The Stay On Main hotel, referred to by its former title of the Cecil, stood tall before me. Its brown brick front loomed. I walked through the main entranceway with my suitcase in hand.
I made my way into the empty lobby and approached the front desk. The inside had glossy black and white tile flooring. Stanchions with red ropes led to the check-in counter.
The clerk looked up at me from his phone with a side-eyed glance. He had wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. He resembled a surfer more than he did a night manager.
“I’m looking to stay here for a week,” I said as I handed him a wad of cash.
“This is an affordable housing unit for the homeless,” he said. “You’re well dressed and have an Irish accent. I’m guessing you’re a journalist or documentary filmmaker. Either way, it wouldn’t feel right to let you stay here when you can afford somewhere else. You’d be taking up space someone of greater need could use.”
“This should erase guilt,” I said as I handed him another stack of hundreds.
The man accepted the bribe and stuffed it in his shirt pocket. He then slid a room key over to me after I gave him a false name and a credit card that did not belong to me. He mentioned the complimentary breakfast available in the morning.
“I’m Scottish by the way,” I corrected him as I made my way onto the elevator.
There were fifteen floors and my room was on the fifth. I pressed the button. The sounds of the creaking wires holding the platform stable reverberated above.
It dinged and let me off. I went down the hallway, which had wooden ground and drab white-painted walls.
I entered my room and saw it was not much better than the corridor. There were a few places I had stayed at with my wife around Loch Lomond far above such a decrepit den as this.
The first thing I saw was the view of skid row outside. Its wandering figures resembled the madhouse painting by Goya. Street lights, neon, and litter were everywhere.
The desk drawer had the to-be-expected Bible. Shock coursed through me as I saw the completed works of Alfred Tennyson next to it. A highlighted passage got my attention:
‘and this gray spirit yearning in desire to follow knowledge
like a sinking star, beyond the utmost bound of human thought.’
It was well-known that Tennyson was a part of my agency when the organization was first founded.
I laid my piece of luggage on the bed and opened it. I took out a leather-bound journal, an EVP recorder, external microphones, and a few mini cameras. I placed the items in each corner.
I waited and retrieved my ledger. I scribbled about my findings later in the morning.
EXCERPTS FROM FIELD NOTES/SURVEILLANCE MONITORING, FEBRUARY 16th AT 0439 HOURS:
There is a streak of blood underneath my mattress. It is faint, very old, and would not even be noticeable to the average eye due to its faded quality. I would not have found it had I not spotted and attempted to kill a roach that scurried across the carpet. The insect has disappeared. I presume it to have fallen between the cracks into another dreary unit below. I have not observed strange or unusual sounds within my space in particular. I have not seen any visions, ethereal or cerebral, which would sound any alarms. Screaming, honking horns, and drunken babbling seep through the boundaries. The wind seemed to flow through the rafters at an unusual pace around those noises. By that, I mean it whistles a song of its own in perfect rhythm.
*
I awoke the next day to the sound of my phone. It was the landline in the room. I answered it and pressed the receiver to my ear in a groggy state, entangling my neck in the wire.
“Meet me at the Civilization Cafe,” a familiar woman’s voice said. My response would have been irrelevant since it was an order and not a question. I placed it back on the hook and managed to get out of bed.
I showered, dressed, and made the walk to the coffee shop.
Dani sat outside with a steaming mug in hand. She did not acknowledge me with anything more than a quick nod as I took a seat across from her. She scanned her surroundings to make sure no one was within earshot.
“Why did you rent the place for a week?” Dani asked between sips. “We agreed on one night.”
“You know why,” I said. I tried to remind myself to remain assertive without being hot-tempered. I did not want a write-up for insubordination.
“We need you to find out what’s wrong with this place," she said. "Report your findings soon. Otherwise, what happened to the last occupants could very well occur to the next civilian.”
“Please don’t put pressure on me like that,” I said. “Catching a poltergeist in a place with so much suffering is almost impossible. It's like summoning the ancients and asking them about the order of their calamities.”
“Could you at least streamline it by sending us emails instead of relying on a pen and notebook?” Dani’s voice became an aggressive whisper. “We’re getting tired of hiring an administrator to sort out your papers. Keeping your intelligence on point is a full-time job.”
“Writing it out by hand gives me a closer connection to the source material. I have to trust my way, or I’ll make mistakes by breaking my habits. You wouldn’t want that.”
She looked down the road. She finished her drink, slung her purse over her shoulder, stood, and pushed her chair in.
“Stay safe,” she said as she walked to a black cherry-painted Honda parked near the sidewalk. "Take care, Graham."
EXCERPTS FROM FIELD NOTES/SURVEILLANCE MONITORING, FEBRUARY 17th AT 0345 HOURS:
There has been one odd synchronicity after another. My window, accumulated so much mist that I reasoned it must have been pouring. Of course, it was bright out. Some of my filming devices have readjusted without me having touched them since set up. The towel rack in my restroom bent at its center. I guarantee it was not that way beforehand. I have taken this as a lesson to take photographs of every square inch of the place. This is for future reference in my studies. After observing these anomalies, my body fell into a lethargic sensation. I was reading a book titled The Origins of the World’s mythologies by EJ Michael Witzel before it fell out of my hands. As sleep enveloped me, something tendril-like moved in my periphery. It disappeared when I tried to stare at the illusions. I fell off of my mattress after having a nightmare of a lion chasing me through the Serengeti. I hit the floor. I looked to the side and saw a fog creep through the small crack at the bottom of my door. I went to investigate where this was coming from. I did not see anything as the remnants of the precipitation evaporated completely. In the hallway was an orange feline. She scampered away into a grimy stairwell.
*
I walked outside after I finished the report. I stepped into my rented vehicle and drove to a liquor store to pick out a bottle of whiskey. There were so many evenings when I was comfortable in my sobriety. This was no longer one of them. I had an uncontrollable urge to drown myself in the brown liquid that had been a scar on my life for so long.
I passed by a few markets that were teeming with too many suspicious people outside to risk going in. It took a while until I found one that was quiet and clean.
I went across the parking lot and saw a mural of Venice beach on the wall. It brought back memories of walking along the sands of Prestwick, with Lynsey.
Her eyes were emerald and her hair was darker than any cave I had explored in my youth. We had met at the Old College Bar in Glasgow at an age we kept secret from the bartenders with our fake IDs. We had a competition to see whose fraudulent driver's license was the most convincing.
I do not remember if I fell in love with her at first sight. I do recall being in disbelief that she even bothered to give me the time of her day. I can remember kissing her for the first time. The scent of her blossom honey perfume lit my body up.
I snapped out of my reminiscences and purchased a bottle of Glennmorangie blue label.
I was back at the Cecil in minutes. I imbibed two highballs and passed out. My tolerance level had weakened compared to the binging of my younger days. When I awoke, I analyzed what had occurred in the room during my sleep.
EXCERPTS FROM FIELD NOTES/SURVEILLANCE MONITORING, FEBRUARY 18th AT 0116 HOURS:
I am feeling hungover but alert. My 450-milliliter friend is half gone, but I am seeing straight right now without any problems. In other words, I am sober with a grudge. I hope my Supervisors at the Providence agency will forgive my conduct on the job. I do not believe they will blame me. A cobalt-hued smoke emanated from one of the corners. Jazz music is playing around me, whereas it never has before for the duration of my stay. It sounds so old and improvised. The notes are as unfamiliar to me as they would be to a new listener in the Flapper era. Worst of all is how out-of-tune it sounds. My tub has overfilled itself with brackish water. I have not even bathed yet, so I know that was not by my hand. A piece of the footage shows a silhouette moving across the room. Before it reaches my sleeping body, the camera lens shattered.
*
I ran out of pages and my hand cramped. I wrote new entries within the margins. I also started to hear things other than old tunes from a bygone era.
Human wails seeped in, each one more agonized than the last. Within a few minutes, I differentiated how there were two different voices. One male, the other a woman. I attempted to record them, but it was useless. All my mics picked up were static and the hum of the air conditioner, despite how they plagued my ears like tinnitus.
I lit a circle of candles and created a makeshift altar in the center of the room. I drew the circle with salt. I sat in the lotus position, closed my eyes, and endeavored to remain open to any visions. Seances were always my last resort.
I fell into a dream. I saw a couple, both from the decade of prohibition. They were lounging in the same room as me. The man had a copy of the completed work of Alfred Tennyson in his hands.
It all seemed like a peaceful scene until an argument commenced between the two. The man retrieved a blade from his vest and advanced toward her. He stabbed her. She turned the knife on him by gripping the sharp edge in her palms and hoisting it towards his midsection. He tried to claw towards the door, but failed and instead made his way under the bed.
EXCERPTS FROM FIELD NOTES/SURVEILLANCE MONITORING, FEBRUARY 19th AT 0026 HOURS:
I now realize I have not met my intended goal. I was hoping to receive some answers why my wife took her own life in this place. Instead, I came in contact with a murdered couple from the 1920s. They killed one another, but the woman acted in self-defense. Following research, I have learned the female is an ancestor of my departed wife, Lynsey. They share the same name. Her family immigrated here in the 1850s. She had mentioned this to me over dinner on more than one occasion. I never knew they had made their way here, to the exact spot I am sitting.
I am grateful to these organizations for allowing me to make an effort at settling this matter. I hope I have completed my duties with integrity. Unfortunately, I was unable to contact her. I will revisit this place one day soon since I have no intention of giving up.

"So, you're telling me we found another sapient omnivore species?"
The commander grunted, ripping his boot from a watery patch of mud and nearly crashing into the swampy water between two twisted tree roots.
Sunny reached out with one of her four armored arms and caught him by the back of his pack, pulling him upright.
He nodded a thanks to her and adjusted his gear.
Behind her Ramirez ducked under a low hanging branch, slogging through a pool of knee-high water, adjusting the containment pod, holding Krill more comfortably over both shoulders.
Krill, comfortable and warm inside his containment pod, watched the marines, scientists, and a linguist struggle through the mud under a covering of impossibly tall, twisted trees, their canopy blocking out all light that might have dared cut downwards towards the watery floor below.
"Not entirely sapient, I suppose."
Krill answered,
"Unfortunately the way in which they communicate is going to drastically reduce their ability to create complex structures and perform mathematical equations."
Together they maneuvered themselves over a root, which at some point in the distant past, had decided to grow upwards instead of down. At about four feet high, it had changed its mind and arched back down into the water. Perhaps it had been smaller then, but at four feet wide, the root was an absolute monstrosity now.
The trees themselves were massive, challenging, and sometimes outgrowing the legendary redwood forests of the western Americas, but unlike the redwoods, these trees didn't stand tall and proud. Instead, they chose a twisted path much like the branching veins which made up a human vascular system. They twisted and undulated, interlocking past each other with branches that were well over two feet wide in many cases, and stretching to over four feet wide in others.
No one direction was good enough, and the trees twisted, ducked swirled and reached, grasping for any sort of light to be found.
On top of the darkness cast by the trees and the soggy nature of the forest floor, it was also horribly hot and humid, giving the impression of a microwaved wet blanket thrown over the world. Where heat from the upper canopy met the cooler air of deep forest pools, it created a perpetually thick mist which writhed and undulated through the trees, leaving only the shadowy impressions of twisted trunks and clawing branches past distances greater than 50 feet (15m).
"They communicate primarily through pheromones and heat modulation. From what I understand, the language in itself isn't precise, and really only works in generalities and feelings than it does in absolutes."
Commander Vir kicked a rotting log out of the way, ducking as a massive green bug buzzed over his head and into the fog.
Turns out the hotter and more humid a planet gets, the bigger the bugs get,
"But we were still able to communicate with them?”
Krill nodded from inside his case,
"Yes, generally speaking. For a species that cannot communicate in absolutes, I hear they are quite reasonable. They seem willing to accept our friendship, and have..... invited, I guess, us to participate in some sort of primitive ritual."
Vir perked up, flashing a bright smile.
“Reasonable? Peaceful? Rituals? And definitely CANNOT communicate in ABSOLUTES!? Am I the only one who thinks that sounds familiar?”
Sunny sighed,
“No Adam I am reasonably sure that they are not Jedis…”
“C’mon, that would be so cool! Like lightsabers, the force and stuff… maybe they look like tiny Yodas? I mean it fits, with the swamp, the speech impairment and all…”
He nearly fell over another root.
“Adam, focus. We have a mission here.”
The commander nodded, scrambling over another tree branch,
"Alright, so... where are these things anyway? How do they look?"
His boots hit solid ground, covered in some sort of wet spongy fungus and he glanced down at his GPS.
“Considering they talk by smell, my bet is on Elephants with giant human noses. What do you think Mav?”
Ramirez turned around to look at Maverick, who had stopped walking.
“…”
“Mav?”
“Giant… fucking spiders…”
“…”
Commander Vir was still looking at his GPS and no one else answered, so without looking up he broke the silence and said:
“Wow you are always so negative; it better not be, I want my space Yodas…”
“…”
“…”
More silence.
This time it was broken by Ramirez.
“Giant fucking spiders… with… Wolfheads!?”
The commander was still diddling around with the GPS in his hands.
“Oh not you too Ramirez, also that’s oddly specific, you always had a pretty cruel imagination. Ah there we go I think it’s that way.”
He said, looking up from his GPS to keep moving.
“…”
“…”
After some steps he realized no one was following him, so he stopped and turned around.
Behind him the other marines were dead silent, heads lifted towards the sky in shock.
"FUCK ME."
One of the marines whispered, scrambling back behind a tree root.
Commander Vir turned and nearly fell into the water again, eyes locked onto the creatures descending from high above.
They were huge, about the size of large horses, and horrifically spider like in their construction, or perhaps an ant. They had large-scale abdomens connected to a thinner thorax. All together they had ten appendages, three pairs of spider-like legs on the abdomen which, instead of ending in a pod or foot, ended in a sharp pointed spike. On the abdomen, they had two arm-like appendages, with too many joints and strange wavy tentacles instead of fingers.
The head was just as disconcerting.
It seemed too large for the body, grossly out of proportion and strangely out of place, like some cosmic sentience had used a random animal generator to assign parts to its body.
The head was wolflike, if you were to strip the skin and fur away, leaving only the muscle underneath. You could see the line of teeth running up either side of the muzzle, while the large red-pink ears rotated continuously.
Commander Vir had backed himself into the bowl of a tree eyes wide. Sunny slogged herself up from the water, placing herself between the strange spidery creatures and the human.
They didn't descend like a spider might, on threads of silk, but they used their back six feet, and the spikes on the end to dig into the bark of the trees with a disconcerting thud thud thud thud.
Finally the largest of the creatures reached the ground, surprisingly silent for its massive bulk.
Glancing around Sunnys tensed body, he noticed something he hadn't before, and that was a strange small mass gripping onto the spidery creature's underbelly. Upon closer inspection he counted ten legs and a surprisingly spidery head buried against its underside... a completely separate creature holding on to its companion.
Behind the largest creature, he noted ANOTHER type of creature. It boasted the same sort of structure as the large creature, but its abdomen was devoid of scales, and covered in strange black bulbs suctioned onto its body by way of a strange, sticky black-green webbing. Its head was also constructed differently more like a lizard than a wolf, with large bulbous eyes that could rotate behind its own head to look in all directions.
Commander Vir fiddled nervously with the advanced translation headset he wore, strapped to his helmet, supposedly it was supposed to be able to understand what these things were saying.
"Sky... friends."
The translation was somewhat garbled, but he understood it was the large wolf-head who spoke.
He walked forward, pushing Sunny gently to the side despite her clear reluctance,
"Yes, we are friends, and we are here to offer peace to you, and the assistance of the Galactic Assembly."
He wasn't entirely sure how that was going to translate over in smell, but the creature seemed happy lifting its head and gnashing its large canine teeth.
"Agreement... for a favor."
Commander Vir grew unsure then, letting off a reluctant,
"What favor?”
The spidery shape moved closer sniffing at him with its large wolffish nose. Sunny stiffened at his side, and he put a hand on her arm to calm her.
"Ritual... you watch and help."
"None of us will get hurt... will we?"
The creature stopped and pondered the question for a long moment,
"No danger... live... healthy... happy."
Commander Vir nodded slowly,
"Alright, what do we have to do?"
The creature hefted its large bulk, and turned in the opposite direction,
"Follow."
It commanded, scuttling off into the trees.
[…]
"This is very interesting."
Krill was saying to one of the accompanying scientists, who nodded vigorously in agreement.
"What's so interesting?”
Commander Vir whispered, from where he stood at the edge of yet another, but larger fungus covered clearing, watching as the creatures scuttled back and forth.
The scientist learned in in excitement,
"It seems that these creatures have a ternary gender system."
Before the commander could ask, the scientist continued,
"For ease of speech, the large ones are the females, and those things on their bellies are probably the males. The medium ones are the third gender, the 'they' if you will. It looks like the male impregnates the female who then attaches the eggs to the third party. Dr. Krill tells me that the third party have a very high heat signature, probably to incubate the young. Those attachments probably provide nutrients into the egg and may even transfer DNA over as well."
"Wow... freaky."
The commander muttered in fascination.
"Kind of gross if you ask me."
Sunny muttered.
"I'm with her. Its kinky, but too kinky for me…"
Ramirez muttered, receiving a few nods from the other marines.
"Oh please."
Krill whispered,
"I know what human reproduction is like, and it's arguable way worse."
The scientist waved them all off,
"The big one there, the one that's been talking to us. I think she's the queen, and judging from those egg sacks, this is probably mating season, if they have one."
"Creepy, but cool, I guess."
The captain muttered. They watched for a little longer as the queen scuttled around the clearing and then returned to look at them, lowering her meaty wolffish head to the commander's eye level.
"Ritual... find... eggkeeper."
She scuttled away.
"Oh... this is some sort of… Mating ritual maybe? To choose that third party you were talking about?”
"This isn't exactly the kind of "Mating ritual" I wanted to see."
Ramirez muttered. The other marines turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. Sunny stuck her tongue out in disgust.
Off in the clearing, some of the smaller females had moved themselves onto the high branches scuttling through the trees to examine the "they" who waited patiently. It appeared that side was very important in the ritual, as they all fought for the largest counterpart. Once found, the wolffish head would lower, and open up to reveal a tube under the tongue. From there she would... disgorge the egg onto the abdomen of the 'they' and the mucus would solidify to hold them on.
"It has to do with size."
Krill hissed,
"But it seems that it has more to do with heat. The big ones only get chosen more because they also happen to be warmer than the smaller ones. I'd say they incubate at an average of 90 degrees Fahrenheit, so 32 degrees Celsius."
They watched this for a while, the scientists taking notes and the marines making inappropriate jokes.
Eventually most of the creatures had finished, leaving only the queen left over.
Everything went still when she began to move, and she scuttled around the clearing, looking over all the available 'theys' she could find, but she just didn't seem satisfied.
Commander Vir tugged at the collar of his jacket, a line of sweat dripping down his face.
She continued her circuit once and then twice; at some point she turned her head, large eyes locking on the humans.
She sniffed at them.
The human laughter died as she advanced.
"What is she doing?"
The commander muttered under his breath.
The scientist that stood next to him, hidden partially behind Sunny, answered
"I... I'm not sure."
She scuttled even closer, and the humans backed away.
"Hey doc... didn't you say something about... them being attracted to heat? And like the “they’s” being around 90 F/32 Celsius?”
Ramirez wondered, hiding himself behind a root.
"Yeah... I did, why?”
"Not to freak anyone out or anything but... isn't average human heat about 98.6 Fahrenheit… so 37 degrees Celsius?"
”FUCK!”
”OH NONONONONO!”
”HIIIIDE!”
”RUUUN!”
What followed was a rather violent game of nose goes, but instead of involving touching one’s nose to see who was the last person standing, it involved a mad rush to reduce body heat.
The smartest marines took the initiative and dove into the water beside the clearing, completely submerging themselves under the surface.
Others chose to cover whatever exposed skin they might have had in mud, as if to mask the heat.
Still others chose to cut and run.
Unfortunately, with his position at the head of the group, commander Vir wasn't fast enough.
She came at him in a scuttling rush, and in a frantic leap to get away, his boot caught on a root and he hit the ground hard.
Sunny tried to leap in front of him, but was bowled over by the mad rushing form.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!"
Commander Vir repeated, scuttling backwards across the ground, as the large spidery shape loomed over him.
He stopped dead in his tracks, backed against a tree root.
She leaned closer.
He raised his hands above his head blocking his face,
"Please don't lay your eggs in me. Please don't lay your eggs in me."
She reached out one of her forward hands, surprisingly delicate, as she cut through the first layers of his jacket, and shirt.
They fell away in slices revealing the pale human skin underneath red and sticky with the tropical heat.
His chest and abdomen heaved with his breath as he tried to scramble away, but she caught him with the prong of one of her back legs pinning him in place.
"Fuck... Help... HELP."
Sunny wasn't fast enough, having been tipped head over heels into the water, with the rest of the marines in similar positions, Krill contained inside his tube unable to help but also unable to look away.
She lowered her head, and the man screamed. It was cold, gelatinous and slimy at first, but even as it touched open air, he could feel it fusing against his skin solidifying. He thrashed and wriggled, but she was far too strong holding him in place.
Finally though, she backed away, leaving him panting on the ground shaking and trembling leg throbbing where he had been pinned.
She leaned her head down to examine him,
"Warm."
They locked eyes,
"Friends... now... Keep them... warm."
She retreated, and he struggled to his knees, turning to look down at his body which was now partially obscured by a sticky pod of six black eggs, pulled tight against his skin. His hands were shaking, as he reached down to touch them, cold and smooth.
He tried tugging on one, but nearly fainted at the pain it caused against his skin.
The creatures were withdrawing back into the trees, leaving him kneeling on the fungus, hands trembling as looked downwards.
Sunny was the first to recover, scrambling out of the water and over to him, placing a hand on his back as she examined the strange eggs attached to his skin,
"Mother of-"
The marines cut her off as they came wriggling from the trees,
"Commander, commander are you ok..."
One of the marines cut around front, frozen in his tracks, eyes wide once he saw,
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Sunny reached out as if to tug on one of them,
"NO!"
He snapped, jerking away from her.
The others gathered around to look with exclamations of shock and disgust.
The commander looked up at Sunny pleadingly.
She decided to take charge, helping him to his feet and then pulling him into her arms,
"We have to get him back to the ship, let's move, NOW!"
"What do you think, Dr."
Dr. Katie examined the scan with a frown,
"It's very, very strange, that's for sure."
Commander Vir lifted his head to look down at them,
"Well what the HELL does that mean?”
Krill shoved his head back onto the table,
"Stay still."
Dr. Katie hummed softly as she continued to examine the scans,
"It looks like these little filaments have breached the skin ... and.... well at least one of them has made it to your liver, this one here has made it to your lungs."
"What about white blood count?"
Krill wondered,
"The body must have noticed something by now?"
Dr Katie shook her head,
"Nothing, the body seems to have accepted it. I took some samples and... well I think I might know why."
She rolled herself to the side in her chair and over to one of the adjoining computers,
"See this, this is HIS DNA ...and this is the DNA of the strands."
Krill pearled over her shoulder,
"What the... they look almost identical."
"Yes... I don't think the body knows anything is wrong."
She turned her chair back around to look at the commander,
"Congratulations commander, you are perhaps, in the weirdest way possible, the only man in the history of existence who might just experience the miracle of life. You are going to be a dad!"
The look on his face made it clear he wasn't interested in being congratulated,
"What the actual fuck does that mean?"
He snapped, Dr. Katie rolled closer,
"Well, to explain in terms you may understand. You are doing more than keeping them warm. Those filaments that you saw are acting like umbilical cords. The one at your liver is using it as a filter, and to take in nutrients as it seems to have branching filaments to the stomach and intestines. The one going to your lungs is taking in carbon... not sure what that's going to do to your breathing if anything. But at this point I don't think that even Dr. Krill, as good as he is, can remove them. We would have to remove too much of your internal structure to it to be viable, plus they don't seem to be hurting you."
"Not hurting me! NOT HURTING ME! You said it yourself they are SUCKING OUT MY VITAL JUICES."
Dr. Katie shrugged,
"Welcome to pregnancy... sort of.”**
”Look we will monitor you, make sure they aren't sucking away to many nutrients. Look on the bright side, you can probably eat more, and judging from an analysis of the egg sacks, the average gestational period is only around two months."
"TWO MONTHS!?"
Sunny, who had been standing next to the man at the head of the exam table, couldn't suppress a short chirp of laughter.
He glowered at her,
"What's so funny!?"
She chirped again placing a hand on his arm,
"You're gonna be a mom."
If looks could kill, shed be reduced to a singularity,
"Get your hand off me or ill break it in half!"
She continued chirping but removed her hand just in case.
This was going to be a very awkward call to the UNSC and the GA.
For that matter, it was going to be a very awkward call home.
Previous First [Next](link)
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Another new alien race! WOOOOO
Also to all arachnophobes: I am sorry…I guess just imagine eight legged dogs the size of horses if that helps…
Previous First [Next](link)
"So, you're telling me we found another sapient omnivore species?"
The commander grunted, ripping his boot from a watery patch of mud and nearly crashing into the swampy water between two twisted tree roots.
Sunny reached out with one of her four armored arms and caught him by the back of his pack, pulling him upright.
He nodded a thanks to her and adjusted his gear.
Behind her Ramirez ducked under a low hanging branch, slogging through a pool of knee-high water, adjusting the containment pod, holding Krill more comfortably over both shoulders.
Krill, comfortable and warm inside his containment pod, watched the marines, scientists, and a linguist struggle through the mud under a covering of impossibly tall, twisted trees, their canopy blocking out all light that might have dared cut downwards towards the watery floor below.
"Not entirely sapient, I suppose."
Krill answered,
"Unfortunately the way in which they communicate is going to drastically reduce their ability to create complex structures and perform mathematical equations."
Together they maneuvered themselves over a root, which at some point in the distant past, had decided to grow upwards instead of down. At about four feet high, it had changed its mind and arched back down into the water. Perhaps it had been smaller then, but at four feet wide, the root was an absolute monstrosity now.
The trees themselves were massive, challenging, and sometimes outgrowing the legendary redwood forests of the western Americas, but unlike the redwoods, these trees didn't stand tall and proud. Instead, they chose a twisted path much like the branching veins which made up a human vascular system. They twisted and undulated, interlocking past each other with branches that were well over two feet wide in many cases, and stretching to over four feet wide in others.
No one direction was good enough, and the trees twisted, ducked swirled and reached, grasping for any sort of light to be found.
On top of the darkness cast by the trees and the soggy nature of the forest floor, it was also horribly hot and humid, giving the impression of a microwaved wet blanket thrown over the world. Where heat from the upper canopy met the cooler air of deep forest pools, it created a perpetually thick mist which writhed and undulated through the trees, leaving only the shadowy impressions of twisted trunks and clawing branches past distances greater than 50 feet (15m).
"They communicate primarily through pheromones and heat modulation. From what I understand, the language in itself isn't precise, and really only works in generalities and feelings than it does in absolutes."
Commander Vir kicked a rotting log out of the way, ducking as a massive green bug buzzed over his head and into the fog.
Turns out the hotter and more humid a planet gets, the bigger the bugs get,
"But we were still able to communicate with them?”
Krill nodded from inside his case,
"Yes, generally speaking. For a species that cannot communicate in absolutes, I hear they are quite reasonable. They seem willing to accept our friendship, and have..... invited, I guess, us to participate in some sort of primitive ritual."
Vir perked up, flashing a bright smile.
“Reasonable? Peaceful? Rituals? And definitely CANNOT communicate in ABSOLUTES!? Am I the only one who thinks that sounds familiar?”
Sunny sighed,
“No Adam I am reasonably sure that they are not Jedis…”
“C’mon, that would be so cool! Like lightsabers, the force and stuff… maybe they look like tiny Yodas? I mean it fits, with the swamp, the speech impairment and all…”
He nearly fell over another root.
“Adam, focus. We have a mission here.”
The commander nodded, scrambling over another tree branch,
"Alright, so... where are these things anyway? How do they look?"
His boots hit solid ground, covered in some sort of wet spongy fungus and he glanced down at his GPS.
“Considering they talk by smell, my bet is on Elephants with giant human noses. What do you think Mav?”
Ramirez turned around to look at Maverick, who had stopped walking.
“…”
“Mav?”
“Giant… fucking spiders…”
“…”
Commander Vir was still looking at his GPS and no one else answered, so without looking up he broke the silence and said:
“Wow you are always so negative; it better not be, I want my space Yodas…”
“…”
“…”
More silence.
This time it was broken by Ramirez.
“Giant fucking spiders… with… Wolfheads!?”
The commander was still diddling around with the GPS in his hands.
“Oh not you too Ramirez, also that’s oddly specific, you always had a pretty cruel imagination. Ah there we go I think it’s that way.”
He said, looking up from his GPS to keep moving.
“…”
“…”
After some steps he realized no one was following him, so he stopped and turned around.
Behind him the other marines were dead silent, heads lifted towards the sky in shock.
"FUCK ME."
One of the marines whispered, scrambling back behind a tree root.
Commander Vir turned and nearly fell into the water again, eyes locked onto the creatures descending from high above.
They were huge, about the size of large horses, and horrifically spider like in their construction, or perhaps an ant. They had large-scale abdomens connected to a thinner thorax. All together they had ten appendages, three pairs of spider-like legs on the abdomen which, instead of ending in a pod or foot, ended in a sharp pointed spike. On the abdomen, they had two arm-like appendages, with too many joints and strange wavy tentacles instead of fingers.
The head was just as disconcerting.
It seemed too large for the body, grossly out of proportion and strangely out of place, like some cosmic sentience had used a random animal generator to assign parts to its body.
The head was wolflike, if you were to strip the skin and fur away, leaving only the muscle underneath. You could see the line of teeth running up either side of the muzzle, while the large red-pink ears rotated continuously.
Commander Vir had backed himself into the bowl of a tree eyes wide. Sunny slogged herself up from the water, placing herself between the strange spidery creatures and the human.
They didn't descend like a spider might, on threads of silk, but they used their back six feet, and the spikes on the end to dig into the bark of the trees with a disconcerting thud thud thud thud.
Finally the largest of the creatures reached the ground, surprisingly silent for its massive bulk.
Glancing around Sunnys tensed body, he noticed something he hadn't before, and that was a strange small mass gripping onto the spidery creature's underbelly. Upon closer inspection he counted ten legs and a surprisingly spidery head buried against its underside... a completely separate creature holding on to its companion.
Behind the largest creature, he noted ANOTHER type of creature. It boasted the same sort of structure as the large creature, but its abdomen was devoid of scales, and covered in strange black bulbs suctioned onto its body by way of a strange, sticky black-green webbing. Its head was also constructed differently more like a lizard than a wolf, with large bulbous eyes that could rotate behind its own head to look in all directions.
Commander Vir fiddled nervously with the advanced translation headset he wore, strapped to his helmet, supposedly it was supposed to be able to understand what these things were saying.
"Sky... friends."
The translation was somewhat garbled, but he understood it was the large wolf-head who spoke.
He walked forward, pushing Sunny gently to the side despite her clear reluctance,
"Yes, we are friends, and we are here to offer peace to you, and the assistance of the Galactic Assembly."
He wasn't entirely sure how that was going to translate over in smell, but the creature seemed happy lifting its head and gnashing its large canine teeth.
"Agreement... for a favor."
Commander Vir grew unsure then, letting off a reluctant,
"What favor?”
The spidery shape moved closer sniffing at him with its large wolffish nose. Sunny stiffened at his side, and he put a hand on her arm to calm her.
"Ritual... you watch and help."
"None of us will get hurt... will we?"
The creature stopped and pondered the question for a long moment,
"No danger... live... healthy... happy."
Commander Vir nodded slowly,
"Alright, what do we have to do?"
The creature hefted its large bulk, and turned in the opposite direction,
"Follow."
It commanded, scuttling off into the trees.
[…]
"This is very interesting."
Krill was saying to one of the accompanying scientists, who nodded vigorously in agreement.
"What's so interesting?”
Commander Vir whispered, from where he stood at the edge of yet another, but larger fungus covered clearing, watching as the creatures scuttled back and forth.
The scientist learned in in excitement,
"It seems that these creatures have a ternary gender system."
Before the commander could ask, the scientist continued,
"For ease of speech, the large ones are the females, and those things on their bellies are probably the males. The medium ones are the third gender, the 'they' if you will. It looks like the male impregnates the female who then attaches the eggs to the third party. Dr. Krill tells me that the third party have a very high heat signature, probably to incubate the young. Those attachments probably provide nutrients into the egg and may even transfer DNA over as well."
"Wow... freaky."
The commander muttered in fascination.
"Kind of gross if you ask me."
Sunny muttered.
"I'm with her. Its kinky, but too kinky for me…"
Ramirez muttered, receiving a few nods from the other marines.
"Oh please."
Krill whispered,
"I know what human reproduction is like, and it's arguable way worse."
The scientist waved them all off,
"The big one there, the one that's been talking to us. I think she's the queen, and judging from those egg sacks, this is probably mating season, if they have one."
"Creepy, but cool, I guess."
The captain muttered. They watched for a little longer as the queen scuttled around the clearing and then returned to look at them, lowering her meaty wolffish head to the commander's eye level.
"Ritual... find... eggkeeper."
She scuttled away.
"Oh... this is some sort of… Mating ritual maybe? To choose that third party you were talking about?”
"This isn't exactly the kind of "Mating ritual" I wanted to see."
Ramirez muttered. The other marines turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. Sunny stuck her tongue out in disgust.
Off in the clearing, some of the smaller females had moved themselves onto the high branches scuttling through the trees to examine the "they" who waited patiently. It appeared that side was very important in the ritual, as they all fought for the largest counterpart. Once found, the wolffish head would lower, and open up to reveal a tube under the tongue. From there she would... disgorge the egg onto the abdomen of the 'they' and the mucus would solidify to hold them on.
"It has to do with size."
Krill hissed,
"But it seems that it has more to do with heat. The big ones only get chosen more because they also happen to be warmer than the smaller ones. I'd say they incubate at an average of 90 degrees Fahrenheit, so 32 degrees Celsius."
They watched this for a while, the scientists taking notes and the marines making inappropriate jokes.
Eventually most of the creatures had finished, leaving only the queen left over.
Everything went still when she began to move, and she scuttled around the clearing, looking over all the available 'theys' she could find, but she just didn't seem satisfied.
Commander Vir tugged at the collar of his jacket, a line of sweat dripping down his face.
She continued her circuit once and then twice; at some point she turned her head, large eyes locking on the humans.
She sniffed at them.
The human laughter died as she advanced.
"What is she doing?"
The commander muttered under his breath.
The scientist that stood next to him, hidden partially behind Sunny, answered
"I... I'm not sure."
She scuttled even closer, and the humans backed away.
"Hey doc... didn't you say something about... them being attracted to heat? And like the “they’s” being around 90 F/32 Celsius?”
Ramirez wondered, hiding himself behind a root.
"Yeah... I did, why?”
"Not to freak anyone out or anything but... isn't average human heat about 98.6 Fahrenheit… so 37 degrees Celsius?"
”FUCK!”
”OH NONONONONO!”
”HIIIIDE!”
”RUUUN!”
What followed was a rather violent game of nose goes, but instead of involving touching one’s nose to see who was the last person standing, it involved a mad rush to reduce body heat.
The smartest marines took the initiative and dove into the water beside the clearing, completely submerging themselves under the surface.
Others chose to cover whatever exposed skin they might have had in mud, as if to mask the heat.
Still others chose to cut and run.
Unfortunately, with his position at the head of the group, commander Vir wasn't fast enough.
She came at him in a scuttling rush, and in a frantic leap to get away, his boot caught on a root and he hit the ground hard.
Sunny tried to leap in front of him, but was bowled over by the mad rushing form.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!"
Commander Vir repeated, scuttling backwards across the ground, as the large spidery shape loomed over him.
He stopped dead in his tracks, backed against a tree root.
She leaned closer.
He raised his hands above his head blocking his face,
"Please don't lay your eggs in me. Please don't lay your eggs in me."
She reached out one of her forward hands, surprisingly delicate, as she cut through the first layers of his jacket, and shirt.
They fell away in slices revealing the pale human skin underneath red and sticky with the tropical heat.
His chest and abdomen heaved with his breath as he tried to scramble away, but she caught him with the prong of one of her back legs pinning him in place.
"Fuck... Help... HELP."
Sunny wasn't fast enough, having been tipped head over heels into the water, with the rest of the marines in similar positions, Krill contained inside his tube unable to help but also unable to look away.
She lowered her head, and the man screamed. It was cold, gelatinous and slimy at first, but even as it touched open air, he could feel it fusing against his skin solidifying. He thrashed and wriggled, but she was far too strong holding him in place.
Finally though, she backed away, leaving him panting on the ground shaking and trembling leg throbbing where he had been pinned.
She leaned her head down to examine him,
"Warm."
They locked eyes,
"Friends... now... Keep them... warm."
She retreated, and he struggled to his knees, turning to look down at his body which was now partially obscured by a sticky pod of six black eggs, pulled tight against his skin. His hands were shaking, as he reached down to touch them, cold and smooth.
He tried tugging on one, but nearly fainted at the pain it caused against his skin.
The creatures were withdrawing back into the trees, leaving him kneeling on the fungus, hands trembling as looked downwards.
Sunny was the first to recover, scrambling out of the water and over to him, placing a hand on his back as she examined the strange eggs attached to his skin,
"Mother of-"
The marines cut her off as they came wriggling from the trees,
"Commander, commander are you ok..."
One of the marines cut around front, frozen in his tracks, eyes wide once he saw,
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Sunny reached out as if to tug on one of them,
"NO!"
He snapped, jerking away from her.
The others gathered around to look with exclamations of shock and disgust.
The commander looked up at Sunny pleadingly.
She decided to take charge, helping him to his feet and then pulling him into her arms,
"We have to get him back to the ship, let's move, NOW!"
"What do you think, Dr."
Dr. Katie examined the scan with a frown,
"It's very, very strange, that's for sure."
Commander Vir lifted his head to look down at them,
"Well what the HELL does that mean?”
Krill shoved his head back onto the table,
"Stay still."
Dr. Katie hummed softly as she continued to examine the scans,
"It looks like these little filaments have breached the skin ... and.... well at least one of them has made it to your liver, this one here has made it to your lungs."
"What about white blood count?"
Krill wondered,
"The body must have noticed something by now?"
Dr Katie shook her head,
"Nothing, the body seems to have accepted it. I took some samples and... well I think I might know why."
She rolled herself to the side in her chair and over to one of the adjoining computers,
"See this, this is HIS DNA ...and this is the DNA of the strands."
Krill pearled over her shoulder,
"What the... they look almost identical."
"Yes... I don't think the body knows anything is wrong."
She turned her chair back around to look at the commander,
"Congratulations commander, you are perhaps, in the weirdest way possible, the only man in the history of existence who might just experience the miracle of life. You are going to be a dad!"
The look on his face made it clear he wasn't interested in being congratulated,
"What the actual fuck does that mean?"
He snapped, Dr. Katie rolled closer,
"Well, to explain in terms you may understand. You are doing more than keeping them warm. Those filaments that you saw are acting like umbilical cords. The one at your liver is using it as a filter, and to take in nutrients as it seems to have branching filaments to the stomach and intestines. The one going to your lungs is taking in carbon... not sure what that's going to do to your breathing if anything. But at this point I don't think that even Dr. Krill, as good as he is, can remove them. We would have to remove too much of your internal structure to it to be viable, plus they don't seem to be hurting you."
"Not hurting me! NOT HURTING ME! You said it yourself they are SUCKING OUT MY VITAL JUICES."
Dr. Katie shrugged,
"Welcome to pregnancy... sort of.”**
”Look we will monitor you, make sure they aren't sucking away to many nutrients. Look on the bright side, you can probably eat more, and judging from an analysis of the egg sacks, the average gestational period is only around two months."
"TWO MONTHS!?"
Sunny, who had been standing next to the man at the head of the exam table, couldn't suppress a short chirp of laughter.
He glowered at her,
"What's so funny!?"
She chirped again placing a hand on his arm,
"You're gonna be a mom."
If looks could kill, shed be reduced to a singularity,
"Get your hand off me or ill break it in half!"
She continued chirping but removed her hand just in case.
This was going to be a very awkward call to the UNSC and the GA.
For that matter, it was going to be a very awkward call home.
Previous First [Next](link)
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

Hey! Long distance is ok if you’re also willing to do what’s necessary to meet if there’s a strong connection
Appearance: 1m84/6ft - 84kg/185 lbs (I’m not fat tho, just muscular), long and wavy brown hair, bearded, brown eyes. I’m a mix of French and Italian but look more like an Hispanic/Arabic. There are some body pics on my profile and we can trade face pics in private
Personality: INTJ-A. Calm by nature, I prefer to read, watch conferences, do sport or visit museums than partying at night (in general).
Being submissive isn’t a part of my behavior in everyday life, it’s just what I like in a love relationship. Lack of security and affection as a child surely has something to do with the fact I want a caring dominant girlfriend (I don't expect you to be my therapist tho, don't worry).
I think child abuse made me a sociopath. I can have difficulties to feel empathy, so a good communication is really important since I can’t always guess people’s feelings. However I’m a reliable, honest and kind friend when I have a deep relationship with someone
Hobbies/interests: philosophy, sport, mathematics, walking in nature, art, Ghibli movies, playing piano (I started not long ago), cats, memes. I’m also interested about biology, psychology and history but don’t know a lot about it.
My career path has been a bit chaotic so far, but right now my goal is to study to become a medical laboratory technician
What I’m looking for: a monogamous LTR with someone between 18yo and 30yo. I’m not into humiliation/degradation at all, I’m seeking a soft/caring girlfriend
I don’t expect you to be super bossy and to make all the decisions, it’s normal to have disagreements and to discuss it, to play together, tease each other etc. It’s just that you’d always have the last word
I tried to make it quick so don’t hesitate to contact me if you’d like to know anything more! :)

PART EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIVE
[Previous Chapter] [The Beginning] [Patreon+2]
Thursday
An hour or so after Charlie fell asleep in Robbie’s arms, he heard movement outside in the kitchen. Hesitant movement that implied not all was right in the world. He slipped out from under her and quietly hauled on a pair of cargo shorts that had been tossed between the bed and the bedroom door along with the rest of their clothes.
To avoid waking Charlie, he realm-stepped into the bathroom across the hall and walked out the open door, heading down the hallway to the common area. At first glance, he didn’t see anything, but then Gerry appeared from behind the wall in the alcove.
“Hey, sweet pea. What are you doing up?” he asked, searching the area for Sam since the two were rarely ever seen apart.
“Have you seen Sam?” she asked, answering his question at the same time. “He’s not in our room.”
Robbie glanced at the fridge, finding no note scrawled in Sam’s writing on the electronic notepad built into the door. But what was more interesting were the two glasses of juice still sitting on the sink. One was near full and the other half full, and from the condensation lines, both were barely touched.
“I’m sure he’s around somewhere, sweet pea. You know he’ll never go far from you.”
“His phone is still in our room, and all his shoes are still accounted for in the shoe cubby and dressing room,” she insisted, her brow creasing in concern. “He wouldn’t go out barefoot…”
“That just means he’s here somewhere. Why don’t you head back to bed, and I’ll track him down and see what he’s up to? If he and I put our heads together, maybe we can smash it out faster and get him back to you sooner. Sound good?”
Geraldine rubbed her elbow hesitantly. “I don’t want him to think I’m needy…”
But you are, and he loves that about you, Robbie wisely thought to himself instead of saying it out loud. “Then I won’t tell him you’re looking for him. I’ll just see where he is and take it from there.”
“Okay. I mean, I’m sure he’s fine … isn’t he?”
Her expression was haunted, and it put Robbie on notice. “Why wouldn’t he be?”
“When we were at school the other day, he was worried about his grandparents finding him. Like, really worried. He was scared they would find him and kill him.” She looked up at him. “You don’t think they could’ve come in the middle of the night and taken him, do you?”
Robbie sucked in a deep breath and held it to settle his own fright spike. “Nahh,” he purred, forcing himself to shake his head. For starters, there’d be bodies, not disappearances, and although Sam’s grandmother was the scariest being War, the elder most likely to find them first would be Luck, which put his and Aunt Collette’s necks on the block first.
“I mean, they’re dangerous as all hell, for sure. But we have a lot of muscle here too, and they respect Lady Col too much to enter her territory and throw their weight around like that. It’ll start a war they won’t win. Besides, there are secret guards everywhere, watching over us. Wherever he is, he’s fine. Okay?”
“Secret guards?”
“Invisible guards.”
“Sam has invisible guards?”
“Sam, me, Llyr … even Ivy. Plus, you know Tiacor and Angus.”
“Tiacor’s not scary…”
“Because she’s a doctor, not a soldier. Angus is a soldier.”
“And they’re all aliens too?”
The scratch of a turntable needle over an old-school record played in Robbie’s mind for a good three seconds. “Uhhh…yeah,” he said, though it didn’t come off very convincingly. “They’re definitely not from around here.” Wow, Sammy-boy. You’ve been weaving some very intricate webs for someone who’s deathly opposed to lying.
Geraldine stared at him for a few seconds, then turned without saying another word and went back down the hallway towards her and Sam’s bedroom.
Robbie waited until Geraldine was safely inside before he said semi-quietly, “Larry, do you have a minute?” When there was no answer, Robbie refused to call out any louder and wake up the apartment, but he knew exactly what would bring his guard running.
In two steps, he appeared in the white stone driveway of a stilted two-storey house with peeling paint and a huge veranda around the second storey overlooking the water. To one side, against a smattering of ghost cypresses, was an Airstream trailer that likewise had seen better days. The house looked as if it was a strong breeze or two away from collapsing altogether, and upon closer inspection, it was the Airstream that looked lived in. The old wheels had been removed, and the axles now rested on cinderblocks. From the way the rust sank into the concrete, it’d been that way for a while.
If it hadn’t been for an instantaneous dip into his older memories, he wouldn’t have been able to visualise the place at all, but now that he was here, he did remember thinking that the Airstream had been a magic rocket when he was here last. Something that would be tilted upright and shot into space when the time was right.
It had certainly gone downhill in two decades.
He heard the movement behind him and immediately realm-stepped back into the hallway outside the apartment with Larry hot on his heels. “What the hell?!” Larry raged, storming around in front of him.
Robbie raised his hands, more to ward off Larry’s aggression than to surrender. “Hey, I called out to you, and you didn’t hear me. Can you think of a better way to get your attention?”
Larry twisted his lips, then huffed out a breath and shook his head. “You’re a sneaky little prick, Robert O’Hara. I’ll give you that. You'll be the one I keep a closer eye on, for sure.”
It was the first time away from their introduction that Larry had hinted at his previous assignment. “Who was that, anyway? Your other assignment. Anyone I know?”
Larry shook his head. “Not important right now. You wanted me, and I’m here. What’d you want?”
“Can you reach out to Sam’s guard and find out where he is? Geraldine has noticed Sam’s missing, and it looks like he realm-stepped to wherever he is.”
Larry looked at him as if he was half a second away from punching him. “Seriously?!” he snarled. "All this just to do a location call on Sam?!"
Robbie became just as annoyed. “One way or another, I’m going to go looking for him in all the places he could possibly be. From here to Flagler Beach to his brother and sisters' homes on the other side of the world if necessary. So either you find out where he is so I can go straight to him, or you can come with me while we spend the rest of the night chasing our tails all over the globe! What’s your flavour?”
“Okay. Okay. Calm your tits, boy. Sheesh.” As Larry drew in a breath and released it, his eyes went to the ceiling above them. “He’s up in his old room,” he said, no longer as angry. Another shallower breath had him looking back at Robbie. “He got into an argument with his mother, and it’s really upset him. Kulon’s not sure what to do.”
“Is he angry or sad?”
“Sad.”
Robbie had no idea what had transpired between mother and son, but he knew his young cousin well enough to have a temporary cure. “Seven floors up means you can either stay here or follow me up. Either way, you know where I am.”
“I’ll stay in the middle somewhere. It’ll give you two privacy.”
“Thanks, Larry.”
“Just out of curiosity, where was that other place? The run-down joint down south. I mean, I know it’s New Orleans, but…”
“It’s memaw’s place. Dad’s mom. Visiting her was one of the few times I ever left New York, and that was back when I was a little kid. She wasn’t very nice to Mom, and my sisters and Dad never took me back.”
Larry frowned. “Interesting choice of location for you to go now, then.”
“Not really. I wanted something quick and distant that wouldn’t draw me into staying longer than a second or two.” Robbie shook his head, heading for the living apartment. “Trust me, there’s a lot of hate bottled in that old lady, and I have no doubt she still blames Mom and the girls for Dad dying in 9-11. Maybe me, too, for all I know. She called a couple of times and abused us before Mom hung up on her. I only ever saw her that once.”
“I would reconsider ever going back there. The place looks pretty run down,” Larry cautioned, his expression showing genuine concern.
“Don’t ignore me when I call you, and I won’t have to,” Robbie shot back. He’d gone more than two decades without seeing his memaw. She’d made her choices a long time ago, and better people than her deserved his attention now. “That wasn’t meant to sound as catty as it came out. I’m sorry, but I have to go now and see what’s got Sam all bent out of shape,” he said, heading inside. Larry was gone by the time the door closed, and Robbie sighed into the silence.
He wasn’t bitter on purpose. He just knew his father’s mother. If she found out how much he was worth, she’d have her hand out for sure, citing the wealth should have been papaw’s all along.
If only he hadn’t seen the deplorable living conditions she was living in. Then he could go on pretending he didn’t care. Because, like it or not, the old crow was still his grandmother.
One fire at a time, he promised himself, going to the cutlery drawer to pull out two dessert spoons and then the freezer to remove a brand new tub of Ben & Jerry’s half-bake.
* * *
((All comments welcome. Good or bad, I'd love to hear your thoughts 🥰🤗))
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be found here
For more of my work including WPs: Angel466 or an index of previous WPS here.
FULL INDEX OF BOB THE HOBO TO DATE CAN BE FOUND HERE!!

I am currently watching Toradora for the fourth time (I didn't have time during christmas) and I wondered... when does who start feeling what? When do the characters develop feelings for the others. In some cases it seems clear, but is it really? Most people would say that Taiga becomes aware of her feelings for Ryuuji in episode 19, and while that maybe true, does that mean that is when her feelings for him start? Isn't it much sooner? For example when they are in the beach house and she tells him how calm she feels around him? Or even earlier, when he calls her Taiga for the first time?
The same goes for Minorin and Ami. When do they start to realize their feelings?

It’s wonderful to remember emotional memories of passionate, unadulterated love, accomplishment, or delight experienced at a momentous occasion. You may reflect on the past in your daydreams to recreate a pleasurable memory. Or it can bring back memories of the heat of rage or the agony of loss. It might be joyful or painful when a specific stimulus—a circumstance, an event, a person, or a thought—activates an emotional memory. For instance, a particular day could bring back painful memories. So as that day approaches, memories of the loss frequently become present in your mind.
​
Anything related to your senses could serve as a cue to trigger emotional memories. For instance, while at a German restaurant, I recalled fond memories of the Kris-Kringle Mart I visited when I was a child. In essence, the smell triggered sensory memories and images in my brain that grabbed me. I also suspect that the aroma activated memories that ordinarily rest comfortably in the recesses of my psyche. This is because the brain can instantly scan an extraordinary number of emotional memories.
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Although you can know what triggers emotional memories and the meanings you give to them, you cannot erase memories. And you can change how you’re currently responding to them. Your memories have a purpose, so you can't truly pick which ones you want to keep. In addition, all of your memories are crucial to who you have become. Even the painful ones can teach you wonderful things.
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A memory without an emotional charge is called wisdom. Joe Dispenza

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How Do Memory Triggers Work?

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Memory's three fundamental operations are encoding, storing, and retrieving. You learn information by encoding it. The knowledge is then either stored in long-term memory or short-term memory in your brain. While short-term memories are short-lived in the brain, some of them get transferred to your long-term memory, which has unlimited storage. The process of retrieval involves calling up memories. Even if you'd prefer not to recall something, the sights and sounds in your environment can cause your brain to retrieve a long-term memory.
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Your brain is more likely to remember information associated with intense emotions than routine facts, which you forget. For instance, much research showed that subjects were better able to recall information associated with either good or negative emotions than neutral information. Processing the emotions associated with memory has more to do with forgetting it. Many methods for forgetting a terrible memory involve progressively separating the memories from the unfavorable emotions that gave rise to it.
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For years, scientists have been looking for strategies to aid those who deliberately forget. While it’s unlikely that you will erase undesirable memories from your brain, you can take steps to stop the memory from interfering with your life, such as identifying the memory, dealing with your emotions, and learning your memory triggers.
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Memory is a record of your personal experience. It is a record of trial and error, defeat, and success. Past failures will warn you against repeating them. Wilfred Peterson

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Focus On The Present

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It's crucial to understand when you're in recall mode versus accessing feelings about the present moment. This helps to prevent unpleasant memory triggers from causing issues. When your internal distress is out of proportion to the event, the explanation is that you're in recall mode. Your recollection of being hurt in the past and feeling helpless to react since caused the strength of your emotions in the present.
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Charged memories frequently come to mind when memory and the present circumstances are comparable. But don’t allow them to control how you feel or function as an emotionally stable adult. You understand that not getting an invitation to a party doesn't imply you're unpopular or unloved; rather, it just means that not everyone gets asked to do everything. You want to know as an adult that it's inappropriate for your boss to yell at you, that you may have done little to nothing wrong, that his opinion has no bearing on your worth, and that you have options in how you respond.
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Create a list of your painful memories from childhood to stop memory triggers, such as being shamed, abandoned, neglected, unfairly compared to others, fiercely competed with, ignored, teased, undermined, invalidated, feeling unheard or invisible, frequently being forced to do things against your will, being manipulated, etc. Recognize that analogous modern circumstances may bring up these memories. By recognizing these memory triggers, you can foresee their explosion and mark them as irrelevant to the present moment.
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Past and future are in the mind only–I am now. Nisargadatta Maharaj

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Lost Sense Of Reality

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If you're not using problem-solving techniques to deal with a current circumstance, it's one sign you've lost your sense of reality. You feel helpless and victimized—which, as an adult, you’re not—because you’re overwhelmed by emotions rather than with common reason and empowerment. Being unable to focus on the present and coming up with solutions is draining. You're considering what you can do right away, such as what it truly means in your present life to be declined an invitation to a certain party or how to handle worries about how your boss is treating you. You will feel strong, overwhelming emotions and a victimizing feeling if you are in a memory trigger. However, feeling in control, having clear thinking, and taking initiative characterizes being in reality.
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Do not blame yourself for giving in to triggers. It happens naturally. Instead, concentrate on understanding what circumstances cause this to occur and how to recognize when you have lost touch with the present. The first step to returning to reality is realizing that you are acting on an event that took place in the past.
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Some people experience memory fading. However, if you suffer from trauma or anxiety, you could feel you're continuously reliving memories from the past that you'd prefer to forget. Some people may find the sudden recurrence of particular memories to be extremely unsettling or even crippling.
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There is no way I can just erase those memories. That would be the same as erasing my own self. Haruki Murakami

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Tips to Fade a Memory Trigger

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There are actions you can take to decrease the emotional impact and intrusiveness of a memory. Keep in mind that it takes time and practice to do so.
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• Determine the memory. It may seem strange, but to forget something, you need to first recall it. What images, sounds, and sensations are associated with a particular memory?
• Organize your feelings. Allow yourself to feel any negative emotions associated with the memories rather than attempting to suppress them. To discover strategies to deal with challenging emotions, you might also try working with a coach like myself.
• Discover the memory-triggering factors. Perhaps your mind remembers your breakup whenever you see the model of the car your ex drove. Or perhaps the fragrance of chicken soup makes you think of your grandmother, and you’re overcome with flashbacks to her death. Make a note of the situations or people that bring up memory triggers for you.
• Consider replacing the memory. For instance, instead of dwelling on the breakup when you see the type of car your ex-partner drove, consider remembering a time you traveled to the beach in that vehicle. You can eventually train your brain to swap out the unwanted memory for the new one.
• Maintain a fit lifestyle. Unwanted memories can come back when you're stressed or sleep-deprived. Exercise, eat a healthy diet, and get enough sleep. Maintain a healthy lifestyle to improve your mental and emotional well-being. Being mindful might assist you in keeping your thoughts in the present.
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Memory and identity are burdens from the past, preventing us from living freely in the present. Naval Ravikant

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Coping With Unwanted Memory Triggers

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Here are five ways I’ve helped lessen the impact of memory triggers.
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1. When dealing with a memory, exposure can be helpful. To gradually and repeatedly expose oneself to the thing you dread is the goal of exposure therapy. For instance, if you recall getting bit by a dog when you were young, you might have grown to fear dogs. You can progressively get over the memory that caused your phobia of dogs by exposing yourself to them in a safe and regulated way.

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1. To lessen the unpleasant effects of memories, try practicing relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and guided imagery are a few examples of such methods. You can develop new techniques for calming yourself in response to memory triggers by combining these strategies with gradually exposing yourself to similar situations.

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1. Be alert when memories resurface. Being mindful is putting all of your attention in the present without thinking about the past or the future. Try directing your focus on anything in the present, such as a sound or fragrance, rather than allowing yourself to become lost in the memory. By focusing on the present, you can divert your attention from the memory and lessen the emotional impact it has on you.

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1. Perfectionism occasionally heightens the agony of memories. You can find it challenging to move forward if you feel you have to be perfect. Try making mistakes and doing things incorrectly on purpose. If you are actively looking for opportunities to embarrass yourself, those experiences will eventually taste different in your memory. Remind yourself that now is the time to accept yourself as you authentically are, rather than waiting until you’re perfect at everything. Self-acceptance exercises might lessen the impact of those memories.

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1. You might also have a few mantras you repeat to yourself during flashbacks, such as "that event does not define me." It's helpful to remind yourself that your negative experiences don't define who you authentically are today. Avoid using harmful techniques to block out unpleasant memories, such as abusing drugs or alcohol.

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The past does not have to be your prison. You have a voice in your destiny. You have a say in your life. You have a choice in the path you take. Max Lucado.

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Moving Forward With Fewer Memory Triggers

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Those things that you want to forget are what the egoic mind fixates upon. But the ego tells you that these events of the past are indications of the future. But it’s a lie. Each time your brain remembers the past, it’s processing like a computer. The data has to be disassembled from long-term memory and reassembled in your present mind, and re-categorized with the new data it’s collecting from the present moment.
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All your memories, both positive and negative, are what make you who you authentically are. These recollections help you grow and learn if you consciously choose to look for the lesson in each experience.
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No one can alter the past. However, your future is still determined by the current decisions and choices you are making. If you want a happier, more peaceful life moving forward, you need to respond to the present differently. Hope lies in the bold actions you take today. You may understand the present by looking at the past, but you have to move forward to live the life that you love.
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Loss brings pain. Yes. But pain triggers memory. And memory is a kind of new birth within each of us. And it is that new birth after long pain, that resurrection - in memory - that, to our surprise, perhaps, comforts us. - Sue Mille