Super buffet near me

I am currently employed by a bank that pays me $26 per hour with a $1,000 bonus for a year. Although the compensation is adequate, the only way to make significant money is through referrals. Surprisingly, I passed all my licenses in under six months but will only earn around $40k per annum. I hold a business degree and previously earned $60k as a manager before graduation. Despite the potential for growth and the current banking situation, I believe it is not logical to remain with the bank. Although I feel guilty about leaving, I have received offers for a field sales representative role paying around $75k plus bonuses ($30k), medical territory sales for $130k to $250k, and associate medical sales for $90k to $150k, which all offer schedule flexibility. As a nearly 40-year-old single mom, I am uncertain about investing years in the bank to make the same amount of money. I want to eliminate debt and live with dignity, so I am willing to stay with the bank only if I can make that amount soon. What would you suggest? Although there are opportunities here, my goal is to make a decent living as soon as possible. If there anyone from banking that can give me perspective about it that would be greatly appreciated as well, thank you.

I have a 2.5 year old male domestic shorthair who is neutered.
He will not eat, foams at his mouth when you come near him and has isolated himself. Bloodwork showed slight infection which he was treated for, x-rays and 3 physicals showed nothing. Diagnosis is stress. How can I take care of him and get him eating? 💔
Complete history:
My cat has never had any previous medical concerns. Ever since we got a new cat and renovated our home, his condition has deteriorated.
First he stopped meowing, I noticed he would excessively lick his lips. I took him to the vet who said he is fine maybe just stressed. They gave me stress medication. Then after the vets visit he stopped eating, I took him back in did bloodwork and x rays which showed no obstruction but just slightly elevated white-blood cells. He was dewormed, given appetite stimulants and antibiotics. His condition deteriorated over the next few days so I took him to an emergency room. They did some more bloodwork and assessments- they said it has to be stress. I was given yet another type of antibiotics and pills for nausea. When my cat came home, he was in even worse condition than before taking him to the vet. He will now hide under my bed and foam/drool and repeatedly lick his lips when I come near him
I am now scared to take him back to the vet. I feel like he is won’t survive another visit. I am trying to keep him comfy but he’s still not eating, he’s only drinking a little water. I am scared to force feed him too. I am worried sick about him to the point where I also barely feel like eating.

Hello folks, I remember in 1.2 some mods with farming robots - e.g. a building like a sunlamp with some farming drones or just simply automated sowing and harvesting in a radius around.
Also I vaguely remember the Vanille Expanded guys teasing a complex mechanoids mod with automated farming and milking and what not, but on Oskar's collection I can't find it.
But most important to me would be an autoharvester for animals. I have modded animals with expanded intelligence, hauling, cleaning, even mining. They roam around the map from one job to another and keeping them milked, sheared and trained is quite the hunt.But I do not want another piping solution that lumps all sorts of milk together. Simply a building, animal goes near, gets harvested, produce is dropped and can then be hauled. I am pretty sure something like that existed, but I can't remember it good enough to find it.

So it all started last week when I was over at his place but it was cold and I had only a really thin jean jacket with me so he let me borrow this specific jacket. It's not exactly a remarkable jacket, I mean it's very nice and has A LOT OF POCKETS but it's not like... a mink coat or something. It's just an oversized khaki jacket. He told me I can return it anytime.
But here's the problem, this jacket hides my gross shapes SO WELL and people keep telling me I look super masculine in it. You cannot tell I have disgusting wide hips or anything AT ALL. But I obviously have to give it back. If it was up to my bestie he'd probably gift it to me if he knew but I'd rather die than let him know. I just really wish I had more clothes like that jacket god damn it. I feel almost okay in it.

TL;DR at the bottom
For context, we're all teenagers and above age of consent. My partner and I have been together for about a year. About a few months ago, I had a guy, who was merely an acquaintance, talk with me and then talk with my partner and they became friends.
I have always been uncomfortable with their friendship given the first night over, they almost slept on the same bed and I threw a hissy fit, I figured it was just a cultural difference between me and my partner and they did not end up sleeping in the same bed. And they always go to sleepovers at one another, she just told me it was by constraint and I believe her, but I sure don't believe him.
My partner and I have not been on awesome terms lately. I broke up with her, begged her back and we've been together for a week before she broke up with me again. These breakups have for the same reason that I am not a very good partner, I reckon.
The weekend following said week, she just really needed someone to recover and heal, and guess who it was who had a sleepover at hers. They got super drunk and slept in the same bed.
And she told me that. The guy. Held her. Caressed her. Without her consent!
Upon waking up she kicked him out and everything. They've exchanged texts and he only apologised for saying "I am in love with you"... He did say that her not being friends with him would "kill" him. Like figuratively, but he is depressed (he told her) so...
Now we're back together but I'm very deceived at him for what happened, and so is she.
TL;DR Broke up with my partner, her friend took advantage of that and during her sleep held and caressed her without her consent.
Without being the possessive partner (that I am and that she doesn't let me be and that I am trying to not become), what could I have done better?
She wants to forget and did not tell her parents about it, what can I ask her to do? I don't want to force her to tell her parents but I did insist...

So I’m 28 and I’ve been doing delivery work to make ends meet while I try to make music. Pretty much a starving artist at this point but I’m happy at least trying to follow my dreams. I had a shop and deliver I was working on yesterday and one order was really small it was just some eggs and other breakfast foods. When I went to drop the order off it was at an address near the college town but I figured it wouldn’t be too rowdy given the contents of the order.
When I set the order down on the step and went to take a picture I accidentally dropped one of the bags which didn’t have the eggs btw, 2 guys came out with phones in hand recording and started talking shit to me. I didn’t know what to do so I just apologized and started to walk back. These fuckers threw a fucking egg at my back as I was walking and I wasn’t about to try and get my ass kicked so I took off running. I lost my balance and slipped on the wet grass, which sent them into an uproar and of course they’re sitting there filming me telling me how useless I am and that I’m a loser because I can’t even do this job right. I usually have thick skin but that got to me and I started to cry. To top this off one of the girls at the house comes out and cracks an egg over my back as I’m trying to get up and they act like they’re about to grab more but decide I’ve had enough. I couldn’t even finish out the day I just came home this shit just sucks.

It's been a damn long while since I have been able to invest myself into my gaming. For the last few years I was dealing with stuff that kept me from really enjoying it or straight not being able to. I got back on my systems recently and cleaned house on my friends lists. Nobdoy's gotten online in a super long time or I never really played or talked with them to begin with.
I've got GamePass for my Xbox One and a couple games for the PS5 and more for the PS4 and as for my Switch, well, it's a Pokémon machine. There's also our Meta Quest 2. No PC to speak of.
Besides that I also love tabletop games, and if someone's interested in playing Magic Arena or Pokémon TCG Online I'm all for that as well. I got my iPad for that.
Along the lines of tabletop games, I got some Warhammer 40K and Star Wars Legion miniatures I need to paint, and I wish I had more people to show off for.
Well, I've been playing more Hogwarts Legacy while I wait for RE4 to come out this weekend. Hit me up if you if want to see how we get along.

So there’s this girl, she is super nice and like one of my best friends. But here’s the thing, she’s my teacher. Before you get like weirded out or something I’m a senior and she is a fairly young teacher and she is in no way showing interest towards me. But I really like her and I don’t even know if she’s fruity and I certainly don’t think she’d ever go for me given that she is a teacher and I am her student. (even if I won’t be for long) And I just really don’t know what to do about it. Like I’ve tried to deny the feelings or drop it but you know how that works. Obviously there’s no way I can tell her how I feel and I don’t have the confidence to talk to any of my friends about it because I’m afraid they’ll think I’m weird. But idk, I really need help……

I’ve been cheated on a lot in the past and for this I developed a huge anxiety towards being cheated on. I recently got into a relationship and I was like hey, there’s a famous type of black magic in my country why not try it out. I don’t believe in magic or any of that stuff, but I gave it a go anyway just for experimentation.
A few weeks ago I contacted one of the most trusted experts in this type of things and bought a service, apparently it makes women find him unattractive. The day after the ritual, my boyfriend became super moody and kept asking for reassurance. He was super grumpy for a few days, even almost broke up with me and immediately apologised and said he just felt insecure. He’s been talking to me a lot more and asking for constant reassurance ever since. It’s weird, I don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t know if I believe in this stuff still but that experience creeped me out a little. I also feel a little crazy but it’s all for science amirite?

We might be relocating within NTX in the next few years, so doing some research. What are some of the best regions where you can have country living near a city/town with decent amenities etc? Where people have the "best of both worlds" per se. I know that the perfect location doesn't exist, so I'm aiming for a good overlap between country living, lower crime, good amenities, non-crippling property taxes, balanced or conservative county, where you can hopefully shoot and hunt your own land, non-abysmal hospitals/healthcare, and bottom half options tornado-warning wise.
Out of the entire radius, I'm only familiar with the northwest quadrant (Southlake, Roanoke, Rhome, Decatur, Bridgeport, Loving etc) so feel free to draw parallels.
This website "area vibes" ranks certain smaller cities pretty well (Weatherford, Justin, Haslet) but idk how accurate this website is. If you know of other websites, please let me know.
I've tried it on Dallas, they told me I can't be asking moving questions there, that I should ask it on AskDFW, and AskDFW told me they are metroplex only, can't include country NTX, so here I am lol
Thank you!

*** ALL SPOILERS ALLOWED ***
I am reading through the books for the second time and have just started Caliban's War (Yay! I remember this one being amazing)
One of the details that really pops out at me in the books compared to the TV show is the description of Belters. They are much taller than Earthers, and they have larger heads, all from a childhood in a low or null gravity environment.
Leviathan Wakes tells us that Naomi is a head taller than Jim. Ditto for Miller when compared to the righteous Earther. So, while I'm reading, I imagine that difference in height whenever the characters are in the same room.
That obviously is not the case with the TV show. While I understand the showrunners' reasons for not trying to make Belters look like they do in the books, I can't help but wonder if it can be done.
The main reason I would like to see this portrayed onscreen (besides my belief that source material should always be respected) is because of the importance of Belter physique when it comes to the story. You can begin to see the reasons why they are treated so badly by the Inners. It's a modern (200 years from now) version of racism. It helps the audience understand why the Earthers look down upon Belters. It's a fantastic parallel to real life and the racism we see today.
Let me give you a personal example. I grew up in Eastern Europe in a country where you will rarely see people of African descent, especially if you live far from the capital like I did. My family was given an opportunity to move to the US for work in the late 90s. I was just about 7 years old. I had never seen anyone in my life who wasn't of either Slavic, Azerbaijani, Georgian, Uzbek, Kazhazh, etc (I think you get the point) descent. However, when I moved to the US, it wasn't long until I saw black (African descent) people for the first time. What do you imagine went through my mind at first? They were so different in the way they looked when compared to me, my family, and anyone I'd ever known. It shocked me to the point that for the first weeks after becoming an immigrant, I had thoughts and feelings that I think can be classified as racist. I say I "think" because I don't remember feeling any hatred, but rather fear of the unknown and total ignorance of who they are. Despite the lack of hatred, it feels immoral when I remember how I felt. That being said, it didn't take long for those feelings to vanish. How? Well ... I went to school and got a chance to talk and interact with the people I considered so different from me. In no time at all, I got past any and all prejudices as I realized these people are just like me on the inside, meaning there was no logical reason to have any negative feelings. I soon became friends with several black students. Today, my best friend happens to be black. The difference in skin color makes no difference to us. We're good friends and are very comfortable discussing any topics, including race and injustice. Since that experience in childhood, I have had a strong dislike towards racists because it makes no sense to treat people differently based on something they did not choose. But I also understand how it happens to people, and what they need to do to get past it.
That's exactly what we see in The Expanse. Most Earthers had never seen a Belter in person. They had never spoken to one. They had never worked together. Just like the young me in Eastern Europe in the 90s when it came to people of African descent. All they think about is what they see, which is a person who looks completely different. If they could just speak to one another, they would realize they have more in common than they think.
We all have our own understanding of what it means to be normal, usually based on what we experienced in childhood. When we see someone who doesn't look like what we're familiar with, we start to make hasty, fearful, and irrational assumptions. Due to our fear of the unknown, we assume that the "different" people don't share our values and morals, meaning they might be a threat. Rubbish.
The differences between Earthers and Belters are so much more prevalent than the differences between races on Earth today. That is why the racism in The Expanse is so realistic and helps to explain why the situation in the Belt is so dire for so many. It's easy for Earthers to see Belters as "not human" and justify their cruelty towards them. Not only is it realistic, but the racism towards Belters is a key part of the story throughout the books.
Now back to the show. Belters are usually shown to have tatoos, have hair that stands up, and shaved sides of their heads. They also have their own language. That does make the audience see a difference, but it's nowhere near the difference described in the books. In fact, there are many scenes in the show where you cannot tell if someone where someone is from. E.g. Doris, Prax's friend in Season 2, who stayed with the injured botanist after the first battle of Ganymede. I assumed she was a Belter until she said "I'm going back to Mars. I still have family there." She was also spaced with the rest of the Inners who were onboard the refugee ship. So ... apparently she's Martian. I had no idea because she doesn't look any different from Prax, who's only Belter characteristic is his hairstyle.
Overall, I feel like the show is missing a key component of the story by not having the Belters share the physique of their book counterparts.
I'm curious to hear from others on whether or not you would try to make Belters realistic on-screen and also how it would be done. CGI? Prosthetics? Any other techniques?
Thank you for reading. I hope this opens up a good discussion. Have a wonderful day!
TLDR - Belter physique is vital because it helps explain why they're so oppressed by Earth. It's the same racism we've always seen. The show lacks this element. Would you change this and how?
Tenye discussion gut, beratnas!

I'll try to explain myself succinctly here. I am almost 40 years old and have a female best/close friend of nearly 20 years. Our relationship ebbs and flows. She is not very observant of her surroundings. She doesn't really have a good sense of perception when it comes to people. She's an airhead and very one track minded when there is stress in her life. She recently discovered/realized/figured out (I don't even know how to explain it) that I, as a gay male, have different social and friendship dynamics with other groups of people than I do with her. Upon her realization of this, she is highly offended and went as far as to question my authenticity in our friendship.
I have 3 social circles, for lack of a better explanation.

1. Her, her husband, and some mutual friends/acquaintances in the peripheral. I'm not necessarily that intimately close to anyone in this group other than her. This female friend and I, as close as we are, never talk about anything 'gay', about sex, intimate topics, etc.
2. A gay couple. We travel together, hang out quite often, Sunday afternoon hangs are kind of our thing. I'm an open book with these guys. We talk about everything, sex, life, relationships, finances, etc.
3. A group of about 6-8 gay men that I would not consider best friends, but they are pretty close to it.

All three of these different groups have a different dynamic. I share different things, we have differing levels of conversation and differing levels of details that we share with each other. To save a long story, apparently she's adament this is not normal and all of your friends should get the same version of 'you' that anyone else gets? I vehemently disagree and I think she is out of line in her anger towards me. If the tables were turned I can guarantee with 10000% certainty that she does not share the same things with me as she does her girlfriends. And that is perfectly acceptable to me. I thought my situation was pretty normal. Different friends have different dynamics. According to her that is simply not how it works. Her being her, has herself so worked up about this that I can't even talk to her because she's being so irrational. My other best friend (one of the gay couple) thinks she is just jealous that there are other people she perceives closer to me than she is. She is a very jealous person so there is some relevance there.
Especially as we age I think it's totally normal. There is nothing inauthentic about who I am to certain people, however I do share different things with different groups. Am I that off base here? I hate to trash a nearly 20 year friendship but I am losing my patience with this one.

I was recently promoted to a very high stress job and no time at all for a personal life. I need a way to release this tension/stress and would like to see if there are any younger women, especially subs, that would like to be used for stress relief and freeuse on a regulaweekly basis. Very interested in an on-call dynamic that involves using you as a fleshlight or cumdump whenever we meet. Open to all kinds of scenarios. Women only please 18+. If you’re submissive/kinky that would be a huge plus.
About me: I’m a 37M, fit, attractive, living near NYC. Can’t host but able to travel to you or use a hotel or my office for our fun. Message to exchange pics and talk more. Looking for IRL only.

Hi everyone! I just adopted my first dog of my own last week. She is a boykin spaniel and is about 10 weeks old. I am in graduate school and have classes from around 8/9 am-12pm every day. She has been crated when I am attending class and when I get home I start the classic puppy schedule of outside, play, nap, outside, play, nap as much as my schedule can accommodate. There are times she also has to be crated in the afternoons so I can workout or run errands quickly. She cries a little bit in the crate but seems to be ok after a bit according to the camera I have set up. I just ordered a pen for her to go in and am excited to see how she likes that because she has been jumping the shorter gate I originally started with whenever I go on the other side of it.
My main question is: do i enforce her napping in her crate/pen or allow her to nap on the couch/in her bed on floor near me when i am home? and should i keep her crate in my bedroom at night time or place it outside?
I am concerned I am not letting her take advantage of when I am actually home, but I do want her to have some sort of routine and that's why I am not sure if locking her in her crate/pen or having her sleep away from me even when I am home is fair to her. Thanks everyone!!
ALSO: she freaks out when i shower any advice for that bc i would hate to crate her and have her cry while i do that as well

Ok couple notes: 1.) I will be discussing specific calorie values in this post 2.) yes I realize there is restricting more vs. less 3.) weight loss is NOT a criteria for having a serious ED (and, imo, should not be required for an AN diagnosis) 4.) different bodies, different responses and needs to different calorie intakes.
this is definitely kind of a rant lmao, but fr I think the phrase "high res" is super harmful and also misleading.
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So I recently saw someone use the phrase "high res" on insta and I NAIVELY thought "oh maybe they're referring to mental restriction while eating adequate calories or smth"...nope! This person was talking about 1200 cal/day. I think it is INCREDIBLY harmful to paint this as "restricting lite" because restriction can be dangerous at many caloric amounts. Different bodies, activity levels, basal metabolisms, health conditions, etc. mean different nutritional needs - there's no singular amount of calories that can be use as a cutoff for restricting. Painting some arbitrary calorie limit as "high res" just generates a sense of shame/need to eat even less. And like hey, if you've restricted more in the past and youre increasing your intake now, awesome! but oh my GOD don't pretend that your restriction is suddenly "sooo much food" in a way that could so clearly induce shame in other people?? save those thoughts for private journals and your therapist jfc.
On that note, I have had AN for 12 years. I became medically unstable twice, once while eating an average of ~1400 calories/day and another time while averaging ~1700 calories/day. I was not purging either time; my instability was exclusively related to restriction. I won't tell you the least I ever ate bc I don't think that's useful information, but I will say that there were at least as many days where I ate 2000+ calories as there were days I ate under these approximate averages, and most of the time I ate around these values. I have met individuals with restrictive EDs, strong food rituals, and exercise addiction who became underweight while eating 2500+ calories per days (among many other health problems). And I don't think myself or these others are strange outliers; in fact, multiple studies document underweight AN patients consuming 1500-1800 cal/day (link; link). And why should this be shocking when most ppl (myself included) maintain weight between 2500 and 3500 cal/day?? Like of COURSE you could lose weight restricting to 1800 at that point???
Besides invalidating people and encouraging decreased intake with harmful effects, I think calling 1200+ calories a day "high res" also feeds into really dangerous stereotypes about this disease. The world is, by and large, sooo disconnected from knowing how many calories people actually need per day that me saying "oh I eat 1600 calories/day" to many people wouldn't read as problematic when it definitely should be. And the AN stereotype of like, one apple and a black coffee isn't helping this at all. ugh ok this is my rant byeee

Hey, I’m a senior going into a masters program and have accepted an internship I didn’t think I’d be able to fit into my academic schedule. It’s not in Columbia so…
I’m looking for someone to sublease my apartment at district flats to for JUNE AND JULY 2023. My lease also has the option of PARKING in the ATTACHED apartment garage. So no walking blocks downtown at night (: . I only have one roommate, and they’re super chill, don’t make much noise, and tbh stays in their room 95% of the time except to cook.
If you or anyone you know might be interested let me know. I’d appreciate it!

I know many people have recently purchased Costco’s 5 pc mini tins for a steal of a deal at $30. However today I opened what is very likely a tampered with item. Please continue reading for explanation.
I purchased 4 of these, opened 2, got some OK hits. Here’s where it gets interesting. I open up the third, notice the mini tins did not have the same wrap around the tin with the zipped easy removal seal. Thought it was just some manufacturing difference.
5 Brilliant Stars 5 Astral Radiance
8 White code cards 2 Black code cards 0 hits
Now I’m not typically super skeptical, hey it’s an official retailer and I opened up 2 boxes before and nothing was off, no biggie just outta luck. That was until both black code cards had no holo with them. Multiple code cards were flipped. A pack even didn’t have a reverse holographic. I did not record the unboxing, as I have no reason to at the time. Something to note would be that one of the boxes had a 1-2 inch rip in it, chose to purchase it since my friend joked the Charizard was trying to escape out. Choose to believe me or not, I stand to gain nothing by lying about this. Curious if any one else has had the same experience. My theory is just some QC horror story, or more likely someone purchased and resealed packs. Also got like 4 VSTAR marker cards which was quite odd considering how many I usually get.

TLDR, my unconscious has become conscious, therapy failed but I'm kicking trauma butt generationally, yet I'm still so broken. Is there a version of talk therapy that would help me and my daughter?
I (M40+) have CPTSD, 2months premie, no touch for 8 weeks in an incubator, sick brother who passed away from 2-6. Violent childhood “you should have died instead of ” beatings, homeless teen 30+ PTSDs, no education past 16. Turned my life around at 21, successful adult working just below C-Level in large MMCs, lived in a couple of different countries, still don’t own a house but who can these days if you live in a major city.
Therapy of 5 years went wrong for me 1 1/2 years ago. We had a rupture and she told me she felt a deep love for me, she thought our inner childs connected, Im one of her favourite client, always in her head, she always envisioned she would ask me to be friends 2 years from when she retired or I finished treatment, if I left she would be devastated and need therapy herself. 100% invested in me and my daughters outcome.
I ran, that’s terrifying to me… not aware I was attached and it ripped all my repressed trauma out and I started to have nonstop flashbacks from when I was 18months old to 21. I went back asking what the hell is happening help! but she made mistake after mistake desperately trying to salvage and repair but my trauma just consumed us e.g. complimenting my inner child and angering my protector parts as she wasn’t safe, poking a flashback instead of grounding, she started to be in my trauma nightmares, I ended up burning the relationship to prevent me from keep going back and she probably should have terminated/transferred me out long before that point as it always made me worse if I tried to re-engage with her. I was stuck in flashbacks for a year, my log comes to approx 69,700 flashbacks, it was rough and terrifying. Private Hospitals turned me away, 80% of therapist will not touch me, the few that would had no idea how to help get me out of that state. My daughters attachment completely shutdown from the way I was neglecting her from being so nonfunctional and broken.
I used to be bitter at the lack of accountability and how the industry turned away, apparently it as my attachment that played out… A hospital even said “We have seen this a few times, its sad when this happens but imagine what it would be like for the other patients, hear how you talk, everything you learnt, all your work and yet this can happen, what would it do to them?” I felt like the industries dirty secret.
This isn’t an anti therapy post though. I'm glad it went wrong as I wouldn’t have been able to do what I did with my daughter’s challenges. I just don’t know what to do next and want to see if anyone has any ideas or resource materials that might help?
I found Dr Dan Browns 3 pillaPerfect Parent work via a podcast: therapy uncensored TU87 complex trauma and attachment. It taught me that CPTSD is a disorganised attachment with trauma on top… heal the attachment then the trauma can clear without much work, or you can then clear it relationally… It made me realize I gave my daughter a disorganised attachment, her fear of my voice/face expression is the fear of us rupturing from my triggers and me withdrawing, dissociating instead of watching over her from the pain my love for her brings me. A separation incident when she was 2 her first “PTSD”, (who am I kidding, Im probably PTSD 1-10). We thought she was HSP, intense from birth, smart, deep, very verbal… She has just been diagnosed ASD1, her behviours only really kicked off after the separation incident and got worse as I got worse. I figured I have to get myself out of the flashbacks, I can’t give up as that would be another PTSD for her… I have to heal our attachment to heal her challenges. In my hardest night as a teen, my 16 year old self swore if he ever had a child they would never feel what he did and yet I had failed this badly? It might be ASD but Im going to visit the elephant in the room… Im going to call it pre-verbal PTSDs/sensory overloads, developmental and attachment trauma all from me that is probably implicit memories now… She has CPTSD if Dan Browns view is right and developing in constant flight/flight would present as autism from the sensory overload.
I ended up creating my own therapy modality for when therapy goes wrong. I work in an industry where if things go wrong we fix it and then spread awareness, if Dan Brown knew why therapy goes wrong for some or makes them feel worse and had a solution, the signs of too much trauma and disassociation, why does the industry not know and try to fix that failure rate? Just look at therapyabuse, its all attachment trauma, BDP/CPTSD. I can’t be angry at my ex-therapist when she was doing what she taught and was setup for failure - Trauma informed would make me worse due to my sensory and trauma profile.
It worked, my approach stopped my flashbacks, I then adapted it for my daughter. Heal her attachment and her trauma will pass. As I was reading more psych stuff, scraping university’s for learning materials and reading books to understand therapy, the process, what it should have been, I came across Aletha Solters developmental psych work… This women is a child whisperer. Her books tears and tantrums, attachment play and healing your traumatised child are incredible, it was all the missing pieces of my kids behavior. Bruce Perrys work and the concept of a child not being able to get themselves out of the trauma brain stem… My wife was stressed by my first few flashbacks when she was pregnant. Our kid was 4+Kg and we are small… All early signs we were unaware of and not getting picked up by the health industry, GPs should have a checklist our family situation is so textbook its tragic.
I took my kid to the beach and we went in the cold sea for cold therapy, use our reflexes if we can’t do it together naturally: shocking us both back into the parasympathetic nervous system, I did this a few times every couple of days, it also matches the concept of the intensity of the play should be close to the trauma that Aletha writes about. Me holding her as she can’t swim bringing her arousal up and down via cold temp and keeping her safe (She loved putting her private parts under the cold tap which gave me that idea! Very Freudian her parts knew what she needed, my version of IFS, I listened to your sensory parts as senses comes before emotion, that is how stupid I went with therapy concepts, joking around and doing the opposite). I got her OT to train to do Proges Safe and Sound protocol, hit the polyvagal nerve too (I wasn’t going to rely on just one approach). I then used attachment concepts and Aletha’s Attachment Play concepts to be the perfect parent as per Dan Browns approach, as I can’t teach my kid to visualize yet. I need to be that parent. I’ve built a plan up until 12 for a child 3 pillar approach, teaching her meta cognitive awareness and more explore/group activities to heal her attachment wounds and feel more safe with people.
Here is an example, my daughters ASD food sensitivity behaviour: treat it as a pre-verbal “trauma/stress” that was some how caused by me (I rushed her one time and playing over sad another time that she didn’t like a new dish I made… she is that empathic and sensitive…) I noticed she was activated in a flight fight by the way she was moving her body and lips like I would when I struggle to eat feeling sick when triggered and figured of course you wouldn’t want to eat in the mode, I asked to leave the room to make her feel safe, let her know I wasn’t angry at her. My wife attuned to her fear and made her feel safe, set the boundary that we can’t cook something else and then gave her the choice to eat it on her own or be spoon fed like a baby but Mum will pretend to be a robot to feed her… Aletha’s concept of regression play to heal … they laughed together though the meal. Afterwards I come back and ask if I can do that with her next time. She laughs and says yes but you have to pretend to throw food in my face if Im too slow (One of my concepts is that people hide insecurities in humour… ) It worked, she asked to do it again every now and then if she struggles as she might not be sure if she likes a dish, sometimes she likes it sometimes she just gives it a go and leaves a bit but its laughter between us all then the next time she eats the dish on her own if she liked it.
She started to ask to play hide and seek outside, in groups of people, in supermarkets, taking it more and more extreme healing her own separation trauma. She asks for pillow fights with me, building games with all the concepts Aletha writes, it so profound to witness… Its textbook, my daughrer hasnt read the book but she is asking to play the exact games written in the book for each challenge. We can watch other kids and see the same in them. She started a new school and just walked in from the car with no tears on day 2, didn’t even need a teacher. Pre-December she used to cry up until I passed her to the teacher for handover.
We played hide and seek for a year in OT but nothing changed. It wasn’t until my idea to get her out of the trauma brain stem did we see the shift, she no longer loops over fears, her attachment system opened up and made friends. She stopped grinding her teeth in her sleep. Now she acts like a sensitive anxious kid and people don’t believe us if we tell them she has ASD. My wife cried at what I had achieved last year but at the same time says she feels disgust that she loves me and had a kid with me. That me being me broke our daughter.
The therapists Ive tried to see just say I’m intimidating, the self awareness and the amount I have read this year, how does your brain even put that together, there is too much going on in there. I take them through every concept that impacted me growing up my modality and approaches. The way I mashed up lots of concepts, natural reflexes/Wim Hoff/Porges/IFS/Dan Browns/Love Languages/Alteha’s into a healing force. How I used symbolic play to heal my therapy trauma via my complaint that I never bothered submitting like a silly man child. I feel like none of them can help though. I need someone that can help build practical interventions for the challenges based off the psych concept at play or guide me to them. Not just talking about the problems, if I had reframed and listened that I was doing enough, there is no such thing as disorganised in a child, its just 33% of the time you have to get it right, its not me, its never the parents etc my child would be way down the spectrum with a closed attachment system. Therapist also don’t give advice… e.g. My child hid pain… No one could help figure out what to do… It was poor Interoceptive awareness plus the fear of showing negative emotions. e.g. a parent hitting a wall whilst holding their baby and pretending the baby is hurt then the baby starts to cry but in reverse. She is too shocked by the external impact to process it so shutdowns. I used DBT concept, a whiteboard to draw out what just happened, describe what she might be feeling but visually, bringing her back into awareness… She cried! She now scolds me if she hurts herself as somehow its my fault as it makes her feel safe to cry straight away. Now it is just me holding that anger at me, accepting it and then gently DBTing describing her experience to help her process what really happened in the moment. Building that trust and safety back.
An example for how I treat myself now. I lost my hearing in Feb, Nerusensori hearing loss, it came back and sound hurt like knifes digging in my ears. Loud noises left me in agony for 2-3 days. The Drs went be glad your hearing is back, get therapy for the life adjustments… You read of people close to suicide, relationships ruined by this condition. My daughter started to regress as I withdrew, her laughter hurting my ears too much. (Pretty cruel after a year of flashback to get a setback like that)
So I treated it like the trauma it was… I went and did cold therapy for me(I have other tricks for getting out of the trauma response, people reading this please don’t throw yourself in the sea or your autistic kids either), dive in the sea and screamed a rude word every couple of days, I figured I can’t get myself out of the brain stem too and this was really traumatic. Remedial massages to loosen the muscles around the ear that would have tensed up in the trauma guarding response. That would be pinching the ear nerve making the muscle tense stuck in a loop… Acupuncture as that is better than massages and a lesson in mindfulness to relax else it hurts more and then the Watson headache technique to loosen up C1/C2 that would also be upsetting the brainstem by the muscles all tightening up…. It worked, in 5 days hearing stopped hurting, then I went and got a muscle relaxer from the GP which took all the remaining pain away and went out forcing myself to go hear loud noises in the city and heal the trauma response that had started to happen from the fear of the pain. Trauma doesnt seem to stick anymore, I have a slightly stronger base.
I don’t dissociate anymore, when I struggle I visualise the energy in my nervous system as what some people would call your spirit but in the form of a flame, mine is strong but burns red (anger), green, orange, giving off toxic smoke, sometimes gasping its last breath other time roaring out hurting people around it, no matter how hard Im trying its hurting the flames around it, suffocating them too. I have to hold my flame in love, pure and white, strong but not too intense, the white light people say they see is just someone achieving non-duality with the collective conscious, the energy within us all etc. I picture the moment with my ex-therapist, the safety, attunement, the moment of profound deep love between us (it wasn’t sexual just a deep human connection, I prefer the label kindred spirits). That is my calm base what I am taking from the relationship and integrating, the rest I am letting go of. I find that space within me and then I bring the love I have for my daughter into that space, the first 4 months oxycontin feeling. I give that to myself then I roar my spirit/flame in delight.. upwards, not grounding for coming up with this nonsense. I then bring the disregulation back and hold it in that love and delight like a parent would to their baby in the first few months. After a while the disregulation passes and then I ground myself briefly… My daughter taught me that. “Sometimes its good to have quiet play but other times I need to let the energy out”. Like “circle of security” you should always end any trauma work in delight.
I hold my daughters disregulation and the way it triggers me the same way. The disgust in myself for how I failed so badly that makes me lash out in frustration, how that disgust brings onion layers of my own traumas to the surface that I hold in that flame meditation in the moment of trying to sooth us both. I do things like swimming in a cold pool with her so I have to watch her nonstop as she is learning and she can delight as she sees me watching her nonstop plus the top up of cold therapy just in case. Go jump together in a trampoline park (its a way kids regulate and I need it too!), finding activities together that take my weaknesses and make them strengths. Sit on an exercise ball so I can bounce and rock when I watch over her play to keep me present, I almost fall off if I go too much in my head and it brings me back.
I’m going to be her earned secure attachment and she will heal and her sensitivity will be her strength too like they are mine, they say trauma changes your DNA, humans don’t change for it to be a curse, it’s the source of healing.
The thing is… Im still so broken, its been 4 months since I stopped the flashbacks, my nervous system is so fragile, it still has a feather trigger for disregulation, worse than it was before the rupture. Every day is the same activation in the morning that I have to work through or family ruptures/life stresses, my kid is scared of my voice, I can’t not instruct/parent her and have no idea how to really heal that last part, its the old 80/20 rule, its the hard part now. My brain has been problem solving to get out of a life or death situation for so long. I know Ive done it, Ive created a space for my daughter to heal, its just time now, probably for me too, practicing with her will help me heal my nervous system. It just can’t switch off.
I miss my ex-therapist so much. We both said ”its the relationship I needed not the therapy I needed”. My inner child yearns so badly for that safety and attunement, to hear her voice or laugh, her offer of friendship. I wish she kept that to herself as I never thought about that stuff. My protector kicks the inner child in the nuts when he thinks about it, its frowned upon for a reason. You have to learn about separation and endings as part of attachment healing and integration of relationships. It took 4 years to get attached. To even try again with a therapist seems pointless, I’m even less trusting but I need help. That homeless 16 year old that did it himself, he isn’t better off alone… He needs someone to guide him through the chaos so he can go back to being the child he didn’t get to be… The one challenge with doing Dan Browns perfect parent metallisation is “how do you give yourself something you didn’t get, what is that like to experience?” How can I tell myself “I am enough” when I broke my kid and my wife hurts so much from just being near me when Ive been trying so hard? Its a DBT dialect , I am more than enough yet I am not enough. There is only one place that does IPF work in this country and they are in a different state.
If talk/relational therapy would take 4+ years to get attached again and its so hard to find someone due to my situation. What next for me, is there a different type of therapy I should look for? I need relational therapy that helps problem solve and someone wiling to intellectually masturbate this nonsense with me and come up with approaches for my kid. e.g. draw her morning tasks and I’ll just point at them so I don’t have to use my voice to give her instructions causing a meltdown in the morning if she is slow… (a concept from How to talk to kids book but using drawings as she is 5). Any good resources or material I should read?
Now for my stupid theory that I cant see why it upsets people for some reason. What are your thoughts? If some people view CPTSD and BPD as pretty much the same thing just different flavors of trauma... In my daughters case and possibly mine... a highly functioning presentation of ASD or extreme HSP is a presentation of CPTSD where there was a failure to attach before 4 months old, more pre-verbal stuff. (Ive found a few of us with this profile - see Immi [email protected] eggshelltherapy.com, there are types!)
ASD - some one joked your level of diagnoses depends on how much your behaviors annoy your parents
BDP - a diagnoses that depends on how much your behaviors annoy your therapist
Does that mean girls who are over diagnosed with BDP and under diagnosed with ASD are actually an overlap who's sensitivity to trauma and intensity is being mis-diagnosed?

When you finish a raid via exfil for death the game just crashes, item will just randomly disappear for me all my backpacks, armour, mags and knifes have just disappeared, during a raid I cannot grab my backpack leading to the loot in it being useless and just free loot for anyone who kills me, the graphics are nearly as bad as the walking dead saints and sinners chapter 2 and there is the occasional freeze or performance spike which leads to me getting killed and even the dlc that people spent their money on isn't even available also if you leave something on the floor when you exit the room where you receive your bought good they just vanish into thin air. I myself spent money on this game and I wish it would just work for christ sake is it so much to ask for a functional game these days.

Summary of issue: Specific games crash while others are fine after upgrading mb, cpu, and gpu. There are no errors in game logs or event viewer after the crash and there are no blue screens ever. POE, BL3, and DOS2 all crash consistently. Currently testing with DOS2. The game runs fine sitting still but once you start moving around within 10 minutes it will crash consistently.
What I have tried (no particular order): - Reinstalled Windows - Installed Linux (same issue persisted for games that supported Linux) - Updated all drivers, firmware, and BIOS as of today - Cinebench completes on single and multi core tests without issue - Games like Doom Eternal, PUBG, and Warzone work just fine - Ran sfc and chkdsk tools - Ran HWinfo64 while performing stress tasks and gameplay, temps never rose above 85c under load - Did the same with Ryzen Master open, same results. Worth noting that PPT was pegged at 100% of 76W during stress testing in cinebench and prime95. Cinebench also pegged EDC(CPU) at 100% of 90A. - Game files validated through Steam - Swapped RAM to the below Corsair Vengeance Pro sticks from HyperX Fury 16GB (2x8GB) DDR4 2133MHz sticks - Turned off Simultaneous Multithreading from Ryzen Master and was able to play longer, but ultimately crashed (this has been turned back on since that test) - Playing POE with multithreading off allowed much longer play and often times without a crash. Other games don't have that option and I'd rather not if I can avoid it anyway. - Tried A-XMP profile on and off - Tried PBO through Ryzen Master, cinebench still worked but just hotter and games that crashed still crashed - Tried Curve optimizer to no avail - Reset CMOS, same results - Installed Prime95 and finally got an error that no other stress test gave me (screenshots included of test settings and error)
System Specifications:

• Operating System: Windows 11 22H2, OS Build 22621.1413
• CPU: AMD Ryzen 5 5600X (no overclock)
• GPU: MSI RTX 3060 Gaming X 12G OC (no manual overclock, default out of the box)
• Motherboard: MSI B550 Gaming Plus (latest BIOS)
• RAM: 32GB (2x16GB) Corsair Vengeance Pro DDR4-3200MHz C16 (XMP off)
• PSU: EVGA SuperNOVA 650W GS 80+ Gold

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Prime95 Worker #5 Fails consistently pretty quickly with the following on the Small FFTs test. Rounding was 4 before the CMOS reset (this turned off XMP). I did the Smallest FFTs test with a similar failure.
[Mar 21 16:20] Worker starting
[Mar 21 16:20] Beginning a continuous torture test on your computer.
[Mar 21 16:20] Please read stress.txt. Choose Test/Stop to end this test.
[Mar 21 16:20] Test 1 (thread 2 of 2), 220000 Lucas-Lehmer in-place iterations of M1633941 using FMA3 FFT length 80K, Pass1=320, Pass2=256, clm=2.
[Mar 21 16:20] Test 1 (thread 1 of 2), 220000 Lucas-Lehmer in-place iterations of M1633941 using FMA3 FFT length 80K, Pass1=320, Pass2=256, clm=2.
[Mar 21 16:20] FATAL ERROR: Rounding was 1, expected less than 0.4
[Mar 21 16:20] Hardware failure detected running 80K FFT size, consult stress.txt file.
[Mar 21 16:20] FATAL ERROR: Rounding was 1, expected less than 0.4
[Mar 21 16:20] Hardware failure detected running 80K FFT size, consult stress.txt file.
[Mar 21 16:20] Torture Test completed 0 tests in 0 minutes - 2 errors, 0 warnings.
[Mar 21 16:20] Worker stopped.