Introduction

1. Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs?

I did some basic obedience with the family dog when my mom and little brother brought her home just shy of 10 years ago, but this will be my first dog that is exclusively mine. I've watched way too much Dogs 101 and Its Me Or The Dog but I know that's no substitute for real in person experience.

1. Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a reputable breeder?

I'd honestly probably prefer a rescue because I'm not sure a puppy is a good fit for me, but the breed specific rescues in my state(New Mexico) are few and far between, and most of the shelters just have bully mixes, shepherd mixes, or husky mixes. I'm not averse to getting a dog from a breeder though.

1. Describe your ideal dog.

I would like a dog that is willing to cuddle up in my lap sometimes, but won't feel the need to follow me from room to room. Something that doesn't need a ton of exercise but will go on walks around the block or to the local park(not a dog park). A dog who will snuggle up with me when I've had a bad day and need extra companionship. Potentially an ESA because I am autistic.
4) What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why?
I'm not set in any one breed. The ones that seem to fit my lifestyle don't fit the climate and vice versa.
5) What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do?
At least basic obedience and good canine manners.
6) Do you want to compete with your dog in a sport (e.g. agility, obedience, rally) or use your dog for a form of work (e.g. hunting, herding, livestock guarding)? If so, how much experience do you have with this work/sport?
I think agility would be fun, but realistically I'm not going to compete with it. I do not have an escape proof spot I could set anything up in.
Care Commitments
7) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day?
30-45 minutes a day of active playing, I can go hours of low intensity interaction with cuddles and such.
8) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park?
30-45 minutes. A few laps around the block(I'm not in good physical shape so no more than that right now), some lower intensity things with puzzle toys.
9) How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly?
I'd prefer a dog that only needs brushing once a week to every few days. I'm open to doing / learning how to do basic grooming myself, the nearest groomers is too far away to be realistic.
Personal Preferences
10) What size dog are you looking for?
Small to medium, ish.
11) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle?
Shedding is not a problem for me, I grew up with cats and they got fur everywhere. Barking needs to be minimal because I share a wall with neighbors. Not a huge fan of slobber, would prefer minimal but I know it can't be completely avoided.
12) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area?
It's not going to happen, too many other irresponsible owners who allow their dogs to roam.
Dog Personality and Behavior
13) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space?
Somewhere in the middle? I'd like a dog who is willing to cuddle in my lap but I don't want a Velcro dog.
14) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that’s more eager-to-please?
More eager to please will probably be easier for me to handle.
15) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors?
I don't get a lot of visitors, but I would prefer a dog who doesn't react. I don't want a watchdog.
16) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs?
No
17) Are there any other behaviors you can’t deal with or want to avoid?
Resource guarding, poop eating.
Lifestyle
18) How often and how long will the dog be left alone?
Anywhere from 3-8 hours depending on my schedule.
19) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog?
I live alone.
20) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal are they?
I might get a fishtank at some point but I'm currently only allowed to have one dog / cat at a time
21) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly?
Probably not, but the kids in my town don't have good manners around dogs so there is a chance that they'll do the "squeal a puppy" run to pet routine while on walks. Will be avoiding the area around the schools for this reason.
22) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease?
Currently renting, 35 pound size limit.
23) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds?
New Mexico, USA. I don't think there are any local laws regarding specific dog breeds. We have local leash laws but nobody pays attention and nobody enforces them.
24) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live?
Summer average is 85 but we've had days in the high 90s and even hit 100. Winter averages mid to low 40s but we definitely get sub freezing temps.
As a note: I have to go to work now so I won't be able to respond to things for a while, but I'll try to answer any potential questions when I can!

Hi everyone. My daughter who was 16 had dropped out of high school in November 2022. I encouraged her to check into a ged or getting a proper diploma. January 28th I pick her up from Florida to bring her to live with me in south Carolina so I could help with her education
My wife who I am going through a divorce with called dss and made accusations that I was smoking weed with my daughter and not letting her go to school.
Dss shows up February 14th and forces her and I to take a hair follicle test which of course we passed because we do not do drugs. I have enrolled her in excel high school online so she could get her actual high school diploma.
Dss is trying to say they are going to indicate the case because she was not enrolled in school since November, I told them that she legally dropped out in Florida and moved here, they are trying to tell me that because South Carolina is 17 to drop out that they will charge me with child neglect.
What are your opinions

So I (20M) went to a Christian retreat for a week and had a wonderful time. I met the girl (19F) of my dreams. She's perfect in every way, not only beautiful but with a vibrant personality that has great chemistry with me. We share the same fundamental Christian values and goals in our lives as well. I've met a lot of women, but have never been so in love. What is even more amazing is that she is attracted to me as well. I could write a whole essay on all the hints we dropped on each other that shows our mutual attraction, but I will omit it for the sake of brevity. All I need to say is that we spent almost all of our free time together on the trip and got to know each other quite well, talking for hours on end late into multiple nights. Just to be clearly transparent, there was no physical touching of any sort besides leaning against each other while watching movies/relaxing and also square dancing for about two hours for a dancing event at the retreat. We also fell asleep next to each other on the couch as we stayed up too late. This was almost most definitely seen by other people, but I didn't think too much of it. On the retreat, we also can write cards to each other. Most people write 20-second cards to each other and don't think too much of it. I decided to take approximately 2-3 hours in the night making a very special card for her that had about the best art I could manage and was as intricate as I could make it. I also poured out my heart into it and was as real as I could be. I told her not to read it until after the trip. When she eventually read it, she thought it was the sweetest and most eloquent thing ever. I could not be happier at how well she took it. She also wrote me a card of similar quality that was very kind and sweet.
​
Now, for the problem:
On the trip, when we talked about who we were dating, I said I was currently single and she said she was "talking" to someone (take that as you will). Over time, I eventually learned that essentially, a little over 2 months ago, she broke up with her high school long-distance relationship ex. After breaking up with her long-distance ex, she met this other guy (20M), who we'll call Mr. X. So she and Mr. X have been "talking"/hanging out (with romantic intent) for approximately 2 months. She said that she is disappointed in how Mr. X is not willing to commit to their relationship fully and is taking it too slowly. Apparently, she also dislikes how he does not make much time for her (has only hanged out with her once in the last month). Because I did not think this relationship was that serious, I did not think it to be a big deal if I continued hanging out with her, especially if she was reciprocating interest (tho please tell me if I'm wrong!). Also, it is worth noting that Mr. X was not present on this week-long retreat.
Anyways, after getting back from the retreat, this special girl and I continued to hang out for a day. She invited me to go to her church with her and I agreed. It was quite enjoyable. She also invited me to her Bible study, which I accepted as well. It is worth noting that Mr. X does not go with her to either of these, though he is Christian as well as both of us. However, it was around this time that someone from the retreat notified Mr. X of how extensively the girl and I were hanging out. He obviously did not take this very well and was quite hurt. He posted on his story that he "doesn't believe in love anymore". The girl then told me that she was quite anxious about the whole thing and would meet up with Mr. X later in the week to talk everything out. She said she did not want to hang out with me until then and thought I shouldn't go to her Bible study this week after all, which is quite understandable. She then apologized.
​
After receiving this message, I have no clue what to do and am quite anxious about the whole situation. She is so perfect and never in my life, out of all the women I've hanged out with, have I met someone so perfect. I'm not sure how to respond to her right now. All I can think of is letting her have her space and time to make her own decision, but I can't help but feel powerless and possibly at risk of losing someone I care about so deeply. If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you

So I (20M) went to a Christian retreat for a week and had a wonderful time. I met the girl (19F) of my dreams. She's perfect in every way, not only beautiful but with a vibrant personality that has great chemistry with me. We share the same fundamental Christian values and goals in our lives as well. I've met a lot of women, but have never been so in love. What is even more amazing is that she is attracted to me as well. I could write a whole essay on all the hints we dropped on each other that shows our mutual attraction, but I will omit it for the sake of brevity. All I need to say is that we spent almost all of our free time together on the trip and got to know each other quite well, talking for hours on end late into multiple nights. Just to be clearly transparent, there was no physical touching of any sort besides leaning against each other while watching movies/relaxing and also square dancing for about two hours for a dancing event at the retreat. We also fell asleep next to each other on the couch as we stayed up too late. This was almost most definitely seen by other people, but I didn't think too much of it. On the retreat, we also can write cards to each other. Most people write 20-second cards to each other and don't think too much of it. I decided to take approximately 2-3 hours in the night making a very special card for her that had about the best art I could manage and was as intricate as I could make it. I also poured out my heart into it and was as real as I could be. I told her not to read it until after the trip. When she eventually read it, she thought it was the sweetest and most eloquent thing ever. I could not be happier at how well she took it. She also wrote me a card of similar quality that was very kind and sweet.
​
Now, for the problem:
On the trip, when we talked about who we were dating, I said I was currently single and she said she was "talking" to someone (take that as you will). Over time, I eventually learned that essentially, a little over 2 months ago, she broke up with her high school long-distance relationship ex. After breaking up with her long-distance ex, she met this other guy (20M), who we'll call Mr. X. So she and Mr. X have been "talking"/hanging out (with romantic intent) for approximately 2 months. She said that she is disappointed in how Mr. X is not willing to commit to their relationship fully and is taking it too slowly. Apparently, she also dislikes how he does not make much time for her (has only hanged out with her once in the last month). Because I did not think this relationship was that serious, I did not think it to be a big deal if I continued hanging out with her, especially if she was reciprocating interest (tho please tell me if I'm wrong!). Also, it is worth noting that Mr. X was not present on this week-long retreat.
Anyways, after getting back from the retreat, this special girl and I continued to hang out for a day. She invited me to go to her church with her and I agreed. It was quite enjoyable. She also invited me to her Bible study, which I accepted as well. It is worth noting that Mr. X does not go with her to either of these, though he is Christian as well as both of us. However, it was around this time that someone from the retreat notified Mr. X of how extensively the girl and I were hanging out. He obviously did not take this very well and was quite hurt. He posted on his story that he "doesn't believe in love anymore". The girl then told me that she was quite anxious about the whole thing and would meet up with Mr. X later in the week to talk everything out. She said she did not want to hang out with me until then and thought I shouldn't go to her Bible study this week after all, which is quite understandable. She then apologized.
​
After receiving this message, I have no clue what to do and am quite anxious about the whole situation. She is so perfect and never in my life, out of all the women I've hanged out with, have I met someone so perfect. I'm not sure how to respond to her right now. All I can think of is letting her have her space and time to make her own decision, but I can't help but feel powerless and possibly at risk of losing someone I care about so deeply. If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you

So I (20M) went to a Christian retreat for a week and had a wonderful time. I met the girl (19F) of my dreams. She's perfect in every way, not only beautiful but with a vibrant personality that has great chemistry with me. We share the same fundamental Christian values and goals in our lives as well. I've met a lot of women, but have never been so in love. What is even more amazing is that she is attracted to me as well. I could write a whole essay on all the hints we dropped on each other that shows our mutual attraction, but I will omit it for the sake of brevity. All I need to say is that we spent almost all of our free time together on the trip and got to know each other quite well, talking for hours on end late into multiple nights. Just to be clearly transparent, there was no physical touching of any sort besides leaning against each other while watching movies/relaxing and also square dancing for about two hours for a dancing event at the retreat. We also fell asleep next to each other on the couch as we stayed up too late. This was almost most definitely seen by other people, but I didn't think too much of it. On the retreat, we also can write cards to each other. Most people write 20-second cards to each other and don't think too much of it. I decided to take approximately 2-3 hours in the night making a very special card for her that had about the best art I could manage and was as intricate as I could make it. I also poured out my heart into it and was as real as I could be. I told her not to read it until after the trip. When she eventually read it, she thought it was the sweetest and most eloquent thing ever. I could not be happier at how well she took it. She also wrote me a card of similar quality that was very kind and sweet.
​
Now, for the problem:
On the trip, when we talked about who we were dating, I said I was currently single and she said she was "talking" to someone (take that as you will). Over time, I eventually learned that essentially, a little over 2 months ago, she broke up with her high school long-distance relationship ex. After breaking up with her long-distance ex, she met this other guy (20M), who we'll call Mr. X. So she and Mr. X have been "talking"/hanging out (with romantic intent) for approximately 2 months. She said that she is disappointed in how Mr. X is not willing to commit to their relationship fully and is taking it too slowly. Apparently, she also dislikes how he does not make much time for her (has only hanged out with her once in the last month). Because I did not think this relationship was that serious, I did not think it to be a big deal if I continued hanging out with her, especially if she was reciprocating interest (tho please tell me if I'm wrong!). Also, it is worth noting that Mr. X was not present on this week-long retreat.
Anyways, after getting back from the retreat, this special girl and I continued to hang out for a day. She invited me to go to her church with her and I agreed. It was quite enjoyable. She also invited me to her Bible study, which I accepted as well. It is worth noting that Mr. X does not go with her to either of these, though he is Christian as well as both of us. However, it was around this time that someone from the retreat notified Mr. X of how extensively the girl and I were hanging out. He obviously did not take this very well and was quite hurt. He posted on his story that he "doesn't believe in love anymore". The girl then told me that she was quite anxious about the whole thing and would meet up with Mr. X later in the week to talk everything out. She said she did not want to hang out with me until then and thought I shouldn't go to her Bible study this week after all, which is quite understandable. She then apologized.
​
After receiving this message, I have no clue what to do and am quite anxious about the whole situation. She is so perfect and never in my life, out of all the women I've hanged out with, have I met someone so perfect. I'm not sure how to respond to her right now. All I can think of is letting her have her space and time to make her own decision, but I can't help but feel powerless and possibly at risk of losing someone I care about so deeply. If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you

I have come to have about $6200 in credit card debt (spread out over 4 cards) that I just cannot seem to pay off. My credit score is pretty low as a result, which is making it hard to get approved for any debt consolidation loans, personal loans, balance transfer cards, etc. Does anyone have any advice for where to go from here? I think consolidation feels like the most feasible option for me personally -- the possibility of having just one payment a month seems a lot more doable then having to continuously pay the minimum on all 4 cards, only for that same amount to be charged back in interest the next month.
For context, my monthly take-home is about $3400, but I live in a city with a pretty high cost of living, and my rent is not cheap either.
No judgment here please, just trying desperately to get out of this debt so I can breathe again. Any advice helps.

So I (20M) went to a Christian retreat for a week and had a wonderful time. I met the girl (19F) of my dreams. She's perfect in every way, not only beautiful but with a vibrant personality that has great chemistry with me. We share the same fundamental Christian values and goals in our lives as well. I've met a lot of women, but have never been so in love. What is even more amazing is that she is attracted to me as well. I could write a whole essay on all the hints we dropped on each other that shows our mutual attraction, but I will omit it for the sake of brevity. All I need to say is that we spent almost all of our free time together on the trip and got to know each other quite well, talking for hours on end late into multiple nights. Just to be clearly transparent, there was no physical touching of any sort besides leaning against each other while watching movies/relaxing and also square dancing for about two hours for a dancing event at the retreat. We also fell asleep next to each other on the couch as we stayed up too late. This was almost most definitely seen by other people, but I didn't think too much of it. On the retreat, we also can write cards to each other. Most people write 20-second cards to each other and don't think too much of it. I decided to take approximately 2-3 hours in the night making a very special card for her that had about the best art I could manage and was as intricate as I could make it. I also poured out my heart into it and was as real as I could be. I told her not to read it until after the trip. When she eventually read it, she thought it was the sweetest and most eloquent thing ever. I could not be happier at how well she took it. She also wrote me a card of similar quality that was very kind and sweet.
​
Now, for the problem:
On the trip, when we talked about who we were dating, I said I was currently single and she said she was "talking" to someone (take that as you will). Over time, I eventually learned that essentially, a little over 2 months ago, she broke up with her high school long-distance relationship ex. After breaking up with her long-distance ex, she met this other guy (20M), who we'll call Mr. X. So she and Mr. X have been "talking"/hanging out (with romantic intent) for approximately 2 months. She said that she is disappointed in how Mr. X is not willing to commit to their relationship fully and is taking it too slowly. Apparently, she also dislikes how he does not make much time for her (has only hanged out with her once in the last month). Because I did not think this relationship was that serious, I did not think it to be a big deal if I continued hanging out with her, especially if she was reciprocating interest (tho please tell me if I'm wrong!). Also, it is worth noting that Mr. X was not present on this week-long retreat.
Anyways, after getting back from the retreat, this special girl and I continued to hang out for a day. She invited me to go to her church with her and I agreed. It was quite enjoyable. She also invited me to her Bible study, which I accepted as well. It is worth noting that Mr. X does not go with her to either of these, though he is Christian as well as both of us. However, it was around this time that someone from the retreat notified Mr. X of how extensively the girl and I were hanging out. He obviously did not take this very well and was quite hurt. He posted on his story that he "doesn't believe in love anymore". The girl then told me that she was quite anxious about the whole thing and would meet up with Mr. X later in the week to talk everything out. She said she did not want to hang out with me until then and thought I shouldn't go to her Bible study this week after all, which is quite understandable. She then apologized.
​
After receiving this message, I have no clue what to do and am quite anxious about the whole situation. She is so perfect and never in my life, out of all the women I've hanged out with, have I met someone so perfect. I'm not sure how to respond to her right now. All I can think of is letting her have her space and time to make her own decision, but I can't help but feel powerless and possibly at risk of losing someone I care about so deeply. If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you

Diagnosed with depression and anxiety since young diagnosed at 14 am now 19 first went in the ward few years ago on a suicide attempt ended in er went to ward and got the healing I needed but when I had another close call to death I moved in with my best friend at the time got some more help when I needed it but since my last visit I haven't been the same constant anxiety in life like as I'm living in survival mode Continuously don't know who I am anymore or what I like or what I want to do in life. What I enjoyed, I would enjoy no longer if I've been out the ward a few months and I'm living on government funds which makes me feel like I'm just using money given to me not a good feeling since then I haven't felt myself struggling to feed myself still and take care of basic needs I hate going outside and can't find ways to get myself out the house often over bearing my boyfriend I just can't seem to help myself cook or clean I really wanna believe I'm doing better but it always goes back in a circle feeling the same feeling over and over again. especially with me not finishing high school its been tough to get a job my boyfriend has been doing ok I'm should be happy in that matter but I keep knowing what I need to do but my body won't respond or do anything good for myself please if anyone knows any advice or has any tips on finding myself again its been four months should I still be feeling this way?

Pretty simple as that.
Ever since I was in elementary school I have always felt that I only needed 1 friend, or more than 1 was too much. I did have a best friend during elementary but I always had FOMO. I was the type to be clingy , or I would feel left out if they weren’t hanging out with me. I remember in an elementary field trip when that same best friend told me she’d sit with me and just sat with someone else… I ended up sitting alone on the bus. The situation hurt and had happened once or twice but I don’t know why it’s something I think about to this day. Maybe it was one of the first times I actually felt hurt as a child.
My elementary best friend was very important to me. We met in Kinder and ended up being friends until Freshman year. We would have sleepovers and we would just talk about anything. Our family knew each other, we became softball teammates. I fucked up the friendship. I became a horrible friend , I wasn’t there for her and i made mistakes that I know fucked her up. I have messaged her and she never replied. I regret it to this day, and I will always have love for her. She is a core memory and instead of being sad, I try to be grateful because maybe we were only meant to be in each other’s lives for a period of time.
In 5-6th grade my depression started kicking in before I knew what depression was. I would cry out of nowhere and would either excuse myself or cry in class. I remember I started to see a therapist in school. I would be called out like once a week during a time and I hated it bc it drew attention to me. Around this time I also became close with my teacher. She was aware of my breakdowns and would try to talk to me… she would reassure that I’m smart and would always ask me how I felt. I feel like she was one of the first people who believed in me. I have a core memory of her reading a poem I wrote and telling me I should become a poet or writer. To this day I still write poetry. Due to my elementary school closing I ended up seeing her again last year for a proper goodbye. She is truly one of those people I will always remember.
As time passed on I had like 3 friends in Jr High and other students were just people I knew. I never had a big social group, in fact I would try so hard to find one. Around Jr High is the time I started to have suicidal thoughts. I was battling with my gender identity and my sexuality. I was being bullied for the stupidest things (what I would wear) and I just felt like I had nobody. Even my “closest” friends didn’t feel like my closest friends because of how much I felt like I was changing. This is the time when I started looking for social groups and more friends. I joined choir with my former best friend, but also hoping to be introduced to more. I won’t lie, I was attracted to a lot of people so I would talk to a lot of people, which kinda killed my “reputation”. And my depression was worse, that I ended up hospitalized twice in Jr. high.
Jr High felt like a lot but I know HS was worse. Too much drama.. I got into more relationships, people didn’t like me but also a lot of people didn’t know me. I tried being outgoing more in HS. Never ended up joining clubs though, (or I would but wouldn’t follow through) I remember trying out for softball but I didn’t even make it to the second round. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I found out that my old best friend made it on. I felt like that was karma to me. It took me a while to get over our friendship.
I kept dating and focusing on school. The first two years I was getting A’s and B’s. The last two years I kinda stopped trying and I blame myself completely. I let weed kinda take over my high school life. I didn’t go to parties , I would just smoke or do homework. I didn’t end up walking for graduation with the class. I was behind in school and would miss often. I took summer school to get my diploma. I didn’t go to any prom. I missed out on all the senior activities. And I blame myself. I isolated myself , and a part of me feels I couldn’t make friends. And that I still can’t.
Im 18 about to be 19 now. I know people from high school but I wouldn’t consider them friends. I know I’m young, and I know it’s a lot but I just want to talk to people but I have such bad anxiety and I just feel like I do self sabotage.

This is me venting so I apologize in advance for the length. She called me an attention-seeker, lazy ass and womanchild. I have a weak autoimmune system and was subjected to many illnesses ( anemia , kidney stones, hypoglycemia,hyperthyroidism, eye disease that makes me have terrible migraines till I throw up, etc.). Every doctor I went to told me I have a weak immune system and I should be more careful with my body. I was exempted from many PE classes until the exam where they went easy on me due to my diseases.
She never taught me anything and got mad at me for failing a task. She never taught me how to sew nor how to cook. I am a slow-paced learner and struggle to focus with details so I need to practice something and got it reviewed many times in order to learn something. While her golden child is a fast-paced learner and she always tells me how proud of him she is everyday. Despite watching many YouTube videos, I still don't know how to sew. She told me she never had the time and how others learn from YouTube and so should I. The ones who taught me how to cook were my classmates and high school teachers. She never lets me cook in the house because in her words, it's disgusting. The only times when I got to cook was during High school events. I felt proud of myself since everyone liked it every time.
Now I got sick because I got hungry and there was nothing to eat. I got a terrible stomach ache and fell ill with a terrible migraine that made me puke and my body trembling all over till the point I struggled to hold a glass. My body heated up so bad I felt like a volcano while my insides were cold if that makes sense. I can't handle the cold and can get sick even from a little breeze so I never wash the dishes at night but in the morning . She always refused to buy something for me, even snacks, on the pretext that she always forgets because she's so busy yada yada.
Now my problem is that I dropped out of college 2 years ago and yet I still live with her and her golden child. I'm not from the US and my best friends left the country. Despite me learning many skills on the net and selling it for almost free (ie copywriting and translating 250 words for $3 or cold calling someone for $5 per prospect), I don't have any gigs due to my lack of experience and me coming from a poor country. So everyone backs out, thinking I'm a scammer.
Her golden child is on his 4th year of dropping from college and doing nothing until last year when he decided to help her in her job because he was fired from a company in which he was for 6 months.
I remember for 2 years, he did nothing and I had to clean the dishes every night, work for my mother from 7 am till 7 pm on the basis that she let me stay in her house for free. And it was hard managing time. He only played games in his bedroom and got out just to eat. I even had sleep deprivation due to him being loud at night and my N-mother doing nothing.
Now, after being depressed and dropping out from college 2 years ago and me wasting my time for her, I stopped helping her last year since I take care of 15 cats her son refused to let go and 3 dogs. It's hard and she told me compared to what my brother does, it's not physically challenging. I clean the place where they stay at least 5 times a day, feed them 2x, clean all of their plates and petsit them everyday when they get out while changing 3 huge litters everyday. She told me my brother and her had it worse and she's sick of me complaining.

I’ve read a bunch of posts about divorce in Japan, but am concerned about a certain aspect.
I'm (42F) an Australian trying to get my Japanese husband (45M) to go through with the divorce he has brought up in every major fight pretty much since we got married fifteen years ago. For ages I’ve fought to keep our family (kids 9, 11, 13) together as there is a lot of good. But that’s done. After years of emotional and financial abuse I finally agree we aren’t working.
A few weeks ago we agreed to split, we have an old house I could live in down the road, so no huge disruption to the kids. I don’t want half his anything, I wasn’t even asking for the house, just the opportunity to live there until the youngest graduated high school. But once he realized I wouldn’t be doing everything around here anymore, he had second thoughts and did what I believe is unforgivable.
He woke the kids up, declared I wanted a divorce and was leaving, and told them I just wanted my freedom and that I loved my hobbies more than them. He proceeded to inform me he wasn’t agreeing to a divorce, or helping me leave, and if I wanted out I’d have to escape. I didn’t agree to anything and have been working on extracting myself ever since. I have an appointment with a lawyer, have been securing extra translating jobs, I even found a house. He says he’ll fix what’s wrong and treat me well until I love and trust him again. Good luck with that. I didn’t agree to anything, just told the kids I wouldn’t be leaving straight away.
I warned him that the next time he told me to leave, I would. My problem is that I wouldn’t be able to take the kids immediately. They have a lovely home here, and while he’s a terrible husband he’s not a bad father. It’s never been my intention to separate them, we had a whole plan worked out where they stayed with one or the other freely.
If I leave to set up our new life elsewhere, what are my chances of eventually getting them back?

Hello zen, welcome to my ongoing experimental book report on David Hinton’s China Root.¹
The “experimental” part of this book report is mostly for my personal self-observation: I have been doing it over such a long span of time that, at this point, I am significantly reduced, in a cognitice sense, compared to where I was when I began issuing “reports” on David Hinton’s curious tome several years ago now. (I have early onset dementia—and the fact of the matter is that I’m already a decade beyond the “early” part, for all practical purposes.)
I only introduce this subject to explain any verbal deficiences in this post. I am nicotine-less, and still trying to figure out how to get my brain to output words in a consistent or coherent manner. I’m totally incapable of filming videos right now, as I forget what I am talking about within 5 minutes. But when I woke up today I saw a post from u/sje397 in my feed, and it reminded me of how kind and cordial he was to me when I first posted here, and I thought: “Well that really did work out pretty well, didn’t it?” And so I wanted to pop up with a post that showed him that my efforts to bring my study of Ch’an to this forum have not deviated one iota since that very first video—in which I brandished an apple rather wildly, talked about sutt, and made a pretty decent broom joke, if I remember correctly.
In any case, I have the perfect content slotted up: the next two chapter’s in my revolutionary book report on David Hinton’s locally controversial book: China Root. (Revolutionary because, while I have never been a fan of the book report standard, nor highschool nor university scholarship whatsoever, I did find it important to try and fit in with zen locals, by offering them one example of their favorite form of content: one book report in classical “book report” style. [Linseed: Full disclosure: most of the time when I wrote book reports in elementary school, I did so in the form of short fictions that discussed the text—so reporting on a book as if I am some desk bound nerd that puts weight into “scholarship” and “facts” does not come naturally…so just keep in mind that, even though this is a book report, it is still offered up by a literati who is neither drunk on themself, nor on anynone else, nor on any particular pack of lies that is bundled together and sold as “authority” to the masses. Thanks.])
No…even my book reports are quite clearly the product of a literati, and not some desk-fascist who has something to “prove with words”—so I do hope you enjoy!
First, here is a run down of book reports so far, for any who are curious, want to get up to date on the book, or who are interested in what the process of reporting on a book thoroughly looks like (for the many of you who have never actually seen that before):
Introduction: a work on "Original Zen."
Reader's Note and First Chapter
Meditation, Breath, Mind, and Words
Absence
Empty-Mind and Mirror
Bonus post:
The Utility of China Root for Literate People
Oh, and before we actually proceed: you are caught up to me in my own progress in the book so far. It’s kind of an exciting moment for me, honestly, because while I have profited immensely from Mr. Hinton’s poetry translations over the years (and I highly recommend both his Li Po and his updated Tu Fu)—to be completely straightforward I have never found his philosophical interests engaging or pertinent, think his take on a “Tao” based framework of “Ch’an” wonky to the point where I ask “so this is only for PhD’s with $400 sweaters and / or rural aristocracy that have things like actual looms in their homes?”, and am entirely unconvinced that an “academic” poetry translator with a giant list of millionaire foundations in his resume is going to be able to successfully introduce Ch’an at all.
And after the above introductory segments, we start to get into the real world today. Let’s see what the “artist-intellectual” aristocrat has to share with us tired and lowly masses on the subject of Ch’an, shall we?

山水 Rivers-and-Mountains

This chapter is probably of the least interest to the zen user. (But is particularly useful for New Ager lampoonery.) It’s worth plucking out two quotes in order to show who Hinton is and how he sees himself / his approach to Ch’an, as well as how he recognizes not only himself but also, clearly, many of his readers in Tang and Song China’s class of artist intellectuals. This certainly makes him somewhat of an outlier in the world of Zen study (and it also restricts him to a certain demogrpahic of readers, and obviously flips the bird to many others, such as non-artists and non-intellectuals, scholars, members of religious instituitions, etc snd so on). It is worth pointing at this location of his book when it comes to audience, however: because this is the audience he has been cultivating very successfully for several decades, and it is the audience where this particular book already has and will continue to find many readers: ie the class of artists and intellectuals (many of whom are academics) who choose to live in rural settings (or keep a vacation home there)—and enjoy reading poetry. This is why I know this book will actually be read by quite a few people. I live among this demogrpahic, and have already seen Hinton’s book surface in the wild amongst readers who never expressed a lick of interest in “Zen” or “Buddhism.” (It’s weird—I thought users here would be particularly interested in this tome due to the fact that it will reach completely beyond the world of relgious instituitions and thought, and bring a new wave of secular readers to Zen…sadly the curioisity, verve, and amicability of the contemporary “internet scholar” apprenely leave much to be desired.)
Now, obviously 99% of these folks, the “artist intellectuals” Hinton writes for, would never stoop to touch Reddit—which is precisely why I feel this forum owes them, but even more so Reddit users, a thorough review of Hinton’s book. (And please, do add your comments and opinions about the book to this OP—I would love to see them myself.)
But wait—I suppose some of you may be asking, “well if this book is written for a bunch of folks with oil paint and bruschetta on their fingers, or who have those fancy tethers on their eyeglasses that allow them to be taken off and rested on the chest while while eyes are opened a little wider, looking up and out some window some mountain or some river vista, as they wistfully contemplate their analgoues in medieval China—then why should I be interested?” ::redditor munches doritos:: Well, while that is a question only you can answer, reader, I can say that, if you ever do end up becoming the sort of student of Zen who moves to a rural locale, and begins walking around with a stick—or even if you just visit on some pastoral vacation—the book will / can be rather useful when you’re walking on the path and you bump into someone who quotes Leibniz, or mumbles something about Chartres when they see a particulalrly grand upended tree…and you want to poke that person in the eye.
Anyway. Hinton on how he sees things, and the very specific class of folks he writes his book for—even while clearly halfway imagining that class into existence himself (call it a “writing trick” I suppose):
(On the “cenrality if landscape” in “Chinese culture and Ch’an practice”)

This explains the centrality of landscape in Chinese culture and Ch’an practice: indeed, the abiding spiritual aspiration of China’s artist-intellectuals was to dwell as integral to rivers-and-mountains landscape. The cultivation of this dwelling took many forms, all of which recognized rivers-and-mountains landscape as the open door to realization. Ancient artist-intellectuals lived whenever possible as recluses in the mountains, wandered there where that cosmological process could be experienced in the most immediate possible way. The arts were considered ways to cultivate that dwelling: poetry being most essentially rivers-and-mountains poetry, painting most essentially rivers-and-mountains painting. And that dwelling was also the central concern of Ch’an practice.

Hmm. Like I said, this guy’s wonky. Maybe if I went to one of my fancier neighbor’s houses—while they smoked high-cbd, low THC cannabis, and casually ate something I didn’t even recognize (likely while dipping it in something else that looks like my monthly food budget contained in one bowl)—and listened to them pontificate about what happened that one time they “did psylicibin right after reading Walt Whitman on a camping trip in the Himalayas”…this would resonate. [Linseed: Hey, they read a lot—but I’m not saying they’re particulalry skilled at reading what when where or how!]
Anyway, you see how Hinton writes about this stuff. “Good luck getting through WWIII ‘aritst-intelleftuals’! I truly hope your walnut wardrobes and families and looms and easels and designer dog breeds—and literally to die for appaeritif spreads—all manage to navigate history safely together, with nary a hiccough or a stumble!”
—Linseeed (for reals)
In this next passage we see Hinton’s highly personal and very…idk, sort of “radically independent”² take on the history and location of Ch’an. What is interesting is what he brings up about the centrality of mountains in the Ch’an record. (I mean when the local “Zen Master” is often given the name of the local mountain, it does tell you something.) Anwyay, Hinton being weird and some other stuff:

Ch’an’s beginnings can be traced to around the fourth century C.E., when there was a resurgence and deepening of Taoist thought (Dark- Enigma Learning) together with the beginning of landscape’s centrality for China’s artist-intellectuals, most notably when China’s mature mainstream poetic tradition emerged in the form of rivers- and-mountains poetry invented by two epochal poets: T’ao Ch’ien and Hsieh Ling-yün (author of “Regarding the Source Ancestral,” a seminal text in Ch’an). The reason for this is no doubt the mirror- deep clarity of empty mirror-mind that Buddhist meditation so resolutely cultivated. And in fact, the original meanings of the Ch’an ideogram, before it was chosen to translate the Sanskrit dhyana (“meditation”), were “altar” and “sacrifice to rivers-and-mountains.” Hence, meditation as a place where one honors or celebrates rivers- and-mountains. In addition, Ch’an monasteries were typically located in remote mountains (those in cities surrounded themselves with the domesticated landscapes of gardens), and Ch’an masters leading those monasteries generally took the names of local mountains as their own because they so deeply identified with mountain landscape: Hundred-Elder Mountain, Yellow-Bitterroot Mountain, Cloud-Gate Mountain, Heaven-Dragon Mountain, Wind- Source Mountain, River-Act Mountain, Buddha-Land Mountain, Cloud-Lucent Mountain, Doubt-Shrine Mountain, Fathom Mountain, Moon-Shrine Mountain, and indeed: Mirror-Sight Mountain.

So much for the “New Ager Crack” chapter—let’s get to some interesting stuff.

法 Dharma

Holy Smokes! Hinton is finally gonna talk about something real! 😜 (Or at least we can hope…I have no idea—these are uncharted waters for me from here on out.)

In common usage, 法 (Dharma) means “law.” The first sense of the “law” in Ch’an is simply the teachings of the Ch’an tradition, the essential truths about reality and the essential principles that guide practice. But that initial meaning is quickly dismantled, because Ch’an’s essential teaching resides outside of words and ideas.

Oh shit! Did he just kill all scholars with one stroke?!? Those feisty artist-intellectuals! Must be a warzone in the academy these days, what between the old guard and the encroahing corporatists, who carry the banner of “truth” wherever they go backlit by flames.
After this passage he goes into some of his worst (imo) schtick: talking about how Tao “unfurled” into “Dahrma / Ch’an”, etc. The aritst intellectuals might slurp it up, idk—but that milkshake offers no real flavor to a student of Zen that I detect.
Now he quotes Huangbo (whom he coyly refers to as “Yellow Bitteroot Mountain”):

This dharma is mind: outside of mind, there is no dharma. And this mind is dharma: outside of dharma, there is no mind.

And wowzers, this is going to make some folks choke on tea:

Mountain continues (in a passage we have already seen) to equate both to Absence: “Mind is of itself Absence-mind, is indeed Absence- mind Absence.” So in Ch’an, dharma can be known through meditation where one can “see original-nature.” In fact, Bodhidharma described dharma as “the inner-pattern of original- nature’s purity.”18

Pretty spicy, n’est pas, zen users? Now, this “Inner Pattern” concept is an interesting one that I’ll come back to in a future post. For now, he ends on the “dharma” thusly:

And so, dharma’s wordless teaching resides in empty-mind, rivers- and-mountains landscape, the sheer thusness of everyday life.
And as Patriarch Sudden- Horse Way-Entire says, dwelling as integral to that dharma is itself the liberation of awakening: The dharma of all things themselves, that is the Buddha-dharma. All those dharmas together are liberation, and that liberation is the existence-tissue itself all clarity absolute.

Is not “Sudden-Horse Way-Entire” the absolute best “Zen Master Name” for that particular patriarch? Imo, the names are the most fun part of the book thus far.
What did you think of the last paragraph, zen? Is it comprehensible to you? Or does it make you sneeze birkenstocks, and screw Odyssean wax out of your ear with one finger?
My opinion so far is that Cleary is defintiely a better translator, and that this “intro” book seems so wonky, thus far, that I am not sure if it will ever limp its way out of the library of some retired Don Quixote, or not. Thankfully, time will tell—and all I have to do is write a book report.
—Linseed
PS: How was that, sje? It took both you and spring herself peeking in my window this morning—but I did eek out some content.
¹ The most recent installments were made under the moniker of u/golden_eyebrow, that alter-id I conjured to a lonely and savage life of historical piracy, and launched into the past and future last summer.
² Is it still worth making literary or etymological jokes in this forum? Or am I already the last of the funny people?

I played tennis in high school and want to hit the ball again. How can I find a partner or league? I’ve googled leagues and there’s so many, does anyone have a rec for a solid league?
Down to play competitively or just hit, trying to understand what the tennis scene is out here. I’m a pretty average player (i think), really just want to build up my skills again and have some fun playing.
Also I live in pacific heights area and would like to go to courts that are in that area. Thanks!

What material things do I need? An empty apartment makes me a "man child". You have to have a car to be an adult apparently, but people can somehow tell your entire life from a car. What is the right clothing to wear? Dressing up too well is wrong. Looking too "European" is wrong. Looking too poor is trashy. Expressing yourself with your clothing makes you a manchild. You need to do something with your life, but don't do certain hobbies and sports because they're linked to being wrong. MMA makes you alt right. Fencing makes you a manchild. Yoga makes you a creep, as does skating if you're over 25. Playing guitar makes you someone who "peaked in high school".
There's a rapidly growing population dressed in rags and living in tents. In my opinion at least, if you even have an empty studio, and you're able to take up a hobby, you're doing well. I don't get why we're supposed to just label ourselves complete failures if we don't check all these boxes that are more and more unobtainable.

Can anyone relate to me (21F)? I am a newly grad and I just received a few job offers. From what I see, I am going to make about $5000/month after tax? Is it reasonable that my mom demands me to give her at least $3500/month because she chose to spend her savings to provide my post-secondary education? She told me that she had no job and it was a privilege that I could continue my academics instead of working straight out of high school and that I owe her and she felt so disrespected as she has to "beg" me instead of me voluntarily to hand over the money. Like, I can totally understand that she needs money to live and I would also totally give her money, but I feel like it's too much, it's so pressuring. She made it sounded like the money I am going to earn are what I owe her and I should even be grateful that she "allows" me to have some money left for myself. I'm so stressed about this situation. Do I really owe her for the money she paid for my post-secondary education? What should I do? Also, she had savings from divorcing with my dad. She had been a housewife since I was born. I am fully committed in giving her money, but sth doesn't seem right here.

I remained the RA of my dorm for the rest of my undergrad career. Then, after I graduated, there were some problems lining up a job. Apparently Stewart Newman's father was a biochemist, and little Stewart was destined to fend off extradimensional invaders (and yes, I know there is one reader who is now furiously typing up a letter explaining that the Chchshiuuni are NOT from another dimension, but I've read the Wikipedia article three times and I don't understand the distinction. You're reading my memoir, not my scientific explanation of extranormal invaders). His father, biochemist Victor Newman, was killed when the laboratory he worked at was hit by a meteorite. According to the investigative report the meteorite passed through 6 cylinders of various compressed gasses, ricocheted off a 7th, broke through a water line, shattered 9 containers of various other chemicals, then cracked the isolation unit on some kind of algae they were breeding for research on biofuels. This happened at 4:41 AM. Apparently this created something of a perfect storm as the chemicals reacted with the water and a very specific molecule produced by the algae acted as a catalyst which worked together to form pentanitroethyltoluenic acid, which is, according to the laws of chemistry, a chemical which desperately does not want to exist. For those not versed in chemistry, this stuff makes TNT look like HBO. That was supposed to say "H2O" but the I actually like it better this way. Anyway, the molecule was being synthesized in the laboratory for over four hours, until Victor arrived at a little before 9:00. His foot crossed the threshold and the laboratory detonated.
Prior to this event the company that ran the lab had just spent a bundle on a new security system with off site recording. This was the only evidence that could be used to put together the events, as according to the official report it "was as if God pressed the delete key".
So now that that story is floating around on Google there weren't a lot of labs that wanted to hire me. So I said fuck it. My ride is being paid for, let's go for a master's degree. Not like I had anything better to do. So I stayed in my dorm, working on my masters, and continued to be the RA.
A lot of the other RAs had horror stories about their dorms. About the nightmares they put up with. For me, for the most part, it was a breeze. If you want to become an RA and have an easy time with it, I have a few simple steps to insure you have it good.
Step 1: inherit the position from someone who's widely respected (thank you Helga)
Step 2: that person who is highly respected should make it known that you're carrying on their torch. (Thank you Helga)
Step 3: have really great women in your dorm. (Thank you Mr Pols)
Step 4: do your very best to fill the size 19 clogs that have been left for you to fill (wait, are clogs German? Oh who cares, I just said the Chchshiuuni were from another dimension)
That's not to say it was easy. I just didn't get the horror stories that others got. I never had to deal with Shane the Showerless or the Roach Incident. What I did have, however, were a lot of young women to look out for. And a lot of young women who came to me with their problems.
By the 2nd week I'd learned everyone's names, knew their majors, had a general idea about their schedules, home lives, and study habits. I knew who was a hard worker, who could keep a secret, who could hotwire a car, who could safely and reliably distill liquor and extract THC (It was me for those last 2 things. Hooray for biochemistry!) Not that I admit to having done any of those things, at least until the statute of limitations has passed. I also knew who needed help in their classes, who was too naive to go to a party alone, and who I could send them with to be sure they had a good time and made it home safe and sound.
In my third week as RA I called Helga because I missed her (I LOVE YOU HELGA) and we talked for like four hours and I gave her the rundown on everyone there and my assessments of such. Helga is many things, but a braggart is not one of them. It came as a surprise when Helga gloated for a full ten minutes about how she was right in her assessment of me. And yes, I guess it was pretty clever of me to "throw together five Amy's and a Rachel for frat party safety patrol." Rachel and Amy 3 were eye candy to serve as a diversion, Amy 2 and Amy 5 were recon to search for overly intoxicated girls, and Amy 1 and Amy 4 could either extract said girls like a SEAL team or steal booze like a… uh… SEAL team, as the situation dictated. By the end of the year they all had radios they used to stay in communication. I don't know where they got them, but they said they didn't buy them and were really evasive when asked about their origins.
Having taken over for Helga, I also grew something of a reputation. I kept her open door policy, any time, any problem, come talk to Shannon. You didn't need to be in my dorm. You didn't even need to be a woman. Hell, you didn't even need to be a student at our school. If you had a problem, I was available.
No one has problems at 2:00 on a sleepy afternoon when you've got a lot of energy and not enough to do. So this policy did make things a fair bit harder for me. Don't get me wrong, I've never regretted my policy, but problems did happen at almost comically inconvenient times.
For example, when I was having a really, really bad period and throwing up every six seconds, Amy (which Amy? I'll never tell. Just kidding, it was Amy 4) came to me because she'd just found out her childhood dog had died. What did I do? Chug half a bottle of pepto and force down half a pint of butter pecan while I comforted her. I kept it down, too, until she was back in her room asleep. Butter pecan is not nearly as good coming back up.
Another time, little innocent Hannah got invited to a party the day of her last midterm, and really wanted to go. I had 4 mid terms left, and AMY team 6 was out or commission studying along with all my other go tos. So I went with her.
I don't think I'll ever forget that night. Hannah, sweet little innocent Hannah. Gorgeous, doe eyed Hannah. Naive, sheltered, quiet Hannah. Hannah is stunningly beautiful, and anyone who has met Hannah will know she has a very sharp wit and a way with words if you can get her to talk at all. What I didn't know is that she had a tongue sharp enough to kill a man at five paces. Hannah got rip roaring drunk (she did five shots in the 30 seconds it took me to pee) and then proceeded to massacre the entire fraternity.
Gary Fogelbaum was a senior, and a total dude bro. He was alright in a crisis and I do appreciate what he did when Pepper broke her leg, but at this point his respect for women left a bit to be desired. He could talk shit with the best of them, and he could take it better than he could dish it out. Five words. Five fucking words, and she left Gary Fogelbaum crying. He earned it. To be clear, she hadn't met Gary before. He sauntered up to her and hit on her, right in front of me. After her second no, he grabbed her hand and put it on his stomach and said "how can you say no to those abs."
Before I could knock his teeth out, Hannah, kind, caring, compassionate, saintly, Hannah disemboweled him. Right there in front of everybody. "Abs won't make daddy proud."
After that it was like something out of a Tarantino movie as I tried to steer her towards the door. Guys got in her way to try to avenge Gary and were verbally slaughtered without mercy. Heads were rolling, viscera was flying, blood was gushing. Nearly to the front door, someone grabbed her wrist.
Hannah spun with a gaze that could vaporize lead and her eyes landed on a short, skinny guy with glasses, who said "you almost forgot your purse" before handing it to her. She snatched her purse, shoved him against a wall and kissed him so hard I think his soul briefly left his body. And then we left. He's engaged to Hannah now, and I've got to say I'm a little jealous.

Hi All.
I am narrowing down my options for an Epidemiology MPH, and I would like folks' opinions on the University of Washington vs. the Colorado School of Public Health. Here are the factors that I am considering:

• The UW would cost me $48,000 in tuition for two years compared to $36,000 for Colorado. The cost of living in Denver is also lower. There is the possibility that I could get an RA position at the UW that would cover a good chunk of my expenses, but I get the feeling these positions are quite competitive. After speaking with a number of professors at Colorado, I feel pretty good about my chances of securing an assistantship. I could probably graduate from Colorado debt free but would likely need to take out $10-15k in loans to cover living expenses for the UW (assuming I do not get an RA position).
• I currently live in Seattle and would like to live in the PNW in the long term, but I would be fine moving elsewhere for 3-5 years to complete my MPH and gain some work experience in epidemiology. I already have 8 years of experience in global health program management, but I want to transition into (1) domestic public health and (2) epidemiology. During my program, I am going to focus on finding internships with a state department of health. I think that the UW and Colorado both have pretty strong ties to the relevant health departments.
• The UW is ranked higher than Colorado (#8 vs. #19). I feel like rankings do matter to a certain extent in the global health sphere, but people on this sub seem to think they don't matter much for getting a job domestically.
• I am particularly interested in environmental epidemiology, and both schools have some interesting research going on in this area. I get the impression that researchers at the UW are working on more high profile projects.

At the end of the day, my priority is going to a program where I will obtain data analysis skills, gain practical work experience in epidemiology, and build useful connections to help me secure a job in the public sector upon graduation. If folks have any thoughts, I would love to hear them!

Are there any sources to find school records?
I have had success finding one grandparent's high school yearbook on Classmates . com. But I can't find the other three, mostly because I don't know for sure what schools they went to. I know their birth years and can assume graduation dates. Of course, my assumption is based on being 18 when graduating so that might be wrong. I know where they lived and even have census data for their addresses. I just don't know if there's some source I'm overlooking to help find this information. I just think it would be fun to find photos of all of them when young.
Some details in case this helps:
Maternal grandfather born 1927 and lived in Erie, PA - my mom thinks he went to an all boys Catholic School. Assume he graduated in 1945 at 18.
Paternal grandfather born 1914 and lived in Salineville, OH. My dad and aunts don't have any useful information. Assume he graduated in 1932.
Paternal grandmother born 1916 and lived in New Philadelphia City, OH. Again, my dad and aunts don't have any information. Assume she graduated in 1934.
​
Here's a photo of my maternal grandmother that I already found.
https://imgur.com/8yYfh4a

Hiya! So firstly thank you so much for checking out my post! I do appreciate it quite heavily! And secondly if anything at all in my same post interests you, feel free to send me a message! Given I try and answer to as many people as plausible!
I suppose there’s no better place to start than the beginning however, so let’s go back to the title. I am looking for something genuinely long term! Be it a relationship, or just a friendship! I have no issue with either or truthfully as both are completely accepted happily!
A little about myself as well too! I am of course a transgender woman! I have been out for five or so years, and I sadly have yet to start any form of Hormone Therapy, but I am hoping to one day do so! I am 22 years of age, and I currently only have a high school diploma as i’d say I’m not quite a bit too overwhelmed by how expensive college is both mentally and physically to even give it a shot! I am 5’11 in height! And give or take 190 pounds! I can also send a picture on request too! Sfw of course 💖
I suppose that’s enough about me though! I guess it’s rather time to plausibly talk about you. I don’t have nearly any requirements in what I find in a person, but truly there is some things that turn me away from one. I am heavily not into people whom put little effort into a relationship/friendship, given I like to put my all in - what I mean by this specifically is more so on the bias of only reliably sending one line per message! As I get it when you sometimes can’t think of what to say! But I guess it just shows little interest in me when it’s constantly done like that, ya know?
Other than that! That’s the only thing I really have as a requirement! On the realm of more random things I couldn’t fit in a paragraph of their own, I thought I’d go ahead and try and put them here. I am heavily into the game Final Fantasy 14 Online! Being it’s basically one of my biggest hyper-fixation, so if that’s a mutual game that’s pretty much a perfect match already! And I also really enjoy going on jogs! It’s far from a requirement for this to be a mutual as it can be physically straining 💖
Woo! We got to the final paragraph, so let’s not waste time. If you’re still with me, and still want to shoot me a message, preferably add the word penguin to show you read all of it! And if you’re still anxious to know what to say to me, don’t be afraid as I have a few little prompts made! Be it - What’s your age? What’s your name? Where do you live? Do you have stuffed animals? Do you have any pets? If so what kind! I hope to hear from some of you! 💖