the 'Let's get married in a historic temple in the Republic of Turgis' plan. A friend of ours recently had a weddin' with this plan...... .
◇ ◇ ◇
The Temple of Sappuer in the Republic of Turgis. This temple, similar to the Parthenon in Souma's old world, has existed since before the founding of the Republic and was one of the oldest structures in the world. It was in this temple that Kuu performed the inauguration ceremony and the marriage ceremony with Taru and Leporina. Today, a man and woman were about to get married at the Sappuer Temple.
"Velza and Halbert. Congratulations on your marriage"
"Congrats" "Congratulations!"
Receiving congratulations from the country's head of state, Kuu Taisei, and his wives, Taru and Leporina, were Halbert Magna, dressed in a white tuxedo, and Velza, who would become his wife today. Velza is wearing a pure white wedding dress, and the dark elf's brown skin reflects the pure white dress, which further accentuates Velza's beauty. Then Halbert scratched his cheek with a somewhat furtive look on his face.
"O, oh. Thanks, Kuu. I never thought I'd be congratulated by the head of another country"
"Ukkyakkya! Don't worry about it. We've known each other a long time"
Halbert and Kuu. Although they came from different countries and backgrounds, they had many opportunities to fight together, such as defeating a deformed ogre in the Republic and providing reinforcements to the then Union of Eastern Nations when it was attacked by a demon wave, and they recognized each other as comrades-in-arms. It was Kuu who suggested that Halbert and Velza's wedding be held at the Sappuer Temple.
"The Temple of Sappuer is the most famous historic site in our country. We need to take this opportunity to show the rest of the world that there is more to the Republic than leisure skiing, hot springs, and seafood, and to attract tourists"
"That's what this is about. Our marriage is just a bonus then"
"I'd say it's just 50-50. It's for the sake of the country, and I want to celebrate my friend's marriage. It's a win-win situation"
"Hee hee, I'm delighted. I can't believe I'm being blessed in such a beautiful place"
Velza smiled as she said this, and Hal was in a "......well okay" mood. Incidentally, Halbert and Velza's wedding, like Tomoe and Ichiha's, will also be broadcast live in the countries of the former members of the Maritime Alliance. Since it was the wedding of the hero [Hal the Red Oni] who defeated that Fuuga Haan (in reality, he only clipped his wings, so it is much exaggerated), it attracted a lot of attention, especially within the Kingdom of Friedonia, and Kuu used it for publicity sake. Therefore, the cost of this ceremony is shared half by the Kingdom and half by the Republic.
Then, Hal's first wife Kaede and second wife Ruby came to the five of them. They were both in dresses to attend the ceremony.
"You both seem to be......ready to go. You look lovely"
"Oh, Velza. You're such a pretty bride"
"Thank you, Lady Kaede and Lady Ruby!"
The first through third wives gathered together and happily talked with each other, their husband notwithstanding. Both Kaede and Ruby accepted that Velza would be his third wife before the man himself, Halbert did. It also means that Velza worked hard to make that happen.
(I noticed that the moat was filled in, the walls were collapsed, and the gates were left open with a sign that said 'Welcome' on it......)
Halbert thought of this as he looked at the three women. Halbert's feelings for Velza were initially just that of a big brother for his cute little sister. I thought she would adore me because I saved her life, and I never imagined that we would have a relationship that went beyond that.
But Velza, on the other hand, was working to become his wife from the beginning. I heard that before Kaede and Ruby's marriage, she had already asked her directly to be his third wife, and he had fulfilled the condition of 'graduate from one of the academies' that was given to her at that time. She was also studying at the academy to become Halbert's secretary in order to help the Magna family in the future.
She has taken care of Bill, the child of Halbert and Kaede, has shown filial piety to Glaive and Elba, who will eventually become her in-laws, has put in roots in Kaede's family, the Foxia family, and through her father Sur has established a connection between the Magna family and the God Protected Forest. Before conquering Halbert, she had conquered all the people around Halbert.
Before he knew it, Kaede, Ruby, and his parents were pestering him to 'hurry up and marry Velza'. And when he was told of Velza's efforts up to that point, although he was amazed at her persistence, thinking that she adored him so much was both cute and teasing, and he had no choice but to immediately wave the white flag and give in.
As Halbert was thinking this, Lucy, the facilitator, came to call for them.
"Vellie. Halbert. Please get ready"
"O, yeah" "All right, Lucy"
The wedding was attended by members of the Magna and Foxia families, dark elves from the God Protected Forest, and friends from the academy, including Tomoe. Souma also wanted to attend, but as expected, he decided against it because it would be too much for his schedule and security to travel to the Republic for one of his vassals, even if he is a friend. Well, it is being broadcast live, so it is being watched by many people.
Then Kuu snickered and gave Halbert the thumbs up.
"Ukkyakkya! Look forward to seeing you after the ceremony is over. In addition to the inn we have prepared for the attendees, we have reserved a small hot spring inn exclusively for Halbert and Velza. I hope you enjoy your first night as newlyweds to the fullest"
"Hey, why the heck are you mentioning that at this point!?"
Halbert huffed and turned to Kaede and Ruby, both of whom were looking at him with pasted-on smiles.
"......Well, it's tactless of me to meddle with tonight. I have no choice"
"You should teach her properly. Lady-killer?"
"........."
The aura that was brewing behind the two smiling women made Halbert break out in a nasty sweat. Velza, on the other hand, was.......
"I know I have my shortcomings, but I'm looking forward to working with you"
He imagined (fantasized?) a lot of things at this moment. She looked at Halbert expectantly with her hand on her cheek. Halbert looked up to the heavens, unable to say anything.
The wedding itself was solemnized without incident, and with the blessings of many people, including Tomoe, Ichiha, Yuriga, and Lucy, Velza became Halbert's wife, which was a long-cherished dream for her. And after the end of the ceremony.
"I wanted Lucy to receive this"
"Eh, to me?"
Velza presented Lucy with the bouquet she had prepared.
"What I received from Tomoe-san and the others, I now give to you. May happiness come to you"
"Ah, ahaha......thanks"
Lucy accepted the flowers with an embarrassed smile.
◇ ◇ ◇
---And time goes back to the present.
"......and well, this is what it looks like in the Republic. I think I even went a little off on a tangent, but what do ya think? It's goin' to be quite a nice weddin'"
Lucy said to the two prospective couples in front of her. But they only laughed in a troubled manner and seemed to be in no way interested in getting married. Lucy senses this and comes up with the next plan.
"Hmmm. If neither the Republic nor the Archipelago Kingdom is acceptable, then the only plan left would be 'Let's get married at the historic association of the Euphoria Kingdom and walk through the Arc de Triomphe as a couple' ......"
"Oh, um......."
Then the bride was more hesitant to interject.
"Yes? What is it?"
"I'm sorry. Actually, I've already decided on the country where I want to have the ceremony......"
"Eh, is that so? That was presumptuous of me. And what country do ya want?"
"The Kingdom of Lastania"
At the bride's words, Lucy was dumbfounded for a moment.
"The Kingdom of Lastania ya say? The area has already recovered quite well, but I don't think there were any particular spots for weddins. Sorry, we don't have any plans that we offer either......"
"No, I don't care about the plan or anything. It's just...... that country is where my adopted father Hein rests"
So said the bride......Sami Chima with a small smile on her face. She was thinking of him. Günter Lyle, the taciturn groom seated next to her, gently hugs her shoulder.
"I am getting married to Lord Günther this time, and I want my adoptive father to see my bridal gown from the afterlife. However, both Günther and I belong to the Euphoria Kingdom now, and it is difficult to secure a place, personnel, and food for a wedding in another country. So I talked to Ichiha about it, and he suggested I ask Lucy, who has contacts in many countries"
"I, I see......so that's why ya want it. I'm sorry for ma hasty......recommendations"
Lucy bowed her head and Sami hurriedly shook her head.
"I am not a good talker, so it was difficult for me to start the conversation. Günther is usually a man of few words"
Günther, who sat next to her, was embarrassed, his mouth tightened in a pout. For all his stern face, he seemed naïve, like a large, quiet dog. Lucy gave a single cooing cough.
"I'm relieved to hear ya say so. ......It's fine! Our company will do everything in our power to make sure that your late Father can see his daughter as a happy bride and feel at ease!"
Lucy then thumped her chest.
◇ ◇ ◇
--- After Sami and Günther had left.
After office hours. Lucy was in the manager's office, putting away the remaining documents, when suddenly there was a knock at the door and a young man entered.
"Thank you for your hard work, Representative. I brought you some tea"
"Evenin'. It's after business hours now, so just talk normally"
"......Yeah? Then......how're the customers who came today?"
"It's a little complicated, but we'll make it work. We have to make a splendid ceremony for the bride"
He asked Lucy while offering her a cup of tea, and he was the number two of 'L. H. W.' and Lucy's right-hand man. And.......
"That's obvious......but is it okay?"
"Huh? What is?"
"You're offering them a great wedding, but ours should be a modest affair"
Yes, he was also Lucy's lifelong companion. He was originally an employee of Lucy's family's Evans Trading Company, but Lucy was drawn by his business acumen and honest character and pulled him into this 'L.H.W.'. As they worked together right and left on this new venture, they developed a bond that led to their engagement.
"But if you're a representative, you're connected to the royal family, and you could have made the ceremony more magnificent, couldn't you? ......Well, when I put it like that, it makes me wonder if it was really a good idea for you to get engaged to a regular guy like me"
To those words, Lucy laughed at him with a cackle.
"What're you talkin' about? This is 100 percent my ideal weddin' and husband. Many of my friends are in the upper echelons of society, and we've had our share of dramatic stories ......but I'd rather get married to a normal person and have a normal, happy family than ta have that kinda thin' happen ta me. ......Well, I guess it won't be completely normal, though, since we'll have royalty at the weddin'"
"I, Is that how it's supposed to be?"
He tilted his head, not quite grasping the female mind. Seeing him like this, Lucy giggles. She really likes that kind of honest response back. Then Lucy patted the engagement ring he had given her and said, with a lovely smile similar to that of a revered little raccoon princess.
"Let's be happy together, darlin'♪"

Dear everyone, I didn't expect my previous post to receive so much attention. I apologize for not being able to update it directly i don't know how to update the same post, so I decided to write a new post instead. You can find my original post on my profile. I want to address a few points and provide an update on the situation.

1. I want to clarify that Alan (not the real name) the person involved, is not a pediatrician but a colorectal surgeon who specializes in procedures such as treating hemorrhoids.
   
2. I would like to emphasize that I'm not defending Alan in any way. My intention was never to hurt my uncle and aunt; I simply believed they were nice people. I apologize if my previous post conveyed a different message.
   
3. To all those who have experienced similar situations, I am deeply sorry for what you have been through. Please accept my virtual hugs and know that you are strong, beautiful, and deserving of support. I am proud of each and every one of you.
   
4. Some people have mentioned that by not speaking up, I am allowing more harm to occur. It takes immense courage to talk about these things because there is always a chance of facing disbelief or invalidation. Today, I decided to set aside those fears and speak out, even if it meant potentially losing my relatives' support.
   

Now, for the update. I will try to keep it concise, but I apologize if it becomes lengthy.
I decided to hold a video conference call this morning (as it's sunday i knew everybody would be at their home)with all the family members involved, including Alan. I used my selection for post-graduation at a good college as the reason for the call, which was true. One by one, I had around 14 people join the call, including Alan's parents, some of my cousins, and various uncles and aunts. I planned to reveal everything about the incidents after sharing my news.
I began by announcing my accomplishment and thanking everyone for their support. Then, I mustered up the courage to share the truth about Alan. As I spoke, tears overwhelmed me, and I couldn't control my emotions. I told them everything about his actions. After I finished, there was a heavy silence, but one of my cousins started crying, indicating that she was also a victim. Her experience was similar to mine, and since her family lived closer to Alan's, she had suffered more and before I did. This revelation was enough for everyone to believe us. Everyone was filled with anger and rage. My aunt was sobbing, and my uncle's face turned red with anger. At that point, I didn't even have to call Alan; my uncle took the initiative and made him join the call.
I was worried about what Alan's response would be, whether he would deny everything. When he joined the call, everyone remained silent, waiting for his father to speak first. His dad began by telling him that he was dead to him from that day onward. He called Alan a monster for torturing young children and living his life as if nothing happened. Alan immediately understood what his dad was referring to. His dad continued shouting in anger, and Alan began crying, apologizing and acknowledging his terrible mistake. He swore upon his life that he didn't do anything after my cousin and me, and that he had been going to church and crying countless nights over his guilt. (I suspect he admitted to it because my uncle, being a heart patient, could have fallen ill or had a stroke due to the intensity of the yelling. Alan deeply loves and worships his father.) In a feeble attempt to defend himself, he claimed he never had a girlfriend and said he was filled with teenage hormones. This conversation went on for about 1 hour, with Alan crying profusely while each of my relatives shouted at him and threatened him for what he had done to us when we were young and vulnerable.
Regarding my earlier mention of my aunt, it turns out she was aware of Alan's actions. She had seen him with my cousin once and claimed that she had given him "the talk" after witnessing that incident. From that day onwards, she had prevented any young child from being near him. Alan chimed in, stating that her actions made him feel guilty every day, as if his own mother didn't trust him. (It seemed suspicious to me, as if they were collaborating or covering for each other.)
To keep this brief, after the intense confrontation, everyone reached out to me again to check on my well-being. We all cried together, and I felt an overwhelming sense of love and safety from my family. They are deeply spiritual and religious, which played a significant role in them believing and supporting me. It was evident in Alan's eyes that he was consumed by guilt.
Despite the emotional toll, I am determined to check his history first (Hospital records his college records and stuff) and i will file a report ASAP.
As for Alan's girlfriend, she was present in his apartment but not in the room during the call. She happened to overhear his intense crying and left. I am unsure of what happened afterward. I spoke with my cousin, and she expressed her gratitude for my courage in addressing this issue.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I apologize for the length of this post. I called everyone and did this first thing in the Morning as i couldn't sleep with all these thoughts. My mum's still receiving calls from my relatives for all the support that i need.
Finally, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to all of you for empowering me and supporting me for this, I'm reading every comment. Your encouragement has made me do something for myself and would probably make a significant difference in many lives involved. Thank you.

Our successful but laid back crew "TooSlowRacers" has 1 spot. We are looking for active, communicative, chill players that enjoy working towards a goal together.
You should be able to gain 600k RP per season if you have the prestige car. Our wildcards are coordinated via a flexible schedule using LINE app.
TSR has won all the milestone cars.
Please reply here or PM me if interested. In-game applications without prior contact will be rejected.

for context i have depression and anxiety. i have been dealing with it since i was in middle school. after we got into summer break i’ve been stuck at my house alone while my parents are working and my sister is at school. my bf is the only one i get to talk to here and there. but even then he’s very busy sometimes so he can’t talk. i’ve been very unmotivated to do anything. i sit in my bed for hours on end just doing absolutely nothing. and i have a art commission small business and commissions to do but not motivation. and i literally cannot get out of my bed only for things that are absolutely necessary. i hate that i rely on my bf so much to make me feel better tho. because k feel so miserable and he’d literally the only one who understands me to the fullest. and i hate that i feel like such a burden to him. i want to cry everyday knowing this will be my life forever and i’m trying to get my shit together but it’s so hard. i miss it when i was okay. i hope my bf doesn’t get tired of me. but i am in constant need of attention from him which is has no problem giving me but i feel like sometimes it’s too much on him even though he struggles with the same illness i have. which i am always there for him as he is for me. anyway just wanted to vent that i am not doing okay.