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This is for parents who feel guilty for choosing to sleep train, because I did.
My baby was an excellent sleeper before the 4 month regression hit us at 3.5 months. We stuck it out, it got better for a while, had on and off nights, but generally manageable. At 8 months, another regression began. This time it was getting worse. By 10.5 months, baby was only getting 7-8 hours of sleep at night, was cranky during the day, had a lower appetite and was less interested in eating, and we were absolutely exhausted. So, we sleep trained. First night, she cried for 2 hours in 30-40 second bursts while we checked in on her every 15 minutes. Next night, she cried for 30 minutes. Next, it was 11 minutes. Days later, she fussed for under 5 minutes. I felt I was a terrible parent for leaving her to cry. A week later, she sleeps from 7-7. She eats better, is MUCH happier and less cranky during the day. WE sleep better. And no, it's not selfish to make sure parents needs are also met. Happier, better rested parents make for happier babies. My baby displays all the signs of a securely attached child and is meeting milestones very early (ex. walking at 10 months).
Now that I've done it, I'm finding the controversy around this topic to be absurd. Much like the breastfeeding vs formula argument, parents are choosing the most ridiculous things to feel superior about. In the grand scheme of things, I highly doubt a single parenting event in the span of 24 hours will determine the emotional stability of my child later in life. During the day, I am VERY attentive to my child's needs, responding to every cry and she receives more cuddles and kisses than she likes. Sleep training or leaving her to cry at bedtime does NOT mean I'm abandoning her. An attentive parent will know their baby's cry very well, if it's a fighting sleep cry, or something else is going on cry. At this point, if she cries or is refusing to sleep minutes after I've put her down, I'll check in to see if she needs a diaper change or perhaps milk top up. Once her needs have been met, she'll go to sleep.
Interestingly, I found out from my mom that I was sleep trained as a baby. Growing up, I had a very strong attachment to my mom. I remember waking up from nightmares as a child or sick with a tummy ache and would run to my parents bedroom and wake my mom up. I never got sent back to my room or was made to feel like I should stay in my bed if I needed her.
Point is, to breastfeed or not, to sleep train or not, I do not believe these decisions alone will determine the outcome of your child's physical and emotional well being the way it's being "marketed".

Hey there,
I recently got a 1992 Miata that my aunt owner and it’s in great shape (minus the stalling issue I posted about a few days ago, but that was fixed) with only 12k miles on it.
So I live in West Virginia and travel on rougher roads, loose gravel roads or just plain dirt roads. My question is how beefy of tires can I get on this old thing? Anyone have any recommendations on lifting just a touch? I really like the low ride but I think even just a little more room from the ground would do wonders for environment out here.
Would love any recommendations or ideas for ANYTHING that you think could be a good idea for living in mountainous terrain.
Thanks!

Whenever there is a third collaborator present during a meeting with me and my co-supervisor, they throw me under the bus to, most likely, feel good about themselves. They have serious confidence issues, and probably low self esteem, nothing wrong with that and I understand their behavior as I myself suffer from it but I throwing me.under the bus is no no. Specially not in the presence of my senior supervisor.
By throw me under the bus I mean, presenting a new research idea and passive agressively hinting why I'm not doing it while I'm just hearing about it for the first time. Always reminding me that the time is running and I don't have much time left in my grant, etc.
They were nice at the start and appreciative for me joining the team but they slowly changed to this passive agressive, nice from the outside sort of person. And after a year I got to know them better. They are not the supportive kind, not at all, and it is affecting me very much. They never appreciate my work them provide criticism, they go straight at it in a very condescending way. Note that they are a postdoc and just had their PhD a year or 2 ago. So clearly inexperienced.
have a negative and gloomy outlook about everything, research, the project, their life, everything, and
Thanks heavens that I'm working remotely with them and can protect myself. But the day we met in person for a meeting I got to see the full spectrum of their personality. They just have a negative and gloomy outlook about everything, research, the project, their life, the road, the building, the 5 Star's hotel food servings, every freaking thing!!
I am starting to feel exhausted and with no way out! After every meeting I feel furious against them. The issue is that I feel like there is no way to discuss this with them because they - you know - are already empty from any positivity to give from.
What should I do? How would you deal with this?? I'm in 2year EU PhD in the sciences

In the current time of economic volatility and uncertainty, it’s no surprise that financial considerations remain a critical measure of success for most content producers. Right now, it’s more important than ever that spending on content production not only delivers value for money, but also produces measurable results.
Against that background, the figures in TKM’s latest Benchmark Report on Offshore Production, sponsored by We Are Amnet, show that companies and agencies in pretty much every sector are turning to offshoring: 60% of respondents currently offshore some elements of their creative production or post-production.
The offshoring trend that began with big corporations in the 1960s and ‘70s, and saw a new wave during the IT revolution of the ‘90s, has disrupted every sector. Some have adopted the model more readily than others: in the pharma sector, for example, there is still some room for companies to catch up. In our recent online forum Outperform Your Competition With Content at Scale, Puneet Srivastava, Head of Digital Content & Services Lab at Roche, said “Pharma is still on a learning curve at the moment compared to other industries, when it comes to how to operate to be most effective in the digital space.”

Offshoring adds value beyond just cost—but the numbers are unarguable

One of the principal barriers to offshoring content production remains concern about the quality of the work. It’s clear that the critical importance of this metric hasn’t changed: it’s one of the top three assessment criteria when considering offshoring as part of a content production model, cited by 45% of respondents. Furthermore, quality of work remains an important measure of success for 91%.
Having said that, in the current economic climate, money talks: 81% of respondents rated access to lower-cost skills and resources in their top three drivers for offshoring. Given all these figures, the levels of satisfaction from organizations that do offshore creative production are illuminating; 69% of respondents are either satisfied or very satisfied with their offshore partner.
In the pharma sector, the approach to content production has changed considerably in the last few years. According to Puneet Srivastava, “A few years ago, everything was driven by one agency. But pharma has really learned a lesson, and actually created roles in production that challenge what can be done.” So it’s clear there has been an evolution in content production models in the search for quick turnaround at high quality, and cost savings—41% of companies expect typical savings of 40–60% across all services lines. Put bluntly, these days, if you’re not leveraging the opportunities to make the savings that new content production models offer, you’re overpaying.

73% of participants agree or strongly agree with the Smartshoring® approach to offshore creative production.

Save money without compromising other metrics

The models continue to evolve; even for organizations that are already offshoring or are committed to doing so, there is a more cost-effective and scalable solution available—Smartshoring®. Born out of a need to invest in smarter content production solutions, and a hybrid model of in-country teams and offshore expertise, Smartshoring® makes use of the best talent, wherever it may be. Particularly strong for Tier 3 and Tier 4 content production, it’s proving such a successful model that we’re increasingly seeing Tier 2 work being tasked to Smartshoring®.
It’s a model that goes beyond just cost saving. As Puneet Srivastava pointed out, retaining talent is another problem companies and agencies are facing, and Smartshoring® is the scalable, flexible solution to that problem. Combining offshore expertise with local quality control and management, Smartshoring® is tomorrow’s model for producing global content at scale.
In creative content production nowadays, those who aren’t offshoring are running the risk of not only paying a premium for their creative production but being left behind technologically and operationally, especially in the sectors like healthcare where it’s still an emerging model. Talk to us to see what Smartshoring® can do for your organization.

Hi everyone, so for the past year we’ve been dealing with our downstairs NFH and it’s driving me insane. I’m not sure what to do anymore.
Background: We live in a suburb in NYC, in a 13-floor building with multiple neighbors above and below us. my fiancé and me moved into our apartment last March. We don’t have pets, and at the time when we moved in, I was about 20 weeks pregnant with our daughter. We don’t have any other children. My boyfriend works in banking and leaves at 7 am every day and returns at 7 pm. I’m in PA school, so from March - December I left for school at 2 pm and returned at 10 pm. During the day I would study. Now I’m on rotations, so I’m gone M-F from around 8 am - 5 pm. Our daughter is 7 months old and doesn’t walk or crawl yet. My mom takes care of the baby during the day, but they usually leave to run errands, park or library.
Our downstairs neighbor started placing multiple noise complaints very shortly after we moved in. Security would come to our apartment weekly and tell us that she was complaining about children running and playing. At this point, I was still very pregnant and our apartment barely had furniture. My fiancé would answer the door and tell them that we didn’t have children yet. By the third time, my BF asked me to open the door so that they would see my belly. Security felt bad and told the neighbor that there were no children in the apartment.
The complaints stopped for a bit and then they started again when we bought our dining room table. She started sending security again and started making calls to management about the chairs moving. Once my fiancé called me frantically while I was studying to ask me what I was doing. He had management on the other line saying that I was making noise in the apartment for hours. I was studying for an exam and occasionally standing up to use the bathroom. After that, we put little felt pieces under the chairs.
At this point, I had a conversation with management to explain our work/school schedules. Management was understanding and said they would have a talk with her. Management asked me if we had carpeting in our apartment. I told them we have an area rug in the living room, with the dogs and coffee table, a rug in the baby’s room, and one in the bedroom under our bed. Security was still being called almost 2x a month.
Once I delivered I had to return to school since my program doesn’t offer maternity leave so my fiancé took paternity leave to care for the baby. She was still sending security to the apartment while he was home caring for a newborn. Often times he would be napping or on the couch with the baby when security would come over. One time he woke up to NYPD knocking on the door over a noise complaint and he was napping in the bedroom. The police officers were visibly very upset, according to my fiancé when they saw that the apartment was dark and he had a sleeping newborn in his arms. They left and said to ignore her.
At some point when my daughter was about 3 months old and security was still being called, I got very frustrated. I asked security to accompany me to speak with her myself. They took us downstairs. First thing, she was extremely aggressive from the beginning while I was trying to calmly explain to her that we don’t know where the noises she hears are coming from. She kept mentioning a screeching sound from the table. We told her we placed the felt pieces. She asked us if we had carpeting in our apartment, we told her no, but we had rugs and didn’t have one under the table because we felt it was unsanitary to have one there in case food fell on it. I gave her my number and asked her to text me when she heard noises so we can try to fix the issue. She said she still heard children running. I pointed to the baby and said that she was the only child and she was only 3 months old so it was not possible that it was her. My neighbors in the apartment next to mine (we share the living room wall) have children that do run a lot. She was complaining about the noise in her living room. She was on the phone with her boyfriend, who said “he can hear the noise too” 😒. She apologized briefly and told me she’d text me.
So sometime later, she texted me when she thought she heard the noise. We ran some noise tests and couldn’t reproduce the noise she was talking about using any furniture in our apartment. The only time we could hear something is when I actually slammed the chair. I told her I was sorry she was hearing those sounds but it was not coming from our apartment.
She texted me again when I was on rotation all the way in another borough, and I told her no one was home so the noise wasn’t from our apartment.
She texted me again yesterday to complain of balls dropping in our bedroom (over the master bedroom) and about footsteps at 6 am (that one was definitely my fiancé walking around in his work shoes). She was very nasty this time and stated that she was going to call management and set up a meeting to inspect our apartment because of the noise.
I spoke to management again and they got upset with me. They stated that she hasn’t called since July 2022. I told them she was texting me the complaints and I had no explanation for the noises she was hearing and that it was becoming too much for us bc we feel like we can’t even walk around our apartment without a possible complaint.
I said: “it feels like she wants us to carpet our apartment and I’m not doing that. I have allergies and it’s out of our budget.”
Management said: “well per your lease, you’re supposed to have carpet in 80% of the apartment, except the kitchen and bathroom. We usually don’t enforce it, but if the noise complaints are excessive, we do enforce it. Also, since she hasn’t called since July, it looks like YOU are starting the complaints now.”
I was confused because it feels like this woman has been harassing us for over a year now. I looked at the lease and the lease did state that there needs to be carpeting in 80% of the apartment, but here is what I’m confused about:
​

1. The apartments come with hardwood floors and no carpeting
2. The lease states that any carpeting must be removed before releasing the apartment back to them when moving out
3. If we don’t remove the carpeting, we lose our deposit AND they charge us $15/sq ft to remove the carpet.
4. If the wood floor is damaged from carpet removal/installation, we must pay to repair the wood floors.

So all in all they would want us to spend thousands of dollars out of our pocket carpeting and removing to appease this neighbor if she chooses to escalate it this way and it seems that this is the route she’s taking. She’s aware that our apartment is lacking carpet and only has area rugs bc security told her when they visited our apartment.
She texted me again today at 3 am to say she heard balls dropping. We were sleeping at 3 am and the baby sleeps through the night without toys in her crib. I responded at 9 am saying it wasn’t us bc we were sleeping at that time.
We’ve tried to call remove sources of noise in the following way:
​

1. No shoes in the apartment. I asked my fiancé to put his work shoes on only when he was about to leave.
2. We don’t sit at our dining table. So often we sit on the couch to eat or sometimes the floor
3. My fiancé likes to listen to TV loud, he’s been avoiding that for months, and when he plays videos games, he uses headphones
4. The baby only plays with her toys on our bed or on the couch so she can’t hear her playing

At this point, I don’t know what to do. Our options seem to be:
​

1. move out, but that’s difficult bc money is a little tight.
2. The leasing agent who helped us get the apartment is good friends with my stepdad and we were thinking of asking him if he could help us switch apartments
3. I don’t think there’s anything legally we can do, especially because we are the upstairs neighbors. My stepfather’s lawyer could maybe look at the lease and give us advice. I might go this route before doing anything
4. place a carpet large enough to cover the majority of the living room area with some foam padding under the table and see if that solves the issue. Although, I'm not convinced it will, because now she is complaining about a noise in the bedroom that she wasn't before. I feel like she is going to complain until every inch of my apartment is carpeted, and even then, still complain

If there are any suggestions anyone has, anything would be appreciated.

I know that the common thing is that you have ED from watching porn, but the opposite is happening to me.
I've always been into porn, but this started last year, and I have a theory.
I started watching porn on my PC at home, the problem is that this PC was in the living room, and I don't live alone, I live with a lot of people.
For me, it was impossible to watch porn in peace and with time, without being aware of being discovered masturbating. At that time I didn't have a phone, and I could only watch porn on PC, sometimes I watched at night, when everyone was sleeping, but I still risked getting caught, then it became more compulsive, I masturbated in the afternoons or with people next to me, covering myself with a sheet and very discreetly, just to seek orgasm, I trained my body to ejaculate quickly while watching porn, I did not enjoy the process and this damaged my sensitivity, I ejaculate very quickly and it is difficult for me to maintain relationships with my girlfriend, it's frustrating and fucked up.
I've decided to quit porn, for my own good, but I don't know what to do with the premature ejaculation that I was getting from consuming it, does anyone have any advice?

With each new installment in the Grand Theft Auto series, Rockstar Games has introduced new gameplay mechanics to keep the franchise fresh and exciting. Here are some possible new features that could be introduced in GTA 6:
Enhanced AI: One of the biggest criticisms of the previous games is that the AI is often too predictable. In GTA 6, we could see more advanced AI that reacts to the player's actions in a more realistic way.
More realistic physics: The physics engine in GTA 5 was already impressive, but there is always room for improvement. We could see more realistic physics in GTA 6 that affect both the player and the environment.
More dynamic weather: GTA 5 had some dynamic weather effects, but they were fairly limited. In GTA 6, we could see a more dynamic weather system that affects the gameplay in more meaningful ways.
Seamless transitions: In previous games, there was often a loading screen when transitioning from one area to another. In GTA 6, we could see more seamless transitions between different areas of the game world.
New minigames: GTA 5 had a variety of fun minigames, such as tennis and golf, but there is always room for more. We could see new minigames in GTA 6 that are even more varied and engaging.
Improved driving mechanics: While the driving mechanics in GTA 5 were already pretty solid, there is always room for improvement. In GTA 6, we could see more realistic driving physics and more customizable vehicles.
Better stealth mechanics: Stealth has never been a strong point of the GTA series, but that could change with GTA 6. We could see more advanced stealth mechanics that allow players to approach missions in different ways.
Dynamic NPC behavior: In previous games, NPCs often had set patterns of behavior that could be easily predicted. In GTA 6, we could see more dynamic NPC behavior that makes the game world feel more alive.
More varied missions: While GTA 5 had a wide variety of missions, some players felt that they were too similar to each other. In GTA 6, we could see even more varied missions that keep the gameplay fresh and exciting.
VR support: With the increasing popularity of virtual reality, it's possible that GTA 6 could include support for VR headsets. This would allow players to fully immerse themselves in the game world and experience it in a whole new way.
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Hey gamers, Mods, if this type of post isn't allowed feel free to remove it as I am not sure where to post it.
So I've been thinking about getting a gaming PC really only for three or four games, Minecraft Java Edition with mods, Kerbal Space Program 1 & 2 with mods, Cities: Skylines 1 and eventually 2 with mods and maybe Diablo IV. I want 4k resolution at 60 fps and 120hz refresh rate. The problem is I don't understand computer tech lingo anymore. I understand that I should be looking at 16-32 gb of ramm, however, I am confused on the difference between DDR, I have no clue what GPU would work well vs would "work" and also clueless about what CPU range I should be looking for.
I've seen some what look like decent options online that look like they have room for expansion, however I would like to avoid getting one with a motherboard that will be obsolete in a year or two if possible. I'm hoping this is doable within a $500-$700 price range but i understand that may not be possible.
Any help is greatly appreciated and again if this type of post is not allowed here just say so and I'll remove it. Thanks.

Background
Me: 34F
Jobs: Consultant
Location: East Coast
Goal: Finding the balance between paying off my six-figure student debt while still enjoying life post failed fertility treatments.
Current Debt and Assets
DEBT
Credit card debt: $2,200 approximately. I usually never go more than 2 months without paying it off completely to keep me honest.
Personal loans: $0
Medical debt: $0
Student loan debt: $125,303.17 with 3.301% interest. I had a scholarship to undergrad. For my graduate degree, I took out 150k of loans. In the 4 years after graduate school where I was paying the minimum payment, the loan amount grew to $171,000. I paid off approximately 57k in the past 18 months (although because interest is so high, only 46k of that went to principal.)
Auto loans: $0 – My husband and I have had a ton of bad luck the past few years but one thing we were fortunate about is buying two used cars around 22k each right before the new and used car market went crazy. We paid them both off within 3-4 months of purchasing them. I used to think I would just lease a car because I had this idea that all used cars break down constantly but I’m glad my husband disabused me of notion because with some TLC, my car should last me a long time and with all the spending on gas and tolls, I am so thankful to not have a car payment.
Savings balance: $1,000. My husband and I used to have a very large savings/rainy day fund (30k-ish) but we’ve spent the past 3 years going through fertility treatments that have really eaten away at our savings. This amount of savings is pretty antithetical to how judicious we both are about money but we both have good job security and could cash out our investment accounts with penalty if we really needed it so we haven’t prioritizied replenishing it. That, and we are very emotionally spent after the past few years.
Checking account balance: $460.55
Crypto portfolio: $0. I don’t have the risk tolerance for this.
House: Bought for $580,000, now worth ~$700,000. Still owe around 545k.
Assets:
401K: ~$140,000. I max out my contribution to my 401k. I did not start contributing to this until I was 27 but all my past employers have had generous matches which has helped.
ROTH IRA: ~$11,000. My husband and I have a joint ROTH IRA that we’ve maxed out every year for past 4-5 years. All our accounts have taken a beating this year, not unlike everyone else, so these numbers used to be much higher. Keep reminding myself to play the long game!
Brokerage Account $6,000. I’d like to be more aggressive with this but we’re doing our best at the moment.
Income
I am currently working full-time as a tech consultant. I’ve only been here a year, but I love the work and the benefits are generous. The job is very stressful and a bit hectic sometimes but it’s hard to imagine I’ll get everything I have at this job elsewhere, so I plan to stay awhile a while.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: ~$4,825 2x/month
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: $0. I joked with my husband I should start bartending to keep up with my student loan payments and IVF costs, but he wouldn’t stand for it.
Other Income: I sometimes do other work with modest honorariums that probably only bring in around $2k a year. This year is an outlier thought and I will get almost $9k.
Total Income: ~$4,825. I don’t account for other income into my budget and whatever I get just gets chucked towards student loans.
Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1550 (Half of my mortgage. My husband has VA Loan so we didn’t need a down payment for the house, just closing costs, which is why our mortgage may seem a little high. We also live in a HCOL area so this probably seems high but this is not far off from what we paid for rent living in the city, so this wasn’t a hard jump for us financially.
Debt payments: Anywhere from $1700 (the minimum) to $4000, depending on the month.
Utility Bills: ~$200 (I pay)
Cellphone + Internet: $150 (Husband pays)
Subscriptions: $150 (Husband pays)
Car Insurance: $100 (Covers both of us, husband pays)
Dining Out: $150-250. We very rarely go out to eat especially in the past few years because of pandemic and IVF but we’re trying to get in the habit of doing so once a month to enjoy ourselves. We're more likely to order in with UberEats or something. My husband usually pays even though it goes on our joint CC, he usually pays it off.
Shopping: Wildly fluctuates but anywhere from 500 to nothing. The older I’ve gotten the easier it is for me to avoid impulse buys.
Groceries: $1200-1500 – I pay for all groceries and house toiletries like soap, toothpaste, medicine, etc. One of the things we splurge on is high quality meats, organic fruits and vegetables, blah blah blah etc. This lifestyle change hasn’t made any difference in our IVF success unfortunately but we both couldn’t deny how great we felt eating that way, so we continue to do so despite me sometimes wincing at the cumulative cost. I make almost double what my husband does, so I take over a slightly higher percentage of our monthly bills but not by much because we both agreed I should prioritize paying down my student loans. He also covers dog food, treats, and medicine for both our dogs which really adds up and those more random, quarterly house expenses like Home Depot visits, pest control, buying a new mower, lawn care, and other things that come up more than you think (Home owners know the struggle). Once my debt is paid down, we will probably revisit the split of monthly expenses to see what makes sense.
Cleaning: $165/month (I pay) Having a house cleaner is one of those luxuries I would never give up. I’d rather cut back on dining out, shopping, etc if someone could come once a month to clean. We also have two big dogs, so it feels less of a luxury and more of a necessity.
Pet Insurance $80/month, covers both dogs (I pay)
Gas: $300 (I have a long commute and I go into the office almost every day)
Tolls: $225
Parking: $0 Work covers this, thank goodness!
Health Insurance: $0. My work covers health insurance for me and my husband. Huge bonus I don’t take for granted.
Total Expenses: I’ve estimated it is roughly around $6,500 a month at least for my portion of bills, assuming I’ve only paid the minimum of my student loans.
Debt Diary
2006 – Started college at a public university where I got free tuition from a combination of my mom’s job and my good grades. We still owed room and board which my parents covered for the most part and then took out loans to cover the rest when they divorced. My stepdad paid off the remaining balance of around 8k for me in my mid-twenties.
2010 – Graduated and moved to abroad for four years. Got great experience but pay was very low so no savings and no financial planning at all.
2014: Started my graduate degree back in the U.S.. Took out *all* the loans for this to include living expenses (150k). During this time I wanted to be a public servant so I felt confident my loans would be paid off after 10 years through Public Student Loan Forgiveness (PSLF) program. That’s not exactly how it worked out.
2016: Graduated and started my first “big girl” job at 27 making around $75,000 . This is the first time I started contributing to a 401k. I was working for a 401c3 so I qualified to start paying into the PSLF program. My loan payments, based on my income at the time was around $350-400 monthly. I got modest raises over the next few years that brought me to 85k before I switched jobs. During these four years, my student loans ballooned to 170k because I was only paying the minimum.
2020: My husband and I cancel our wedding and honeymoon (covid) but still get married. Got a new job that finally got me a low six figure salary (120k) but was in the private sector so still paying minimum on student loans but no longer was making qualified payments for student loan forgiveness. Thought I might still go back into government/nonprofit world.
2021: Changed jobs – same ish salary @ 125k, still in the private sector. Start what will be many rounds of unsuccessful rounds of IVF. I think the total cost has been somewhere around 80k. My husband’s grandmother has helped us a lot which I quite literally don’t know what we would do without, but it’s still been very financially, emotionally, and mentally taxing. Wasted a lot of money on supplements and acupuncture that didn’t help.
2022: Started at the job I have now. Base started at 175,000 plus 25% bonus. In the first year I got a promotion and a 20% raise, so I now make 210,000. This is when I realize that this is the career I enjoy and will likely not go back government service in the future or at least not long enough to participate in student loan forgiveness program. I also do the math and realize if I continue to pay the minimum of income-based repayment (based on my now much higher pay) I will end up paying 3-4x the loan amount over the course of my life. I decide to privatize my loans and choose a 10 year pay off plan because I want to be somewhat aggressive about it, hence the relatively high minimum payment of $1700. Despite the good interest rate (3% ish) the principal is so high that $400 of that goes to interest. It’s why I’d like to aggressive pay it down now, if for no other reason than to get the interest payments down.
2023: I’m told after many failed rounds of IVF, I’m unable to have genetic children. We start figuring out how we will afford other ways to build our family, all of which cost in the tens of thousands. Fortunately, (?) I’ve gotten my student loans down to 125k.
Now: Between canceling our wedding, our honeymoon, living through a pandemic and years of fertility struggles and awful treatments, I am now re-thinking how aggressively I’ve been paying down debt this past year. Approaching getting pregnant and debt payment both as a sprint and not a marathon has done me no favors. I also just want my husband and I to enjoy life a little bit given all our struggles. We both work so hard, and I want to make sure we’re making time (and money) on the things that make us happy. I also realize we need to figure out how we’ll pay to expand our family which overwhelms me but I’m trying to treat this just as a second marathon, not a sprint.
Reflection
Do I regret my student loans?
Despite my six figure loans living rent free in my mind constantly, it’s hard to regret taking them because I can’t imagine how else I would have built the career I have now, which I love and am very grateful for. My career is everything I always hoped for and more although sometimes I lose sight of that in the daily grind. Grad school was so time consuming it’s also hard to imagine how I would have worked at the same time and made enough money to make a meaningful difference in my bills. And I focused a lot of time on substantive internships that would help demonstrate my ability to shifting gears into a different career which I do think paid off in more ways than one. This new career path that I’m on also opens a lot of doors for me to continue to be a higher earner so in the long run, this amount of debt, while daunting and a bit menacing, is somewhat of a first world problem. It will get paid off. My only concern is if something catastrophic happened, since my loans are private, I would still have a very high mandatory minimum payment. Again, both my husband and I have a lot of job security and could always cash out our investment accounts, heaven forbid something awful happened. I think because the past few years have been so mentally taxing, I have very little bandwidth for regret.
Impact of Infertility
It is probably also worth noting that dealing with years of infertility and infertility treatments only to be told ultimately that I’m unable to have [genetic] children has changed who I am as a person and how I see life. We spent 3 years of our life in a pandemic lockdown and then in back-to-back all-consuming aggressive fertility treatments. I feel like we lost so much time and had very little levity during those times. I still plan on being diligent about paying off my debt and investing, but I want to cut myself some slack and allow my husband and myself to live a little, travel and just spend time enjoying our lives instead of just focusing on destinations (of having children and debt pay off).
Generational Wealth
The city I live in is filled with lots of wealthy people and many a times I’ve been in conversations where people ask where you sailed in the summer and skied in the winter, like it’s a given that everyone does this (lol). Most of the people I went to grad school with had their school paid off from family (plus help with a down payment for a house and wedding costs), and it occurs to me over and over how critical a role generational wealth can play in setting someone up for an incredibly easier life. My husband and I grew up middle class (which still conferred a lot of privilege that is never lost on us) but would like to make sure we have saved money for our [eventual] kids college so they’re not saddled with debt – and thinking about other investment accounts we could open for them to start generational wealth. Without my student loan debt, I could have an additional 200k to invest which would have meaningful impact on my kid’s and kid’s kid’s life when invested correctly. I don’t dwell too much on this though, at least anymore, but rather something I consider when planning for the future. Both my husband and I are still grateful for the advantages and privilege we still did and continue to have. Oddly, getting more interested in personal finance has made me feel more neutral about money which I appreciate.
Husband’s Influence
I also have to credit a lot of good money habits to my husband who was a really great influence on me on the importance of making consciousness steps to get a better credit score, invest aggressively, etc. I was definitely living for a good time not a long time up until I met him lol. We still prioritize spending money on fun without guilt but now I enjoy the process about making sure we’re set up well for the future.
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Thank you for reading. I'm feeling a bit vulnerable talking about this stuff so please be gentle with me :').

There are a lot of possibilities for new minigames in GTA 6, given the creativity and variety that the franchise has demonstrated in the past. Here are some ideas:
Arcade games: Perhaps players could visit arcades in the game world and play classic arcade games like Pac-Man, Space Invaders, or Street Fighter. These could be fully playable games within the game, with leaderboards and prizes for high scores.
Casino games: GTA 5 already had a fully-realized casino, but GTA 6 could expand on this with more games like craps, roulette, or baccarat. These games could be played for in-game currency, with high-stakes games available for the most daring players.
Sports: GTA 5 had a few sports minigames like golf and tennis, but GTA 6 could expand on this with more sports like basketball, baseball, or football. These could be played against other players online, with prizes for the winners.
Board games: Players could visit coffee shops or bars in the game world and play board games like chess, checkers, or backgammon. These games could be fully interactive, with the pieces moving around the board in real-time.
Puzzle games: There are plenty of puzzle games that could be integrated into the world of GTA, like Sudoku, crossword puzzles, or jigsaw puzzles. These could be found in newspapers or magazines within the game world, and completed puzzles could unlock rewards like hidden vehicles or weapons.
Virtual reality games: With the recent release of VR headsets like the Oculus Quest, GTA 6 could incorporate virtual reality minigames like shooting galleries, puzzle rooms, or horror experiences. These would be fully immersive and could provide a break from the main game.
These are just a few ideas for new minigames in GTA 6, but the possibilities are endless. The franchise has always been known for its attention to detail and variety, so players can likely expect a wide range of activities to keep them occupied in the game world.

I tested positive last Saturday morning after developing a minor sore throat and nasal congestion Friday night.
My symptoms are gone except for a bit of congestion, but I’ve tested negative with a nasal swab antigen test twice in the last 24 hours.
Am I likely to still be contagious? I’ve been sleeping in a spare room in the floor and wearing a kn95 mask around my spouse and baby. I don’t want either to get sick.
My spouse and I have had the first series and two booster vaccines, baby has had none and is breastfed.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while y’all! I have been really busy!!! If you have not read the other parts read them and come back! Thanks! Anyways on to the story!
03/19/23 W a T s i S h i T h FEELING?
03/20/23 I
03/21/23 Should
03/22/23 Have
03/23/23 Died.
03/30/23 I feel like I got thrown into existence. I felt my body heave as I gasped for air. My eyes immediately opened. I was surrounded by one person. He was right in front of me, and on the sides of me, and getting something from the drawer in the back of the room. He was everywhere. On every computer there were files plastered with my name, they were all medical information about me. My blood type (B+), the procedures preformed on me without my knowledge, every time and reason I was in any medical facility. Too many sounds, people, words. Too. Much.
03/31/23 My eyelids feel like closed shutters. They need to open. I feel myself breathing in and out, there is some sort of tube down my throat, it feels like a hard plastic. It kind of hurts. I feel someone looking at me, I feel their eyes boring into me. The is a machine beeping, it makes a sound every time I breathe. I pause for a second, the machine forces air into my lungs, no beep. I hear a sigh. I recognize it as Eric’s. I breathe on my own again, another beep sounds again. I can almost hear his smile. I want to look at him, I want to talk to him, but it feels impossible. My eyes won’t open, my throat has a tube shoved down it, and I can’t move. Eric lets his hand fall and meet my side. I tense at the sudden feeling. I miss human contact. I am feeling a rush of emotions I haven’t felt in a while. So many feelings. So much. Too much.
04/01/23 Today I opened my eyes and saw Eric. Instead of seeing one Eric, I see many. I and thought I hit my head last time this happened, but I guess it is real. Eric is hovering over me, typing away at a computer, opening drawer after drawer, pacing back and forth, drawing out liquid into a syringe, and laying on the floor. My eyes widen and Eric notices that I can see, well one of them? He says an unpleasant word that would have gotten me smacked in the face when I was younger. Instantly the rest of the Eric’s disappear in to nothingness. What the fuck? Eric lunges across the room in an almost feral way and grabs a needle sitting on the counter. He runs back and before I can do anything he shoves it in my neck. I feel the push back as my skin tries to resist the needle. I feel the break when the tension falls and the liquid is able to diffuse. When my eyes close and I feel a deep tug into the world of slumber I am hoping to avoid. I feel a single kiss placed gently on my forehead. Then the little resistance I was fighting to keep falters and I give way to the tug.
04/02/23 Something keeps trying to keep me down in the darkness. In the ocean of unknown, the sea of mysteries, the pond of… uhh pondering? Whatever term you prefer, I am stuck in it. I am being drowned, I can’t move, I can barely think. I need out. I need out. I need it now. I am stuck. I am stuck. I am stuck in the river of questioning, wanting to swim to the shore of answers. I am unable. I am stuck in the darkness where I don’t belong.
04/03/23 I am restless. I feel my weight sinking into the mattress. I need to get up. I feel my foot leave the fabric surface and then fall back down. I feel my hand start shaking. It feels painful yet amazing to be able to move this body of marble and stone. I want to look. I want to see the world around me. I don’t want slow progress, I want to move more. I want to run, skip, flee. In reality I want to be free.
04/04/23 I have been moving more and more. So far I have been able to sit up. I have the feeling Eric wants me to stay asleep. I still can’t open my eyes. Every time I hear a gush of air I fall flat back. I realized that meant the door was opening. I hear Eric do this deep sigh often. He talks to me, I don’t think he knows I hear him. He places a kiss somewhere on my face every time he comes in. On my forehead, cheek, chin. He put one on the skin below my lip earlier. It is hard not to flinch. I want to see. I want to know why. I want.
04/05/23 I fell today. I sat up, swung my legs around, and stood up. I went face first into the floor. I heard footsteps outside the door and quickly got up. As I was hearing the hiss of air I lied down. Eric came in and shut the door. He walked toward me, his footsteps were heavier than usual. He bent down over me and whispered, “I know you are awake. Just let me know and I will let you be able to see, I know you can’t dear.” He let out a small laugh as he walked to the other side of the room. I can’t contain the feeling of my heart beating fast. It is painful. Eric walks back and I am trying to keep myself from shaking. “Just let me know I am not talking to myself. If you really are asleep I doubt you would mind another little shot.” He holds the needle to my throat and I feel the metal tip brushing my skin. He pushes the needle in and wiggles it around. I need to contain the want to scream. “I know this hurts dear. Don’t worry if you are awake I will take this needle out right now. I know this feels like torture.” He wiggles the needle around more, it hurts so bad. Why is he doing this? He stops. Removes the needle and walks away. I hear something open and close. He walks back and leans over me. “I think I must be going crazy dear, you are so… ugh I can’t describe it.” He places a kiss on the spot below my lips and sighs. He pushes me over to my side and lies next to me. I can feel the moment he falls asleep. I am somehow relaxed in this moment.

45M, got mine a week ago at Planned Parenthood. $30 copay, and have yet to see the bill for how much my insurance won't cover, but honestly, even if I am on the hook for the full ~$1k I'm fine with that and wanted to support PP. Also didn't feel like navigating the world of insurance and coverage and finding a provider after hearing good things about getting it done at the local PP.
Went in last Friday after being on the waiting list for a couple of months - mostly due to me being busy or out of town when other openings came up. They only do them on Mon and Fri so that's maybe a consideration for some.
Not much different from what other people have described. I was nervous and it probably showed, so they gave me a decent dose of Ativan and had me chill for a half hour while that kicked in. Went into the room where the deed is done, dropped trou, and got in position on the table.
They used a needle for local anesthesia, but I barely felt anything. It hurt less than the tiny covid-shot needles and was over fast as the stuff took effect immediately. It was no-scalpel. I didn't watch, but I've since looked at videos because I'm weird and was curious about how it's done. Felt the usual mild tugging and the very minor discomfort you might expect as someone was poking needles and sharp objects in your nutsack. I think it was fueled more by anxiety than anything - the expectation that *something* was gonna hurt more than it actually hurting at all.
Forget how long it took but it wasn't too long. Maybe 15-20 min of actual time on the table, even if it seems a little longer. Got my goodie bag (a bunch of rubbers and the sample cup I will drop off at the testing place in 12 weeks) and drove myself home. I'm like 2 miles away so I was back long before anesthesia wore off.
Did the usual - wore a jock for a week (even to sleep for the first 5 days), took tylenol the first day since I figured ibuprofen can increase bleeding, and sat around with a gel ice pack down my shorts on and off. Went back to work on Monday, not really feeling bad at all. I mostly sit at a desk but did some walking around, no lifting.
The past week I was expecting more pain or discomfort, but honestly I haven't really had any. Things are still tender and I've been careful. The hole in my scrote is mostly healed. Scraped it once or twice and it just felt like I'd nicked myself trimming or gotten a bit of an abrasion there. If I really think about it or flex the pelvic muscle I'd use to "raise" my nuts, I can still tell they had something done. Not nearly as bad as a kick in the junk, but like a 5% version of that. As long as I don't do anything weird, it's already feeling like nothing has changed.
And the part everyone seems to ask about - yeah, I waited a week. Barely. Was simultaneously eager to kick the tires and scared from all the reports of granuloma or hematoma. But yeah, rubbed one out (gently...didn't take too much after a week) and things worked as expected. No blood or anything weird came out. Just the usual. I could maybe feel that 5% soreness feeling for a few min afterward, but that's expected with the various muscles that get involved.
Not gonna start going nuts (see what I did?) and spanking it 2x a day to start clearing pipes just yet. I have another 11 weeks to get that taken care of before I can submit my sample. SO has been out of town but she'll be back soon. I'd rather have safe, protected, and comfortable sex then over delaying the healing process now because I decided I had to go drag-racing the second I got my license back.
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tl;dr: 1 week later feels fine - all things considered. No surprises. Barely any pain or discomfort, even in the first week. Let's hope it stays this way and I test clear in June!

I (23F) work at a hotel and last Sunday was sexually harassed by two young men (around my age). They asked me to show them a room late at night and in the time span of walking down the hall, getting to the elevator, and getting to the room; I was asked numerous forceful sexual questions.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” I have a husband
“Can I have you phone number?” I don’t think that’s appropriate
“Why not?” Because I’m married
“He doesn’t have to know, I can give you the best 10 minutes of your life.” “We can go into the room and it can be an hour if you want or I can take you to my car.”
“I’ll give you money if you want it.” I don’t want your money and no that’s not happening
“Listen we all need a little bit of fun in our lives and you spend 10 minutes with us, it’ll be the best time you’ve ever had.” No not happening
Going back down after showing the room and not going in with these guys after these comment were said, when we headed back in the elevator they kept asking me for my number and if I wanted 10 minutes with them. When we go into the hallway I was stopped by them and they kept trying with these sexual advances.
One guy said “I’ll give you money.” Which I told him I don’t want your money “Yeah look at her she doesn’t want our money she’s not some broad off the street.” The guy saying this beings rubbing my arm and telling me; “Listen you tell me no then no (I’ve already said no 5+ times) but if you want I’m sure I can give you the best 10 minutes of your life with both of us and no one has to know.” I pull back, scared for my life at this point. I say no again and we continue walking which they stop me again before we get the front desk and they say, “You let me know before we leave, it’ll be amazing, I promise.”
At this point I’m freaking out inside since this has never happened. One of the guys puts his phone down on the desk which I tell him no I don’t want it and he forcefully put it’s in my hand. I type my husbands phone number which has no network and they call it right then and there (freaking weirdos) I finish checking them in (yes I realize I should have just called the cops I have never been in a situation like this so my mind was exploding and I wasn’t sure what to do) and they had the audacity to say in front of my manager might I add, “Can you show us the room one more time, take us up and show us where it is.” Which I told them no you can find it yourself I already showed you.
I tell my manger what happened and she’s not happy. She tells me to wait in the back office and don’t come out since my shift is ending soon anyways. They come back down and ask my manager where I went and stared into the back room looking for me. She told them I left and in this time I called my husband. These guys go to the gas station we have right down the street and when they come back they look into the office once again trying you see if I’m there. I end up going home ASAP. Get back the next day and apparently everyone that works there knows because my manager told everyone. I didn’t even get the opportunity to explain to my general managers who are also the owners about situation and when they see me all they could say was wow people are wild.
Another front desk employee was talking with my manger and my manger said to the general managers we are putting them on the do not rent list right? Which the other fd person says no they’ve never even stayed here before and my manger said yes they have they just stayed her last night and messed with our staff. And both the fd agent and the general managers decided not to put them on the list. So I took it upon myself to ask since no one knows my side of the story but everyone knows apparently and I still have yet to get a response which they usually take less than 5 minutes to text back.
I was told these guys came back by my manager yesterday and was told I don’t have to serve them and can just call the cops when this can be prevented by putting them on the do not rent list so not only myself but other workers aren’t asked this as well as guest.
This hotel has been proven to be unsafe we call the cops maybe once a week due to guest. And my general mangers have shown me they don’t care about me even though I have been a major asset to the company for 7 months now and have taken on other task that front desk agents don’t have permission to do. I’m already in the process of quitting just have to do it. But I needed a general opinion am I tripping to much about this and the lack of my safety that is being shown or am I valid in thinking this is bull and I should just quit to put my safety first since my managers won’t?

Like I absolutely cannot stand it. If I hear that God forsaken TikTok robot voice introduce some nonsensical, useless, baseless, single serving bite size piece of digital content again I may just snap. All day at my job the break room is filled with people blasting TikToks, sometimes facetiming people (I also don't want to hear your facetime conversation, hearing another persons phone secondhand is also awful for anyone), sometimes having full on conversations on speakerphone....like we're not living in 2023 and EVERY phone comes with a set of headphones. It's just downright disrespectful of those around you. Like why do you want people to hear your videos and phone conversations? Don't you want any privacy? The office that I am located in is right next to the break room and even with headphones in and music blasting I can still hear the tinny sounds of phones wafting through the walls. It's so hard to concentrate and get anything worthwhile done.
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It's even worse when I get home from listening to that all day and my girlfriend scrolls TikTok for an hour or two every night while we're relaxing. If we're not doing something together, like if I'm playing video games and she is just chilling next to me she will scroll and play videos and it's so annoying and stressful! I just want to relax after work and literally just not hear that. Last night I got home from working all day after spending time in the office listening to TikTok from all the people who have never heard of headphones and some time working up front (I'm a restaurant manager). I was running around all day and I was tired. I just wanted to decompress and play some Resident Evil 4 after work. We had dinner and watched two episodes of the show we're watching and I said I was going to game for a bit. She said she I'll watch you and came downstairs with me. While I'm playing and trying to pay attention to the cutscene and what I'm doing she is just blasting TikTok with no regard next to me. Literal videos of people screaming, yelling, robot voice, politics, anti abortion, school shootings, drag queens, like fuck it's just an overload I can't be hearing this shit all day and night. I like to stay topical and in the "know" about social issues but I cannot listen to this all day. All it does it make me angry and I don't feel like it helps me grow as a person. I asked her to turn it lower and she did but I could still hear it. I whipped out my gaming headphones and I could still hear it because it's so tinny and shrill. I then asked if she could please do literally anything else other than scroll TikTok because it is seriously bothering me and I cannot relax or pay attention to my game because it's so distracting. She got kind of upset and stood up and got ready for bed. She later apologized saying she didn't know it was that annoying and it's fine like whatever just still......do people not realize how annoying their phones are to others around them?

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One of my old best friends got married recently and I was invited to the evening which I’m grateful for but all our mutual friends got invited to the day. Even ones that I know don’t even hang out with him any more. It kinda hurts to think that I’m being singled out by some people. It’s similar with everyone now. I have a friend that only wants to hang out if I join the gym with him and another friend who never texts me first. I just feel very unloved and unlikeable by most people. I have a girlfriend who I feel like is the only person who genuinely likes me. At work I have no close friends. A few people I will chat to but I feel like a bit of an outcast there too. I’m not the loudest in the room. I’m not particularly social and I don’t always want to go out etc. it’d just be cool to feel appreciated once in a while. Does anyone else feel like this?