I'm trying to build a ramp using the new leveling designation, and my trucks would rather drive to narnia to dump in a "dumping" zone rather than leveling in the right-close-by leveling area. Same priority, same allowed dumpings. My guess is that since the bottom squares are half-dump, half dig, it calls that a lower priority than pure dumping spots? If I remove the leveling designation and replace it with a dumping designation it works as expected.

The Iconoclast was very different on the inside than it was on the outside. The outside was painted a dark, rusty red and kept simple to help blend into the void of space. It was large, sure, about a kilometer and a half long, but it was also bulky in a sleek way, two words that shouldn't have fit together but did in this case. The ship had a lot in common with those of tilfish design; substantial in tonnage for its purpose but still practical and efficient. But it was also clearly pieced together from several salvaged tilfish ships by humans, making it thinner and and more predatory in nature than what you'd normally see constructed by the aquatic insectoids.
The inside, however, well that was a different story. It was a warm orange color throughout, and filled to the brim with things you wouldn't expect to see inside of a warship. The first place she saw just down the hall when she entered the ship was the dining hall. The dining hall was actually more like a very large dining room, with dozens of wide circular tables that were bolted to the floor surrounded by elegant dining chairs. Two red vintage soda machines sat side-by-side next to a series of glass-door fridges containing all sorts of drinks from soda to bottled water. A buffet was to the far side of the hall, next to a pair of push doors leading to the kitchen. A few dozen members of the crew were already seated, most of them being Arxur and Humans, although she spotted a few Gojids and Harchens in the mix. Babushka Polina hobbled past them back to the kitchen while mumbling about something, a Venlil wearing an apron opening the doors to the kitchen for her before following her inside.
Everybody was chatting and socializing, dinner apparently not having been served yet. She preened her feathers nervously, scared of what would be served. Even if it wasn't a sentient, the idea of these predators tearing apart a live animal terrified her. She didn't want to be here to observe their eating practices, even if she had seen some outliers. Would they even serve anything other than meat? Sure, Song Lui had served her vegetables, but these people were very different; they had different accents, skin tones, names, clothing, and probably a different culture. She couldn't assume they would act the same as Song Lui, as it would be both foolish and unbecoming of her.
She felt Sargen's clawed paw squeeze her shoulder in a vain attempt to comfort her. "Whatever you think is going to happen, it wont. Just sit down and relax, and I promise I'll be right next to you."
Silijima took a deep breath in the vain attempt to calm down. "What will they be serving," Silijima hissed, the panic in her voice readily apparent. "I don't want to be eating meat from some carcass like a predator. I know that the predators on this ship won't eat me, but that still doesn't change the fact that they eat like predators."
Sargen just chuckled. "You really don't have a clue. Let's just go sit down, I'll introduce you to some of my coworkers before Igor gives his speech and Babushka announces the beginning of the feast."
Silijima fidgeted but relented, allowing Sargen to steer her into the dining hall and to a table with a few crew members along with a tall, white bottle containing some kind of potent and clear liquid; alcohol maybe? Their presence didn't ground her at all, rather it only made her even more anxious, but she pulled herself together and shooed Sargen away before sitting down. The largest of the humans, practically a giant in size and only a few inches shorter than Tarlim himself, looked at her and she nearly jumped out of her feathers. He was young, but still mature enough to seem jaded, and he had a mop of messy black hair that covered his dark hazel eyes. His lip was scarred, and his neck had a few nasty scars as well that reached down under his loose t-shirt and onto his chest. He was muscular and toned, reminding Silijima of a tree trunk you'd find on her homeworld, and his arms were the size of bridge cables. He was sitting in a larger chair than usual, probably because any normal chair would've seemed comically small in comparison, and probably break under his weight.
"Who's your little friend, Sargen? Is she the new blood?"
Sargen nodded. "That she is. This is Silijima, our newest hull engineer and weapons maintenance coordinator." Sargen gestured to the truly massive human gently. "Silijima, this is Haran, also known as Goliath. He's one of our assault specialists and heavy gunners."
Silijima waved meekly, and Haran nodded. "She doesn't seem too confident. Lucky for us she isn't a grunt."
Sargen scowled at Haran, obviously not happy with how he spoke about Silijima. Silijima, on the other hand, wasn't too offended; she understood she wasn't exactly confident even if she was a trained soldier.
"Haran, please try to show some respect; she's our newest crew member."
Haran shrugged. "I didn't mean to offend, just pointing out that she doesn't exactly have nerves of steel."
"No, no; it's fine," Silijima interjected. "Don't worry about it, Sargen, I know what he means." And she did. She wasn't brave at all, or at least she didn't think she was brave. Sure, she had fought before, but she was just an engineer. Her combat experience was limited to assisting the ship guard in defending the more vulnerable parts of the ship. It wasn't her job to go out of her way to be face to face with predators, and thus she wasn't used to it. In fact, that was one of the reasons why she was able to last so long inside civilian society after her temporary discharge; most of her fellow soldiers were desensitized to predator glares, a surefire symptom of predator disease, while she was merely capable of reacting in time to not be gutted by an Arxur.
Haran simply nodded. Next to him was a tall, youthful and pale-skinned human with brown hair and green eyes. He gave Silijima a friendly human snarl and a small wave. "It's good to meet you, hun, I'm Timothy."
Silijima imitated him, waving her wings nervously. "It's nice to meet you too, Timothy. What's your role on the ship?"
Timothy chuckled for a moment before responding. "Oh, me? My job's pretty boring. I'm just the quartermaster, essentially the guy who manages the ship's stores and assigns rooms."
Sargen nodded behind her. "Timothy's a good man; he helped me through some hard times and he still does from time to time."
"Yep, I try to help everyone on the ship when I can; Sargen is just special to me because he's one of my close friends." Timothy then turned his attention to Sargen, who seemed to shrink under his carefree gaze. "That reminds me, Sargen, you missed dinner last night. What's that all about?"
"I… something came up." The enormous Gojid stuttered, obviously nervous.
"Oh really? Well, we have a few days before our next assignment. You should come over tonight."
Sargen didn't seem too amused by that idea. "Timothy, you don't have to invite me over every week."
"Oh, but we do," Timothy countered. "Sargen, when you're at home on the station you subsist off of takeout and whatever junk food you pick up at the insta-mart. Me and Madison want to make sure you eat at least one healthy meal every week."
Sargen grumbled for a moment, but didn't resist causing Timothy's smile to only grow. "Good, I'll expect you to be there. Siijima ,hun, you're invited too if you want to join us. We don't serve meat at the table when our crew members join us for dinner, I promise."
Timothy's kindness shocked Silijima. Inviting someone over for dinner on Nishtal was only done for business or if the individuals in question were good friends. For Timothy to invite Silijima, a relative stranger, over for dinner showed that he truly saw her as a potential friend. "I would be honored, but I wouldn't want to intrude on whatever… this is."
Haran snorted in amusement at Silijima's synopsis of the odd relationship between Timothy and Sargen, obviously having experienced this conversation beforehand.
"Nonsense," Timothy replied, "We always make extra, and any friend of Sargen's is a friend of ours."
Silijima didn't say anything in return, but Sargen spoke in her place. "Timothy, let's just get through lunch before you start inviting people to dinner."
Timothy shrugged, a smile on his face. "I understand. Just make sure you come tonight; Gabbie misses her Goji."
Silijima had never seen a Gojid blush so deeply before. "Please don't use that name in public, it's degrading."
Timothy made a face that implied he obviously wasn't going to respect Sargen's request, causing the Gojid to fume.
To the right of Timothy was a Venlil female. She didn't wear anything except for a simple pearl necklace, but her fur was meticulously combed and groomed. She gave Silijima a soft, motherly smile, a smile that put her at ease.
"Don't mind the boys, dear, they're just acting like fools as usual. My name's Varka, one of the resident nurses under Dr. Kaczemeric." Venlil stuck out her paw, and Silijima was confused until she remembered to take Varka's hand. Varka simply giggled, obviously amused by Silijima not being used to human social norms. "It's nice to meet you too, dear. Why don't you sit down next to me? Carphano and I are probably less intimidating than our human friends."
Varka gestured to the final crew member at the table, a male Harchen with a scar across his face. He waved as well, his side facing eyes droopy and full, as if he hadn't had much sleep recently. "My name's Carphano, communications officer, nice to meet you."
Silijima sat in between them, the feeling of being amongst a group of species she was familiar with making her feel much more comfortable. Sargen and Timothy were still arguing quietly, while Haran watched with an amused look on his face. Suddenly, she heard the loud and repeated clinking of a spoon against a glass. Across the dining room, Igor stood on a podium made from inlaid mahogany, a bright snarling smile plastered on his face. "Friends! Today is a good day! In the past week, we made history!"
The entire dining hall went silent at the sound of his voice. This must be a man that commanded their respect.
"Five days ago, we returned from what may just be the greatest group liberation in Commonwealth history. Thirty two cruiser-class cattle ships were captured, their prisoners saved and their guards captured or killed. Today, the Coalition has finally given us the exact number of cattle liberated, as well as our cut of the spoils!"
The entire dining hall was dead silent, the anticipation palpable. Finally, Igor gestured to a man next to him, a shorter human with a thin brown mustache and olive skin. The man passed him a paper, which Igor opened like a giddy child receiving a birthday card. Finally, he read the contents, his snarl only growing.
"The final number of liberated cattle was… one hundred and twenty-two thousand, three hundred and seventy four; the largest liberation in history."
The entire room broke into cheers, aliens of all races holding each other and yelling. It was pandemonium, but Silijima couldn't help but join the crowd, both the news and her herd instincts causing her to join in with triumphant squawks. The idea of saving over a hundred thousand sentients from slavery was so incredible that it invoked a euphoria inside of her that she hadn't felt for a long time.
Igor gestured for the crowd to quiet down, and as they did so he spoke up again. "We must remember, however, that this was not only our doing. We must congratulate our comrades who assisted us, all seven ships, their crews and captains, as well as mourn those who were lost while fighting for the freedom of others." With that statement, Igor held up a small glass of the clear liquid, as did many of the crew members. Then, he shouted at the top of his lungs "mortem tyrannis et oppressoribus!" Before downing the liquid in a few gulps and slamming the glass onto the podium with a loud thump. The rest of the crew followed suit, the largest arxur to the tiniest dossur drinking and shouting the motto Igor had proclaimed. Silijima didn't have a glass, so she just watched expectantly, waiting for Igor to continue.
"Now, for the part all of you have been waiting for; payroll. Even after the Coalition took their cut, and we split the profit eight ways, we made out like bandits. Needless to say, you'll all be getting the maximum bonus on top of your commissions."
More cheering, even louder this time. Silijima didn't blame them; Igor seemed like a good boss if he was giving out the maximum bonus for a job well done. Even Sargen had a bright smile on his face, as if he was already planning on what he was going to spend the money on.
"And finally, our future work; we won't be taking part in any liberation fleets any time soon. Instead, the Coalition sees fit to assign us on a defensive rotation, so it should be a calm few weeks. This means that if you've been on a few back to back missions, you should go home and rest for the month. Spend time with your family, or vacation planetside for all I care; God knows you all need it after our last victory. The rest of you; be prepared to take off on Friday and be space-born for at least a week at a time. And be prepared for a fight; NeoSec has detected a small Farsul fleet in the area, at least five thousand ships. Nothing cataclysmic, mind you, but still a worthy challenge."
There was murmuring now, people discussing the change of pace and whether they liked it or not. From the corner of her eye, she saw Sargen practically pouting, arms crossed and eyes refusing to make contact with Timothy's. Timothy, to his credit, seemed very pleased with himself.
"So hun, what brings you to our little slice of chaos?" Asked Timothy, eyes twinkling. He took another sip of his drink, a bottle of soda so green it almost looked radioactive. He seemed really nice, like a preacher, but without any of the feelings of hesitation she'd get from speaking to one. He lightly tapped the wedding band on his ring finger against the neck of the green glass bottle, causing it to make light clicking noises.
"I uhh… I wanted to get away from Nishtal. Too much is going on there for me to be comfortable with."
Timothy nodded. "That explains why you came to the Commonwealth, but not why you decided to become a Corsair. It's not an easy life, you know."
Silijima pondered his query for a second before responding. "Military life is all I know. When I finished secondary school I joined the navy because I had nothing better to do, but now that I'm out I can't imagine any other life. Sure, it's hard, and especially dangerous, but without that certainty and structure that I get from being on a warship, I feel lost."
Timothy nodded, his face becoming a little somber. "I understand that feeling. I'm ex-military, although I didn't see much combat. Getting out is the hardest thing I've ever done, although I'm pretty sure I never really left the service, I just changed who I served."
Silijima nodded. "It's refreshing to talk to someone who understands. That life… it changes you, and not for the better. Everyone at home, well, they're scared of me, they say I'm diseased and it's a matter of time before they throw me into some clinic where they drug and shock me until my brain melts. Even the people I served with, if they weren't already taken away for 'treatment' then they're too terrified to say anything because we don't know who we can trust."
For the first time since she had met him, Timothy didn't seem amused or amicable. He had a deep frown on his face and his eyebrows were bent downwards, an expression she had been told meant anger. She backed away a little, but he held up his hand. "I'm not mad at you, it's just the idea of an entire society treating those who risk their lives to protect them like dirt is despicable. On earth, we celebrate our heroes, not vilify them."
Silijima nodded. "In a perfect world maybe, but I'm used to it."
"But that's the problem; you shouldn't have had to live like that, in fear of the same people you swore to protect… it's not right."
"Maybe, but what's done is done. I left Nishtal and now I'm here, so maybe I can experience that respect for once."
"You don't have to hope, because I know you will. The people here are different, even the former feds, you'll see."
And with that uplifting though, dinner began. Polina and her assistants, two Venlil and a Sikvit, rolled out massive wheeled tables filled to the brim with different steaming pots, pans and bowls containing all kinds of food. To her dismay, there was meat on the table, but there was also a section entirely dedicated to vegetarian dishes, and it was even longer than the table dedicated to meat.
Some of the naval staff ran up to help, with Polina shooing them away stubbornly. They simply ignored her and helped anyway, rolling the tables to the far wall next to the kitchen. Soon, a massive feast was gathered, with over two dozen tables of all sorts of human delicacies.
The crew quickly made their way to the tables, forming lines at each. Plates, bowls and cups were passed out by the kitchen staff, and soon people began piling their plates high with all sorts of food. Sargen had two whole bowls of what seemed to be a deep red colored stew, which she first foolishly assumed was blood, but quickly realized was just the liquid taking on the red color of the beets and cabbage. Timothy had a bowl of hearty cabbage stew that she had learned was called Schi and a shallow plate of small, ear-shaped dumplings on the side called Pelmeni, swimming in a fragrant broth and topped with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkling of black pepper. There were other dishes, so many that Silijima couldn't count them all, but she was introduced to many of them by Timothy when he led her up there to get her a plate. There was all sorts of vegetarian dishes for her to try, ranging from cold soups like Svekolnik, Okroshka and Botvinyah, all sorts of salads with based on salted pickles and beetroots, several variations of hot soups like Schi and Borscht, Vareniki dumplings, farmers cheese shaped into cakes and shallow fried and so much more. Timothy insisted on making sure she got her fill, so he made her plate for her, filling her a bowl of Svekolnik and some Vareniki dumplings on the side with Smetana and black pepper. Only then did he let her sit down, after he quickly said grace, of course. Silijima didn't know what saying grace meant exactly, but she guessed that it involved them thanking their strange human God for their food, which felt anything but predatory.
Timothy took a bite of his Pelmeni. "So, how're you liking the station so far? Anything peak your interest?"
Silijima chuckled. "Everything, actually. This place is so unique and alien compared to anything in the Federation; it makes me think about what my species would be like if the Federation hadn't erased our old culture."
Timothy gave her a small smile, but she could tell he was troubled. "And you don't mourn for that lost culture?"
Silijima paused, thinking about his question. "I suppose I do sometimes. The idea of us being freer and less… inane with our thinking really strikes me as a wonderful change of pace. I could never see myself as an omnivore… no offense!"
But Timothy wasn't offended. "I don't blame you for not suddenly being enamored with omnivore; the same happened with cloned meat on earth. A bunch of elites tried to make cloned meat the rule and not the exception through all sorts of government restrictions and subsidization schemes. All these rich influencers and wealthy magnates who can still afford to buy the real thing, and still do to this day mind you, told us how we were supposed to live and what we were supposed to do, that we were supposed to sacrifice while they enjoyed every luxury imaginable. To this day it doesn't sit well with a lot of people on the station."
Suddenly, Silijima's mouth dried up and her appetite disappeared. "You guys don't clone meat here?"
Timothy shook his head. "Nope, not a single pound. In fact, it's been lawfully and democratically voted into illegality by the citizens of the station, to protect our cattle farmers planetside. Most humans on earth aren't vegan and vegetarian by choice; it's really expensive to buy meat because of meat cloning, and that was before the war and the deals with the Arxur. Now you have to be vegan because of the massive decrease in available cattle. That doesn't stop the rich from eating their fill though."
Silijima looked away, internal disgust battling moral indecision. On one hand, the idea of eating love cattle was far more disgusting to her than cloned meat, but on the other hand she understood his metaphor clear as day; it was about the Commonwealth and the Federation. "You support cattle farming not because it's better, but because it benefits humans more."
"It's not about 'you' or 'me', Silijima, it's about 'us' and 'them'. At the end of the day, a government is supposed to represent everyone and see to their requests, not what the government thinks they need or want. That also means everyone should be equal under that representation, and not that the rich and wealthy should receive all the attention and benefits while the lives of you and I get harder and harder. Sadly, people had to learn the hard way that when you give governments the right and the power to provide you with everything, suddenly they provide you with nothing. Medical care, for example, started out as a right after the satellite wars. It quickly became a privilege for the 'good citizens' who voted the right way, and said the right things, and if you didn't suddenly you got a bill in the mail for hundreds of thousands of dollars for your daughter's chemotherapy, stating that you had waived your right to state-sponsored medical care the moment you chose to practice your right to free speech in a way that was deemed unsavory by the UN." Timothy looked straight at her, his eyes boring into her soul, and she quickly realized that he was speaking from experience.
"What are you getting at," Silijima stated hastily, nervous over Timothy's sudden change in tone.
"What I'm getting at, Silijima," he stated, his eyes downcast as he ate another dumpling, "Is that rights shouldn't come with caveats. Just like you shouldn't be punished for coming back a changed woman after you dutifully served your people, I shouldn't have my daughter used against me for practicing what should be a universal right. Unchecked power is a cancer, and the Commonwealth was created to prevent that from ever coming into being."
Silijima mulled over what he said. Would humans really do that to each other in the name of power? Deprive each other of basic rights? Silijima was used to the Federation deceiving her people, but what punches had humanity pulled in the name of retaining power.
"Timothy, if I may ask, what is humanity really like?"
Timothy chuckled. "What made you think I implied we were any different from what the UN had shown you?"
"The reveal of my species' former omnivory, and your statement about caveats and free speech. You made it sound like humanity was hiding something."
Timothy sighed, obviously weary. "It isn't humanity that's hiding anything, Silijima; it's the UN. They want you to think that they were all these wonderful, misunderstood balls of cloud fluff. In reality we're assholes. We hate each other with a passion and we're not afraid to show it. War, racism, misogyny and misandry, prejudice; we'll find a way to hate each other even if it's impractical because we need some great enemy to battle or otherwise we'll start asking questions, questions that will be of a detriment to the UN. The rich and powerful used this for a long time to make us forget we were fighting a class war and not a culture war. They made us enemies of each other because of how strong our convictions could be."
Silijima's heart sank. She had guessed as much.
But Timothy wasn't done. "Before you start judging us too harshly, I'd like to add that the pendulum swings both ways. Humans, we often hate each other, but we can be even more passionate. We love, we love, and we protect those who dedicate themselves to our cause with a fury like no other. And even though we have problems with race, we are equally able to see beyond it when the reality of how petty it is is presented to us. And to me, Silijima, you aren't a Krakotl; you're family, and there's no bond stronger than family."
Silijima considered whether she liked that or not. Then she realized that her standards had been far surpassed. These strange primates had been everything she hoped for and more. She figured she could pull a human and looked past race from now on.
"I'd like that," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'd like that very much."
Timothy smiled again, that bright, mischievous smile, and for once she wasn't alarmed or frightened. She was comforted. "I'm glad you do. But there's something else I wanted to tell you. There's a city from my old nation, and at the entrance of that city stands a great statue. Most of it was obliterated during the bombing, but one piece remained; the plaque. It read as followed;"
Then Timothy spoke poetry that reached into Silijima's soul, and her tears became unbearable. She cried as he spoke it, as if they were the words she wished to hear all her life, a promise that could set her free.
"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”"
"We took the plaque with us when we fled, I helped carry it myself," Timothy said, a shadow of a smile formed on his lips, as if he was reminiscing the moment, "they're still demanding it back to this day, which is why we welded it to the wall behind the seats of our council chambers; the UN doesn't deserve it back, they lost the right to speak those words long ago. But the message is universal; you are welcome here, as is your family, and you will not be silenced or suppressed. We want you at your best, and we are willing to deal with your worst. All we ask is that you have an open mind, and do the same for us."
Silijima nodded, tears streaming from her eyes. "I can do that."
Timothy's smile grew even brighter, and he wrapped his arm around Sargen's shoulder, pulling him in close. "Then I'm sure me and my family would gladly welcome you, isn't that right Sargen?"
"Hmmmkmfh?" Sargen said, confused and with his mouth full of borscht. Silijima laughed, and for the first time in years the stress that had built up in her chest was gone. She was free. She was where she belonged.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm back. This is officially the end of the first Gunbirb Saga. I won't be focusing on Silijima for a while because I'll be focusing on other places, and other topics. The Galaxy of Interloper is even bigger than the standard NOP galaxy, and I've got so much to show you (;
I posted the first chapter of the next Part prematurely: that was a mistake on my part but I was dying to write more about Dojur and his consolidation of power. The next five or so chapters will be of a very different tone than the first five, much darker but also filled to the brim with Arxur and Dominion worldbuilding about culture, religion and daily life.
If you like what I've written so far, and you like my terrible writing and my inane worldbuilding, go check out other stories that I've written:
Waking Dreams: An insane pokemon/bleach crossover, and my first real attempt at writing something. It's a long story that's nowhere near finished, and it's got the deep worldbuilding that I'm not really known for [:
The Spider's Stronghold: Another insane fanfic crossover between Pathfinder and PJO, primarily Jason-centric. Take that as you will.
I also just wanted to thank everyone who either helped with this story or gave me support in the form of art (That would be u/BushBacon69 ) Or simply taking the time to comment ( u/A_Tank_With_Internet, u/AcceptableEgg5560, u/bltsrgewd, u/WonderfulMagpie, u/se05239, and others.) Thank you all; without the motivation you all have given me, I wouldn't have finished this fic.

I used to have the softest curliest hair without even trying. Now with 2 kids under the belt (thanks hormones), and a move to Montreal (the water seem different here), my curls are limp.
I have very fine hair and not much of it. I’ve tried a lot of generic brands like Tresemme, Garnier, Shea Moisture (way too heavy) Maui etc and other brands that used to work like Giovanni and still have flat lifeless curls. I’ve done a few clarifying shampoos too …
My hair doesn’t seem to like protein and definitely needs more moisture …
Any and all suggestions welcome! I use Jessicurl (Aussie brand) spirulicious and a soft hold gel ….
Sorry for the essay!

I'm sure that a lot of you will find this article to be tantamount to yet another reminder that ursine creatures defecate within sylvan districts - but I've never seen one that so comprehensively lists the attributes that women have claimed are used against them in the workplace.
They left out neurodiversity, of course; but our neurodiverse traits are often responsible - or mistaken - for many of the items on their list of perceived "deficiencies".
From the article:

Gender bias and discrimination have held women back in the workplace for generations, but new research indicates gender-based judgments barely scratch the surface of ways professional women are criticized throughout their careers.
In a recent study of 913 women who answered open-ended questions, researchers found 30 common personality traits and identity-based characteristics that women say were used against them at work . . .
The women included in the study work in four female-dominated industries in the US (higher education, faith-based nonprofits, law and healthcare), and responded to questions including:
What additional identity factors do you feel have influenced your experiences at work?
Other than gender bias, what types of biases have you encountered at work?
For example, age is a consistent challenge for women leaders: Some say they were told they were too young to lead, while others were deemed too old. There’s also a double-standard by gender, as one physician noted: “I am middle-aged, and men my age are seen as mature leaders and women my age as old.”
Women receiving this criticism may interpret it as a personal failing or to suppress their career ambitions. . . . a woman who’s been told she’s too young to be promoted may think, “I just need to wait until I’m older; then I’ll be ready to lead.”
The 30 characteristics that women say were used against them in the workplace include:
Accent
Age
Attractiveness
Body size
Class
Color
Communication style
Cultural identity
Dietary restrictions
Education
Employment history
Ethnicity
Gender conformance
Health
Intellectual ability
Marital status
Nationality
Occupation
Occupational position
Parental status
Personality traits
Physical ability
Political preferences
Pregnancy
Race
Religion
Residential location
Seniority
Sexual orientation
Veteran status
Bias based on race, ethnicity, color and nationality came up in a number of ways. Women of color were targets of microaggressions in the workplace, like a Black faith-based leader who described being regularly talked over by white men, and a Filipina physician who’s regularly mistaken for a nurse.
There was even a double-standard in terms of how men and women were treated based on their health conditions. One physician developed ovarian cancer while serving as an officer in the public health service and responded to the study that “the plan was to discharge me ... even though men with prostate cancer didn’t have to go through that.”
Researchers say these identity-based criticisms are often a “red herring” for gender bias.
“It didn’t matter the characteristic, they were just being criticized for this and that and the other thing,” [a researcher associated with the study] says. “We realized it wasn’t because of that particular [issue]” but rather “the underlying gender bias was the cause, and the criticisms are really just excuses the women were given.”
Researchers say there are a number of concrete ways businesses can better address their bias against women to support and promote them in their careers.
One “simple and powerful tool” is to use the “flip it to test it” method: . . . — “Could you ever imagine this being said about a man?” Using the 900-plus comments from women in their study, “the answer was always no".
Managers can also make sure they bake in constructive feedback for women professionals, who are more likely than men to receive negative feedback that’s subjective rather than objective, and feedback that’s too vague to be improved upon. Researchers say a lot of feedback directed toward women focuses on more team-based skills like being cooperative or coping with politics, while men are often encouraged to develop leadership skills like setting a vision, leveraging power and being assertive.
Leaders should encourage employees of all genders to develop both sets of skills.
[emphases mine]

So, how familiar does all of this sound to you? Is there anything that you would add to the list based on characteristics that you feel were responsible for being discriminated against in the workplace?

Setting up the maxwell with a combined PS5 (dongle) and a Windows 10 PC (bluetooth). If I use the dongle with the PC I get the microphone working, however using bluetooth the microphone fails to work within Windows.
Looking in Device Manager I see that under the bluetooth option there is no Microphone listed, unlike with the Dongle I see "Microphone (Chat-Audeze Maxwell).
In sound output I have the following set when using bluetooth "Headset (Audeze Maxwell BT Hands-Free AG Audio)
Does the headphone not support a microphone using bluetooth?

Asking Price: $300
Timestamp and video of device function: Link
Prefer a local cash exchange in the Phoenix Arizona area, but will ship (buyer will be responsible for shipping cost)
Fanatec Clubsport Pedals V3 Purchased: 09/18/22 (From Fanatec )Original Cost: $432.15 Details: Used several times a week for 9 months without issue (aside from the load cell problem noted below) and only selling because I've upgraded to Heusinkveld Ultimate+. Cables, spare pedals, and spare springs included. Original box and spare mounting hardware not included. Swapped out the original aluminum heel plate screws for stainless steel versions because the originals are prone to stripping.
Fanatec Clubsport Pedals V3 Brake Performance Kit Purchased 09/28/22 (From Fanatec) Original Cost: $21.56 Details: Swapped in some harder elastomers for better brake feel. Original and remaining elastomers included.
Replacement Load cell Replaced: 02/18/23 (From Fanatec Support) Details: Load cell broke under heavy braking and snapped small arm on load cell unit. Submitted ticket and replacement unit was sent within a week. Replaced unit and have been using it since without issue.

Hello everyone. I (29M) am auditing the trauma-laden relationship with my DID wife (29F) after another bout of unwanted cheating. We are hypermonogamists. To us, infidelity is a sacrilegious violation of Love. Alas, my wife has Dissociative Identity Disorder and some alters are hellbent on reenacting trauma with abuser substitutes. Yes, the DID is diagnosed by a trauma specialist, not Dr. Google. To differentiate from her alters, I will refer to Her True Self as Wifey.
I tracked the cheating history by writing this behemoth of a post and did my best to connect dots between childhood trauma and modern consequences. I hope that the community’s outside perspectives can spot things to which we are still blind, provide advice, or give any input that might aid our situation. All opinions welcome. I will access them carefully.
Please note that I have a Dismissive-Avoidant attachment style, and my psychologist noted C-PTSD. I also have DID but unlike my wife, I worked long enough to achieve co-consciousness, internal cooperation, and current dormancy in my alters. My True Self is finally in command. We ran out of therapy money before my wife could address her own issues, hence online communities are our last resort until savings build up again.
OUR TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD ORIGINS
I was raised and abused by my narcissist grandmother for 25 years due to her orchestrating a rift between Mom and I (topic for another post). Her 16yo son aka my uncle sexually abused both my wife and I from infancy. In my case he had daily access. For my wife, it was because our fathers and my uncle were a trio of scum.
Despite the uncle link, I didn’t meet Wifey till age 3. She was dancing under a sprinkler and noticed my stare. Lightning hit us the second our eyes met and we breathlessly ran over to announce the mutual BOOM. After that, we were inseparable. At age 4 I proposed, she agreed, and we shared our first kiss. Adorable? No. We didn’t know how to be kids—due to sex abuse and grandma teaching us adult concepts, we related as boyfriend-girlfriend way too early and began playing the game ‘naked stuff’. Nothing beyond this first connection is purely innocent.
Soon after our romantic friendship started, my wife was groomed into nightly ‘special love’ with my uncle, laying a foundation of unfaithfulness towards me. When the ‘other boyfriend’ dumped her at 6, infatuation spiked and led to 9 years of cartwheels to regain his desire. Between that and my grandmother worshipping him, I competed for both women’s hearts by copying uncle into synonymity. I even used his playlists for dates and sex, believing that I am only worthy of love if I *am* him.
During and after my uncle’s abuse, my wife’s pedo father raped her too. I am loathed to call this BDSM given that he never abided by Safe, Sane, Consensual, but what he inflicted *is* BDSM activity. By age 5, he was trafficking his daughter and forced me to watch the rapes plus participate in sadism until I started doing it of my own accord. I was taught that boys are supposed to do this to girls, because they are girls. I didn’t know vanilla sex exists till age 11, at which point we finally shared positive intimacy—this formed the bedrock of what we are striving to build in adulthood. Alas, the learned fetishes persisted for years.
Meanwhile, my narcissist grandmother tormented me daily and brainwashed my wife to mimic her opinions, mannerisms, approaches, etc., thereby producing a mini-me alter and adding layers to our trauma bond. That alter learned toxic views on women (they exist to serve men) and pro-adultery, as the Narc preyed on committed guys for the fun of causing break-ups, obtained her husband by homewrecking, and caught a married lover long before grandpa died. As teens we were actually ghostwriters and phone sex assistants for that affair, obstructing critical stages in our own relationship.
Throughout this, Love existed. No one but her made me feel Loved, Seen, Heard, Safe, Certain. Moreover, me and Wifey expressed authentically only to each other, providing an oasis for Our True Selves to develop untarnished. We mutually soothed our demons, inspired creativity, and entertained one another. Teen Wifey also proved my angel. She endured hell to guide me out of darkness and prevented suicide attempts. Without her, I would be in prison or dead. At 23 we married in hopes of becoming wholesome and slowly inched toward that goal.
For Wifey’s wellbeing, I spent 2015-2022 deprogramming my BDSM porn addiction, fetishes, and toxic attitudes about women. Only last year I comprehended healthy relationships in concept. I think it is a beautiful way to live but it unnerves me as well. We also realized that vanilla D/s is our true preference, and we are highly compatible as a team. There is potential for absolute Paradise, but many issues still need to be overcome (communication struggles, ignoring Wifey for eons while she waits for me to interact again, etc.). The infidelity is my current focus. Here goes the trauma-fuelled history of online cheating.
AN UNCLE SUBSTITUTE EXPLOITS HER
Wifey has 7 alters. Some self-harm, some climb out windows, some rabidly scratch me or shriek enough for police to arrive, but the most annoying is that 9yo girl imprinted on my uncle. She always pines to get him back—which she finally did, in proxy form: AP1 (Affair Partner 1).
May 19th, 2022, my wife met a 31yo ‘virgin’ on Facebook who sucked her in via sob stories. While extracting info on her alters and rapes, AP1 made her a sex-ed teacher. Her confidence flourished. I had no concerns given my rock-solid trust in Wifey. Little did I know the 9yo alter was having an emotional affair of unrequited ‘love’. AP1’s eerie similitude in looks / job / zodiac / vibe / pedo streak made him an ideal projection, especially given how much Uncle 2.0 lavished the alter. He was her dream come true. Looking back, I invited this situation by depriving Wifey of attention for too long. She needs regular interaction with me to stay Her True Self.
Anyways, Wifey believed the hours spent texting / on the phone were recharging her desire for ‘me’. We were yet to understand that ‘me’ meant ‘uncle’, as the two were blended. I started feeling off, but kept trusting her. After all, she had befriended two FB guys in 2021 who stayed platonic (only now we recognize them as lighter emotional affairs). Besides, grandma taught me that getting randomly sidelined or devalued is ‘just the way things are’.
After 3 weeks of grooming, AP1 triggered my wife, fully infiltrating her subconscious. She fearfully hid from him for 2 days, then tried to end the friendship on June 8th. AP1 derailed the goodbye into engaging topics, followed by traumatic content that methodically wore her down into an aroused trance. Once he hit the trigger jackpot, her alter seized control and delved into 6 hours of abuse reenactment sexting, audio clips, nudes, unholy “I love yous”, etc. while Wifey’s undercurrent of extreme stress induced miniature heart attacks—this caused permanent damage. Once Wifey woke up and saw what transpired, a female FB friend moved mountains to prevent her guilt-ridden suicide. She desperately wanted to die.
Later, I walked into the room expecting nothing unusual. Instead, tear-stricken wife fell to her knees, grabbed my leg and frantically confessed sexting, giving away our gif collection and using terms sacred to us. The heartbreak annihilated me. While consoling her, I struggled to swallow reality: the ONE PERSON I thought would never break my trust, just shattered it. Another dude just *stole MY wife*. Long before I learned that my old rival (uncle) was the motive, I felt triggered.
Many talks / meltdowns ensued between us and Mom. 48 hours later, the alter cheated again (June 10th) while we thought Wifey was snoozing. AP1 had unlocked an oil spill of traumatic arousal, hence it took seconds to induce the marathon, this time centred on BDSM. AP1 then instructed the alter to give him first dibs every day—the Husband can only get sloppy seconds. Once he left, she ran over to Mom announcing that her boyfriend is going to marry her (old fantasy about my uncle) in a jarringly American voice (Wifey is Francophone). This unmasked DID as the cheating engine and introduced us to a previously-unknown alter.
Once awake, Wifey plunged into catatonic shock and depression. We all supported Wifey grieving AP1’s sick exploitation and processing why she succumbed. I never got a chance to focus on myself amid the revolutionary insights, plus Mom and I kept scrambling to stop that alter before she obeyed the “sext me daily” command that would only retraumatize her further. We also discovered AP1 is a predator who targets mentally-ill wives in addition to little girls. That vulture has a thing for the most vulnerable forbidden fruit.
Realizing the insidious influence made Wifey hyperfocus on Our Marriage. She was outraged that AP1 dared invade us and texted him revocations of love, condemnations for “raping her while drunk” and tried to hammer the sanctity of Marriage into his snide mug. We banded together against my uncle’s spectre and felt in-tune as a couple. Therapy sessions were scheduled. Had this continued, Our Love would be detoxed and stronger than ever. Alas, a parasitic distraction sapped its power 6 days later.
GRANDMOTHER TRAUMA BOND INTERFERES
My wife kept shutting down during intimacy due to intrusive memories of AP1, plus an urge to blot out the existence of non-abusive sex. Her alters were clinging to my uncle’s ‘style’. She quickly realized that AP1 had stained sex and rendered her numb to me. She was distraught.
When my wife sought advice on June 16th, 2022, her friend (also abused) nabbed the chance to confess a bewildering lesbian crush. This shock activated the trauma bond with my grandmother and prompted another alter affair. She declared that a bit of lesbianism will cure our intimacy problem. At first, I laughed it off. Then therapy was cancelled, my savings were spent on gifts, and I realized that my wife’s #heart# was stolen in addition to sex drive. A Facebook woman had burglarized my one remaining stronghold.
Given how romantic it was, I felt replaced, invisible, abandoned (childhood themes). It sliced and diced me, particularly since my wife blinded herself to my pain no matter how I pushed her to see it (grandmother theme). My wife cried that she wants us both and can’t choose—no wonder, since she was unknowingly reliving a childhood scenario where emotional incest with my grandmother accompanied and influenced Our Love.
I was clueless about this. To me, it seemed a heart-crushing romantic affair. Being a hypermonogamist forced into polyamory is indescribable. On June 23rd, I ranted at AP2 for stealing the Love of My Life and decided on suicide even if I’m hellbound—Heaven means nothing sans my wife. Panicked AP2 called the cops. Mom convinced the officers that it was a false alarm, knowing that I would try to get shot. Wifey was unrecognizably hollow while comforting me. I fell asleep in bitter tears, her hand numbly wiping them away.
My bitterness began erupting while teary wife insisted this is a mission. She swore to end the affair as soon as she solves the ‘mysteries of sudden lesbianism’. I refused to support it. Our fights incited a fullblown manifestation of my AFib and worsened heart issues for my wife. Daily vomiting turned her into skin-and-bones. We nearly died, which would have caused the suicide of My Mom and AP2. Poor Mom already suffered intense health issues from this affair. She adores us both. Our vitriol devastated her.
Eventually I put my wife’s happiness above my own and let her go: if she is meant to come back to me, she will. I spent another month in living death. Surprisingly, Wife kept her promise. She discovered that the emotional incest with mother figures in both her and AP2 caused them to ‘fall in love’. The alters tied to my grandmother lost their grip, the affair ended (August 13th), and Love for me flooded back.
Wifey returned a matured woman: more Self-Aware, rational, and opposed to adultery than ever. I fell in Love with her vibrancy. Meanwhile, AP2 became our mutual best friend, an invaluable source of epiphanies for my healing too, and the biggest supporter of Our Love. Turns out that we all share near-identical trauma plus share common interests. As a result, I felt gratitude for this affair. Short-term suffering reaped long-term blessings.
A STRAINED AFTERMATH
AP1 continued to highjack our sex life. The conscious resurrection of my uncle in my wife’s psyche permanently split him and I into two men and revealed the sexual imprint. Between bringing that into her awareness and the various desecrations, AP1 vandalized her. Damn the timing! We were on the verge of a sex life free from trauma!
We lived in tension despite Loving efforts, and I struggled to overcome the sense that my mate is tainted. I put the bedroom on hold until these stains were purified, and figured it was best not to impose myself until the alter stops craving Uncle 2.0. For months I patrolled my turf obsessively while screaming inside. Did my best to remember that Wifey never betrayed me—these are only echoes of the past wrecking havoc in modern day.
TRANSCENDING THE CHEATING
Fast forward a year since the two affairs. I was working on Self-development and finally grieving my grandmother trauma. My wife started reflecting deeper on infidelity and had epiphanies:

1. Everything that she finds attractive and attributed to my uncle belongs to me (e.g., *I’m* the analytical nerdy poet surrounded by books—he’s the robotic, stuffy tech fanatic).
2. I am her real dreamboat, projected onto the pedo worshipped by her idol (my grandmother) instead of vice versa. She actually Loves me MORE as I gain authenticity.

AP1 displacing me as the substitute proved a vital liberation. My wife gained clarity because he took the entire uncle projection onto himself. That also made me shed residual mimicry. Her sex alters went dormant and True Wife was eager to rediscover Her Husband directly.
During Our Anniversary (mid-April), True Wife was a trembling ball of remorse and begged for an impromptu vow renewal. Her turn was a meltdown of apologies and fervent promises to never forsake Our Love again. She convinced me of her redemption, especially after rejecting FB dudes in her inbox while posting wishes to me. Hope was rebuilt. We seemed en route to healing. One problem: we still didn’t have sex.
ABUSER CONDITIONING RETALIATES
Avoiding sex since the cheatings was incredibly stupid. I didn’t realize that her alters, though dormant, felt owned by my uncle because I never reclaimed her. AP1 factory-reset my wife’s sexuality. The healthy things needed reinstallation before it was safe for her to face old trauma. My failure to do that made alters restless and our reconciliation was seen as a challenge to her fortified abuse programming. This was the worst time for my wife to post in a rape support sub.
In minutes the DM creeps descended and my wife met a pedophile whose way of abusing little girls woke the alters. My wife was in denial about the risk and texted me: “The affairs revealed truth about my alters and abuse. This man too. I gain awareness about my trauma as I tell it to him and understand more why pedophiles hurt us. I shall make sure it does not get personal. It is not a real affair. I am just researching.”
My heart was pounding but I tried to trust that she will stay within (barely tolerable) boundaries. NOPE. A mere 38 days after vowing never to betray me, her alter pleaded the pedophile to describe what *he* would do to 6-year old *her*. He whet her appetite with a partially-fulfilling fantasy before ghosting. Wifey entered a bizarre state of autopilot.
Inexplicably, she contacted a BDSM Redditor who is a known sanity risk, solicited him for sexting, then prayed for him not to respond. When he did, she felt scared shitless and obligated to describe her old tortures (as he commanded). The guy proceeded to demolish my wife’s barriers until she started craving her father’s tortures. The moment she called him “Master”, it was over for me.
I shut down and observed the trainwreck, feeling no sympathy. My wife invited all this shit and made a conscious choice to engage instead of block. I was dejectedly amused listening to the circus: “This is just research, I learn my mind by interacting with bad men—OMG OMG I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN SURVIVE THIS FILTH! I WANT ONLY YOU! Oh, another client needs my trauma for pleasure! Got to go!”
I felt too drained to realize that her unhinged sexting spree was stirring my trauma. Another oversight.
THE RIDE THROUGH OLD HELL
From May 27-28th, her alter became a snowball down Mt. Everest and the avalanche pulled me under. DM perverts verbally raped my wife while she took explicit photos right next to me in bed. Against all expectation, these e-rapes catapulted me back to boyhood: helpless to intervene, and too horrified to close my eyes. Taking away the phone didn’t cross my mind, nor could I. My body was paralyzed and eerily, I lost the ability to make sound. Seems that I contain significantly more trauma programming than anticipated. I resent my wife for subjecting me to this oppressive hell even more than I resent the cheating itself.
As if going down ‘memory lane’ wasn’t enough, possessed wife also channelled my grandmother. She would look at my tears and emit her sadistic CACKLE. Once I merged the two women, I was screwed. My trauma program dictates that I must endure whatever grandma wants; this includes watching her affair unfold.
As the ultimate insult, my wife spent the last 12 hours building an emotional affair on Reddit while I prayed for sleep. By dawn, her alter declared him a potential ‘boyfriend’. In her deluded head, the sexting arranged for nightfall would cure the rest through ultimate satisfaction plus bring True Wife back to Our Love, as this guy made her feel that “I am with you, not your uncle. Like *you* finally feel real.” The nonsensicality made me short-circuit. I was DONE.
INSANITY SLAMS TO A HALT
That afternoon, she finally jolted out of the binge-sexting. How? Wifey noticed my distress, 5 days too late. I watched her first comprehend that this is hurting me, then struggle to reset consciousness, then remember that Love exists. She did a 180 on her ‘client’ and viciously berated his perversion. That helped her regain footing.
My jittery wife proceeded to apologize, freak about the explicit photos, and spiral into a suicidal state over betraying me again. She erratically cancelled every sexting appointment, shut off the DMs, and spent days begging Divinity for help. We avoided each other.
In our first talk, Wifey confessed that she fears herself, as only her housebound life prevents physical cheating. While she wants nothing more than to be pure, her alters are begging for more due to trauma bonds. Wifey described it as: “Insatiable rocket blocked by a moral fence and waiting for release to zoom again.” Needless to say I was embittered.
REFLECTING ON THE AFTERMATH
While analyzing recent events, I realized something: my wife didn’t run to that BDSM sadist of her own volition. An elusive alter had taken the wheel: the brothel Madame who pulls my wife into prostitution re-enactments. No wonder she was cackling! It’s the alter’s trademark, based on my grandmother! That damn Narc used to say that it’s bad to deprive other men and let the body go to waste on one Husband. *No wonder* a vow renewal pissed off that alter! Now Wifey-on-autopilot made sense.
Wifey was stunned at the revelation and had a glitch (outraged cackles, whimpers, shudders) that confirmed its truth. She never knew this freaky alter steers her from behind the scenes. Took her awhile to digest the disturbing paradigm shift.
Interestingly, she later texted: “That alter does not excuse my choice to chat with a pedophile right after another creep showed me how vulnerable I am. I have ultimate responsibility even if later choices were not mine.”
I asked if that choice was really her own. She replied: “I think so, because he introduced himself as a retired counsellor. I never expected he was a pedophile and when he mentioned it, I should have been proactive about risks continuing such a topic with any man.”
I avoided her again and tried to pinpoint my feelings (still a struggle). No matter how blatantly I see the nymphomaniac is not Her True Self, the serial breakage of trust is making me relinquish hope, care, and concern. The more I sink into numbness, the less I care who is culpable. The whole Wifey & Co. feel ruined. I know it is very unfair to shun Wifey for sins committed in a trauma trance. DID is involuntary. Yet, her issues are a jinx now that I am surpassing our old life. The very toxicities Wifey healed in me remain her alters’ addiction. Now they’re in nasty withdrawal, desperate for any ‘drug’.
For the first time ever, divorce is drifting through my thoughts. I keep wondering, do I treat these events as a growth opportunity for her, or grounds for divorce? I want to reconcile, but should I? I’m burned out. She’s constant trouble. I feel ready to bail. And honestly, I feel unsafe.
Like my grandmother, my wife let me fly again before shooting me down. I barely began grieving narcissistic abuses and am scared of her containing grandma energy. The no-contact I implemented seems pointless—that Narc lives in my wife anyways. She even has the same power to crush me to dust, only stronger. My wife is my biggest weakness. I abhor weakness, thus I am abhorring her. I also detest the oppression of tiptoeing, compromising, and obliging alter whims at the expense of serious plans—JUST LIKE WITH MY GRANDMOTHER.
Then again, I can’t fathom living after a divorce. Wifey loves Celine Dion and we are the epitome of that duet I Hate You Then I Love You. The lyrics “It’s impossible to live *with you*, but I could never live *without you*, for whatever you do, I never never never want to be in Love with anyone but *you*” still rings true.
The Spouse Slot in my heart was formed in my wife’s shape and for her Essence alone. I can’t accept any other. If I was the dead guy in What Dreams May Come (one of our favourite films), I would definitely traverse the afterlife to save my wife no matter how broken she is. Existence in any world is meaningless without her.
We overcame worse hells than cheating. Why would I abandon Wifey when she is in desperate need of protection!? We live by the quote: “A perfect marriage is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.” In my belief, we are Twin Flames, and Wifey is definitely my Ideal Woman: demure, dreamy, melancholic, full of mischief and poetry. She saved my life. She redeemed me. We are supposed to grow old and go to Eternity together. Why would I give up on a lifelong mate over trauma!?
It seems that I am losing interest. This necrosis spurs the desire to amputate, while the increasing loss of exclusivity is repellent. For years I unquestioningly believed that she’s *incapable* of desiring anyone but me. Now my ownership feels diluted, invalidated, defeated. Several guy’s marks are all over her and nothing scrubs them off. Her intrusive memories of affairs even obstruct our intimacy!!!!! It is slammed into my face constantly—she is no longer ONLY MINE. That triggers a kneejerk aversion to others’ territory, which she now is.
After decades of impassioned Gomez & Morticia-style romance, I have no clue if I even Love her anymore. Something feels extinguished between us. There is a loss of respect—for the first time, my wife’s worth has fallen in my eyes. I saw her defile every renewed vow. It’s burned into me: she is substandard. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My beloved is suffering. Why am I on the verge of abandoning her!?
MY WIFE’S PERSPECTIVE
Wifey insists that she deserves patience as she tackles her trauma. Is Wifey right? I am going to copy/paste that text message from her here. Only fair to include both sides.
“Mon Amour, before you sink too deep with ghastly divorce ideas, may I please remind you one thing? I had infinite patience while you wrestled with your demons…I sacrificed myself to my depths for your healing and stayed even when I should have fled. You bemoan loss of trust online while I lived many years never feeling safe to trust you face to face!!!!!! But I never gave up on Love and the amazing man I saw beneath your shadows…my Ideal Man you have now become!
My alters twist and blur my thoughts dreadfully until I forget everything I have now…but they are NOT ME. You also were not yourself when you were lost…I fought so much to free you from problems and I would pray not to be abandoned when my own problems catch up with me…no one can heal their distortions overnight. “In sickness and in health” hm? I am sick. Why throw me away now? I do not feel this is very fair no matter how utterly loathsome my own actions…you know I shall always regret succumbing again. Alters aside I should have been proactive when I still had control and listened to Mama and even Mods warning me to turn off DMs when I signed up. I overestimated myself and now I pay many prices for my idiocy.
You do good job punishing me with ice already…I beg you be merciful enough to stay while I cleanse…please…we are like in the Destino animation…meant to be together but lost among shifting sands and obstacles trying to separate us…please do not forget Our Destiny of Love…remember, we don’t say goodbye…J’taime Éternellement!!”
CLOSING QUESTIONS
How do I cure the disenchantment / indifference? If I decide to stay, how do we rebuild when we lack solid rubble for a new reconstruction? How do I stop her restlessness to cheat? Is my wife getting exploited similarly to a drunk woman or is she culpable for her cheating? Am I the real failure here? Is this worth fighting for? Am I the real failure here?
TL;DR: Our Marriage is plagued by a shared abusive childhood, wife’s DID in particular. In 2022 an online predator reactivated her trauma programs through sexting. The fortified issues were never resolved, thus her alters cheated again once new predators DMed her in 2023. I hit my tolerance limit and something extinguished between us. I need advice on how to help my wife and rekindle Love.

I am an alcoholic.
My father was an alcoholic. He spent years using AA to get sober and he was ostricised by his entire support group when he refused step 12.
I am not an atheist. I have hope their is a higher power but I'm not willing to proclaim it under the social pressure of my peers rejecting me.
I was told the SMARTrecovery system was a way for me to socialize with people without being forced to accept a higher power.
Is this true?
Thank you.

The underlying issue that they are trying to address is judicial misconduct (Phinn falling asleep at the wheel) and prosecutorial misconduct (failings from Feldman and Mosby). And they are trying to figure out what mechanism can be used to fix it.
Prosecutorial misconduct in the other direction (hurting the defendant) has mechanisms to correct them with PCR hearings. Also the defendant themselves have means to prevent it because they have the ultimate decision in accepting a plea bargain. Judicial misconduct can be corrected by an appeal by one of the parties. Collusion can also be fought by the defendant again wih an appeal or not accepting the plea deal.
However what we here is a case where both prosecutorial and judicial misconduct happened at the same time and there is no obviuus mechanism to prevent it. So we're trying to use victim's rights to at least bring it to a spotlight in the courtroom, or potential give them an avenue of appealing so the customary judicial oversight is given by higher courts.
But the issue is giving them too many rights which don't apply in most cases just to solve something that may just be a one off. So I think the AG's office was maybe in a bind of which problem was worse for them.

Don't know yet by how much, but I felt pretty comfortable throughout, and I took my time stretching it out to just under 2 hours. Still a huge relief since it's all my $.
The online QAE is what clinched it for me, I started with Pocket Prep but I don't feel like it went deep enough. QAE isn't the same as the exam, but close enough. Reading and absorbing the explanations of every question (right or wrong) was useful I think.
Also covered about 60% of Chapple's LIL and Sari Greene's videos, kind of hopping around, after starting with the Chapple book and skimming through it.
Me: 20+ years in general IT (technical/management) including more cybersecurity for the past 5-10 years. The gaps in my knowledge were more of the formal, corporate-oriented stuff, since my career has been mostly with small orgs and wearing many hats.

Title basically.
Hi there, I'm an international student who applied to like some of the top colleges last year [for Fall 2023] like HYPSM, Duke, Ivy League etc. But the issue is I did it under parental pressure, less than two weeks before the college deadlines in like mid-December 2022 while I had health issues and was really sleep-deprived and went test-optional. Everything except my grades and my LORs (thanks to my lovely teachers) was mediocre at best. I'd have probably been the laughing stock in admissions offices in the colleges.
Unsurprisingly, I got my ass handed to me with only rejections. Now that I'm prepared and want to apply for Fall 2024, I feel like if the Admissions Officers were to view my file and compare it to my previous application, it'd feel like either I used external help or was a completely different person or probably get flagged for lying or something.
My point, is there's a massive difference in the quality of my app [for 2024] compared to 2023 (international awards, much better essays, impactful ECs that I forgot to mention last year, 36 ACT etc.) Feels like a completely different applicant.
So, will I get screwed over?
Especially when HYP ask if I've applied previously and look at my 2023 file.

3F, diagnosed with asthma at 2. Current medications: Fluticasone steroid inhaler-2 puffs twice daily, albuterol inhaler as needed, Claritin allergy medication.
My toddler has asthma, to what degree I have not been told. She is sick often, which increases her asthma symptoms. When ill her oxygen tends to drop a bit lower than average. Her pulmonologist told me this was normal with illness even in non-asthmatic patients. After her having RSV and Human Metaneumovirus last fall, I bought a finger pulse oximeter (technically for adults).
When sick it reads between 92-95 (although it was 90 when she was sick in the fall with the two illnesses listed above-her doctors were aware). The air quality has been considered unhealthy for sensitive groups in my area, so I’ve been keeping her in as much as possible. Even with this effort her asthma symptoms and wheezing have been constant. I just used the pulse oximeter on her (while she’s asleep) and it is ranging from 92-94-95 depending on the finger and hand I use.
I am just wondering how accurate these oximeters are? I am planning on calling her doctor, and have been using her albuterol every four hour inbetween her Fluticasone. She has been under the weather since the last week of May, gone through a 10 days supply of antibiotics, a 5 day supply of predisone, and has been to the doctor twice since then-told she sounded fine, just a little congested.

I'd like to preface this by saying I barely have any idea what I'm doing, mostly built with a bit of advice from friends and using the compatibility filter on PCPP. If I've do or say something stupid, it's likely because I am.
What is your intended use for this build?
General web browsing/netflix etc and gaming. Mostly want to catch up on a lot of the releases from the last 5~ years that I can't on my switch. Things like Elden Ring, RDR2, God of War etc.
I'm going to be making use of my two old BenQ monitors (GL2450 and G2420HDB) so won't be going above 1080p 60fps. I plan to pick up a 1440p monitor with a higher (~165hz) refresh rate in 6 months time or so. I'm under the impression the build should be okay handling playing most games at 1440p with medium/high settings at a high framerate. If thats not the case I'll probably just grab a decent 1080p screen. I was planning to run a dual monitor set-up, to start using my old BenQ monitors and eventually swapping one out to whatever I purchase in future.
What is your budget (ballpark is okay)?
Aiming for as close to (or under) £1000 (monitor not included)
In what country are you purchasing your parts?
UK
The Build
https://uk.pcpartpicker.com/list/RJk7k9
The build is put together with some form of futureproofing in mind, with a thought to upgrading the cpu or gpu in 3-5 years time, hence going for a 650 board and ddr5 ram. I'll give a quick rundown on my why I thought to choose each part and any questions I think of as I write.
Motherboard/GPU
ASUS are running a promo in the UK, £25 off if you leave a review and a £40 rebate on the graphics card. The 6700XT seems a good deal at ~£275 with all the discounts. The ASUS motherboard was chosen since it was basically the cheapest 650 board with wifi as the discount will drop it to £175. I've heard there were issues with 650 boards potentially overworking/overheating/overpowering(?) and damaging CPUs so a BIOS update/fiddling with bloatware/bios settings might be necessary and was hoping someone could clarify for me.
CPU/Cooling unit
Initially, I planned on re-using the old cooling unit from my previous build (~2011) which, as far as I can tell is a Noctua NH-U12P. I'm really not sure how compatible it'll be and it might need a new mount or spacer to be useable. I was thinking about switching to a Ryzen 5 7600 instead and just making do with the included fan, it's also ever so slightly cheaper (~£7). As far as I can tell from a quick google, the performance difference between the 7600 and the 7600X isn't very large at all. Was hoping someone smarter than me could let me know which would be the better choice. I'm also open to just buying a new cooling unit, but wouldn't want to spend more than another ~£40 on it.
RAM/SSD
I plan on just going with the cheapest in the categories at the time of purchase. As long as I get 32gb of RAM and 2tb storage I'm not too fussed. Will probably pick a brand like Crucial for the RAM and Samsung/Crucial/Micron for the SSD.
Case
The Coolermaster NR600 case seemed well regarded in my initial googling. I've chosen the one space for a disk drive as it was £15 cheaper and I didn't think there'd be a noticeable difference in cooling etc. I plan on just using the included fans for the time being. Again, confirmation or recommendations of alternatives would be appreciated.
I've written this all a little late at night so apologies if its a little non-sensical. rambly or completely missed something. If any of the brands/manufacturers or components I've chosen have any issues I should be aware of I'd appreciate the heads up.
Any help or advice is much appreciated. I'm happy to try answer any questions as best I can when I'm next awake. Thanks for any replies!

A thread for people to casually post their bets, discuss, ask questions, etc.

Food Club Resources

• Place Bets: http://www.neopets.com/pirates/foodclub.phtml?type=bet
• Collect Winnings: http://www.neopets.com/pirates/foodclub.phtml?type=collect
• Food Club Guide: http://www.neopets.com/~Jawsnapper0991
• Food Club stats (odds changes, food adjustments): https://foodclub.neocities.org/
  • Charity Corner 15-bet-perk-friendly url: https://foodclub.neocities.org/15/
• A bunch of Food Club bettors: http://www.neopets.com/~Hostia
• FAQs and resources: http://redd.it/74tdx3

Using Tables

diceroll123 speaking! I've made a simple userscript to turn your current bets into a formatted reddit table!
If you have Chrome: get Tampermonkey to use it! Greasemonkey for Firefox, and I'm unsure about other browsers.
Link for the userscript here: https://gist.github.com/diceroll123/04fb835539530038795e (Press the "Raw" button and it should ask you to add it to your collection of userscripts.)
You'll see a button under your current bets table, click that and copy/paste here.
shameless plug We've got a big fancy Food Club system in our Discord server, come check it out!

Check Post History for last update.
lil update: drilled on my spoiler, sideskirts and installed my spec d headlights myself and replaced the halogen bulbs. Really happy with it so far. Up next I'm going to paint my brake calipers orange and repaint my wheels, and I've heard really good things about adding bracing for the handling. https://tbperformanceproducts.com/products/scion-tc2011-2016-mid-chassis-brace

1. The corner lights on the headlights work for my turn signal, but the yellow signal lights under the light bar stopped working. I think it might be a blown fuse but I wanna know if anyone experienced the same thing with the Spec D's
2. ordered this front lip https://www.amazon.ca/11-13-Scion-Design-Bumper-Unpainted/dp/B00Q6EZCN4/ref=sr_1_7?crid=1B24XDOP6MPIV&keywords=scion+tc+bumper&qid=1686204129&sprefix=scion+tc%2Caps%2C191&sr=8-7&ufe=app_do%3Aamzn1.fos.71722c10-739d-471b-befb-3e4b9bf7d0d6

Should I drill the lip on with self-tapping screws or use nuts and bolts and take the bumper off? With some 3m on the top

1. Anyone buy this pedal commander and have things to say about it? Supposed to increase the low end torque which I think the car could really need. https://www.amazon.ca/Pedal-Commander-throttle-controller-Bluetooth/dp/B07D5LYQRB/ref=rvi_sccl_5/132-3921648-6493109?pd_rd_w=lZ4Ha&content-id=amzn1.sym.8b4d8c20-8e51-4634-a76f-c00a1995a502&pf_rd_p=8b4d8c20-8e51-4634-a76f-c00a1995a502&pf_rd_r=XQVYGKTES0RD3XR0ATEM&pd_rd_wg=z8R92&pd_rd_r=69577deb-e096-47c0-bd18-f701fbd95b2f&pd_rd_i=B07D5LYQRB&psc=1
   
2. repaint the wheels gloss or matte black?
   

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https://preview.redd.it/dz0z8oos4a5b1.jpg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3bafacc9f6da9fae735b00b8792f12401e04cea
https://preview.redd.it/qq4l6oos4a5b1.jpg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e2dd4a41ac2201679cfa63ef2f9b0effe05d942
https://preview.redd.it/0gme89cq4a5b1.jpg?width=1576&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2663014f2a1b2bf1c80c7e6f046eaf54332e83dc

I have a kia stinger and their website says the key fob uses 433.92 which i have set but i cant get it to work on read or read raw with any of the modulation choices(tried with binraw on each time). I can get flipper to clone the signal from my truck and it works once before the code rolls then i have to capture a new signal for it to work again and ive done that a couple times in a row but for some reason the fob isnt desynced.

Asking Price: $300
Timestamp and video of device function: Link
Prefer a local cash exchange in the Phoenix Arizona area, but will ship (buyer will be responsible for shipping cost)
Fanatec Clubsport Pedals V3 Purchased: 09/18/22 (From Fanatec) Original Cost: $432.15 Details: Used several times a week for 9 months without issue (aside from the load cell problem noted below) and only selling because I've upgraded to Heusinkveld Ultimate+. Cables, spare pedals, and spare springs included. Original box and spare mounting hardware not included. Swapped out the original aluminum heel plate screws for stainless steel versions because the originals are prone to stripping.
Fanatec Clubsport Pedals V3 Brake Performance Kit Purchased 09/28/22 (From Fanatec) Original Cost: $21.56 Details: Swapped in some harder elastomers for better brake feel. Original and remaining elastomers included.
Replacement Load cell Replaced: 02/18/23 (From Fanatec Support) Details: Load cell broke under heavy braking and snapped small arm on load cell unit. Submitted ticket and replacement unit was sent within a week. Replaced unit and have been using it since without issue.

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/ARXo59A
Hey all, Just clearing out some things to make space.

• Daniel Defense MK18 with Black MK18 Rail. Gas block has some scuffs around the crosspin, mainly cosmetic. Upper and Rail are in great condition with very minor salt. Includes DD BCG, standard CH, and A2 flash hider. Under 1K rounds on this.
• Asking $875 shipped/insured (deduct $150 if you don't want BCG/CH), pics: https://imgur.com/a/PuCDiEY
• BA 8.3 Hanson 300BLK Upper with Aero Upper, and Vltor Mlok 7" handguard. Only 20rds fired to test. Still looks pristine. Can include a thread protector or A2 FH if you wish. NO bcg/ch
• Asking $250 shipped/insured, pics: https://imgur.com/a/7afXe4v
• BCM MCMR 7", Lightly used, includes barrel nut, wrench, and all mounting hardware
• Asking $130 shipped/insured, pics: https://imgur.com/a/kPDSsbi
• Nightforce Ultramount 30MM in Dark Earth, 1.93" Height, Model A684, excellent condition, no salt to speak of,
• Asking $275 shipped/insured, pics: https://imgur.com/a/9lVYi0u

I feel peirce and blunt are OP. Seems slash is under used. Am I missing something?