Moet and chandon champagne near me

SHORT INTRO My daughter may be autistic. We were actually supposed to have the testing today, but unfortunately there was an emergency and had to reschedule for a month from now. I have anxiety that is extremely severe, and I want to best support my child in the meantime, and I feel like I am not doing so. I have been doing a lot of research. Unfortunately, the vast majority of groups and information sources I have come across have been... kind of gross, to be honest with you. Thus this post. I would like to get some advice from people who actually are autistic instead of from a bunch of self-martyring mothers/ organizations that read as ableist (to me anyways.)
 
LONGER INTRO I apologize in advance for my extreme verbosity. I always feel like if I'm not incredibly clear and extremely specific then people will misinterpret what I am saying, and this causes my anxiety to skyrocket. I don't feel like throwing up because of stress tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Anyways, there is a possibility that my daughter is autistic. She has previously been diagnosed with dmdd, adhd, anxiety, depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. There is a STRONG family history of autism, depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia. I myself deal with adhd, anxiety, and depression. My daughter currently has a psychiatric care team and takes medications to help her get through the day to day.
 
Recently, my daughter was hospitalized for suicidal and homicidal ideation. The team at the Children's Hospital psychiatric ward told me that based upon their observations they felt that she may be autistic, and referred me for testing. Now, I had suspected she might be autistic when she was a baby/toddler. However, my concerns were brushed off and I was told that she was likely just a difficult baby, and that I was a paranoid first time parent. As she got older life became more and more difficult for her. She had delayed verbal development, had to be potty trained multiple times, struggles with social interaction, and in general has a difficult time dealing with what Society expects of us. I also am read as "odd," for the record, and when she was diagnosed with adhd, and two of the same mental illnesses that I struggle with, I figured that the people who had dismissed me were probably right, and that we had found the answer.
 
When she was seven she had a meltdown that was so severe that it required hospitalization. It was at that time that she was diagnosed with dmdd and ADHD. Diagnoses of anxiety and depression happened within the next year. Her struggles are considered "severe." She is now 12. She began having hallucinations last year. (I am aware that hallucinations are not something that is a diagnostic criteria for autism. I'm simply including it for informational purposes/accuracy/completeness.) I also know that no one here can possibly diagnose my child, and that is not what I am looking for today. We have testing in a month. I will know for sure then.
 
THINGS WE HAVE BEEN DOING TO HELP HER GET THROUGH HER DAY: We have always used stim/fidget tools, weighted blankets, noise canceling headphones, etc. I use these things to help me out when I am overstimulated/needing stimulation, and my daughter uses them as well. She had a 504 plan in school, but during covid requested that I homeschool her instead because the inconsistently applied rules and the will we/won't we thing with going back to school was very much stressing her out. I have homeschooled her since that time, and we have a plan to reintroduce her to in-person school for this next year. From what I've seen, we should be able to port over her 504 plan, or get an IEP in place considering the severity of her struggles.
 
She goes to therapy every week. We go to family therapy. I try to make sure that our home is quiet, peaceful, and non-stimulating. I even changed out our light bulbs so that it wasn't as bright in the house. She's insisted on picking out her own clothes since she was capable of dragging herself to the dresser, and I 100% believe that the person wearing the clothes is the person who should be making that decision. I cut the tags out, and make sure that any stray strings or threads or whatever are removed before they can become an annoyance. I only cook food that she likes, and include her in the process if she is interested. Fortunately she doesn't seem to have a lot of struggles surrounding food, so that is pretty easy. We all try to be respectful of each other's energy levels, and make sure to communicate when any of us are nearing overwhelm.
We use gentle parenting techniques, and make sure that she has a say in every activity. And that doesn't mean that we let a 12-year-old run our lives, but it does mean that we want to make sure that everyone in our family has input, a voice, and a choice. I firmly believe that children need to be treated with respect, and that their input is important, and their autonomy as people needs to be honored. I also firmly believe that children frequently behave like tiny drunk people, and require guidance. We just try to make sure that our guidance is gentle, respectful, and effective.
 
STRUGGLES: She has a hair trigger temper and disassociates almost immediately when she becomes frustrated. Frequently, even innocuous seeming requests or comments (EX: "have you had any water today?" "Sure, we can do your laundry. Can you bring the clothes down, please?" "Ok, lets go to bed. Please brush your teeth.") result in meltdowns that can last hours, result in a destroyed home/broken items, or injury. She hits herself and smashes her head into things whenever she is upset with herself, and this kid DOES NOT HOLD BACK. She cracked one of her front teeth this way, which was super fun and not expensive at all..../s
She struggles to make friends. She doesn't like the children in our neighborhood, she doesn't like the children in the homeschooling groups we have found, and the only kids that she ever seems to get along with are other mentally ill children. Unfortunately, she typically only meets them in therapy or inpatient settings, and the kids are prevented from exchanging any kind of information. So, they're more like single serving friends. She has one friend that she's pretty close to, but this girl moved about 200 miles away recently. So, she's kind of alone. This is one reason why I want her to go back to a more standard school setting. (We are considering a school that is for neurodiverse kids.) I feel privileged that we have been able to homeschool her, and it makes me smile to know that she wanted me to do this for her, but I really want her to be with other kids. She needs friends, and the kids that are available to her aren't cutting it.
All she wants to so is build things in Minecraft. Now, I get it. I love video games. We have a lot of games in this house. I do mean a lot. But, she doesn't ever want to play anything except for minecraft, and she doesn't want to play it in any way other than building all sorts of redstone contraptions in a super-flat world entirely in creative. I don't know if this counts as a special interest, or if I need to encourage her to do other things. She enjoys other things (art, anime, Victorian fashion, learning about amphibians, learning about Mexico, learning about Mexican amphibians....) but her desire to build things in Minecraft overwhelms pretty much everything else.
Sometimes she doesn't even communicate to me in real sentences, she will just reference a Minecraft meme she sent to me one time last year and expect me to understand that she means she wants waffles for dinner or something.😆 I think it's kind of charming, but I wonder if I'm doing her a disservice by not "encouraging" other activities/interests more heavily.
 
Honestly, I don't know a whole lot about autism or if any of these things sound familiar to any of you. I do know that multiple medical professionals suspect that she is autistic, and has gone undiagnosed because of her mental illness and her adhd. At this point, we have decided to try and use techniques to diffuse meltdowns, help redirect her, and to better support her that have been shown to be effective when helping people with autism. Unfortunately, a lot of the literature that I've come across seems to have the goal of changing the autistic person and forcing them to conform to societal norms, which is NOT our goal. And, at this point, I'm not even sure what behaviors I should be targeting with these techniques. Because, after all, if she is autistic, she is also mentally ill. She has comorbid conditions. I'm just not sure what to do, and I want to support her. I don't want to change her. She's a really cool kid, and she struggles with so many different things - I just want to help. I also know that I need help helping her. Unfortunately, I don't know what kind of help I need, or what I should even be asking for!
I feel like trying to untangle her mental illness from her ADHD from potential autism is a near impossible task. I don't know how to help her, and honestly, many of the professionals we work with haven't come across a child with her particular set of diagnoses before. Apparently, the hallucinations bit really complicates things. We're just kind of throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks.
 
CONCLUSION: Anyway, if you made it through all of that, thank you. I know that my thought process can be a little disjointed, and I tried to make this as clear as possible. Basically, I'm looking for any suggestions that any people who are here, who are autistic themselves, can provide me. If any of this sounds familiar to you, or if you recognize any of these things in yourself, please let me know. What websites can you recommend that will help teach me more about how to help my child? Are there any eminent voices in the community who can help me understand her better? What/who should I avoid? Do any of you have experience attending a school for neurodiverse people when you were younger? Is there anyone here who is autistic and also mentally ill? Anyone with a dual diagnosis of adhd/autism? Is there anything I'm doing wrong? What can I change to be better?
 
I appreciate anyone who has given their time and energy to read this, and I would be especially grateful if you could help me help my beautiful girl. Thank you.

Howdy there! I’m Ivan, a queer 18 year old artist/roleplayer!! Recently I’ve been feeling super inspired to write with my ocs, it’s been a big minute since I’ve had a good roleplay going. 18+ tho, no minors. ❗️
I only roleplay with original characters, I’ve never really been into canon roleplays heh.
All of the ocs I use for roleplaying atm are male and apart of the lgbtqia community! Me being queer I typically do non straight rps, gotta love fruity characters!! All of my ocs have drawn faceclaims that I created for em that I can send over >:]
Please keep this in mind if you’re interested in roleplaying with me, I have a lot, and I mean a lot, of experience writing. I’ve been writing since I was young, I would say I’m a literate to novella roleplayer. Though ngl I tend to get inspired really easily and tend up typing a lot- I’ve always been super passionate about my ocs heheh. So please give me effort back, be similar in literacy. Also! I’m usually down to make new characters by scratch, that’s always fun!
Like I mentioned I'm pretty passionate about my ocs, I tend to ramble and gush about em a lot. I'm a talkative fella, that's for sure! Over the years and different experiences I've had rping with other people, I've noticed that nearly 100% of the time it's a lot easier for me to enjoy and have fun roleplaying when my partners are cool with ooc chatting!!
I enjoy a lot of different genres/plots, I'm fairly open but I do adore fantasy, supernatural, romance, angst, sci-fi, and occasionally slice of life. Tbh, just my preference but I really like adding romance into the roleplay in some shape or form!! With that said, I don't mean that it's gonna be the entire plot pffft. I love slowburn, I hate rushing things bc it usually ends up getting boring quicker :<
Anyways! My timezone is CST, and I don't have a lot going on at the moment so my replies should be fairly frequent depending. So, don't be shy to send me a message! I'm pretty laid back and friendly heh. ♡

Howdy there! I’m Ivan, a queer 18 year old artist/roleplayer!! Recently I’ve been feeling super inspired to write with my ocs, it’s been a big minute since I’ve had a good roleplay going. 18+ tho, no minors. ❗️
I only roleplay with original characters, I’ve never really been into canon roleplays heh.
All of the ocs I use for roleplaying atm are male and apart of the lgbtqia community! Me being queer I typically do non straight rps, gotta love fruity characters!! All of my ocs have drawn faceclaims that I created for em that I can send over >:]
Please keep this in mind if you’re interested in roleplaying with me, I have a lot, and I mean a lot, of experience writing. I’ve been writing since I was young, I would say I’m a literate to novella roleplayer. Though ngl I tend to get inspired really easily and tend up typing a lot- I’ve always been super passionate about my ocs heheh. So please give me effort back, be similar in literacy. Also! I’m usually down to make new characters by scratch, that’s always fun!
Like I mentioned I'm pretty passionate about my ocs, I tend to ramble and gush about em a lot. I'm a talkative fella, that's for sure! Over the years and different experiences I've had rping with other people, I've noticed that nearly 100% of the time it's a lot easier for me to enjoy and have fun roleplaying when my partners are cool with ooc chatting!!
I enjoy a lot of different genres/plots, I'm fairly open but I do adore fantasy, supernatural, romance, angst, sci-fi, and occasionally slice of life. Tbh, just my preference but I really like adding romance into the roleplay in some shape or form!! With that said, I don't mean that it's gonna be the entire plot pffft. I love slowburn, I hate rushing things bc it usually ends up getting boring quicker :<
Also! Something I'm gonna clarify just so ya know, my characters are typically switches. Not necessarily (you know what) but in general. We won't work if your characters are overly dominant or submissive, no thanks homie.
Anyways! My timezone is CST, and I don't have a lot going on at the moment so my replies should be fairly frequent depending. So, don't be shy to send me a message! I'm pretty laid back and friendly heh. ♡

Recently a very close family member of mine nearly died because of a severe cardiac arrest. The primary cause of the arrest was an artery block due to nicotine in the heart. This was a wake up call for him and me. I always thought I would quit when my work was not as intense as it is now. But this made me realise that everything can just end in a matter of minutes and then there will be nothing left, just pieces of your memory among your loved ones. I cannot have that. I am not going to destroy myself voluntarily. After all, I am yet to see the strength and beauty of my body and it would be a shame to die without seeing it. I am now fully committed to quitting and motivated to help others quit. It's been 9 days since I smoked, although using nicotine gums to help me through withdrawals. I will try to help others in my surroundings to quit as well. Godspeed to all of you who have made the decision to never smoke again. Will be there to support as well. Cheers.

At its current form its an I had this live game playing as Elyrion against Aquarion with the largest map on drylands. Bad mistake. I spent 8-9 hours irl on that game trying to break a massive eastern front style bloodbath deadlock. I've had a really good economy producing 200++ stars (they're half of that from what I see in the replays). Yet it is simply impossible to made any penetrations.
I resort to spamming knights, with every turn I manage to capture most of their first line of defense city, and even some of their second. Only for their tridention to wiped out all my progress in the next turn with me being being unable to do much about their tridention. Thanks to some mistake they made, I managed to take probably 2 or three city. Thats it.
Obviously I needed mobile firepower to broke the deadlock, but the dragon is my only viable option (archer simply pack too little punch, move to little making them hard to mass from my rear cities and vulnerable during staging to enemy's knights, and was pretty much a one shot weapon in a mongol horse archer environment) but due to the nature of their massed horse archer deploying them to the frontlines means certain death in the next turn. I can't use the dragons to really hurt these concentration of horse archers in the rear either since it requires staging them near the front which = certain death.
It is really annoying that I've done my logistics very right (200++ stars vs 100+ stars), play a faction whose super unit is supposed to be uber thanks to the evolution, yet they can't even compete with non supers in their best form. After 4-5 hours of playing out this reenacment of the rzhev meat grinder (or a certain currently ongoing battle) I simply gave up. Wasting 8 hours irl for less than 20 elo points is retarded in hindsight. Though I salute the other player for their similar stubornness.

During the last visit to Hell's Kitchen, when JC had just broken out of the MIB's surround on the 'ton, there was a street-walking whore named Sally taking cover near the subway entrance. The following is taken from the DX script:
CONVERSATION: SALLY
SALLY
They tryna kill you or something?
You better get out of here!
Run!
After that she went into a loop.
Run!
Run!
Run!
Together with her neon-orange skirt, the glow of the street lamp, the descending steps, and the threat of the agency after you, the scene gave me the strongest feeling of dystopic cyberpunk ever.
Anyone else got a moment in DX where an npc felt bigger than their role? Was there something easily missable that gave a poignant feeling? No drunken Russians please.

As I stood there, the cold seeped through my jeans and jacket, sending a bone shattering chill through my body,
I heard the approaching footsteps.
I froze before I came to my senses and ran.
I stumbled and stumbled, unable to see the tree roots and low branches.
Finally after what felt like hours, I couldn't continue on.
I was cold, and my limbs were going numb due to the December winter.
I fell to the ground, too tired to push away the stick poking at my ribs.
I closed my eyes, letting sleep take me.
I faintly heard a twig snap near my head then everything went black.
10 Years Later...
August 25, 2014
I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock.
My eyes snapped open and I instantly shut it off knowing he had a hangover and the noise would only infuriate him.
I sat up in my pull out couch bed and stretched my sore muscles.
The first day of Senior year at Middleton High.
I couldn't wait! No sarcasm there.
I headed into the bathroom, taking a quick shower and brushing my teeth.

I am am a 34m. I have Been with my wife 26f for 4 years now. She is going through a hard time doing her second part time masters and full time job. I always supported her in her life goals. When she said she wanted to change careers and get her second master I said yes I will be there for you.
We are 1 year into her master's and I have noticed her time with me to be intimate has reached a 0. She relates to me maybe 30 minutes a day and will just be on her phone in the same room. Doesn't talk or ask me about my day or hug kiss and say hi. Then will run off to her office in our house and do what ever she wants when I see her next is when she is already unconscious.
So I asked her if we can work on rekindling our romance and intimacy a bit more, when are you available for us to do something nice and try to rekindle our connection. She said idk Saturday which was a week away.
I waited patiently until that day and it didn't happen. I kept waiting for her to relate to me. But never did. Tuesday came and I went to express how important this is to me and if she can find some time tonight or when we can really spend some time together.
She started saying I need you to respect my boundaries. I said what are those ? She said that you need to leave me alone until I am ready. I asked but I always leave you alone and you never do come spend time with me. She says well you still need to respect my boundaries first.
I expressed that this is rough and hard on me because I feel alone. She then grabbed a knife and said I need control I need my boundaries respected. If you can't do this I will do suicide to get this. Will you be ok knowing that you killed me.
I said no I am not ok with this. I then walked away and left her alone. Later on I asked if I can just chill in the room and she said yes and put the knife away. I tried to talk to her about her work and stuff she is interested in since she is doing compsci masters and I also am in the network architecture side of that field plus 3 years of comsci work too so I understand everything she is studying.
10 minutes later she got the knife and said if you don't leave I will kill my self I left. Next day she goes on campus. I let her be alone the whole day no messages except for responding to any questions she sent me.
Then when she gets home I say hi speak to her a bit. Hug her and then let her go upstairs alone. She then texted me while I was downstairs saying that my behavior yesterday caused her to nearly take her life and is making this house not a safe place. She said I need to respect her boundaries.
I said I haven't been with you all day and I am trying to respect your boundaries I don't know why you keep going to this dark place in portraying me as this person. I then went upstairs and got myself prepared to go to bed because it was bedtime and laid in bed and just asked her how her day was. She then said it was fine but you need to learn how to respect my boundaries.
Then she called the police saying that she doesn't feel safe at home. The police came and the ENT came. I stayed on the couch calm and let them deal with the situation because I didn't want her to her herself. She went to the hospital and I stayed home alone.
Is this what boundaries are supposed to be in a relationship? Where one person can set a boundary that allows them to be alone all the time and have no respect or relate to their significant other ever?

My friend says I must have pissed off a witch.
2021 Dec - partner rushed to er, waits 5 hours in crippling pain, vomiting. Finally get her back. CT finds a 17mm kidney stone in her ureter. She's rushed into surgery to get a Stent put in. Her kidney is the size of a grapefruit, so they tell her they can't remove it right away. So she waits two weeks, blinding pain, they refuse to give her any pain medication. They schedule her for a followup to see the doctor two weeks later. At that appointment they say no pain meds and three more weeks before they can get her in. She basically screams at them until they get her in the following week.
Feb 2 - partner gets cut off while driving thru an icy patch, loses control, slams into highway divider, totals her car completely. 25lb bag of grout hits her in the back of the head, hard. She refuses the hospital, but starts losing consciousness when she gets home. Can't recall that weekend at all.
Feb 14 - partner stuffers a serious of grandmal seizures at work. Barely manges to call me from her car and tell me somethings wrong, then says she can't move and she's scared. I call her boss, they find her unconscious in the front seat and call an ambulance. Silence for two hours. I'm freaking the fuck out. Finally a nurse answers her phone and tells me where she is. I grab an Uber and rush down. Apparently the ambulance idiots missed the fact that she had a head injury and they tell me they think she overdosed. I explain the wreck. Situation changes completely. She's unconscious for several hours, they confirm the seizures, she's sent home.
April - smashes her hand trying to get a tire off a rim. Shockingly doesn't break anything, but to this day can barely use it (musician/mechanic)
May - company I've been with for a while loses contract. New company... Is... Just... Well, wait for it.
June - depression finally becomes intolerable for me. Attempt IOP. Does not help. Get signed up for ketamine therapy.
August - finally catch covid. Sick as death for two weeks but no pto because of new company. Partner catches covid from me, then gets pneumonia. She leaves her job.
September - attempt nerve block to solve increasing endo pain to avoid another surgery. Wake up next morning in the worst pain I've ever been in, can't twist and lower back is insanely painful. Try to call doctor. Dismissed as a pulled muscle and unrelated to block. Jump to Sunday, my leg is now blue and I can't move it. Rush to er. Have blood clot from belly to knee. Put in icu immediately. Have abcess near my spine from the block. Super rare complication. Hospitalized for 6 days. Pulled off birth control, put on orilissa for endo.
Oct-Nov Iv antibiotics, tons of appointments, shots in the belly twice a day.
Partner has nervous breakdown and stops working. Goes to stay with family for two weeks.
Dec - Stent put in. Endo growing quickly, end up having a suuuuuuper heavy bleed (on blood thinners and anti platelets). New employer replaces a senior developer with a guy who can't send an email. They start accusing me of being the problem. Sigh.
Jan 2023 - this will be our year, right? Healing from the clot, ketamine worked, feeling stable. Partner still highly depressed and anxious but I think I can handle it. Work starts getting worse. More seniors leave, more unqualified staff replace them.
Feb - harassment becoming intolerable from a client. Now doing the work of 4 people while training 1.was hoping to get a good hire. Manager again hires most unqualified staff. I find out they're paying him my salary. Tell my boss that's not okay. She shuts down the conversation. Now doing job of 4 people and training 2 while being harassed daily by client.
Then I start bleeding again. This time so heavy I get anemic and pass out and throw up from pain. Dr finally approves me for hysto. Get hysto on 23rd. They find my spleen is scarred completely to surrounding tissue and tear it on accident trying to remove adhesions. End up in hospital longer than expected.
Get home. Unexpected nervous breakdown when seeing my employer claims to pay people with my job 70k more than I make. Lost my shit and wrote anonymous review about shitty working conditions and hiring. Later remove. Boss already saw it. Still off next day, call from coworker on behalf of harasser asking me to do something for them. Quickly remove myself from call. Proceed to mental crisis.
Next day go in, immediately call both managers and request std because something isn't right. Tell them about harassment and workload. Supervisor from new company schedules disciplinary meeting next day with coo and makes me continue to work. While I am in crisis. Says just turn on do not disturb.
They remove me from my team and my title, put me on another team as a subordinate or tell me I can quit. Give me a weekend to think about it. I see surgeon and psych first. Both confirm surgical menopause caused nervous breakdown and I have acute stress disorder. Reluctantly agree to be moved to different team. THEN I'm allowed to go on disability leave.
HR fucks up my next check and doesn't do the paperwork to keep my fsa open. Spend all month trying to fix the shit.
I'm out of my fucking mind most of the month so I post shit that makes me sound like a raving lunatic. Somewhat stabilizing now with pristiq and Ativan. Can't take hrt because clot. Scheduled to see specialist at the end of the month.
Catch pneumonia. Pneumonia and panic attacks make a person very miserable...
Partner and old friend get into huge fight. Partner struggling heavily. Unable to help because I'm unstable and sounds crazy.
I go back to work Monday. I don't want to fucking be there.
I swear to god when will it end. I wish this was some kind of joke.
/vent

The nobleman - the UnMage? - took the stairs, two, three at a time, his slender fingers gripping Matthias' wrist with unnatural strength. As he trailed along, more a satchel of man-leather than a youngling, he noted the intricate braiding in his ... captor's.... hair, and the silvery trinkets woven between each lock. He wondered why even now he could not hear them jingle with every frenetic step, and where on earth in that cloak was there a poche big enough for such a large roll of parchment as he'd seen only moments before.
As the UnMage alighted upon the tavern floor, his steps were no less silent than the padding of a sly caterwaal as it darted from shadow to shadow. Nevertheless, an audible silence fell upon the patrons, the clatter of cutlery, the murmur of voices and carousing drunkards falling away like so many trees under seige from a tornado. All eyes turned towards the strange man - not to meet his eyes, of course, most of the people in the village had had quite enough of that - but to his now naked head, crowned with a hillock of white hair, surmounted by glowing circlet. If the UnMage noticed, he gave none in return; He paused for a moment as if to ground himself, then spun on his heel to stalk over to the bar, where Matthias' father - and cousin, apparently freed from the scullery for the time being - watched warily and goggle-eyed respectively.
"I have need of the boy. I will take him with me." It was not a question.
Matthias noted the working of his father's jaw, the subtle swallowing that belied the difficulty of resisting the UnMage's... authority? Charisma? It mattered not. To his credit, the tavern-keeper crossed his burly arms across his alegut , trapping the furthest strands of his beard underneath his forearms. His face, normally an unctuous mask of hospitality, morphed steadily and rapidly into the rictus of disapproving anger that Matthias recognised much more readily.
"And what will you do widdim?" he demanded, still managing to maintain a facade of professionalism. Matthias did not admire his father much, but even he would have to admit this was impressive tonguing for a lowborn man.
"That is not your concern, villein. Name your price."
The ruddy-faced man carved his frown deeper as he replied slowly, "Sera, what do you want wi' my boy?" He began to uncross his arms, revealing a stout cosh he had clearly palmed before. The silence of the tavern floor was broken by the muffled scraping of chairs as patrons began to distance themselves. "I'll warn you, we don't tolerate gwor-"
His eyes widened as the UnMage spoke, a faint whisper emanating from his lips and manifesting as a subtle but definite tremor in the gorund below. It probably also had something to do with the feeling of the unevenly sanded, warm wood of the cosh in his hand turning cold and smooth as veins of wood fibre gave way to pure, solid gold. It was spellery of an ilk few had seen before, and a few strangled cries, or yelps, did ring out from the hushed crowd. But none advanced in defense of their tavern-keeper, for while the strange mage with the Lotus brooch had not menaced anyone, his frightening prowess was apparent, and terrifying.
Matthias' father breathed hard, nostrils flared, mouth pressed so tight as to disappear into a thin scar across his face. His grip on the solid gold cosh was tight, but whether for its weight or for his panic, none could surely say. Matthias saw the defiance cower and flee from his father's eyes, and while he was not stupid enough to be surprised, he was still soft enough to be sad.
Perhaps because he sensed this, or because he thought he had won, the UnMage loosened his grip on Matthias' wrist. He pre-empted the boy's wavering words with a simple finger upon his lips. "Time is of the essence," he intoned, words slipping like honey from around his fingers, thick, cloying, too-sweet, as he continued: "And what you may leave behind I can furnish tenfold."
Matthias nodded numbly. His fingers fumbled with his kamarband as he extricated the knife within, years of beatings reminding him to keep things where they were supposed to go in the bar. The UnMage noticed, snorted, rolled his eyes and his fingers at the same time, and another stack of harts materialised in his palm, which he set down with a satisfying clack on the countertop. Each coin was followed by at least a dozen pair of eyes.
"Keep the knife," he advised the boy. "You might need to stab me in the soft bits."
Matthias met his cold, fulgurant gaze for a single second, then slowly bowed his head.
The UnMage acknowledged nothing and no one else, save to pour a mess of harts and hinds into the half-open tunic of a travelling merchant near the door. "Your wares and horses," he said, his words receding with him as he stepped through into the chill evening breeze, Matthias shivering at his waist. The merchant started upward drunkenly - the coins in his tunic clinking, even as his bodyguards gawked - a bleary look in his eyes that betrayed no cognition; Whatever little he thought to say, he thought better of, and returned to his stupor. The gentle thump of his turban coming to rest on the table was drowned out by the slam of the door, and so while it was Matthias' last sight of hme, it was not the last thing he heard.
"Why do you need me, Sera?" asked Matthias. The stranger gave no answer, no acknowledgement, striding energetically towards the stables instead. As he neared the gate, the door to the tavern opened once more, and the stablehand - by force of habit - stepped out to yell, saw the UnMage's silhouette, and promptly withdrew. The gate opened noiselessly, without the UnMage laying even a finger upon it, clearly by spellery. Matthias wondered why his captor had forgone the use of magic until then - surely they were far enough from the Cathedral that even the swiftest deer would have taken a fortnight to deliver a message, to say nothing of the month it would take for magehunters to descend upon the countryside.
Inspiration bloomed, and he asked again. "Why do you need me." A statement, not a question. There was a pause, and he hastily added "Sera."
The UnMage had by then located the horses and their tack, and was engaged with the hitchknot on their lead - bizarrely - with his fingers. Matthias watched him struggle as he answered the boy's question.
"You know what a mage is - One who practices spellery, without invoking the divine as the focus of that spellery. You know what a cleric is - a member of any chapter, order, or chantry of the Black Cathedral, who enforce the -" he spat out the next word "- inherent divinity of magic by way of orthodoxy, and of course their pet magehunters. What you don't know is what an UnMage is - one who is attuned to the reality of the world in a way that other mages are not, and can thus perform spellery freely, requiring neither complex and -" another gob of sputum "- heretical formularies, nor faith and dogma." He sighed, as if stymied by the knots, and clicked his fingers - and the leads disintegrated into leathery dust, while the horses nickered slightly due probably tot he unnatural wind. He opened the gate, the tack floating from the wall of the stall and onto the horses, who for their part tolerated the unseen hands saddling and bridling them rather well. The UnMage motioned to Matthias, and as the boy approached he grasped him firmly - but not roughly - by the waist, raising him onto the saddle with alacrity that was at odds with his slender frame.
As Matthias stared down, at the UnMage fiddling with the stirrups, the man continued: "If the mage follows the law of the mind, the cleric follows the law of the soul. The essence of unmagic - the Kwid - is to follow both, and yet neither, all at the same time. It is to embrace magic as the unreal in reality, the impossible in all possibility. So while we can do or make anything other spellweavers can -" he looked up, teeth bared in another smile "- so too can we unmake."
Matthias met his gaze, unevenly, but without fear. "Are there more UnMages?"
The corners of the man's eyes twitched, as if offended, but whatever had irked him he did not reveal. Instead, he exhaled slightly, and began to answer. "There are many, many UnMages," he said listlessly, "but most, if not all, are singularly useless. UnMages cannot be made, frustratingly enough , so they are born - but they cannot be told they are UnMages, so they must know. It used to be that you'd hear about UnMages in some way, shape, or form - stories from a grandparent, books and manuscripts, stories carved into mountainsides - but the Black Cathedral has spent the better part of a thousand years stamping out every source of knowledge on UnMages -"
"Why couldn't you have just told me." Matthias remembered the custom.
"Pay attention, boy, I'm an UnMage like you. If I told you a story, say, even in passing, it would be telling - because the moment I look in your eyes I know what you are! How would you gain knowledge from ignorance then? How would you awaken to your abilities?" He grabbed Matthias' feet and slipped them into the shortened stirrups. "The paradox is the point!"
Matthias had no idea what that meant, but he liked the way it sounded.
The UnMage jumped onto his horse with a standing leap, settling perfectly - uncannily - into the saddle, both feet in the stirrups even as his cloak flared to cover the top of his mount's rump. He clicked his fingers and his heels at the same time, and a pair of silver reins snaked their way from his fingertips to the bridle as his horse broke into a lazy walk.
Matthias started, and then began: "How am I supposed to -"
"Make a pair of reins, boy!" called the UnMage over his shoulder. "Your first lesson! And if it seems impossible, remember -"
"The paradox is the point." grumbled Matthias.
The night was broken by the first laugh the boy had heard the silver-haired stranger with the Lotus brooch utter.

I'm 24F. My birthday was at the beginning of March and I got alcohol poisoning from binge drinking vodka that night. I have barely touched alcohol minus a few sips of my roommate's beer since then. The only things I EVER drink are water, one cup of black coffee in the morning, and green tea. However, ever since that day I have had kidney pain on and off. I went to the hospital a few days after my birthday because I began to have blood in my urine and they ran tests and diagnosed me with a UTI but mentioned that they saw a "spot" near my kidney but said they didn't know what it was and maybe it was an ovarian cyst or something. They gave me antibiotics, I took them for a week, and things seemed to be better. Then I began having daily kidney pain no matter what I drink. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. Yesterday it was so bad that it was hard to walk in the morning. I have none of the classic UTI symptoms like that awful burning feeling, frequent urge to urinate, etc. My urine is also pretty clear for the most part. My kidneys just hurt, especially my right one. I took some anti-inflammatory stuff yesterday and it didn't help, but AZO did.
All of that being said, does anyone have any idea what's going on?

Now I would like to think I’m a brave person, I have faced a lot of my fears through out my life and think I’ve done well, but with how far backward we are traveling in time in the world is legitimately scaring me. I am a more androgynous leaning person, I paint my nails, I wear chokers and other stereotypically “feminine clothing” but I am also 6’2 have a deep voice and identify as boy (and yes I am a minor). And I am afraid that with how far the world has regressed I feel like in the near future I could be killed just for painting my nails

I never really had female friends growing up, was in a relationship ages ago.
Cut to now, since last year I was able to make friends fast and even got in touch with couple of crushes. But the issue is even I have become close or a good friend they don't see me as romantic interest.
One of my crush said, back then she was interested in me but decided to distance herself since "I was too serious". One girl I met on a dating app, became close friends with me and stated she never saw me as something more than friend. One close friend that I recently developed crush and told about it too wants to avoid any complications in the good friendship we have. (It is actually precious.) Any other long term friends whom I haven't even approached make point of somehow reminding me that I am just a friend.
With many of the friends, I understand their struggle to not finding good platonic male friendships and don't want to ruin that as well.
The issue is- I am demisexual, I never like person just because of their hot pictures or one the first meetings. Also, my mind refuses to see anyone random sexually. So, the people I am interested in I friends with. If I try the approach of asking people outright they want to get to know me better first. Also, I am not going to be able to hookup with anyone on first meet because it's not enjoyable for me.
TLDR- Can't date anyone immediately, so end up being friendzoned. The approach of hookup first won't work.
Also, socializing wise I am trying my best to meet people through hobbies and quota is already nearly full. I don't drink or do pubs/bars.

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know if I am suicidal or not. I’m alive, doing things I suppose. I live a great life, surrounded by great people nearly always, but yet I still want to die, or be whisked away into something else. I keep a gun on my bed, a 1911, my first handgun. I keep it ready with a round in the chamber and hammer down.
It’s not for self-defense, the odds of someone robbing this house is pretty low, and I’m gone a lot anyways. Sometimes I just put it in my mouth, put a finger between the hammer and striker and just squeeze the trigger, feel the hammer drop and then get stopped. I think of how easy it is to move my finger out of the way and just let it go.
I don’t want to be here, I don’t deserve to be here on this Earth, yet it’d be so much of a hassle for everyone else if I were to follow through and quite a few people would be devastated. Not to mention I don’t know if I truly want to die myself, just fix the part of me that’s so unrelentingly disappointing. Now the normal thing a person ought to do is go out of their way to fix it, to apply themselves and become better, a rather simple solution, something that most people understand. But I don’t get why I don’t. Why I’m so damn lazy to the point I just don’t want to change yet desperately wanting to. I went through the second hardest boot camp in the fucking 4 branches because I wanted to become better, to be something, yet I’ve fallen into the same fucking habits, the same laziness, the same shit. It ain’t nobody’s damn fault but mine, there ain’t nobody to blame but myself. Despite all this great shit that’s been given to me on a silver platter I have fucked it ALL up and seemed to not have learnt my lesson. I could be better, I SHOULD be better, yet I ain’t.
“But you can change! Do , , and !” Yea! That is great, solid, advice, and when I was able to force myself to utilize it for a little bit it fucking worked! But I won’t stick to it, because I must be chronically fucking lazy or some shit.
I don’t want to fucking die yet, I want to to fucking die heroically. Save someone in exchange for my life, be a sacrifice for something greater, or I dunno die in honorable combat in the wilderness. Something that shows I did something, that I fucking put my all into it and can finally rest, no damn excuses. I joined this service to do good yet I’m still cowardly and fearful when I think about the prospect. I’m so tired of living like this, with an idealized version of what I want to be yet not willing to take any of the steps to achieve it. I want to rest, to disappear and just not have concerns.
This was a rant that kinda went all over the place, apologies for the confusing and outright contradictory nature of some aspects. If you’re still reading this, thank you for that. This was more meant to be just tossed in the void really.

I never really had female friends growing up, was in a relationship ages ago.
Cut to now, since last year I was able to make friends fast and even got in touch with couple of crushes. But the issue is even I have become close or a good friend they don't see me as romantic interest.
One of my crush said, back then she was interested in me but decided to distance herself since "I was too serious". One girl I met on a dating app, became close friends with me and stated she never saw me as something more than friend. One close friend that I recently developed crush and told about it too wants to avoid any complications in the good friendship we have. (It is actually precious.) Any other long term friends whom I haven't even approached make point of somehow reminding me that I am just a friend.
With many of the friends, I understand their struggle to not finding good platonic male friendships and don't want to ruin that as well.
The issue is- I am demisexual, I never like person just because of their hot pictures or one the first meetings. Also, my mind refuses to see anyone random sexually. So, the people I am interested in I friends with. If I try the approach of asking people outright they want to get to know me better first. Also, I am not going to be able to hookup with anyone on first meet because it's not enjoyable for me.
TLDR- Can't date anyone immediately, so end up being friendzoned. The approach of hookup first won't work.
Also, socializing wise I am trying my best to meet people through hobbies and quota is already nearly full. I don't drink or do pubs/bars.

BACKGROUND: I (30F) have a close friend (26F) who I have lived with for nearly a year now. We met at a past workplace, became very close and have been friends since 2017. She took me in when I was struggling to find a place due to the rental market, confidence, time constraints (needed to escape my past housemates) and due to it suiting her lifestyle.
She did me a favour by allowing me to move in, but I provide amazig vibes, company and pay my way completely. She has always treated me with the knowledge it is HER house and I am easy going so was unbothered as she does own the place. She is a neat freak but I abide by her rules - none of my belongings apart from groceries live out of my room/designated bathroom/toilet.
I have my own flaws - I know it! I know I can be a bit annoying, messy, adhd, sassy and high energy sometimes. Her boyfriend basically moved in when they started dating, he stayed for 5 months. I tried to explain he made me uncomfortable as he (40M) is a bit weird with boundaries and creepy. She completely took his side and make it exceptionally clear It was HER house.
Unfortunately, a lot of things have gone on since as well in life (I'll have to condense so as not to write an essay here!) which led to her blow up at me. My narcissistic mother found where I live (we were no contact), not due to anything either of us did or by choice. My housemate has trauma and struggles with being borderline abrupt/cruel/serious anger issues/inability to process or identify emotions healthily.
ISSUE. I am always patient and understanding when i can be. I try my absolute best for her to leep up wotj her jigh cleaning standards and help her - she has been not staying at her house a lot as she basically lives with her bf when hes back from fifo. She blew up at me over a few minor things at the house and yelled at me. I was already on edge and she pushed me so far I had a panic attack and had to leave. I was trying to listen but she was so agitated, angry and verbally abusive that I started freaking out.
She did message me a few times apologising after the fact which I really appreciate the thought. However I didn't hear anything the next day or today. She simply texted me at 8pm while I went for a drive to try calm down, and when I came home at 11pm she was fast asleep.
We haven't spoken and I don't want to just reach out as always as I always do and apologise to faun and soothe the situation.
What do I do?

Earlier tonight, I was talking about Paul and Morgan to my gf and explaining some of their lore, which she was rightly horrified by. She had known about them before but not to the extent i told her. I used the term "Porgan", which she had never heard before. I think it stuck with her, cause...
here we are, many hours later. We are both women, I'm drunk, she's sober, and she's spooning me to try to get me to settle down cause we are settling in for bed. in the dead of fucking night, around 2:30AM, with total silence around us, in total darkness, she whispers in my ear....
"Porgan."
I laughed so hard into my pillow that I nearly threw up, and its all of your faults for teaching me the word Porgan.

So for context, my partner (M26) and I (F24) have been in a ldr for about a year and some change. I'm on the west coast and he's in the Midwest, so we aren't too far. Unfortunately, we've both hit a rough patch financially so although we have made plans to meet before, we are still nevermets. We just don't have the funds to travel right now. It's hard seeing couples meet, hold hands, hug, or just be in the same room together sometimes.
So, I'm in the process of transferring to a university, and there's a school near him that's almost a perfect match for me. After doing some research on the school, I've started taking steps not only to attend school there but also close the gap. We're both really excited about this.
I live at home with my family and it's very unhealthy for me, negatively affecting me mentally and physically. This fuels me even more to close the gap. The problem is that, what if im making a mistake? I don't know what the mistake is, but what if I make it??? I've never been past the west coast, so packing up and moving halfway across the country scares the shit out of me but also excites the hell out of me. I told my grandparents about this and they begged me not to move, thats what really gets to me. I would hate to hurt my Granny, plus shes had health issues, what if something happens to her? I also won't get to see my siblings much anymore. Also.. the weather... my God the weather...
Besides the cons, there are some pros. The cost of living where i am is absolutely insane, I don't think I can afford to live here on my own. I get to finally live a little bit. I don't get out much and have spent the majority of the past three years in my room. I get to live in a big city with more opportunities ot thrive in the field im pursuing. And lastly I get to be with my lover.
Sorry for rambling, I really just wanted to get this off my chest and talk about it with it with someone. I'm scared honestly. Am I doing something potentially dumb?

UNDEFEATED!! I live in Central Europe and love that we started the season with an afternoon game, because it was a (late) night game for me. With six hours difference between EST and CEST, I get to watch so little baseball in a season.
I used to have SN Now but near the end of last season, it stopped falling for the VPN trick. Now the SN app is so smart that I can’t even watch highlights with a VPN.
How do other fans abroad handle this? I’d kill for access to Jays in 30 on demand, or even a live stream of SN1, but can’t find anything that will let me sleep at night and be with my Jays.