The complete lore of Sleep Token (as I see it). Bear in mind this is after a sudden urge to understand the lore and create a timeline of events. I know many of y'all have been doing this longer, this is just my interpretation of the timeline assuming every song is in sequence.
As I've said before in another post, I see the story of Sleep Token as the redemption story of Vessel (the character) who is being punished by some unknown force through a deity named Sleep. Sleep is unaware of this and just sees Vessel as "another vessel" to feast on and ruin, but because Vessel is stronger and wants to improve he breaks free by the end of TMBTE with a new outlook on life. So I'll be interpreting the story with that in mind. Here's the story:
I. ONE

• "Thread the Needle" - (Sleep -> Vessel) Sleep seduces Vessel for the first time, and already starts to take control of Vessel's mind by making time dilate. They offer Vessel someone to confide in, and to erase his past mistakes with. "Bury me inside this labyrinth bed" just signifies Vessel going to sleep.
  
• "Fields of Elation" - (Vessel) Vessel's perspective as he succumbs to Sleep for the first time. He's "losing faith in their time apart" and thinks "nobody else can pull him out" of his past mistakes. This in my opinion makes Vessel much more complex than I imagined. Yes, Sleep is a malicious force that devours souls and feasts on vulnerable people by manipulating them, but Vessel also only values Sleep because they make him feel better about his past. They both do not value one another and are only with each other to serve themselves. The foundation of a toxic relationship.
  
• "When the Bough Breaks" - (Sleep -> Vessel) Sleep begins to gaslight Vessel. They tell him he's powerless without them and makes him feel bad about himself saying he "doesn't love, just hates to be alone" so he'll be scared and never leave. Sleep also does not believe Vessel is devoted to them and repeats the line "don't lie to me" probably in response to what Vessel says in "Fields of Elation" about Sleep being the only one to pull him out and how devoted he is to them. They also expand on how great they would be together.
  

II. TWO

• "Calcutta" - (Vessel -> Sleep) This EP came a year after the last one so this song just serves as an update to everyone getting everyone up to speed on Vessel and Sleep's relationship without adding any new significant events. Vessel just gushes over Sleep and tells them how they make him feel whole.
  
• "Nazareth" - Probably the darkest song in their entire catalog. As Sleep was skeptical of Vessel's devotion to them before, Vessel aims to prove his devotion by torturing and inflicting pain to his past lover (whom he probably already treated wrong considering his "past mistakes" that he seeks to overcome the guilt of with Sleep, this is a huge leap but let's call her Eden). The constant use of "load the gun", "I'll show you what you look like from the inside", and "See if she can guess what a hollow point does to a naked body" show that Vessel intends to shoot her, and I believe he does. Sleep now believes Vessel.
  
• "Jericho" - (Sleep) This song is basically Sleep just boasting after finally acquiring Vessel as a... well, vessel. They talk about how they "dine on old encounters" before telling Vessel he is completely under their thumb and tells him to "say their name again". This song also seems to be frantically skipping between Vessel and Sleep. "My hands are not worthy" is Vessel reflecting what he's done while Sleep boasts about their victory and control over Vessel.
  

III. JAWS - (Vessel -> Sleep) Now that Vessel and Sleep are entangled, Vessel asks Sleep to show him love by eating him. Now it is unclear whether this is what Vessel truly likes or if Sleep makes him believe that, but either way this is what Sleep wanted so they're okay with it. There's many more times Vessel asks Sleep to "take a bite" of him and many more references to vorarephilia (even a song called "Vore") so maybe Vessel just wants that.
IV. "The Way that You Were" - (Vessel -> Eden) This songs seems to be about Vessel reminiscing about Eden perhaps talking to her in a dream (considering they're probably not on speaking terms after he literally shot her). Eden is a very troubled soul, with repeated patterns of self harm, and Vessel has an imaginary conversation with her talking about it. Vessel shows no remorse for how he treated her and does not comfort her in any way, showing he has a long way to go for his redemption (in "Are You Really Okay?"). He just says all these things in a very stoic fashion.
V. SUNDOWNING

• "The Night Does Not Belong To God" - (Vessel) Again like "Calcutta" this song serves as a way to get us up to speed on Vessel and Sleep's relationship. Sleep comes to Vessel when he um, falls asleep and talks to him then. Vessel sees this as pure bliss as he repeats "the night comes down like heaven". Vessel also knows Sleep "will not be his" which acts as foreshadowing for the rest of the album as he slowly realises Sleep does not care about his well being and is with him only for their own selfish interest.
  
• "The Offering" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel offers himself up to Sleep and is fully devoted to them. More references to vorarephilia with "take a bite."
  
• "Levitate" - (Vessel -> Sleep) As Vessel thinks about why Sleep is so distant with him he tries to empathise with Sleep and considers that maybe Sleep themselves are hurt, but of course they aren't. Vessel offers Sleep comfort and reassurance that he can "lift them up" but secretly knows they will "levitate where he can't reach them". He knows Sleep is unattainable and only comes to him when they want something from him.
  
• "Dark Signs" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel reflect on his childhood briefly before admitting that he saw red flags when he and Sleep met. He "misses the man he was" and "hates who he's become" under the influence of Sleep. He does so "every time he wakes up" further suggesting this. Even though he wasn't a great man before he met Sleep, he is noticeably worse now.
  
• "Higher" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel realises his relationship with Sleep is worse for him in the end. They are "killing him slow", and he is "granting them more than the debt that he owes" meaning he is giving Sleep much more than he owes them, but he is still committed and believes every battle they have will take them "higher".
  
• "Take Aim" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel realises Sleep does not have his best interests in mind and "led him on when the moment was perfect", but he's not ready to give up on the relationship, he's still bargaining.
  
• "Give" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel implores Sleep to be open with him and tell him they comfort him and he wants to do the same.
  
• "Gods" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel is driven to the brink and in a fit of rage reflects on what he is and what (perhaps) Sleep has made him. He questions Sleep and asks if they like the way their relationship feels.
  
• "Sugar" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Despite all the doubts he had, Vessel relapses hard into his infatuation with Sleep. He knows Sleep is toxic but romanticizes his situation, and he sees himself putting his feelings away and clinging onto the relationship as "not giving up".
  
• "Say That You Will" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel desperately tries to have a conversation with Sleep and says he knows they're "planning to leave in the end" but wants them to tell him pretty lies and is willing to compromise even at the expense of his own well being.
  
• "Drag Me Under" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel falls deeper into the toxic relationship believing they are meant to be, and implores Sleep to drag him further into the relationship.
  
• "Blood Sport" - (Vessel) This song summarises the revelations Vessel has had throughout the course of the album. He wants Sleep to open up to him, he knows his love is unrequited, but he's willing to stay at his own expense. This is also the first time the relationship between Sleep and Vessel is given a chemical connotation, suggesting that it's a much deeper connection. Vessel breaks down crying at the end of the song, feeling helpless.
  

VI. THIS PLACE WILL BECOME YOUR TOMB

• "Atlantic" - (Vessel) Vessel wakes up in a hospital after a failed suicide attempt, perhaps to sever his connection with Sleep, and is talked through the damage. He begs to not be woken up and slowly falls back into Sleep's grasp throughout the course of this album.
  
• "Hypnosis" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel implores Sleep to once again lift him out, and offers himself to them despite knowing how much it affected him. "The Offering" was the same but he did not know, this song is sadder because he is helpless even after knowing and offers himself up to Sleep the exact same way.
  
• "Mine" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel believes the relationship is destined to be and that no matter how much he tries to distance himself with Sleep, they'll surely cross paths again. He lies to himself more to make himself feel okay instead of facing the truth.
  
• "Like That" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel is once again reminded of how toxic the relationship is and asks how Sleep is okay with doing this to him asking if they "like that". He knows he is one of many previous victims. He is aware of his inability to let go no matter you how badly Sleep treats him.
  
• "The Love You Want" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel tries to have a conversation with Sleep, believing they saw something in him the time they met, and tells them he's still the same person but he knows he'll never be who they want.
  
• "Fall For Me" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Continuing from the previous song, Vessel desperately implores Sleep to "fall for him" again, because that's what he has convinced himself to believe that was.
  
• "Alkaline" - (Vessel) Vessel is infatuated again and can't explain it, even though he knows Sleep is changing him. He refuses to do anything about it, because he enjoys the ride. More chemical references.
  
• "Distraction" - (Vessel) Vessel realises he's past the point of no return and it's "too late for him" he's fallen in too deep into him relationship with Sleep.
  
• "Descending" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel is actually very stern with Sleep and says things for what they are for the the first time.
  
• "Telomeres" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel seemed really convinced on the previous track but now he's back to romanticizing his relationship and acknowledges that Sleep provided him comfort. This part of the album is very confusing as Vessel changes his mind about the relationship with every song. The way I see it is him trying to make sense of the relationship. He feels conflicted.
  
• "High Water" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel chooses to ignore his own doubts about the relationship again, even though he knows it's not the best for him.
  
• "Missing Limbs" - (Vessel -> Eden) Vessel has another imaginary conversation, probably a dream talking to Eden saying he still loves her and his relationship with Sleep is losing its allure.
  

VII. TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN

• "Chokehold" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Again, this serves as an update for us setting the scene, Vessel is still firmly in Sleep's grasp.
  
• "The Summoning" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel talks about how his relationship with Sleep is and he presents it in a very romantic way like they were destined to be together. Even though throughout the course of the album he finds the strength to move on from Sleep.
  
• "Granite" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel says things for what they are again and seems very empowered. Like he's finally seeing the relationship from the perspective of an outsider and for what it is.
  
• "Aqua Regia" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel talks more about his relationship with Sleep but wants to move on ("and I am done dancing to alarming bells").
  
• "Vore" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel feels his vorarephilic urges again and wishes to be "swallowed whole" by Sleep, but he acknowledges that he is suffering and asks Sleep if they are "in pain like he is".
  
• "Ascensionism" - (Vessel -> Sleep) Much like "Granite", Vessel is very empowered here. He no longer feels helpless and asks Sleep to "watch him ascend". He fully acknowledges that Sleep "makes him wish he could disappear". It's taken him so long to fully admit that.
  
• "Are You Really Okay?" (Vessel -> Eden) Vessel fully confronts Eden about her self harm and begs her to not hurt herself again. He feels empathy for others and slowly transforms into a better person.
  
• "The Apparition" (Vessel -> Sleep) Vessel asks Sleep why they are never real and why they leave every time he awakes, but he also wants to nihilistically "make trouble in the dream world" because "this could be the last time" suggesting that he wants to move on.
  
• "DYWTYLM" (Vessel -> himself) Throughout his life and throughout the course of his relationship with Sleep, Vessel has dealt with an immense amount of self hatred and can't even smile at himself in the mirror. This song is really sad but it also shows Vessel's willingness to heal from his trauma and become a better person and learn to love himself instead of just escaping and running away from his problems like he used to.
  
• "Rain" (Vessel) Vessel acknowledges how much he has changed, perhaps with Sleep or just from the time he was born when he was a good person and he asks an unknown force to cleanse him of his sins. This force isn't Sleep at this point because Vessel is pretty clear about moving on.
  
• "Take Me Back to Eden" (Vessel -> Sleep) This is the final time Vessel addresses Sleep and it's a huge tribute to Sleep, without whom he would not have improved, but he also acknowledges the toxicity of the relationship but in a mature way. He looks back at the journey he has had and has a mature outlook on it, he was treated badly by Sleep, but he was also bad, and he's ready to move on.
  
• "Euclid" (Vessel) In the aftermath of it all, Vessel is ready to shed his former self and become someone new. He calls back to "The Night Does Not Belong To God" just as a tribute to acknowledge how far he has come and what a journey it has been.
  

If you've read this far, thank you so much haha! This is my interpretation of just the lyrics of the songs and the story that they tell. I understand that there's much more lore to be found in Sleep Token. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Worship.

My personal songs chart in May 27

1. Fireflies - Owl City {-}
   
2. Sexy B*tch (feat. Akon) - David Guetta {+1}
   
3. Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra) - Gotye {-1}
   
4. Viva La Vida - Coldplay {+1}
   
5. Sure Thing - Miguel {-1}
   
6. Faithful (feat. dvsn & Pimp C) - Drake {+4}
   
7. Titanium (feat. Sia) - David Guetta {+2}
   
8. Heat Waves - Glass Animals {+20}
   
9. Good Time - Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen {-2}
   
10. What You Know Bout Love - Pop Smoke {+5}
    
11. Fast Car - Luke Combs {-3}
    
12. Thinkin’ Bout Me - Morgan Wallen {-}
    
13. You Proof - Morgan Wallen {+19}
    
14. Laugh Now Cry Later (feat. Lil Durk) - Drake {+10}
    
15. Waffle House - Jonas Brothers {+8}
    
16. Daylight - David Kushner {-3}
    
17. Karma - Taylor Swift {-1}
    
18. La Bebe (Remix) - Yng Lvcas & Peso Pluma {-7}
    
19. One More Night - Maroon 5 {-2}
    
20. See You Again (feat. Charlie Puth) - Wiz Khalifa {+1}
    
21. Tennessee Whiskey - Chris Stapleton {+4}
    
22. Whatcha Say - Jason Derulo {New}
    
23. N95 - Kendrick Lamar {New}
    
24. Eyes Closed - Ed Sheeran {-4}
    
25. 6 Foot 7 Foot (feat. Cory Gunz) - Lil Wayne {+9}
    
26. Bad Habits - Ed Sheeran {+7}
    
27. Drinkaby - Cole Swindell {-13}
    
28. MATHEMATICAL DISRESPECT - Lil Mabu {New}
    
29. Go Crazy - Chris Brown & Young Thug {-11}
    
30. Sorry - Justin Bieber {-24}
    
31. Baby Don't Hurt Me - David Guetta, Anne-Marie & Coi Leray {+4}
    
32. Search & Rescue - Drake {-13}
    
33. Ella Baila Sola - Eslabon Armado & Peso Pluma {-6}
    
34. They Don't Love It - Jack Harlow {-8}
    
35. Something in the Orange - Zach Bryan {+5}
    
36. Fall In Love - Bailey Zimmerman {-7}
    
37. Every Breath You Take - The Police {+12}
    
38. We No Speak Americano - Yolanda Be Cool & DCup {New}
    
39. Party - Bad Bunny & Rauw Alejandro {+8}
    
40. Suga Suga (feat. Frankie J) - Baby Bash {+4}
    
41. Dancin’ In The Country - Tyler Hubbard {-11}
    
42. Bury Me in Georgia - Kane Brown {New}
    
43. The Kind of Love We Make - Luke Combs {+5}
    
44. Princess Diana - Ice Spice & Nicki Minaj {-22}
    
45. Umbrella (feat. JAY-Z) - Rihanna {+1}
    
46. Vanilla Twilight - Owl City {New}
    
47. AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - Beyoncé {New}
    
48. Hello Seattle - Owl City {New}
    
49. Last Night - Morgan Wallen {-4}
    
50. Miracle - Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding {New}
    

Verse 1: Hyper Offense Players
1You say you’re always tryna keep the balance
2Then why’s stall all I see whenever we challenge
3You’re always talking bout these broken threats
4Spend so much time online you done forgot the rent
5Your girlfriend might as well be toxapex
6Because you stalled so long she became your ex
7 As a stall player you’re afraid of sun
8 On your birthdays you become a turn count!
9 You’re like 5’5 and I’m the terminator
10 You’re only alive from degenerator
11 In highschool you were the leftovers
12 Scared to change the meta till godamn october!
Verse 1: Finchinator 1 Oh hey 12 yr old, talking bout my paychecks
2 You elo is so low you couldn’t even get recs
3All my stall loving’s just an overblown meme while
4You play matches too long you’ll start to dual scream
5 All you do is bring out ninetales and set screens like a bot
6 But you’re so predictable you get predictably dropped
7Been playing shoddybattles before you could VGC
8Been the leader of two tiers while your elo is 3
Verse 2: Hyper Offense Players
1Just like your playstyle, your action is slow
2Arbitary rules made Houndstone stuck in limbo
3You act like you’re better just because you got more elo
4You’re a disease to the community, and that’s for sure (like lavos)
5In OU, you claim to be the number one
6 But like the Christians, you started a crusade against fun
7You banned King’s Rock, Bright Powder, Quick Claw, and Sand Veil Too?
8 But didnt bat an eye when they banned Chi-Yu
9You’re as toxic as the move you love to spam click
10Spend a minute per game, not an hour you dick!
11Like your stallmons, your verses are weak
12They call you Finchinator but your future looks beak
13You sit and do nothing, real life and in game
14Your lack of action even puts politicans to shame
15 All you do is sit still and complain like a loser
16 Where My mons hit so hard people call me an abuser Finchinator: Verse 2
3Ho players dream of a meta that can’t exist
4One that’s rooted in OHKOs rather than skarm and bliss
5And for all the talk of garbage and how the leadership is trash
6 Least we haven’t had a meta BW OU bad
7 My lyrics regenerate while yours always go mudstale
8 Your so blind to the meta you probably need Braile
9 Your stupid while my metagame knowledge is off the rails
10 When faced against my mental prowess you know you’ll fail
if this gets 500 upvotes ill make a full video on yt

Hello welcome to weirdest shop What ya want (LIKES=COINS)
Word:
Nothing-1 coin
Idc-2 coin
Brb-3 coin
Fuck-4 coin (censor this word if you wanna copy this to YouTube)
Cum-Free
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Due to its massive size and power, the .950 JDJ is primarily used for specialty purposes such as long-range target shooting, big game hunting, and as a novelty or collectors' item. The recoil generated by this cartridge is extremely powerful, and it requires a strong and well-built rifle to handle it safely.
The term "Fat Mac" is often used to refer to a custom-made rifle chambered in .950 JDJ, typically based on a modified Mac-10 submachine gun. These firearms are incredibly rare and are often considered more of a collector's item or a novelty piece rather than practical firearms.
It's worth noting that the .950 JDJ cartridge and the rifles chambered for it are highly specialized and not commonly found. They are typically custom-made and not widely available for purchase-100 coin
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Blue phone-20 coin USE 1 TIME Desc: Choose amount of coin you wanted 0-100 COIN
Cash-30 coin Desc: Give cash to you 1 cash=10 coin Cash buying amount 1-10 cash
Ring of lazer-40 coin Desc: Shoot it to someone you hate
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Speed up time-10 coin
Slow down time-10 coin
Dingle-20 coin
Cummy bizzard-30 coin
Cummy lazer-30 coin
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Hate on anime girls-Free standard perk
Jumpscare-30 coin
2 inches penis-30 coin
Hating on furry-20 coin
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Hack-60 coin
Song lyrics:
oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh ohOh oh oh oh oh-30 coin
My day will come, I gave too much I sold my soul, I'm waiting for my pay in full I only want your dying love, I've seen enough I tried, but I don't think so Maybe it was me who was (F word) up I gave all I could give, but It seems like it never really was enough I feel left out, I don't see how My whole life can change in one week I don't mind my own reflection I don't see how you've been let down Don't speak unless you have to Why you always seem in a bad mood? Your whole life you had an attitude One day, is that so bad for you? I'm sorry if I hurt you I'm sorry if it got that bad I'm sorry I can't help you Somebody should've had your back I tried, but I don't think so Maybe it was me who was fucking up I gave all I could give, but It seems like it never really was enough-40 like
Paranoia is in bloom The PR transmissions will resume They'll try to push drugs that keep us all dumbed down And hope that we will never see the truth around (So come on) Another promise, another scene Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed And all the green belts wrapped around our minds And endless red tape to keep the truth confined (So come on) They will not force us They will stop degrading us They will not control us We will be victorious (So come on) Interchanging mind control Come, let the revolution take its toll If you could flick the switch and open your third eye You'd see that we should never be afraid to die (So come on) Rise up and take the power back It's time the fat cats had a heart attack You know that their time's coming to an end We have to unify and watch our flag ascend (So come on) They will not force us They will stop degrading us They will not control us We will be victorious (So come on) They will not force us They will stop degrading us They will not control us We will be victorious (So come on)-50 coin
How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Well there's a principle of nature (Principle of nature) That almost every creature knows Called survival of the fittest (Survival of the fittest) And check it this is how it goes The animal that eats gotta scratch And fight and claw and bite and punch And the animal that doesn't Well the animal that doesn't Winds up someone else's lu-lu-lu-lu-lunch (Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch) I'm just sayin' How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? There's a principle in business (Principle in business) That everybody knows is sound It says the people with the money (People with the money) Make this ever-loving world go 'round So I'm biggering my company I'm biggering my factory I'm biggering my corporate sign Everybody out there, take care of yours And me? I'll take care of Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine (Shake that bottom line) Let me hear you say Smogulous smoke (Smogulous smoke) Schloppity schlop (Schloppity schlop) Complain all you want, it's never ever, ever, ever gonna stop Come on how bad can I possibly be? How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just building an economy How ba-a-a-ad can I be? Just look at me pettin' this puppy How ba-a-a-ad can I be? A portion of proceeds goes to charity How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Let's see (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) All the customers are buying (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And the money's multiplying (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And the PR people are lying (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And the lawyers are denying (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) Who cares if a few trees are dying? (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) This is all so gratifying How bad... How bad can this possibly be?-50 coin
Weapon:
Bazangka-30 coin
Funny gun-59 coin
Bozo-10 coin
Roasted gun-40 coin
Chicken Mcnuggets-Chicken nugget coin
(MORE TOO COMING)

Hi,
I am a work in progress. But I still think I’m ready for a loving relationship. I want to start the journey with my person.
I’m 27 years old and I have a fairly significant physical disability, cerebral palsy. That basically means that I need help with almost everything, from bathing, dressing, all that good stuff like that. I’ve had a couple other setbacks as well that have prevented me from really pursuing independence, but I’m starting that journey now in earnest. This might be TMI but I’m setting up a meeting with my parents so we can discuss a roadmap to maximum independence.
Having a disability has made it hard to “find myself.”I have a few major interests, namely politics, geography, and history. But I’m looking for more hobbies. I’ll be completely honest. It’s tough to develop your own identity when you rely someone else’s help That said, I do have a great passion for learning. Wikipedia is my favorite website in the world and I just love knowing a little bit about a lot of things.
As for TV, I like stand-up comedy, Saturday Night Live, Futurama, Ted Lasso. On the dramatic side, I like Breaking Bad Better Call Saul, Severance, stuff like that.
And I absolutely love music. I know that sounds generic but I literally have my headphones on for the majority of my date. It’s hard to talk about favorite artist or genres because I’m the type of person to find a song on spotify and play it over and over and over. Sometimes it is here a certain song, no matter the genre, and it just grabs me. In fact, I find it easier to communicate my feelings through song lyrics most of the time.
Now, for what I’m really passionate about, politics. I am a committed progressive/social democrat. Basically, I believe every human should be free to live how they wish, so long as they don’t harm others or themselves. This means I believe deeply in women’s rights and LGBTQ+ rights. I also believe that America, as a wealthy nation, has the resources to take care of its citizens. I believe in free enterprise, but I also believe that the government should create conditions which allow people to pursue full and fulfilling lives. This means support for a living wage, healthcare as a right, paid time off as a guarantee for every worker.
I’ve always felt this way but my philosophy really came together this past summer. My family and I were lucky enough to go on a trip to Ireland last July. We got to stay in a really nice hotel. Pretty much every room in the hotel had a view of this small lake. I don’t know what it was about that particular lake, but I couldn’t stop looking at it. I felt a sense of calm and contentment that I had never really felt before. And that's when I knew that everyone should be able to have the same feeling I had. At least a couple days a year where people can just relax, relatively free of worry. That’s what I want to fight for
Getting back to personal stuff. I also like to meet a girl and take her back to that hotel and share that sense of calm with her. Now, I am 5’7” tall and I am relatively heavy. I have a plan to lose some weight but it is difficult as someone who is relatively sedentary.
I am looking for a close and affectionate relationship. My disability has meant that I have had very little intimate contact of any kind. So I would like someone who is open-minded with a relatively high sex drive. I should say though. Due to disability reasons I may need a little blue pill. We can cross that bridge when we come to it though. I haven’t really experimented with it, but I am kink inclined. What that exactly means, I’m not sure yet.
I don’t really have any strict standards. All I ask is that you are between 20 and 35, single and willing to meet me relatively soon in Nashville, Tennessee.. I know I’m a work in progress. It’s going to take a where I’m going but I have a lot of love to give and I feel like I’m ready to give that to someone, at least.
Apologies for typos. They are pretty hard to avoid when using a dictation software.
As long as this is up, I am open to replies.
Face pic available upon request.

I (32F) came out of an 8 years long sexless marriage last year. I am in a long distance relationship with a man (38) who has been a great friend for many years and someone I always looked up to and admired. We love each other and are talking about a future together.
I have a medium high sex drive. Him and I are very close and everything feels very natural between us. I am very attracted to him, I want him, sex feels good, I came close to orgasm a few times and orgasmed twice with him (clit stimulation + penetration). When we're together, we usually have sex everyday, sometimes twice. When we have sex, I crave him, I am soaking wet, his dick looks and feels amazing, his hands are gorgeous, he looks incredibly sexy, I love to feel him cum inside of me.
We tend to do very minimal foreplay. He tends to not come to bed with me, stay in the living room for a while which is annoying. During the day I am very tactile and he isn't. Most times, he won't respond to my touching him and will even push me away sometimes. My main issue is that it takes me a while to orgasm which I can feel self conscious about. Also, I need clit stimulation. I'm in my head a lot and setting the mood with lighting and music can help.
He can be a bit harsh and quick to say "no" which intimidates me and makes me a bit shy / a bit scared of being rejected, perhaps. I've not really been that way with other partners. By the time I am fully aroused and most likely to finish, he has cum and isn't feeling it anymore. Although I'm aroused, I don't want sex to be forced or an obligation. No enthusiasm = not sexy. He usually falls right asleep afterwards anyways, with very minimal cuddles even. We've never had a second round . After sex is when I feel closest to him, my love is multiplied, I adore him, I feel deeply connected but he gives me post nut clarity energy. It's like he doesn't care anymore and is doing me a favor by letting me stay close to him. I have finished myself in his shower, in his living room or next to him as he slept many times which gets the job done but doesn't feel great. He has expressed feeling bad about not making me finish. He asked me to wake him up if I ever felt like masturbating but I have twice and he has told me to let him sleep both times which he didn't remember the next day.
I had a c-section two and a half years ago and after that, I couldn't orgasm at all for a while. Now I have no problem reaching orgasm on my own. With my fingers, my vibrator or the showerhead. It usually takes me 15-35 mins. Although on very stressful days it can take a looong while (think an hour or masturbating) or not happen at all.
I definitely don't need to finish every time but I'd like to be able to at times. Any insight? Advise? I guess I'd like to slow down when we have sex, do more foreplay and to try using a vibrator during PIV. I only have a bunny but it doesn't work for clit stimulation during PIV, (I did try, the angle is not right). What should I get?

I was just reading through all the Sleep Token lyrics, to interpret them for myself and try and understand the story Vessel is telling and I realised something that was groundbreaking to me.
Vessel (the character) on the surface appears to be an unsuspecting victim of a deity named Sleep, but he's actually a horrible person who's done horrible things, and the story of Sleep Token is the story of his redemption. Sleep comes to Vessel as punishment for his actions, eventually leading to his redemption by the end of TMBTE. Now whether Sleep is aware of this or not is unclear, in fact I believe Sleep is definitely unaware of this, and just sees Vessel as "another vessel" to feast on and ruin, but Vessel is stronger than the others even though he's done bad things and breaks free by the end with a new outlook on life.
Let me know what y'all think. Maybe this was obvious to you, maybe this is completely different from your interpretation. That's the beauty of this band, we can all come to our own conclusions so I'd love to hear what you think.

Public Speaking Tips That Worked For Me
Practice, Practice, Practice - This is the best advice I can give and there’s no shortcut for it. If you don’t know your material backward and forward no tips or tricks will save you.
Universal Greeting - Who are you? What organization are you with? Why should I listen to what you have to say? What are your credentials? What makes you an expert on this topic?
People are most nervous the first minute or so of speaking so GET YOUR OPENING DOWN. If you know your opening like you know the lyrics of your favorite song that will allow you to get through that tough first minute. The audience will see you know what you’re doing. You can begin to relax. Once you’ve done that, and done it well, the rest will become easier.
Arrive at the Event Early - Duh, you should always do this (if just for the simple fact that there will always be tech issues). Mingle. Trust me, the audience will seek you out, introduce themselves, and chit chat with you. Then, when you're speaking, you’re not talking to a room full of strangers; you’re talking to “Bob” or “Mary” who you talked to earlier. You can even address specific concerns they raised with you beforehand and incorporate them into your speech. This is a great way to bond with the audience.
The Audience Wants You To Succeed - Ever been in a room where a person is bombing? How did it make you feel? Uncomfortable? Ready to slink out the exit at the first opportunity? Embarrassed for the speaker? Embarrassed for yourself?
Point is, watching a bad public speaker makes the audience feel terrible. They want you to succeed. They want you to do a good job if only for their own selfish reason for not being made to feel uncomfortable.
Negative Audience Members - There will ALWAYS be someone in the audience who looks like they think you’re full of shit, like they’re bored, shaking their head, whatever. There’s nothing you can do about this. They will be at every event. Fuck ‘em. Get them out of your head.
And many times the person you thought this about will be the one to come up to you after and tell you what a great job you did.
Find a Friendly Face - Just as there will always be a negative person in the audience there too will also be a positive person. Someone who smiles at you and nods their head. Maybe they look like your grandmother or a teacher you liked. Use this person as a life preserver. You can’t ignore the rest of the room and focus just on them but when you need it, come back to them for a refill of confidence.
Repeat Questions - If you don't, some guy seven rows back will say “I didn’t hear what she asked.” When asked a question, repeat it for the entire audience. While you’re repeating the question or comment this will also allow you extra time to formulate your answer.
Find What Works For You - Different techniques work for different people. When I started public speaking I tried many of them and kept what worked for me and discarded what didn’t. “Practice in front of a mirror”. Good advice for some but not for me. I felt foolish. It didn’t work for me so I moved on to techniques that did. Don’t think because something doesn’t work for you that it’s your problem. It’s not. Different methods work for different people. Find what works for you.
Be Yourself - People know bullshit when they see and hear it. Be professional always but be yourself. Like to make jokes? Go ahead. Are you serious and to the point (this is me) then do that. Take who you are and incorporate it into your performance.
Have Fun - Some people will have to do one speech and that’s it but for us who do this for a living if you’re not enjoying it, why are you doing it?
Remember Why You’re There - You’re not there to just get through this and put it behind you like an unpleasant chore. You’re there to inform, persuade, educate, update, etc. Put everything you can into it. Believe in it. If you don’t, neither will the audience.
You Will Get Better - Like anything in life the more you do it the better you’ll get. It’s impossible not to. There’s absolutely no way your one hundredth speech will not be better than your first.

Here is the longest I have ever written. My really heavy trips that are like a sequels to one another and they are totally connected. Sorry for the bad English - not my main language. I also will write only about the first trip this time - it took me so long, so only if you are interested in me sharing the 2nd and the 3rd trip with you, only then I will write them.
Fast backstory - mid 35, married, a 2 year old kid, running my own business. Started with MJ 12 years ago, then couple years later met Lucy and since then that is my base to every trip - sometimes pure, sometimes mixing. For many years I have been tripping alone in doses range 200-500. Mostly for fun. Never less, but also never higher. Never less, because thought that it was boring, but never higher because I was scared loosing control and do something that would hurt me, especially since I was going always solo. And for past 2 years I didn't trip much- didn't felt the need and didn't have much time. Also important note for the story - my wife is a doctor and she is against any use of any substances and we had an agreement with her, that even if I decide to use it, than I have to promise her that I will do it in a way she wouldn't know about it. I never lie to her ever, but I lie only about when I trip, saying that I just stay at work late. I feel really bad for it. But I was tripping way before I met her and she said that she would never ever be with a man, who uses any drugs. I know she would not divorce me because of it, but I still leave her out of it. So I trip usually outside, in rented places. Or overnight in the living room of our house - she is a heavy sleeper, so I don't need to lie then, I just trip and join her in the bed near the morning. Story will be about 3 very heavy trips I had this year. SO, here goes!
Prequel trip, Short prequel - it was last summer, was tripping in the wooden rented cabin. I dropped around 700 (first time over my 500 limit). It was by accident, I took the wrong batch. I dropped thinking 6 tabs of 75, but I accidentally took to my drive the 120 tabs (understood the mistake only when got back home), and I added mushrooms to the mix as well. Long story short - my first comatose state, lying on the floor for hours , experiencing "death", flying into the cosmos and experiencing the meaning of life. I will quote myself from the last reddit post I made a year ago:
"I felt like there's just laws of gravity Because felt like gravity is the only force that travels anywhere Without knowledge of time it just exists And it felt like we are just energy floating around the space. And that everything we know and see around, sounds and feelings - all that is just to set boundaries for this energy to be contained in one place. Without my shell, my history, memories and emotions I will just scatter, like energy of supernova, all light particles fly from the epicentre away into the darkness... Death. And life - is what contains this energy, let's it develop and sparkle up to the last day. Life is fucking beautiful"
So yeah, my first real dive into the deep. Time stretched to infinity, never ending trip and me not existing and not being able to see my own hands. I thought a lot about that experience and if I ever should try the heavy dose again. Tried to find a trip sitter for myself that I could trust, but never did and decided to leave it at that for some time.
1st trip - Winter 2023. I am at a very low point in my life - tired, some business struggles with profit, same at home and the toddler kid tested our marriage. I didn’t trip for around 4 months, never had a chance to take a break, but I decided that it is enough. I rented a AirBnB house (the owner lived in other house just 40 metres away) with an inside pool, took LSD with me more than I needed or planned to take. I didn't intend to take a hero dose that night, but was to lazy to unpack it and cut it, because mine comes not perforated, so I took everything, around 20 tabs of 100ug. So I relax during the day, visit sauna and the pool and closer to midnight I had a time to reflect on the life crisis I was in. I tried to think about positive solutions and how to cheer myself up. I usually drop tabs at midnight, so by getting closer to the start I become sadder and even more angry by the life I was living, how unfair to me it was, that I have to go that long, pay so much, lie about just to take a small break. The break I thought I deserved the most.
So i take the strip, look at it and just go YOLO - I cut it in half and consume around 1000ug by 22:00. The real effects started already on 10min and around 20min they become intense. And at that point I became mad as hell - firstly I started to yell and curse. I decided to record myself on the phone (just the sound), so I can reflect on the trip next day. I just walked around the house shouting and whining about my life crisis, about how nobody gives a fuck, how I am tired of working my ass off and still have to go that far -to rent a house, drive somewhere and hide from my family members just to have a chill night and take a small break. Around 1 hour pass (it was the last time I looked at the phone clock) and that was when whole hell breaks loose - I start to demolish the house in anger. I break furniture, I destroy the rags and curtains, I broke the window while still continue to yell "I don't fucking care anymore". I swear I saw how the lights turned up in the owners house and I knew - that is it... He will call the police and the most intense part of the trip I will spend in jail. I grab the phone and run to the pool and sauna area, close the door behind me, turn on all the lights and prepared for the worse. There were tinted windows in the poll area all around and since I turned all the lights and it was dark outside - everyone should be able to see what is happening inside, especially the owner. I lifted the heavy marble coffee table over my head and at top of my lungs I yelled "I give you 5 minutes to stop me, or I will through this table it the glass sauna door". (The important note here is that the pool area had an installed radio station and speakers, so some random "relax" station was on all the time playing random songs while all of this unfolded)
So I just stand there, half naked, with coffee table over my head, waiting for someone to enter. I waited for the police lights to show up. I think I saw somebody to press his face against the tinted window to look inside, so I yelled again "If you don't stop me now, than all of this is and everything that will fallow is your fault" At that point I was blaming not just the owner, but absolutely everyone - my wife, my kid, my employees, myself. "I earned this time, I earned to have my rest, I earned all of this and I will prove it to you! If you are not stopping me now, than I am right! And no matter how crazy you will think I am, I will prove you that LSD is the key to all the questions" At that time the conception of the time started to blur, like there was no start or end point to anything. I started to talk like if I was from the future refering to this present moment (I am quoting myself here, because those words are recorded on my phone) "This trip ended, now is morning and you are not stopping me yet - that means I am right, I was always right and I deserve this insignificant resting hours in this whole eternity"... And still nobody was coming in. I gave up and dropped the coffee table on the floor. At that point my body started to shut down. I felt down on the floor, I could not see my hands or body. I tried to get up, but I was falling every time as though my body was disintegrating. I felt my heart stopping, like if I was having a cardiac arrest. I was not being able to take a breath and was choking. A huge pain in my chest as the life was leaving my body. I felt the blood stopping in my neck . Lights started randomly to turn off, turn on, music fading in and away. I though someone entered the room as I was dying on the floor. The roof of the house collapsing and falling on top of me. The huge amount of pressure against my head as my skull cracked open. Darkness and just like white noise for eternity. Just random rays of light and immense force of gravitation ripping me to shreds.
And at this point some magical shit started to happen, that even till this day I am convinced was real and still not sure how to explain it. 2nd and 3rd trip only convinced me even more, but that story will be later. The first thing I heard after eternal darkness was the radio - the titanic song by Celine DIon. But the word were not the same, she was talking to me. Like some entity started to talk to me through different songs on the radio. I can't remember the words exactly, but the titanic song was that they (entities) understand my pain, that they know I am tired, but that in the end of life we will be all together and my pain and suffering will be over. Then the song changed and now it is some jazz song where the male voice is arguing with female voice about why he (male voice was representing me) has to suffer through this life, to be that alone in his struggles and the female voice was trying to convince him that it is all worth it at the end. The next song (It's Raining men) was saying that I am good man, that I have to continue finding moments also for my own pleasure and I have the right for the rest I deserved. The mirror appeared in front of me and I saw reflection of my tired face. Then I saw my phone that was switching through all the good pictures of the life I was living - mostly photos of how happy are my kid and wife, how much love I gave them and that I should not give up on life. I saw the photos that were transferred to my home HDD for storage and should not be on my phone. And songs were changing from one to another, sometimes fast. Sometimes playing full length and sometimes not even playing for 5 seconds and I know that no radio station would prank me like this. Some other familiar song switched and the words said that I had to man up, to be strong, that life is full of shit and that I need to be strong to get through it. That all the entities on the "Other side" will be patiently waiting for me, when I will fulfil my purpose here on Earth. That the universe will still hit me hard, that my life will be challenging, but since I dove so deep and for the first time looked behind the curtains of how the thing work in this universe, saw the "Other Side" - I will be rewarded from time to time, that they will help me be strong and be n the right path. And that I was right - I deserved the rest, I deserved to get a break and that I will get this brake this time, but I should not push my luck any further.
At this point I started to have a feeling of love. Same feeling I had when I met my future wife and fell in love with her. I started asking if this female entity was some kind of form of my wife or her soul, or her astral projection? Why do you care so much? And she said nothing, but also did not denied it. I felt the urge to fight for my life, fight no matter the difficulties. To fight and do everything possible to make my family happy, to protect them and be there when they need me. My vision started to get back, I saw the roof of the pool area. I was lying on the floor, the bright light was still on. I looked on the sides and found my phone nearby. I rested myself against the wall and noticed that it was around 4 in the morning (6 hours into the trip). The last "custom" song started to play on the radio - the woman sang about if she chose the right guy in her life to say YES to. She also told me that I should ask for help and share this experience with my wife. I involuntarily grabbed my phone and opened up the chat with my wife. As I wrote "Sorry, I messed up, I need something to tell you, call me" the song changed to her being certain I am the right man for her to marry. And here I finally started to taking back control on my actions and I erased almost everything except for "sorry", and the song changed to depressed tone, that maybe she was wrong in choosing me. I started to type same message again and the song became positive again. And in the end I just sent to my wife on word - "sorry". That was the moment the song ended, the radio switched to forecast, told me that the day will be sunny and warm (we don't have warm days in winter, there was snow outside) and wished me a great day.
And here the magic ended, like if someone flipped the switch. Radio started to play usual retro songs with no changed lyrics. I tried to stand up, but I could not do it right away. I felt a sharp pain on the forehead. It felt like I hit the head, so apparently I really did fall on the floor head first. The trip was ending really fast, the memory started to get back to me as I started to have more control over my hands and feet. I grabbed the phone again and checked if it was still recording - it was. I started to look around and saw the coffee table flipped on the side. I remembered how I demolished the whole house. I got up and made my way to the closed to door, that was leading to the living room. I was so afraid and I was certain that there will be someone - police or at least the owner waiting for me. I opened the door, turned the lights... the house was fucking intact! I thought that I was tripping and that is just an illusion, but the more I went through the rooms, I didn't see even a tiny bit of destruction. I destroyed so many things, that felt so real, how furniture broke, how kitchen appliances and ceramic broke into small pieces smashing against the wall and floors.... Nothing! I tripped hundreds of times before and always knew what was real and what was not. But this time I still don't know how to explain it. Even the "broken" window was intact. I ran back to the pool area and looked for the cracks on the floor, since the coffee table I threw was heavy to break the tiles. And I did find a small crack right underneath where the table landed, so it meant that at least the coffee table I really did throw that night. But that was much later than I destroyed everything else, how can I remember the coffee table and hallucinate everything else. I remembered that I had recording on the phone. I hid in the bedroom and started listening - I really did yell on top of my lungs almost for an hour and then I heard some noises, but nothing that can be defined as 100% of something breaking. Yeah, some furniture sounds, maybe something fell couple of times on the floor but no glass breaking or anything else. But I could swear by how real it was, that I did all of this.
But still there was other problem - I really did yell a lot and there is just no way the owner or his family members would not hear me. My windows were open through out the night. I looked through the curtains to see if owners windows were open and they were. So there is just no way he could not hear me yelling almost for 1 hour, promising to destroy his house. Imagine you rent out a house and hear someone yelling rants and wants to destroys your house, and you hear something happening inside. I would certainly called the cops if I was in his shoes. " But Ok, ok.... Even if he didn't call the cops, he most certainly will have questions in the morning" - I thought. I went through the house 5 times more and except for the crack in the tiles in the pool area, there was no sign of anything being destroyed or damaged. And even the crack was not that noticeable. I went to the bed, where I laid till the morning and started to think through all possible explanations I would say to the owner and all possible question he could have.
The morning came and my wife called - told me she just opened the chat and saw my "Sorry" asking what I meant. I said that I thought I would be home earlier from my work tonight, but had to return back so wrote her "Sorry". Matter closed. But then I remembered the request of the entity - to ask my wife for help and to share this experience with her. Ok, if I will tell her and try to prove my point, she would think I am crazy, or I have a psychosis or something - and that would certainly not make thing better in our relationship. But not asking her for help - I felt that I failed her astral projection from the future, that it would somehow change my future and the life I will have after I die. I really didn't know what to think and what to do (after 2nd and 3rd trip it became a bit clear)
And for the AirBnB - I got out, closed the house, left the key under the mat, and with the pupils still wide as possible, sat in my car and drove to owners gate waiting for him to get out and talk to me about what happened this night. But he looked through the window and just smiled, waved at me and opened the gate remotely... I drove away. In 2 hours his wife wrote a review on the AirBnB that I was a great guest, tidy, quiet, etc. That they would be happy to see me again and would recommend me to other AirBnB hosts. I was shocked!
Like WTF? Did they really not hear me? Or they just decided to close the matter, not talk to me and hope that I would never get back?... And then I started to think about what happened that night. Quote: "And that I was right - I deserved the rest, I deserved to get a break and that I will get this brake this time, but I should not push my luck any further" - that what I was told that night. Did they (entities) protect me this time? Was that something they showed me, that I could've done, but I didn't? Or they fixed the destruction I made and shielded me from the owner by isolating the sound? I was ready to even believe in this kind of miracles.... And I still think that something not normal happened that night.
So, this is the trip report. I hope you like it and it wasn't boring. Any questions welcomed. And if you want me to write 2nd and 3rd part - let me know.

But why do I often feel like I have to? If you look at my Spotify, you'll find a bit of absolutely everything (no exaggeration). I can find the joy and beauty in all genres of music.
I'll play Muse, followed by Bad Bunny, followed by Kanye, followed by Taylor Swift, followed by Lana Del Rey, followed by John Mayer, followed by Kendrick Lamar, followed by Old Crow Medicine Show, followed by Pink Floyd, followed by Sech, followed by Jack Johnson, followed by The National, followed by Rosalia, followed by My Chemical Romance, followed by Burna Boy, followed by Phoebe Bridgers, followed by Marc Anthony, followed by Sza, followed by Blink 182, followed by Tiesto, followed by the fcking Jonas Brothers, and ON and on and on............
And I don't want to pick anyone over the other. I just press "play" on my "liked songs" playlist and jump from one end of the spectrum to the other and confusing my car mates.
Why is this so weird? Or am I not as unique as people try to make me feel?

My favorite movie is the Lion King so I was very excited for the show. I enjoyed it a lot. The trapice entertainment was phenomenal and the singing from the singers and the dances were great. I had an amazing time.
But one thing I didn’t like is them changing the tune and lyrics for some parts. It makes sense if they needed to make adjustments to fit in time, but in this case it seemed as if they made the changes for for the sake of making changes. The only thing I didn’t like about the show.
The next day I watched Beauty and the beast at Hollywood studios and watching the musical without any noticeable changes to the songs was wonderful. I just wished they did the game for the songs for the Lion king as well.
Edit to add what changes I noticed. But it’s been a few days so my memory may be bad.
Circle of Life: no complaints
I Just Can't Wait to Be King: Did I miss this? Was it only the chorus? I wanted to hear Simba sing.
Hakuna Matata: Timone and Pumbas dialog is changed. (Makes sense for the flow of the show but I’m still complaining)
Be Prepared: no complaints. Loved it.
Can You Feel the Love Tonight: I think they changed the tune of the music or something. It was hard for me to “sing along” in my head.
The Lion Sleeps Tonight: Seemed like they didn’t eat too say “the Lion sleeps tonight” we just kept on singing the “ A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh”
Again writing so this down I feel like I must remember things incorrectly but I did feel something different with some songs.

Just back from a glorious 9 days in Rome. There's no other place like it and I felt so lucky to be able to go, My three initial aims in this trip were: (a) see my hometown hero Bruce Springsteen amongst my ancestral people (they literally sing along to not just the lyrics but the guitar riffs etc too) as well as (b) sink or swim as I continue to practice my Italian language skills (I've been taking lessons with a tutor for 2 years but there's nothing like just being thrown into the world of the language to sharpen up and get very comfortable conversing) and (c) do hours upon hours of photo walks (I ended up averaging 30k steps a day every day aside from the two sick days).
In brief, I split the trip up into two halves: the first half I stayed up on Avantino hill (it's very close to the Circo Massimo, so it was an easy spot for the concert) and the second half in a quiet pocket of Trastevere a block or two west of the river south of Ponte Paladino.
My Avantino air bnb host gave me some great neighborhood places in nearby Testaccio (another wonderful neighborhood that tourists don't seem to wander into very much), and I found a fantastic and slightly quirky place for espresso also in Testaccio (I'm an espresso fiend).
If you haven't been to Avantino, it almost reminded me of the Italian Beacon Hill (for those familiar with Boston). It had the feeling of a Tuscan village that just happened to be somehow in the middle of Rome. It's where the famous key hole is that frames St. Peters, as well as the Giardino degli Aranci and Santa Sabina's, which is a gorgeous church from 422 AD. Staying here felt very relaxing and peaceful and even though some tourists did make their way to the keyhole every day, it had a very tranquil vibe, despite the fact that Circo Massimo was 5 minutes north and Testaccio was 5 minutes south.
Given that my favorite thing to do on vacation is just wander around with my Ricoh GR, I would begin every day in Avantino thusly:
Get up, have an espresso at Tram Depot (always at the bar), walk around for a few hours and just see what I can find. Maybe I'd get a quick breakfast bite at the outstanding Casa Manco in the Testaccio market. Then I'd go to for a big lunch at the wonderful Pecorino (also in Testaccio). This lunch would usually last an hour or two. It's a very cozy restaurant and the waiters are all very nice and so I'd often bring a book along with me or a notebook or I'd transfer pictures from my camera to my phone for editing in between courses. Lunch was often my largest meal of the day and sometimes my only "meal" of the day. (In normal life I train for marathons and am in the gym often and I'm super on top of my macros and making sure I get X amount of protein etc...on this trip, this was not the case.)
If I couldn't get into Pecorino for lunch or didn't end up in that area for lunch time, I'd either go there for dinner when they opened, or another excellent Testaccio spot called Perilli's. (There's also Piato Romano, which had excellent food but not quite the same cozy ambience as Pecorino.) I pretty much mainlined Amatriciana and Carbonara along with involtini, braised oxtail, and as much tiramisu as I could politely hurl into my maw. I like establishing some routines or rituals when I travel, especially when I travel solo, to help give the trip some grounding. It's also nice when you are far from home to be able to walk into a place where people begin to recognize you and accept you into their little circle, even if it is temporary.
For the second half of the trip in Trastevere...I got COVID! Sort of. The day after the concert, I noticed a heavy feeling in my upper airway/chest, but I figured it must have been all the second hand smoke I inhaled during the concert (from my observations, Romans thoroughly enjoy cigarettes). I wear an oura ring and while my HRV was low, nothing else stood out. That night though I developed a fever and spent the entire next day in bed. I was bummed, but frankly, after 5 nights in a row of being out from 8am to midnight, I needed a rest day anyway, so it wasn't bad timing. (How's that for spin?)
Not sure what my actual temperature was, but my oura ring said I was 4.3 degrees above my nightly average baseline, so I'm guessing my temperature was around 100-101 as my normal temperature on a thermometer seems to be around 96.6. I spent a good chunk of the next day in bed also, just napping (which was fairly pleasant as the cool breeze came in through the window, carrying the sounds of the three churches on Avantino, not to mention the bird calls and the pleasing sounds of people enjoying their meals on the street below). My baseline temp deviation was only +2 degrees the second night and by the end of the day, I felt good enough to have an appetite, but not quite good enough to stand upright, so I ordered some Trapizzino on uber eats (the polpetti/sugo and the melanzane were both glorious) and that revived me. By the next morning I was better!
(In the end, I think this was covid because while I only had the fever for the two sick days, I lost most of my sense of smell sometime Thursday afternoon despite feeling fine. So maybe Covid? In the end, I missed out on a trip to Ostia Antica and a food tour, but the trip still felt extremely full of experiences.)
The rest of my time in Trastevere was great. Just wandering all around those crazy little winding streets, snapping away, always fueld by a caffè from the gruff but character-rich Bar San Calisto or the one across from my apartment, which was called "404 Name Not Found." I did eat lunch one day at Da Enzo which was good but not sure it's worth the hype given how much excellent food I had at restaurants with very little fanfare. Da Enzo ended up being a great experience though because when they asked me how many and I said, "da solo," they asked if I would share the table if there was another single. I said sure, and ended up being paired up with a fellow endurance athlete, this one from France. Just one of the many fanciful moments that can happen when you travel solo. We also hung out again the next day for most of the morning and afternoon, and this was a sort of theme for my trip: running into people left and right, connecting, and making fast friends. This is how I found myself getting invited to a Roman birthday party at the Piazza Testaccio one night for what felt like my 10th "out past midnight" night of the trip (again, a far cry from my normal life of "in bed at 9").
In the end, what I will take away from this trip are a few things:
-the magic of learning a second language, and noticing your skills improving with every chat. Just the pleasure of hearing the Italian language and getting to practice it all day, every day (while making many mistakes). If you're going to Rome or Italy in general, I highly recommend you try and get yourself up to A2 in Italian. It's such a pleasurable language to speak and embrace, even if it's just at a beginner's level.
-the many conversations I had with shop owners or fellow bar patrons and the high-five I would give myself in my head when they would ask "if you're American, how come your accent is so good?" (Again, I'm a B1 speaker on my best day, but the compliment would always make my day given my beginner's nervousness at the start of the trip). A few times, people even just began talking to me, assuming I was Italian. (I am Italian-American, but having a Roman just start talking to you as one of their own meant a lot to the part of me that loves being Italian and feels a strong connection to the country, even from afar.)
-The Italian crowd at the Bruce show. Just a blast to sing along with them into the Roman sky, surrounded by ruins.
-Mornings in Avantino spent in quiet contemplation in Santa Sabina or St Anselmo. A few times, the respective organists were practicing and I got my own concert.
-After my two days sick in bed, when I returned to the Tram Depot and Casa Manco for sustenance, the proprietors both asked me one version or another or "tutto bene?" (as if to say, where ya been?). The man at Casa Manco blurted out "buon tornato!" when he saw me approach. Very warm-hearted people and they made me feel at home (along with the Pecorino staff, who were very kind to me and likely a little amused, wondering, why is this random American dude here every day eating for 2 hours?)
-A basic observation: I appreciated how people across seemingly different walks of life all talk to each other as equals. I saw street sweepers chatting with businessmen in the street in a way that would seem less likely in America. Maybe this is a class thing? Perhaps the gap in salaries is not so large like it is in America, and therefore people feel like one giant middle class together? Related: many younger Italians I spoke to told me how hard it was to live in Rome as a young person, as salaries were not very good, and unless you had 1-2 roommates or parents who could pay your rent, you would most likely have a longer commute coming into the city every day.
-The fact that behind every nook and cranny and around every corner, there is something spectacular to see. Whether it's the ruins that stand adjacent to the jewish ghetto in a reminder of the layers upon layers of civilizations that once existed in this city, or just the way the morning light creates a shaft down some medieval cobblestone street, it is a magical place to walk around. By the end of each very long day, my mind was just fried, both from working overtime with trying to speak Italian and from the sheer overstimulation of seeing so much beauty.
Anyway, this was not my first trip to Rome, but it was my first trip in MANY years, and it was precisely the life affirming and humanity affirming trip I needed this year after a rough and precarious start to 2023. Next trip, I will likely fly into Rome, spend 3-ish days there, and then head somewhere to the southern coast. As much as I love Roman food, it would be nice to be inundated with fresh sardines the same way this trip found me OD'ing on carbonara.
Anyway, thank you to Rome and it's people for one of the best times in my 39 years.
​
(If anyone is curious, I'll be posting many photos from this trip at my IG @ rovinglumix.

Jeffy: my name is Jeffy so I can see the shirt but let me tell you like watching Brian's a bad father this probably going to hurt. When I step on track and when I watch you hide your true self I say why do that? You can handle these blows but I'm going to stab a pencil in your nose and you won’t know. Your Modern episodes now are about as funny old cutaway scenes but I left this Kid after season 3 finished like green bean canned.
Stewie: look common sense is something this dumbass can’t learn. But your entire fan base was like SML in Feb. 2021 crashed and burned but it’s time to do what Logan's job and leave this fucker burned and put ashes in urn. Make like Louis and go die and more importantly for these disses here’s how I describe your personality in one sentence “why are you like this?” I'm playing this puppet like Rupert, a toy, but this raps made you a really bad boy.
Jeffy: “You said I was a bad boy?” AHHH! Are you fucking high?! Seth has to be on meth if he thinks Ted 2 was funny I’ll smash this football head like an egg call me the Easter Bunny, Daddy! In this fight I'm Chad you make America Dad sad. In this fight I was the best. Looking like my reject Daddy and Uncle Luigi by the way you're dressed but it’s looking I killed a Million ways in this west. I will teach that the Simpsons. Over your shitshow is Best nothing about your ego says you have brain but time to bring the pain!
Stewie: you're the goddamn puppet, but your lines are poorly sewed, and your disses hardly tickled who do you think I am Elmo? Your channel’s humor makes me sick! Sick! You're like Joe’s actor, an annoying tick! Flow straight out of the baby bottle it never dries out but by 2017 all fans over 15 had left and died out! Looks like this dumbass bit off more than he could chew but looks like you're just a piece of Apu's Poo!

Who Won?

YAY! Chapter 4 already done and ready for posting! WOOO! I really hope that you enjoy it, dear readers!
I've Been Reincarnated as a Bunny Girl?! (Chapter 4)
by
ShadowDragon88
"I love when the merchant caravan comes to town!" Valay cheered from where he was sitting on Kiana's shoulders, making his soon-to-be sixteen-year-old big sister wince. At age nine, the twins were being accompanied by Kiana as they walked through main street in town. Twice a year the merchant caravan, often accompanied by adventurers or mercenaries as guards, came to Starlight Rose. Ever since the destruction of The Spire, the town had started to see more traffic as travelers no longer had to worry about traveling through the narrow gaps in the mountain range, past a source of evil. In the six years since its destruction, Starlight Rose had bloomed and doubled its population.
​
Walking past the stalls and the games, Kiana smiled, feeling a festive atmosphere. She looked down at Malay, who was wearing a seafoam green dress, the young wolbet not caring that it had been a hand-me-down from Kiana, and clutching a giant blue stuffed fox almost as big as she was. Kiana was wearing a bright yellow sundress, having stated that on such a warm day, it was the best option to help keep from getting overheated. Her mother and sister had both smiled knowingly, not the least bit tricked by Kiana's professions. Kiana would often just not think about it.
​
Valay, in contrast, was wearing a simple red shirt and brown shorts and some small stick-on bandages on his shins and knees. The young boy wolbet was holding a purple dragon plush. Kiana had won them from a game booth. It was the classic 'throw a ball at a stack of bottles to knock them over' game, and like a cliche, she had seen her little brother throw a ball, hit the stack in the dead center, and they didn't move an inch. That's when big sister had stepped in. Kiana looked back at the booth... or rather where it had been. The attendant was still standing there, staring in a daze, as only half of the structure still remained.
​
"I'm glad you two like it," Kiana said, picking her brother up off her shoulders and setting him down next to his twin. Mirabelle rubbed up against his leg, making him giggle. The tiny snake, that had been small enough to sit coiled comfortably in the palm of a younger Kiana's hand, was now the size of a Saint Barnard, and just as affectionate as one. The blue-green snake had a tendency to try and sneak food, mainly cookies, when she thought she could get away with it, and had developed quite the set of sad puppy eyes when caught.
​
"So Kiana," Malay asked, looking up with her forest green eyes, a twinkle in them, "gunna go meet with Davtio later?"
​
Kiana smiled and rolled her eyes. Malay loved asking Kiana about her love life, or rather lack thereof. The older girl reached over and ruffled her little sister's headfur.
​
"Davtio and I are just friends," she said, having the day before gone on a walk with the elf-boy from her graduating class, gently letting him down after he had made his courting intentions known. The day after Kiana's birthday, which would be two days after the biannual festival, she was going to be leaving Starlight Rose to become a traveling adventurer. Davtio, with his long and practically glowing golden locks and eyes the color of the deep blue sea, had been disappointed, but he understood.
​
Jorba the goblin boy, however, had been far less formal as well as far less respectful with his own declaration. Said green-skinned bat-eared boy had walked over to where Kiana was retying her new forest green boots and given her bottom a swat, just below her cotton tail, puffing out his chest and informing Kiana that he had decided she was the finest female in their age group in the town and therefore, will be his woman. Slowly, Kiana had straightened herself and turned around, her eyes glowing with a blue light. With a swipe of her legs and a downward punch, that Kiana had been careful not to be too hard with, she effectively punched the disgusting goblin, literally, into the ground. Still alive and not crippled, but definitely in a lot of pain.
​
"I know that he liiiiiikes you, though," Malay said, rocking back and forth on her heels, reaching down to stroke Mirabelle's head, making the large reptile loosely wrap herself around the young wolbet girl's ankles.
​
"I don't feel the same way and I told him as much, so we've agreed to remain friends," Kiana said, making her sister let out an exasperated sigh.
​
"GAH! That is so just like you, Kiki!" Malay said, using the name she and Valay had called Kiana shortly after they had first learned how to talk. "Someone likes you, but you're just happy being just friends!"
​
"Hey, friends are awesome to have," Kiana said, picking Malay up and setting her on her shoulders, taking Valay's hand/paw into her own. Malay just rolled her eyes and continued to hug her fox.
​
"So," Valay piped up, glad that the girls had quit talking about romance stuff, "whatcha gunna buy with the money you saved up?" Valay was speaking of the jingling pouch of coins on Kiana's hip. She had earned extra coin around town doing things like babysitting and helping Mr. Fresto build a new stone wall around his garden, and the like. Making deliveries for the new offta restaurant in town had been fun for the teen bunny, and not because offta was the name for what turned out to be pizza in this world either! Tapping into her powers, she was able to sprint all across town and even over to Lake Phantom and back, often in under a minute.
​
"Well, I've already bought a bunch of supplies and a pack for my journey," Kiana said, taking note of Valay's ears drooping a bit, as well as sensing that Malay's ears were probably doing the same.
​
"So... you really mean to leave?" Malay asked from Kiana's shoulders. Kiana smiled and rubbed her little sister's leg, before rubbing her little brother's head.
​
"Yeah, I really do. But like I've told papa... repeatedly, actually, I'll come back to visit a whole bunch! And I'll be able to tell you all some cool stories about my travels!" Kiana said, brightening their moods.
​
"Are you going to learn magic?" Malay asked. As the twins edged closer towards their tenth birthday, that meant that they were nearing when they'd be old enough to take an exam to determine their magical abilities. Malay had accidentally turned a handful of flowers to stone when she sneezed at age seven. She also accidentally set a patch of grass on fire just outside her bedroom window after a bad dream a couple months back. According to a very excited Felixin, these were signs that Malay had a high aptitude for magic, and might actually be a sorceress, someone born with raw magical power within them.
​
Felixin went on to explain that anyone, with study and practice and skill, could eventually learn to use magic, but people like that fell under the category of a wizard. He went on to explain that witches were similar to wizards, but were more like hippies out dancing in the woods. Sorcerers and sorceresses were born with raw magical power already in them, that as they grew older, they needed to learn how to control, lest it become dangerous to them and those around them.
​
Druids, he continued with his explanation, were similar to witches, but less studious and more concentrating on attuning themselves to the energies of the surrounding natural world. He also said they had a tendency to eat certain mushrooms and fungus that they claimed could open one's third eye, but her father dismissed that notion as them just being addled by the chemicals in said fungi. Clerics were also magical, but their magic derived from whichever god they'd devoted themselves to, much like paladins, but with more study and significantly less combat training.
​
Finally, there were warlocks. Felixin was not shy about making his feelings regarding warlocks known. Instead of taking the time to learn and practice and concentrate and actually earn their magical power, they were rare people who instead bound themselves to an entity of great magical power, often something very sinister. In exchange for this power, they would do their new master's bidding, oftentimes not even fully understanding why such entities would want such requests done. He even recounted one warlock whose only task was to go out on the road and find a specific boulder, and then move it three inches south. Said warlock just shrugged when asked why, and stated that it was the only task his master ever asked of him.
​
What Felixin apparently didn't know was that there was a final category. The monk. When the master dragon monk had come to evaluate Kiana, after he had recovered from his shock, he had explained that monks were ordinary people who trained both their minds and their bodies. They would learn to tap into their inner power, their ki, and harness it through their bodies. This was of course after years and years of training and meditation. Of the different kinds of monks, the dragon monks were the most powerful. Once they passed a certain threshold, they would become as powerful as a dragon; which kind of dragon depended on which advanced school of training they most identified with. According to the master, Kiana practically oozed the aura of a storm dragon, which was capable of moving as fast as lightning.
​
"Kiki!" Valay called, tugging on Kiana's hand. She shook herself and smiled down at the wolbet boy. Kiana looked up in time to see Mirabelle stealthily reaching up at a nearby picnic table where those sitting weren't paying any attention and was trying to drag a plate with an entire rotisserie chicken on it nearer to the edge. She snapped her finger, making Mirabelle recoil and slither right back over to her legs, making the sad eyes at her. Kiana ignored the big orange orbs with the black slits and returned her attention to her brother.
​
"Sorry, buddy, I guess I got lost in my memories there for a sec."
​
The boy rolled his eyes and pointed to a large red and white tent that covered a wide area. There were no walls, and plenty of people were milling about inside, looking at the various goods. What had caught Valay's eye were the weapons. Already the boy had begged their mother to teach him swordfighting and, only recently, Pumala had agreed. She took note of how quickly Valay had taken to practicing the basics every day after school, always starting back to stance one. Kiana was certain that he was going to grow up to be quite the fighter.
​
"Okay, let's take a look and see what they've got for sale," Kiana said, turning them to an opening, Mirabelle following close behind. Together they walked down the set up shelves and displays. Valay was entranced by the swords and daggers, especially the throwing knives and shurikens. Scratch that, Kiana thought to herself with a giggle as she set her little sister down to look at the magical staves, thinking about how much Valay loved hiding and planting stink bombs for pranks and using smoke bombs to make his escapes. He'll probably grow up to be a great ninja or something.
​
Keeping her younger siblings and Mirabelle in sight, Kiana started to look through the different weapons. There were plenty made from low-quality materials that would probably break upon the first real usage, including an ornate-looking gold sword encrusted with jewels. She stopped just past the flails and nunchucks, spying several different tetsubos. The tetsubo was a weapon of the ancient samurai, at least that was the case for her home world. They were long, thick wooden clubs, in this case as tall as Kiana was, so around five feet in length. Going down the sides of the weapons, stopping only at the ends at the tops and just before the handles at the bottoms, were rounded or spiked metal rivets.
​
She pushed past some ornately carved ones, and spotted what appeared to be a plain brown tetsubo. It was polished and its rivets were spiked and black. The handle was wrapped in a comfortable-feeling leather. Some instinct deep within her liked this weapon, it liked it very much. Carrying it with one hand, she approached a man wearing a lapis lazuli-colored turban, and some matching lapis with gold trim robes. His skin was a pitch-black, with a shock of long white hair, signifying that he was a dark elf.
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"How much for the tetsubo?" Kiana asked, hearing Valay and Malay hurrying to her side. She could practically feel their wide eyes staring in wonder at the weapon.
​
The merchant smiled, his purple eyes twinkling. "So this is the weapon you have selected? Quite the interesting choice."
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"Uh, thanks?" Kiana said, now looking the tetsubo over and wondering if it was cursed, or if the guy before her was going to turn out to be a demon or something and that every item in the shop was cursed in some karmic way like the old cliche.
​
"It is made from a healthy branch of steelwood. Note that I said made, and not carved. As exquisite as a weapon or armor made from carved steelwood is, it pales in comparison to one that is made with secret techniques to sing the form it was always supposed to be straight from the trees themselves. Doing so ensures that any weapon or armor crafted this way will never dull or break. And the price will, of course, reflect as much..."
​
"Ah," Kiana said, understanding what the merchant before her was getting at.
​
"That particular tetsubo I cannot part with for less than a platinum," he said.
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"Sold," Kiana said, pulling open her pouch and jangling it as her hand disappeared inside. After a moment of her rooting around and sifting coins aside, she found what she was looking for. Out she pulled a single platinum coin. Her brother and sister, as well as the merchant, looked at Kiana in shock.
​
"Where'd you get a platinum piece?" Malay asked, watching transfixed as Kiana handed the coin over to the still stunned dark elf, who took it and slipped it into a pocket in his robes.
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"I found it just outside of town, when I beat down a giant shambling plant creature-thing. I think it ate a traveling merchant or something, 'cause I found a pouch with ten of them in it," Kiana whispered with a wink. She looked up to see that the merchant had the coin back in his hands and was examining it with a jeweler's loupe, nodding in approval as he pocketed both and gave Kiana an award-winning smile.
​
"A happy transaction," he said, his voice much more jovial than it had been, "please, look around some more for any more weapons that might catch your eye. And please, remember to ask for F'nnickly the Weapon Merchant if ever you're in the cities of Thassles, Ghostflower, or Midnight Tree. I have shops in all of them!"
​
"I certainly will," Kiana said, meaning it. She imagined she would be seeing more of this F'nnickly on her travels. She then turned to her brother and sister and knelt down, while the merchant turned to address another customer. "Alright, you two, did you guys find anything you wanted? I'll buy it for you."
​
"But... your birthday money?" Valay asked, looking torn. Kiana gave him and then his twin a kiss on their foreheads.
​
"You're my cute little brother and sister. If I want to spend money on you guys, I will," she said with a warm smile that only grew wider at the sight of the two now sporting excited grins. They both ran off and started to look more earnestly at things that had caught their eyes.
​
"Papa probably won't be too happy with me buying them weapons, but I'm sure he and Mama will teach them how to be responsible with them," she thought. She was still crouched to the twins' level and was about to stand back up, when she spotted something else that caught her eye. It was a pair of seemingly plain polished brass knuckles lying inside a small glass display case on a shelf to her left. They looked to be made of a bright silvery metal. Opening the case and picking them up, they weighed next to nothing, but like the tetsubo, something about them called out to Kiana on a level she couldn't quite identify. Smiling, she stood up with them and tapped F'nnickly on his shoulder.
​
After learning that they were a pair of master-crafted mithril brass knuckles, Kiana bought them for five hundred gold, which was just half of another platinum piece, so she got some change to fill her coin pouch with. Valay was the first to return, carrying a set of shuriken that were enchanted to return to the thrower's hand with a snap of their fingers, a steel dagger, and a chain and sickle that F'nnickly identified as a kusarigama. Kiana had to stop Valay from spinning the weighted end as well as the sickle. Malay returned with a corkscrew oak carved staff that ended with a glowing purple jewel at the top, floating just above the tip. Right below it were human faces carved in, all with sinister-looking grins. It was a swamp dragon staff, meaning that it was great with poison, disease, and paralysis-related spells. With some practice, a dedicated magic user could use it to help with healing very nasty injuries and infections. Together, their purchases ended up costing Kiana another platinum piece plus another fifty gold.
​
Kiana smiled down at her beloved little brother and little sister, seeing their excitement as they marveled at their new equipment. Mirabelle, not understanding just why they were excited, was still wriggling happily nonetheless. Kiana looked around at her town, beyond the merchant booths and the games, looking at all the sights she had grown up again with, feeling a pang of sadness at knowing in two days, she was leaving. She saw all the familiar faces of her neighbors and friends and everyone else in this town she had grown to love. But it was time, and she knew it. And she had meant what she had said, she was going to visit often. Plus, she'd have Mirabelle with her, so she didn't expect she'd feel too homesick.
​
Two Days Later...
​
Kiana's travel pack was fully loaded with spare clothes, food, her mithril knuckles, a couple health potions (not that she was expecting to have to use them), a canteen of fresh water, some alchemical flameless torches, some books, other assorted supplies and, when she was certain no one was looking, Mr. Wolfy. She grabbed her tetsubo and looked at her bedroom, smiling at the bookshelf filled with all sorts of titles and books about faraway lands. Her bed was made, the soft pink comforter that made cold winter nights just so warm. Her closet that was closed, containing a bit fewer dresses than it did a couple days ago, with them safely packed away in her bag. Sighing, she exited.
​
She was wearing her forest green boots with gold trim up the laces. They matched her green and gold hot pants and matching halter top. Kiana hadn't been too sure about leaving her midriff open like this, exposing her grey back and white tummy, but she had to admit that she had a pretty decent range of movement. And besides, compared to some other female, and some male, adventurers out there wearing what were basically bikinis or lingerie, this was much less revealing.
​
Out in the living room, her family was waiting. Pumala stood there, holding Kiana's platinum star-shaped badge, signifying the girl was a registered adventurer. Valay had asked Kiana about the badge that had been hand-delivered by guildmaster Graval the day before, the human man wishing the new adventurer a happy birthday. Kiana had explained that she was now officially an adventurer, but a freelance adventurer. She then had to explain that the local guild was a branch of the international inter-adventurer guild association. For freelance adventurers, a platinum ranking was the highest ranking they could achieve. If they wished to rank higher, they needed to join an official guild, like Unicorn Riot or Phoenix Phist. Basically, the guild in their town was just for beginners. The bunny girl was considering joining a real guild, but wanted to first travel and do some missions, and then look in on the different guilds and find out which one she would be most comfortable with.
​
"Go out there and have an awesome adventure!" Valay said, his voice choking up a bit. He looked away and wiped his eyes before hugging Kiana.
​
"Yeah, and be sure to tell us all about the places you go and the things you do!" Malay said, her own eyes moist. Kiana felt the hot prickle of tears at the back of hers and furiously blinked them away as she returned their hugs.
​
"Count on it," she said with a smile. The two letting go, Pumala stepped forward and pinned the badge on Kiana's halter top, her own eyes misty.
​
"I'm so proud of you, honey-bunny," she said, now doing the hugging. Kiana hugged back, having to blink away some tears again.
​
"I love you, Mama," she said, being kissed on her forehead.
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"I love you too, baby," Pumala said. The older bunny woman, who now had a slight baby bump again, stepped back as her large wolf-man husband strode forward. He tried to look stern, but the silent tears streaming down his face ruined the impression. He threw his arms around Kiana and wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug.
​
"Oh, my little princess is going awaaaaaaaaay!" he sobbed, much to everyone's collective embarrassment.
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"I'll be back to visit, Papa," Kiana said, trying to gently pry his arms off.
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"Be careful out there on the road, sweetie!" he sobbed again, his tail tucked between his legs.
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"I will, Papa, I promise." Kiana smiled as he let go, and walked to the door. She turned and waved to her family, before turning back and opening the door. Just after she took her first step, she felt a jolt and something wrap around her right leg. Looking down, she saw her father, clinging to her leg like a toddler.
​
"Feli, let go of Kiana's leg right this instant!" Pumala called, while the twins, still saddened by their big sister's departure, shared a giggle at their father's antics.
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"Never!" he called back, tightening his grip. Kiana rolled her eyes and smiled back at her mom.
​
"Don't worry, he'll fall off or I'll manage to shake him off before I get to the bridge," she said, starting to walk, albeit with an awkward gait. She whistled and Mirabelle, now sporting a new pink ribbon around her neck, came slithering after. Kiana's friends were near the gate for a send-off, which was made a little awkward by the still sobbing grown wolf clinging to the now mildly annoyed bunny girl's leg. She thanked them all and hugged each one, before stopping at the gate itself. She raised the leg her father was on, and began to shake. After a few moments, Felixin went flying and landed in the dirt with an 'OMPH!' Kiana waited as he got up and dusted himself off, wiping his face with the sleeve of his red robes, and walked over to her.
​
"I love you, Princess," he said, looking Kiana in the eyes and forcing a smile, "from the very day you were born, you were always my little princess, and it's just so hard to see you go. But please, know that I love you, and that not only am I already proud of what you've managed to accomplish, but that I know I'll be proud of the things you do out in the world."
​
Kiana, fresh tears of her own falling, pulled her Papa into one more hug, now the one making it a bone-crushing hug.
​
"I love you, Papa. I'm so lucky that I got to have you and Mama for parents. I'll be back before you know it," she said, wiping her own eyes. Felixin stepped back and continued to smile at his little girl. Kiana smiled back and, snapping her fingers to pull Mirabelle away from a gate guard's unattended bag lunch, the two set off, with Kiana turning back once to wave goodbye, before they finally crossed the bridge, and were on their way out into the wide world.
Name: Kiana
Species: Beasta (Rabbit-Kin)
Age: 16
Skills: Sibling Wrangler, Babysitter, Puppy-Dog Eyes, Master Martial Arts, Brawling, Heavy Weapon Proficiency, Sarcasm Mastery, Eyerolling Mastery, Beast Taming Level 3.
Class: (Official) Master-Level Dragon Monk: Storm Dragon School
Str: 140
Int: 12
Dex: 139
Cha: 12
Wis: 10
Con: 170
Languages: Common
Equipment: Adventurer's Pack, Steelwood Tetsubo, Mastercraft Mithril Knuckles (x2), Rope (25 Ft.), Canteen (Full), Road Rations, Spare Clothes, Bedroll, Health Potion (x2), Books (x3)
Sniffle. And there you have it, folks! I loved writing about Starlight Rose, but now it's time for us, along with Kiana, to explore the wide world! Thanks for reading this new chapter, and be sure to consider leaving a comment or review.
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[Verse 1] I love you because you smile like you’ve killed somebody · I love you because your eyes can get really naughty · I love you because you don’t know how to save your money · And I love you because I’m a vulnerable little cunt I love you because your breath smells like an oasis · I love you and I repeat that on a daily basis · I love you because your jokes are stingy like roses · And I love you because my poor heart is pretty blunt [Chorus] I love how you read my lyrics over text · I love you, and your mystery, and your touch · I love how I never knew what would come next · And I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate · How I wasn’t altered much [Verse 2] I love you because you’re mature, strong and self-indulgent · I love your late night phone calls thinking it is urgent · I don’t really love me but I love you because we’re congruent · And I love you because you said you loved me more [Chorus] I love how you read my lyrics over text · I love you, and your mystery, and your touch · I love how I never knew what would come next · And I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate · Hate, hate you [Bridge] I hate you for fleeing · I hate you for being · The least honest person I’ll ever meet · I hate how you ran · So you could be fine · But do you stop from time to time and think of me? · I love how I hate you · And for hating you, I hate myself too · So that’s why I love you [Chorus] I love how you did this so we could be together · I love you because you’ll bring with you sunny weather · I love how I never knew what would come next · And so I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate · Hate, hate · Myself [Outro] (And this song is pretty bad too · But I hate myself more)

Holis♡ Me llamo Camila
- ¿Género con el que te identifiques? ¿Buscas hacer amistades de algún género en particular?
Me identifico con el género femenino y no busco ningún género en particular.
- Tu edad
21
- ¿De donde sos? (provincia, localidad, barrio, ¡no pongamos direcciones exactas!)
Buenos Aires, zona oeste. Morón.
- ¿Qué estás buscando? ¿Sumarte a un grupo, conocer a alguien, sumar a alguien a un grupete?
Busco personas para jugar jueguitos, también para salir a tomar algo, comer, merendar, salir de joda, ir a eventos otakus, juntarnos
- Contanos un poco sobre vos, ¿cuáles son tus hobbies o intereses? ¿qué te gusta hacer?

• Me gustan los videojuegos, juego mucho valorant y TFT. *Veo anime, dejo algunos favoritos: Naruto, Berserk, Jojo's, Madoka Magica, Monster. *Me gusta ver películas y me gustaría ir más al cine jeje
• Me gusta mucho bailar, de música puedo escuchar casi de todo. Arctic Monkeys, Bad Bunny, The Strokes, The Weeknd, etc(?
• Amo las ciencias naturales. Soy atea. No me gustan las cosas esotéricas ni anticientficias.
• Amo a los animales, soy vegetariana.
• Me gusta leer.

Soy una extraña mezcla entre extrovertida y asocial. (Me re cuesta)
Si te gusta el humor negro, nos vamos a llevar bien ;-;

39F going on 40 very soon, finally understanding that being a functional alcoholic is not functional at all. I own a nice house (in my name, that I pay for), take care of my parents (moved them into my home when one of them was diagnosed with a terrible illness), married for 7 years but no kids, managing my own chronic incurable illness for 11 years (part of the reason why we don’t have kids), successful in my career. I go to an expensive Pilates club, run at the gym for no other reason but to feel that brief rush of endorphins, and don’t look slovenly by any means. People often mistake me for someone who’s 25 and it’s become a running joke at my latest job for some time now.
But nobody sees me on my days off except my husband who feels helpless to control my impulse to get obliterated. Paranoid about weight gain, I chug low carb, low calorie drinks and skip meals. And when the hungover munchies kick in, I indulge and then buffer with laxatives. I chainsmoke to oblivion even though I’m on powerful immunosuppressants that increase your risk of cancer. I contemplate dying quite frequently while drinking in my garden and birdwatching. I cry a lot, but I’ve become great at hiding that too. My dogs can tell when I’m sad, and they offer me snuggles and kisses and this is quite literally the only true and innocent joy I feel in my day to day.
I’ve been arrested twice in the last 10 years for alcohol related offenses, charges dropped for one, full punishment for the second, a DUI. I dazzled everyone at my outpatient 90 day rehab center, claimed it was a once off fluke, a total mistake, although I had been driving drunk for a while, aced all of my urine tests and the interlock system, and then as soon as I was free to, resumed my normal, alcohol fueled life. I will say I don’t drive drunk anymore because that victim impact panel requirement was so devastating.
I never thought of myself as an alcoholic until I tried to stop drinking this last week and I found myself sweating through the sheets, riddled with anxiety, sunken into a gross deep depression only to feel a modicum a relief by resuming drinking altogether. Maybe alcoholic is the wrong term, maybe it’s just alcohol use disorder, but I am beholden to it, and that’s what matters.
Truth be told I am tired of this life, tired of pretending I don’t have a problem when my corner store people see me coming in everyday for 12 packs and cigarettes followed by that dread and embarrassment at check out. Tired of trying to shop around at different places further from where I live to avoid judgmental glares. Tired of the planned detoxes before work so I can do my job effectively. Tired of being the fun, perky person at work that everyone loves and trusts when I’m suffering on the inside. Tired of the cravings that come on full force once I turn my personality off and clock out for the day. Tired of going out with friends for drinks and being controlled and conservative in public only to go home and get bombed afterwards in private. Tired of disappointing my husband who is so full of joy and positivity. Tired of wanting so badly to announce to my friends and family that I desperately need help, that I feel so achingly alone or that I fear I may hurt myself when I’ve reached peak drunkenness.
For the last year I’ve made appointments with therapists only to cancel last minute. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and “soft bipolar” as a late teen. And my life’s problems haven’t always been about alcohol, but they’ve definitely been now. I’m terrified of admitting this and having it permanently emblazoned on my record. I work in healthcare and I wouldn’t want anyone to be privy to my problems in the workplace. I should note I’ve never shown up to work impaired and would call out if I needed to. But I also don’t get questioned at work for my excessive absences because I have intermittent FMLA for my disease.
I just don’t know where to go from here. I think a lot about the song with the lyric “stop the world and let me off”. I fantasize about going away and detoxing and coming back a better version of myself. But life doesn’t stop for me when I’m the breadwinner of the family, everything is in my name, and I’ve got a lot of people depending on me. It’s an incredibly vicious cycle and something I can’t seem to escape. The worst part of being a “functional alcoholic” is spending every waking moment attempting to hide in plain sight and oftentimes persevering to my own detriment, which is not functional at all.

Hey, I just wanted to drop in and post an update following on from a post I made on Thursday https://www.reddit.com/AutismInWomen/comments/13rtwn1/worried_about_referral_appointment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
It was exactly as bad as I feared it would be. After almost a month waiting for the appointment, hours and hours spent editing my reasons and examples to support referral, an enormously stressful morning and having to take a taxi to the GPs, I was told by a smilingly apologetic mental health nurse that he was sorry, but I was going to be disappointed.
He told me he wished he'd read what this appointment was for earlier, since he would have contacted me to let me know not to waste my time coming in. He told me that he couldn't make the referral either. I have no idea why my GP made this appointment for me. He then read me out the patronising rejection letter that had originally been sent, and that I'd read already. Some highlights included:

• I have been seen by the CMHT since 2011, and there is nothing in my notes to suggest an ASD referral is warranted
• Further, there has been no observable behaviour that suggests a referral would be warranted
• the specialist (who wrote the letter) is satisfied that current conclusions drawn (i.e. depression/anxiety) are more "cogent" explanations for how I feel than a diagnosis of autism

The doctor - the top specialist, it appears, for adult autism in my health board - sounds VERY much like he is dismissing my concerns out of hand. He said I should approach the CMHT to arrange an appointment to see if such a referral would be necessary, and that he would copy his letter to them. This does not fill me with confidence.
The nurse then went on to wax lyrical about how much expertise this doctor had, that he'd been to many of his lectures. He said that though his methods might seem strict, it is actually from a place of compassion - after all, he observed, I seem very invested in the idea of having autism... What if the screening process was more lax and I waited on the list for 2+ years, only to be told after all I wasn't autistic? How would I handle that? It's not gatekeeping, it's compassion, apparently. I wanted to shout that it IS gatekeeping, and I'm not even at the point of being permitted to be screened!
He then went on to explain to me that just because someone might have some traits of one condition or another, it didn't mean they met the diagnostic criteria for a clinically significant diagnosis - he said even he had traits of autism, but that didn't mean he was autistic after all! This conflation of some traits with a full condition is, apparently, common in people who have diagnosed family members. He did mention that he understood autism could present differently in females (and presumably so does the expert who wrote the letter - though he gave considerable weight in said letter to the fact that there had been no observable behaviours to warrant assessment... Is it likely that clinicians who are NOT specialists in autism would have picked up any sign of it if they already believed it was depression and anxiety, and had never considered or discussed autism with me?).
I have never felt so dismissed, angry or humiliated. Or upset. I started to cry during the appointment, and left obviously distraught, but no provision was made for this. I was allowed to just walk out of the surgery with tears streaming down my face. Which, for a mental health nurse, seems shockingly negligent, especially given my mental health history.
I just feel so... Done. I did phone the CMHT, briefly spoke to a duty worker while sobbing behind a row of shops, and an appointment is to be arranged with one of the clinicians in the team. I don't have a timeline for when that will be. I also found out during this call that my former psychiatrist, whom I thought had retired, actually still works with the service - the duty worker asked if I'd like her to flag a task for him to see if he would see me again if only for this review and I said no, that I wanted to see someone different. I have no faith at all in that doctor. That's a whole other story, but some of the highlights include being put on antipsychotics that caused me to gain over 6 stone - for depression - and being gaslit about a diagnosis he made and was recorded, but later claimed I unequivocally didn't have, making me feel like some kind of fantasist (and then I requested my medical notes under the FOI.... And what do you know?)
I feel like no-one knows what the fuck they are doing, and it's my life that is getting wasted on misdiagnosis and medication that isn't helping because it's treating the wrong thing. I remember being sent to the CMHT originally and being so relieved because, finally, I'd be seeing specialists. But it's a joke.
I had already been planning to pursue private assessment - I am lucky to have the resources to pool to do this - but I'd planned to follow the NHS pathway as well incase there was any issues about "legitimacy" or being able to access services etc but now I do not think I am going to - I think I will go private and leave it there. I am so heart sick of it, and know I don't have the mental stamina to keep coming up against clinicians who don't understand the referral pathway and waste my time, some who have only the vaguest idea of what autism looks like in women, others who are patronising as fuck (yea, I didn't diagnose myself with autism because I recognised a few traits from tiktok), and then the waiting times and the assessment style itself. I ask myself what do I want a diagnosis for?

• It's not for financial support reasons - I already receive financial support due to the issues I already struggle with
• I am not working at present, not have I for some time, so access to adjustments aren't relevant just now
• There is no medication to access, so it's not that.
• I am way too old for any kind of intervention to be applicable, and to my knowledge there is not much in the way of support available for autistic adults in my area, so a diagnosis wouldn't be useful for that. The support that is available is not via the NHS.
• I am receiving some support for mental health issues I've had for over two decades now, and don't have very high support needs. I doubt I'd receive additional support even if I received a diagnosis through the NHS.

Basically I want a diagnosis because I need to KNOW. I need to know why I am the way I am. That I'm not broken, not a failure, not something that could be fixed if only I tried harder. Not a weirdo. I need an explanation. I need someone clinically qualified - an actual expert, not constrained by NHS budgeting - to confirm for me what I'm already 80% sure of. And if it is not autism, then I will at least have ruled that out.
Sorry for the massive rant. I don't know where else to let this out, and I know there are sadly people on here who can relate.

In 2020, on tiktok i heard an audio go "i hope we're still friends yeah i hope you dont mind". And during that time i resonated with that lyrics. I still do. And quickly i listened to the song and then in early 2021. I was listening to the albums on repeat. I love Tvg they helped me theu a really bad time in my life. My fav song is song about me.

For instance... When I hear the Song Float on, by modest mouse.
A fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam Ezekiel 13:3
It was worth it just to learn some sleight of hand
Bad news comes, don't you worry even when it lands (Amos 5:18; 2 Thessalonians 1:9; Proverbs 20)
Good news will work its way to all them plans (Jeremiah 29:11)
We both got fired on exactly the same day (Colossians 2:12)
Well, we'll float on, good news is on the way (2 Timothy 4:2-12)
Bring it on, here we are, win or lose, win or lose
Win or lose, win or lose, win or lose, win or lose
Win or lose, win or lose, I can't say (Romans 10)
Personally I see God in the works of everything and some things I see also the calamity of his works by Lucifer, I know when I'm hearing the fallen choir master speak through modern secular music.
For instance Mother by Danzig, its clearly not godless music, but the music of god the devil. blinding the minds of the unbelievers.
2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
Father
Gonna take your daughter out tonight
Gonna show her my world
Oh father
Not about to see your light
But if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
'Til you're bleeding
But when I hear Rick Astley Never Gonna give you up...
Man I Can't help But think of my Lord and my Savior!
like the amount of Verses I can correlate to the lyrics of that song will literally Rick Roll you into the Gospel of Truth...
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
[He's] Never gonna give you up
[He's]Never gonna let you down
[He's]Never gonna run around and desert you
[He's]Never gonna make you cry
[He's]Never gonna say goodbye
[He's]Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

I was barely 5 when my mom admitted me in music lesson. It was a small music school where kids used to come once a week and there was a mam who used to teach us. They taught basics there. My mom always wanted to learn singing but due to family reasons it was not possible in her childhood, so she imposed her dreams on me. Anyways I really liked going to the classes as I met kids of my age there and it was fun.
Then it was becoming difficult for her to take me there, so she appointed a teacher for me at home. Now this was a male teacher who was in this 50s, so he was kinda calm, composed and strict. He was a classical singing teacher btw. It continued, by the time I was 6, sir asked mom if I would appear for the exams which she agreed. They appointed a tabla teacher who would again come once a week to teach me. Now this person was also in his late 40s, and I hated him because he used to scold me badly if I made any mistake. Tbh I was terrified of him. Slowly I started losing interest and saw singing as a way my mom punished me.
Then came the exams. Classical music exams are tough. There are raagas and many more things. I never liked them because I couldn't understand a single word. There were 8 raagas I memorized by rote learning, got good marks and everything was okay. This continued for 4-5 years. Every year the exam got tougher and I had to practice for 1 hr in the morning and 1 hr in the evening everyday which was a punishment for me. I deliberately hated singing then. I would cry, mom would scold, won't allow me to play, watch tv if I didn't practice for 1 day. I was prohibited to eat ice creams, drink cold water, keep ac on during night. But I loved singing in school. I like singing bollywood songs, bengali songs etc cause I could get the meaning from them. I loved being in the school choir.
I remember 1 day I excitedly told my singing teacher that I had learnt a new song by myself. It was a song from aashiqui 2 because it became very popular back then. He listened the whole song and started scolding me saying how I am a disgrace to sing a song like that. He said I was dumb that I learnt that song instead of practicing a raaga or a rabindrasangeet. He also said I sang it in a horrible way and only classical, rabindasangeet suited my voice. Now that broke my confidence. Rabindra sangeet is very good I know, but small me couldn't understand the lyrics or the feel so I hated them too. I thought he was right and I shouldn't sing other songs anymore. The exams continued, participated in some competitions of rabindrasangeet and classical, won in few.
I wasn't bad at singing, I could hit higher notes pretty easily due to practicing classical for years. I would memorize and sing them like a parrot, so my teacher was happy and taught me more. My mom bought a tanpura for me. Now whenever there was a family get together, my mom would force me to sing along with those relatives. In society picnics kids use to sing and dance on bollywood songs and there I would be singing a rabindrasangeet. Gradually I stopped singing in public due to shame. I hated it when I heard songs playing in speakers and it used to remind me how mom forces me to do something I don't like
Now mom transferred and we changed cities. She again admitted me to another singing teacher. He was also same as the previous one as I think all the classical music teachers are same. Both of my teachers hated bollywood and english songs. At this point I hated music so so much. But had to continue, else mom would cut off all source of enjoyment from me.
Then came class 10 mocks, and I finally got rid of singing giving the excuse of boards. Last 2.5 years I never hummed a song, because I hated songs, singing everything. My mom used to say how I wasted all her efforts. After I came to college, I started listenng to songs again, I sing along with songs. And I really like singing now. That 2.5 years break made me love singing again. Damn I hoped my mom never forced me to sing in the first place like that so that I could have enjoyed the process
Tldr I just wanted to write it down somewhere so I did
mom forced me to learn classical music, forced me to practice everyday and I lost interest