So for some context, I just got back from a vacation, we've been to this place 9 times and every single time without fail I get stomach sick from the food, it's not the way it's prepared or that the quality isn't there, it just doesn't agree with me at all and I think my stomach just goes into shock with me coming home and even drinking our own water..
I usually ask for 2 days off after getting back from this place for that specific reason, to try to get my stomach back in order so I'm not spending half my shift in the bathroom. She only gave me the one and I was somewhat ok with that. The day before leaving for this trip I had to call in due to my elderly cat not doing so well... We ended up having to put her down that day and they didn't hassle me about that. So last night my boss texted me THREE times asking if I was coming in tomorrow, I told her yes, my stomach was feeling up to par and I had full intent of coming in, even packed my lunch. At 4AM I woke up with awful stomach pains, ended up being in the bathroom for an hour and decided to shoot her a text to let her know I wouldn't be able to make it in. I haven't heard back from her but was this the right call? I feel bad calling off right before and right after my vacation but to be fair on my part I did ask for today off to begin with and she said she couldn't give it to me because she had an appointment.

Idk how to start this bc i never talked about that with anyone. But i'm so lonely i can't life like that anymore
Sry in advance i'm not a native English..
So everything started 2 year ago on Christmas. My gf of 7 years broke up with me and couldn't give me a reason she just wrote a text via WhatsApp and blocked me everywhere.... 1 week after that she confessed to me that she cheated on my multipe times while i was away for my intership that i always wanted. She said she still has feelings for me and stupid as i was i said i forgive her and we can work on things. (we dont live together bc i wasn't accepted at her university and she not where i was accepted but it was pretty close) so we saw each other like 4 times in that week and then she dumped me again bc everything was to fast for her even tho nothing really hallend we just talked in person. After that she came back to me every month with when u really think about it really stupid reasons but i loved her so fucking much i didn't realised it and let her in my life again so i never really got the time to dictance me from her and still i loved her. This went on for almost a year. Then my grandma died. I took that as a breaking point. Blocked her everywhere deleted everything and told her to never call me again. After that year i was a fracture of my former self. But i tried to get thru all that and thought everything is gonna get better. After some month i felt pretty lonely. I life really far away from my family and old friends and had not many friends here bc i spend most of my time with my ex. So i started dating. I meet great people and i had alot of matches on all dating apps. I had some dates that where really cool but most of them didn't really worked out. The biggest dealbreker was that i'm a nerdy guy. I like gaming, anime, lore, star wars cardgames(mostly yogioh and legends of runterra) and i they say that they want someone that is not that childish and like suff like that. I'm pretty sure that i'm not obsessive with those things there are just things i'm intressted in. So most of the days i was home alone studying or doimg stuff i like. The only people i had alot of contact are my best friends i play videogames with them regularly. But besides that i dont really speak at all mostly bc i have no confidence anymore idk. This hit me now really hard bc my fiends are now on a trip that i cant attend bc i have University stuff to do. So now i'm here haven't talked to someone in 2 weeks. And i dont know what to anymore. I know that something is wrong with me but i don't know what or what i should do. I dont go out exept to get stuff to cook ( i really like cooking and treating myself with food i like) but beside that i had no comtact with someone. I get pretty bad anxiety when i have the thought of talking to a stranger and even when i relly wnat to i cant. I can't afford therapy and i'm just lost. What can i do? How do i get over that? Help.
I hope i got anything in the right order and it makes sense but i'm crying rn and cant read all that again sorry.

Background
Me: 34F
Jobs: Consultant
Location: East Coast
Goal: Finding the balance between paying off my six-figure student debt while still enjoying life post failed fertility treatments.
Current Debt and Assets
DEBT
Credit card debt: $2,200 approximately. I usually never go more than 2 months without paying it off completely to keep me honest.
Personal loans: $0
Medical debt: $0
Student loan debt: $125,303.17 with 3.301% interest. I had a scholarship to undergrad. For my graduate degree, I took out 150k of loans. In the 4 years after graduate school where I was paying the minimum payment, the loan amount grew to $171,000. I paid off approximately 57k in the past 18 months (although because interest is so high, only 46k of that went to principal.)
Auto loans: $0 – My husband and I have had a ton of bad luck the past few years but one thing we were fortunate about is buying two used cars around 22k each right before the new and used car market went crazy. We paid them both off within 3-4 months of purchasing them. I used to think I would just lease a car because I had this idea that all used cars break down constantly but I’m glad my husband disabused me of notion because with some TLC, my car should last me a long time and with all the spending on gas and tolls, I am so thankful to not have a car payment.
Savings balance: $1,000. My husband and I used to have a very large savings/rainy day fund (30k-ish) but we’ve spent the past 3 years going through fertility treatments that have really eaten away at our savings. This amount of savings is pretty antithetical to how judicious we both are about money but we both have good job security and could cash out our investment accounts with penalty if we really needed it so we haven’t prioritizied replenishing it. That, and we are very emotionally spent after the past few years.
Checking account balance: $460.55
Crypto portfolio: $0. I don’t have the risk tolerance for this.
House: Bought for $580,000, now worth ~$700,000. Still owe around 545k.
Assets:
401K: ~$140,000. I max out my contribution to my 401k. I did not start contributing to this until I was 27 but all my past employers have had generous matches which has helped.
ROTH IRA: ~$11,000. My husband and I have a joint ROTH IRA that we’ve maxed out every year for past 4-5 years. All our accounts have taken a beating this year, not unlike everyone else, so these numbers used to be much higher. Keep reminding myself to play the long game!
Brokerage Account $6,000. I’d like to be more aggressive with this but we’re doing our best at the moment.
Income
I am currently working full-time as a tech consultant. I’ve only been here a year, but I love the work and the benefits are generous. The job is very stressful and a bit hectic sometimes but it’s hard to imagine I’ll get everything I have at this job elsewhere, so I plan to stay awhile a while.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: ~$4,825 2x/month
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: $0. I joked with my husband I should start bartending to keep up with my student loan payments and IVF costs, but he wouldn’t stand for it.
Other Income: I sometimes do other work with modest honorariums that probably only bring in around $2k a year. This year is an outlier thought and I will get almost $9k.
Total Income: ~$4,825. I don’t account for other income into my budget and whatever I get just gets chucked towards student loans.
Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1550 (Half of my mortgage. My husband has VA Loan so we didn’t need a down payment for the house, just closing costs, which is why our mortgage may seem a little high. We also live in a HCOL area so this probably seems high but this is not far off from what we paid for rent living in the city, so this wasn’t a hard jump for us financially.
Debt payments: Anywhere from $1700 (the minimum) to $4000, depending on the month.
Utility Bills: ~$200 (I pay)
Cellphone + Internet: $150 (Husband pays)
Subscriptions: $150 (Husband pays)
Car Insurance: $100 (Covers both of us, husband pays)
Dining Out: $150-250. We very rarely go out to eat especially in the past few years because of pandemic and IVF but we’re trying to get in the habit of doing so once a month to enjoy ourselves. We're more likely to order in with UberEats or something. My husband usually pays even though it goes on our joint CC, he usually pays it off.
Shopping: Wildly fluctuates but anywhere from 500 to nothing. The older I’ve gotten the easier it is for me to avoid impulse buys.
Groceries: $1200-1500 – I pay for all groceries and house toiletries like soap, toothpaste, medicine, etc. One of the things we splurge on is high quality meats, organic fruits and vegetables, blah blah blah etc. This lifestyle change hasn’t made any difference in our IVF success unfortunately but we both couldn’t deny how great we felt eating that way, so we continue to do so despite me sometimes wincing at the cumulative cost. I make almost double what my husband does, so I take over a slightly higher percentage of our monthly bills but not by much because we both agreed I should prioritize paying down my student loans. He also covers dog food, treats, and medicine for both our dogs which really adds up and those more random, quarterly house expenses like Home Depot visits, pest control, buying a new mower, lawn care, and other things that come up more than you think (Home owners know the struggle). Once my debt is paid down, we will probably revisit the split of monthly expenses to see what makes sense.
Cleaning: $165/month (I pay) Having a house cleaner is one of those luxuries I would never give up. I’d rather cut back on dining out, shopping, etc if someone could come once a month to clean. We also have two big dogs, so it feels less of a luxury and more of a necessity.
Pet Insurance $80/month, covers both dogs (I pay)
Gas: $300 (I have a long commute and I go into the office almost every day)
Tolls: $225
Parking: $0 Work covers this, thank goodness!
Health Insurance: $0. My work covers health insurance for me and my husband. Huge bonus I don’t take for granted.
Total Expenses: I’ve estimated it is roughly around $6,500 a month at least for my portion of bills, assuming I’ve only paid the minimum of my student loans.
Debt Diary
2006 – Started college at a public university where I got free tuition from a combination of my mom’s job and my good grades. We still owed room and board which my parents covered for the most part and then took out loans to cover the rest when they divorced. My stepdad paid off the remaining balance of around 8k for me in my mid-twenties.
2010 – Graduated and moved to abroad for four years. Got great experience but pay was very low so no savings and no financial planning at all.
2014: Started my graduate degree back in the U.S.. Took out *all* the loans for this to include living expenses (150k). During this time I wanted to be a public servant so I felt confident my loans would be paid off after 10 years through Public Student Loan Forgiveness (PSLF) program. That’s not exactly how it worked out.
2016: Graduated and started my first “big girl” job at 27 making around $75,000 . This is the first time I started contributing to a 401k. I was working for a 401c3 so I qualified to start paying into the PSLF program. My loan payments, based on my income at the time was around $350-400 monthly. I got modest raises over the next few years that brought me to 85k before I switched jobs. During these four years, my student loans ballooned to 170k because I was only paying the minimum.
2020: My husband and I cancel our wedding and honeymoon (covid) but still get married. Got a new job that finally got me a low six figure salary (120k) but was in the private sector so still paying minimum on student loans but no longer was making qualified payments for student loan forgiveness. Thought I might still go back into government/nonprofit world.
2021: Changed jobs – same ish salary @ 125k, still in the private sector. Start what will be many rounds of unsuccessful rounds of IVF. I think the total cost has been somewhere around 80k. My husband’s grandmother has helped us a lot which I quite literally don’t know what we would do without, but it’s still been very financially, emotionally, and mentally taxing. Wasted a lot of money on supplements and acupuncture that didn’t help.
2022: Started at the job I have now. Base started at 175,000 plus 25% bonus. In the first year I got a promotion and a 20% raise, so I now make 210,000. This is when I realize that this is the career I enjoy and will likely not go back government service in the future or at least not long enough to participate in student loan forgiveness program. I also do the math and realize if I continue to pay the minimum of income-based repayment (based on my now much higher pay) I will end up paying 3-4x the loan amount over the course of my life. I decide to privatize my loans and choose a 10 year pay off plan because I want to be somewhat aggressive about it, hence the relatively high minimum payment of $1700. Despite the good interest rate (3% ish) the principal is so high that $400 of that goes to interest. It’s why I’d like to aggressive pay it down now, if for no other reason than to get the interest payments down.
2023: I’m told after many failed rounds of IVF, I’m unable to have genetic children. We start figuring out how we will afford other ways to build our family, all of which cost in the tens of thousands. Fortunately, (?) I’ve gotten my student loans down to 125k.
Now: Between canceling our wedding, our honeymoon, living through a pandemic and years of fertility struggles and awful treatments, I am now re-thinking how aggressively I’ve been paying down debt this past year. Approaching getting pregnant and debt payment both as a sprint and not a marathon has done me no favors. I also just want my husband and I to enjoy life a little bit given all our struggles. We both work so hard, and I want to make sure we’re making time (and money) on the things that make us happy. I also realize we need to figure out how we’ll pay to expand our family which overwhelms me but I’m trying to treat this just as a second marathon, not a sprint.
Reflection
Do I regret my student loans?
Despite my six figure loans living rent free in my mind constantly, it’s hard to regret taking them because I can’t imagine how else I would have built the career I have now, which I love and am very grateful for. My career is everything I always hoped for and more although sometimes I lose sight of that in the daily grind. Grad school was so time consuming it’s also hard to imagine how I would have worked at the same time and made enough money to make a meaningful difference in my bills. And I focused a lot of time on substantive internships that would help demonstrate my ability to shifting gears into a different career which I do think paid off in more ways than one. This new career path that I’m on also opens a lot of doors for me to continue to be a higher earner so in the long run, this amount of debt, while daunting and a bit menacing, is somewhat of a first world problem. It will get paid off. My only concern is if something catastrophic happened, since my loans are private, I would still have a very high mandatory minimum payment. Again, both my husband and I have a lot of job security and could always cash out our investment accounts, heaven forbid something awful happened. I think because the past few years have been so mentally taxing, I have very little bandwidth for regret.
Impact of Infertility
It is probably also worth noting that dealing with years of infertility and infertility treatments only to be told ultimately that I’m unable to have [genetic] children has changed who I am as a person and how I see life. We spent 3 years of our life in a pandemic lockdown and then in back-to-back all-consuming aggressive fertility treatments. I feel like we lost so much time and had very little levity during those times. I still plan on being diligent about paying off my debt and investing, but I want to cut myself some slack and allow my husband and myself to live a little, travel and just spend time enjoying our lives instead of just focusing on destinations (of having children and debt pay off).
Generational Wealth
The city I live in is filled with lots of wealthy people and many a times I’ve been in conversations where people ask where you sailed in the summer and skied in the winter, like it’s a given that everyone does this (lol). Most of the people I went to grad school with had their school paid off from family (plus help with a down payment for a house and wedding costs), and it occurs to me over and over how critical a role generational wealth can play in setting someone up for an incredibly easier life. My husband and I grew up middle class (which still conferred a lot of privilege that is never lost on us) but would like to make sure we have saved money for our [eventual] kids college so they’re not saddled with debt – and thinking about other investment accounts we could open for them to start generational wealth. Without my student loan debt, I could have an additional 200k to invest which would have meaningful impact on my kid’s and kid’s kid’s life when invested correctly. I don’t dwell too much on this though, at least anymore, but rather something I consider when planning for the future. Both my husband and I are still grateful for the advantages and privilege we still did and continue to have. Oddly, getting more interested in personal finance has made me feel more neutral about money which I appreciate.
Husband’s Influence
I also have to credit a lot of good money habits to my husband who was a really great influence on me on the importance of making consciousness steps to get a better credit score, invest aggressively, etc. I was definitely living for a good time not a long time up until I met him lol. We still prioritize spending money on fun without guilt but now I enjoy the process about making sure we’re set up well for the future.
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Thank you for reading. I'm feeling a bit vulnerable talking about this stuff so please be gentle with me :').

Hello, everyone and thank you for taking the time to read my post. Disclaimer everything written here is my opinion/understanding of the situation and should not be considered statements of fact or reality.
Background: I took a position at a staffing agency and was assigned PRN work at a residential alcohol/drug rehabilitation center where I would be preforming light assessments and medication administration. (No care planning or daily documentation on patients... Essentially a medication nurse only)
Issue: The problem... Is that the medications are scheduled to be administered at 4:30pm and 9:00pm during my shift. I come onto the shift at 4:00pm and do not leave nursing huddle until some time after 4:30pm. The census can get up to 70+ patients and this leaves no time to administer all medications at the scheduled time. Also, the Suboxone clinic does not start administering medications until well after 5:00pm and the medications are scheduled to be administered at 4:30pm. With the Suboxone clinic continuing to administer 4:30pm medications past 6:30pm. Also, one person is handling medication administration for all patients. (As in one person does Suboxone clinic and one person does the 4:30pm medications, etc.) I did not witness anyone getting an order or consulting the providers for administering the scheduled medications outside the scheduled medication window.
Issue2: Also, missed 4:30:pm scheduled medications are being administered at 9:00pm. And, 4:30pm/9:00 scheduled medications are being given well into 11:00pm. I did not witness anyone getting an order or consulting the providers for administering the scheduled medications outside the scheduled medication window.
Issue3: Also, PRNs are being administered without verifying orders in the MAR or being documented that the PRN was administered. Also, no pain assessment for pain PRNs or reassessment for pain following the PRN administration in an hour is being done or documented. Which made me concerned that medications were being given without an order.
Issue4: Ibuprophen was being given without food. FSBG were being done after a patient ate their dinner meal and were being administered regular insulin without making food/snacks available just prior to bed. The Suboxone clinic during administration did not utilize two patient identifiers. Only the patients name was in the narc book.
Question: What should I do/ what would you do in this situation? (I am working for a temporary staffing agency not directly for the facility) It is my understanding that all medications must be documented following administration in the MAR even PRNs with standing orders. That patients must be re-assessed for the effectiveness of PRN following an hour. That you have one hour prior and one hour after to administer a scheduled medication. That doing so outside the medication window is a medication error. That regular insulin is short acting and the patient must have something to eat following administration to prevent hypoglycemia. That Ibuprophen must be given with food. Am I over-reacting? What would you do if it is too many patients to realistically give all their medications within the scheduled medication window? Am I required to report this to anyone and if I am who should I report it to?
Update: I talked to my recruiter and they told me that there is a two hour window before and after to give the medication. Does that make sense to any of you? I asked multiple times for a written policy or order and was not provided one to justify giving outside the one hour before or after window. Also, after doing some research I am thinking that the standard of care is now 30minutes prior and after to be considered given on time. Is that the new standard or is one hour before and one hour after still acceptable?

My grandfather has 2 dogs, a Cairn Terrier and an Akita. The have been together since puppies. In the past 2 years the poor Terrier has been attacked 3 times (that I know of), probably 5 or 6 in their lifespan, by the Akita. The past 2 times, the big dog goes immediately for the kill by grabbing the neck, lifting the Terrier, and shaking. The only reason I can assume this has never caused horrible damage is because the poor terrier NEVER gets groomed, so she is covered in dense matted fur.
This just happened again about 10 minutes ago, they both followed me into the kitchen and the second I turn around I see the Akita lunge at the Terrier. I am watching the dogs for him while he is at work, and I'm trying to lure her out from under the bed with treats to inspect the bite, and determine if she is bleeding and needs to go to the vet.
It is very obvious the Akita is his favorite (she attacked me once a year ago and he laughed it off because it was only a couple of scrapes on my leg) and he won't ever discipline her.
I'm just stressed, I need to know what options there are for trying to convince him to get rid of one, which will be hard because they were my late grandmothers dogs.

I’ve posted many times before and spoke to some interesting people but never “the one” and keeping up with the responses got a bit overwhelming.
Yes, my picture is the meme of the 40 something guy who never smiles. I assure you, I smile. Just not in selfies. If you do reply, please also send a picture. I feel it’s fair since I posted one.
I’m 41, single, no children and I live in San Diego. single since 2019. 5’10.5”, 189lbs. Ethnically ambiguous (Latino but people always think middle eastern) INFJ. Virgo. (I don’t put too much stock in that type of compatibility though).
What I am looking for in a potential partner:
I have few and very generic prerequisites. You should be a critical thinker. In the current climate of intentionally misleading headlines and generally biased news, I think being able to suss out what is real and what’s misleading is important.
I value intelligence. Like I don’t require a masters degree but I’d like to feel like the person I’m chatting with is somewhat smarter than me. I can’t 100% say I’m sapiosexual because I do want to be with someone I find attractive, but I’m most attracted to Intelligent people.
I really like people who generally laugh first before getting upset. People who can make a morbid joke in a bad (but not life threatening) situation. Like if you’re on a road trip to Vegas and get a flat tire. You could get really upset… or you could say “welllll I guess we’re going to be late picking up the hookers”.
In terms of introversion vs extroversion I don’t really have a preference. I get along with both. I’m an introvert who is always happy to go just about anywhere as long as you are the one dealing with the traffic and parking :)
I am generally never really bored. If I’m not pondering the nature of existence or having some sort of internal debate, I’m watching science documentaries or on Wikipedia or YouTube falling down a rabbit hole. I know a little bit about a lot of things and have an absurd amount of random but not quite useless information floating around in my head. I love deep talks. But I also love some good old fashioned low brow humor. Except dad jokes. I just can’t get into them.
I’m not religious. You could say I’m spiritual but not in a theological way. I don’t care if god exists and doubt god wound care what my thoughts were. I can’t really say I’m an atheist. I dislike extremes and absolutes. My motto is generally “I could be wrong” and it’s served me well in my times of existential crisis (which have become fewer as I’ve gotten older). I take comfort in my belief that there is no beginning or end. Time is a man made construct and nothing ever really ceases to be, it just changes. I don’t believe I will simply “stop existing” when I die. I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I think those concepts are tied to a superstitious belief in absolute good or absolute evil. And as I said, I dislike absolutes. Even in science, absolute rules are sometimes amended. I do good deeds because I feel like it’s the right thing to do, not for the promise of reward or the fear of punishment. Strangely, even though I’m undecided on the existence of “god”, I regularly look up and talk to god. I believe in its psychological importance. Looking upwards tends to improve optimism. And I am an optimist.
I dated quite a lot in my younger years. I “tried on” a lot of different types of people. I learned to get over people when they weren’t healthy. I learned that I was not the “best boyfriend you’ll ever have” as so many “nice guys” believe they are (before they date much). It’s a valuable experience to figure out you’re not offering anything literally any other person could. You learn that you need to work towards things together and give the other person what they need rather than what you like to offer. Of course there’s always a compromise.
Dating over 40 has been a mixed bag. I’m not great at making new friends or meeting people. The apps required a lot of effort for the minimal responses you get. And the pool of people in my age group was tiny.
I got married at 32 and Divorced at 38. I took the relationship seriously and cultivated the ability to cut conversations with flirtatious people short. That’s a hard habit to break. Especially since I do take the pandemic seriously and have laid low and avoided large gatherings . I made it till December of 2022 without catching Covid!
I have acclimated to things changing as I’ve aged. At first the changes bothered me (receding hairline, slower metabolism, grey hairs in my beard etc) but eventually I came to an equilibrium where I embrace and accept that we all age and change.
As such, I’m not big on plastic surgery or attempts to look younger or “fix” your physical features. I don’t think it’s good for your self esteem. And I think the longer you put off accepting aging, the harder it will be to take when the inevitable happens.
Along the way, I came to the conclusion don’t want to have kids. If you have them, that’s fine. But I’m not looking to procreate. If there was any lingering “maybe” I had, the looming threat of WW3 and a world wide pandemic murdered it.
Nothing is more attractive than confidence. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take care of yourself and always put your best foot forward but confidence is key. Believe it or not, some people like your “non standard” features. And what is the standard, really?
I have IG for photography and can’t help but notice how much everyone filters their pictures and falls prey to the “beauty standards” posted by people who do not meet those standards without heavy editing. The world is full of naturally beautiful people. And I do not see that reflected in social media. I debate deleting it daily but worry about offending the people I only connect with through it.
I am a musician of 25 years (I say that loosely). I’ve been playing guitar for quite a long time. From the moment I first plucked a string (on a broken , hand me down acoustic) I was hooked. It was like a drug. I use to just place my ear to the body and strum. Listening to the rich tone. It would give me shivers. I actually still feel that way. I feel like in some ways, music saved me. Before I found it, I was into drawing. I was quite good but it frustrated me often. Music has never really done that. You can haphazardly create beauty and if you do something wrong, it’s gone and you move on. I love all music but I tend to like things with angst and “oomph” that tend to be (but not always are) guitar driven. To put that into perspective, I love Hendrix and dislike John Mayer. Hopefully that makes sense.
I’m a decent cook. I could go on blathering about how I fell in love with it or what a huge influence Anthony Bourdain was but let’s just say I can’t be with a picky eater. Having food allergies (shellfish, peanuts) means I stare longingly and jealously at people eating the things I can’t. I want to eat adventurously but can’t. So I take great care to appreciate what I can and try what I can.
Photography… I haven’t picked up my camera in months. I actually really love photography. But sometimes you get up and go to shoot…To find the lighting during that time of day is horrible. And I’m not an early riser. So golden hour seems elusive. I love photo walks though. Casually walking and talking with a friend is great. I just don’t have anyone to do it with anymore. I like taking pictures of things rather than people. I like light and deep shadow. Sean tucker is an amazing photographer that captures what I love perfectly. I also love Harry gruyaert. I’m low key jealous of photographers who live in cities which are full of amazing architecture and color. San Diego is beautiful, but not in that way.
I play video games but don’t consider myself a gamer. Right now I’m binging on genshin impact. Before that I played (and loved) both horizon games. I generally play games that can be played with friends and tend to lose interest in anything else. Co op pve is great. PvP is not my thing.
Sports… although I’m not a sports guy, I actually am EXTREMELY into european football (soccer to us Americans). I watch every Manchester United game per season. I watch the champions league (and Europa league if Man U are in it). I dabble in all the big leagues but am most interested in the premier league. And when the World Cup comes around I really make an effort to wake up early and soak it in. There’s something beautiful about it being the worlds sport. There is no dominant race. There is no requisite body type. Short. Tall. Fast. Slow. Strong. Weak. They can ALL play the beautiful game. I love that. Generally, I root for the US first. But once they’re out I would equally root for any team that plays their hearts out.
Ok the essay is over. I think I’ve talked your ear off long enough. You got a snippet of who I am. Tell me about yourself?
I’m hoping to meet someone local or within say a 2 hr drive of San Diego but I am open to anyone who occasionally travels here. And accents are dead sexy. Especially all of the regional British ones.
If I didn’t bore your socks off, I have a ton of posts detailing my views on things. Feel free to browse. Or if you’d rather take the old fashioned approach, feel free to ask whatever you like.
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me

I am 23 years old and I gave up on life, after getting in my own head about things. I did not even have anything externally go wrong for me, but I just grew so disinterested in life - I now feel dead, I am eating all day and sleeping the rest of the day. I have had no human interactions, and I feel like I can string 3 words together only.
I do not have the courage to kill myself but I do not have the courage to live any longer either. So, I have decided that I will spend the rest of my life in a housing for mentally ill - the government will help pay off the rent. The house takes care of food, and living. I have fucked up everything and there is no going back. I feel no remorse for my parents, and they have spent over $150K trying to save me (therpaists, energy healers, technology for depression). But I gave up on life. And I cannot live with them anymore.

I’m a revert and I’ve fasted Ramadan 2 other years, but both were in secret so most days I’d either not eat suhoor or eat very little.
This year I’m eating full meals for suhoor either alone or with my best friend or husband but most if not every time I eat I end up either spending half an hour in the bathroom or nauseous. I wondered if maybe it’s what I was eating but I’m not eating the same thing everyday. I usually have oatmeal, water, and if I go to my friends house I have Indian food. It’s also not just a after I eat kind of thing, I get sick in the middle of the day too out of nowhere.
I’m not going to give up my fast for this issue I just wanted to know if it’s normal or I should be worried and maybe have some advice.
Jzk

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United States - NBA

Denver Nuggets @ Phoenix Suns New York Knicks @ Cleveland Cavaliers Toronto Raptors @ Philadelphia 76ers Los Angeles Clippers @ Memphis Grizzlies Atlanta Hawks @ Brooklyn Nets Sacramento Kings @ Portland Trail Blazers Los Angeles Lakers @ Minnesota Timberwolves Utah Jazz @ Boston Celtics Chicago Bulls @ Charlotte Hornets Oklahoma City Thunder @ Indiana Pacers Orlando Magic @ Washington Wizards Detroit Pistons @ Houston Rockets San Antonio Spurs @ Golden State Warriors
https://gobetaverse.com/league/nba/?graph=today

United States - NHL

New York Rangers @ Buffalo Sabres Detroit Red Wings @ Winnipeg Jets Calgary Flames @ Vancouver Canucks Dallas Stars @ Arizona Coyotes
https://gobetaverse.com/league/nhl/?graph=today

Spain - La Liga

Mallorca vs Osasuna https://gobetaverse.com/league/la-liga/?graph=today

Germany - Bundesliga

E. Frankfurt vs Bochum
https://gobetaverse.com/league/bundesliga/?graph=today

France - Ligue 1

Marseille vs Montpellier https://gobetaverse.com/league/ligue1/?graph=today

Belgium - Pro League

Zulte-Waregem vs Antwerp https://gobetaverse.com/league/pro-league/?graph=today

England - EFL Championship

Burnley vs Sunderland https://gobetaverse.com/league/efl-championship/?graph=today

Spain - La Liga 2

Levante vs Real Zaragoza https://gobetaverse.com/league/la-liga-2/?graph=today

Italy - Serie B

Genoa vs Reggina https://gobetaverse.com/league/serie-b/?graph=today

Germany - Bundesliga 2

Dusseldorf vs Hamburger SV FC Nurnberg vs Darmstadt https://gobetaverse.com/league/bundesliga-2/?graph=today

Poland - Ekstraklasa

Zaglebie Lubin vs Warta Poznan Piast Gliwice vs Gornik Zabrze https://gobetaverse.com/league/ekstraklasa/?graph=today

Croatia - HNL

Slaven Belupo vs Istra https://gobetaverse.com/league/hnl/?graph=today

Mexico - Liga MX

Necaxa vs Santos Laguna Juarez vs Puebla https://gobetaverse.com/league/liga-mx/?graph=today

Argentina - Liga Profesional

Estudiantes vs Newells Rosario Central vs Gimnasia River Plate vs Union Santa Fe https://gobetaverse.com/league/liga-profesional/?graph=today

United Arab Emirates - UAE Pro League

Al Bataeh vs Ajman Al Wehda vs Al Sharjah https://gobetaverse.com/league/uae-pro-league/?graph=today

Japan - J1 League

Kashiwa Reysol vs Urawa RD https://gobetaverse.com/league/j1-league/?graph=today

Egypt - Egyptian Premier League

Ghazl El M. vs Al Ettihad Pharco vs Aswan https://gobetaverse.com/league/egyptian-premier-league/?graph=today

Australia - A League

Western Sydney vs Adelaide Utd Wellington vs Melbourne V.
https://gobetaverse.com/league/a-league/?graph=today

International - Tennis

Daniil Medvedev vs Karen Khachanov (Miami ATP - SF - Hard) Carlos Alcaraz vs Jannik Sinner (Miami ATP - SF - Hard)
https://gobetaverse.com/league/atp-wta/?graph=today

I’ve posted many times before and spoke to some interesting people but never “the one” and keeping up with the responses got a bit overwhelming.
Yes, my picture is the meme of the 40 something guy who never smiles. I assure you, I smile. Just not in selfies. If you do reply, please also send a picture. I feel it’s fair since I posted one.
I’m 41, single, no children and I live in San Diego. single since 2019. 5’10.5”, 189lbs. Ethnically ambiguous (Latino but people always think middle eastern) INFJ. Virgo. (I don’t put too much stock in that type of compatibility though).
What I am looking for in a potential partner:
I have few and very generic prerequisites. You should be a critical thinker. In the current climate of intentionally misleading headlines and generally biased news, I think being able to suss out what is real and what’s misleading is important.
I value intelligence. Like I don’t require a masters degree but I’d like to feel like the person I’m chatting with is somewhat smarter than me. I can’t 100% say I’m sapiosexual because I do want to be with someone I find attractive, but I’m most attracted to Intelligent people.
I really like people who generally laugh first before getting upset. People who can make a morbid joke in a bad (but not life threatening) situation. Like if you’re on a road trip to Vegas and get a flat tire. You could get really upset… or you could say “welllll I guess we’re going to be late picking up the hookers”.
In terms of introversion vs extroversion I don’t really have a preference. I get along with both. I’m an introvert who is always happy to go just about anywhere as long as you are the one dealing with the traffic and parking :)
I am generally never really bored. If I’m not pondering the nature of existence or having some sort of internal debate, I’m watching science documentaries or on Wikipedia or YouTube falling down a rabbit hole. I know a little bit about a lot of things and have an absurd amount of random but not quite useless information floating around in my head. I love deep talks. But I also love some good old fashioned low brow humor. Except dad jokes. I just can’t get into them.
I’m not religious. You could say I’m spiritual but not in a theological way. I don’t care if god exists and doubt god wound care what my thoughts were. I can’t really say I’m an atheist. I dislike extremes and absolutes. My motto is generally “I could be wrong” and it’s served me well in my times of existential crisis (which have become fewer as I’ve gotten older). I take comfort in my belief that there is no beginning or end. Time is a man made construct and nothing ever really ceases to be, it just changes. I don’t believe I will simply “stop existing” when I die. I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I think those concepts are tied to a superstitious belief in absolute good or absolute evil. And as I said, I dislike absolutes. Even in science, absolute rules are sometimes amended. I do good deeds because I feel like it’s the right thing to do, not for the promise of reward or the fear of punishment. Strangely, even though I’m undecided on the existence of “god”, I regularly look up and talk to god. I believe in its psychological importance. Looking upwards tends to improve optimism. And I am an optimist.
I dated quite a lot in my younger years. I “tried on” a lot of different types of people. I learned to get over people when they weren’t healthy. I learned that I was not the “best boyfriend you’ll ever have” as so many “nice guys” believe they are (before they date much). It’s a valuable experience to figure out you’re not offering anything literally any other person could. You learn that you need to work towards things together and give the other person what they need rather than what you like to offer. Of course there’s always a compromise.
Dating over 40 has been a mixed bag. I’m not great at making new friends or meeting people. The apps required a lot of effort for the minimal responses you get. And the pool of people in my age group was tiny.
I got married at 32 and Divorced at 38. I took the relationship seriously and cultivated the ability to cut conversations with flirtatious people short. That’s a hard habit to break. Especially since I do take the pandemic seriously and have laid low and avoided large gatherings . I made it till December of 2022 without catching Covid!
I have acclimated to things changing as I’ve aged. At first the changes bothered me (receding hairline, slower metabolism, grey hairs in my beard etc) but eventually I came to an equilibrium where I embrace and accept that we all age and change.
As such, I’m not big on plastic surgery or attempts to look younger or “fix” your physical features. I don’t think it’s good for your self esteem. And I think the longer you put off accepting aging, the harder it will be to take when the inevitable happens.
Along the way, I came to the conclusion don’t want to have kids. If you have them, that’s fine. But I’m not looking to procreate. If there was any lingering “maybe” I had, the looming threat of WW3 and a world wide pandemic murdered it.
Nothing is more attractive than confidence. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take care of yourself and always put your best foot forward but confidence is key. Believe it or not, some people like your “non standard” features. And what is the standard, really?
I have IG for photography and can’t help but notice how much everyone filters their pictures and falls prey to the “beauty standards” posted by people who do not meet those standards without heavy editing. The world is full of naturally beautiful people. And I do not see that reflected in social media. I debate deleting it daily but worry about offending the people I only connect with through it.
I am a musician of 25 years (I say that loosely). I’ve been playing guitar for quite a long time. From the moment I first plucked a string (on a broken , hand me down acoustic) I was hooked. It was like a drug. I use to just place my ear to the body and strum. Listening to the rich tone. It would give me shivers. I actually still feel that way. I feel like in some ways, music saved me. Before I found it, I was into drawing. I was quite good but it frustrated me often. Music has never really done that. You can haphazardly create beauty and if you do something wrong, it’s gone and you move on. I love all music but I tend to like things with angst and “oomph” that tend to be (but not always are) guitar driven. To put that into perspective, I love Hendrix and dislike John Mayer. Hopefully that makes sense.
I’m a decent cook. I could go on blathering about how I fell in love with it or what a huge influence Anthony Bourdain was but let’s just say I can’t be with a picky eater. Having food allergies (shellfish, peanuts) means I stare longingly and jealously at people eating the things I can’t. I want to eat adventurously but can’t. So I take great care to appreciate what I can and try what I can.
Photography… I haven’t picked up my camera in months. I actually really love photography. But sometimes you get up and go to shoot…To find the lighting during that time of day is horrible. And I’m not an early riser. So golden hour seems elusive. I love photo walks though. Casually walking and talking with a friend is great. I just don’t have anyone to do it with anymore. I like taking pictures of things rather than people. I like light and deep shadow. Sean tucker is an amazing photographer that captures what I love perfectly. I also love Harry gruyaert. I’m low key jealous of photographers who live in cities which are full of amazing architecture and color. San Diego is beautiful, but not in that way.
I play video games but don’t consider myself a gamer. Right now I’m binging on genshin impact. Before that I played (and loved) both horizon games. I generally play games that can be played with friends and tend to lose interest in anything else. Co op pve is great. PvP is not my thing.
Sports… although I’m not a sports guy, I actually am EXTREMELY into european football (soccer to us Americans). I watch every Manchester United game per season. I watch the champions league (and Europa league if Man U are in it). I dabble in all the big leagues but am most interested in the premier league. And when the World Cup comes around I really make an effort to wake up early and soak it in. There’s something beautiful about it being the worlds sport. There is no dominant race. There is no requisite body type. Short. Tall. Fast. Slow. Strong. Weak. They can ALL play the beautiful game. I love that. Generally, I root for the US first. But once they’re out I would equally root for any team that plays their hearts out.
Ok the essay is over. I think I’ve talked your ear off long enough. You got a snippet of who I am. Tell me about yourself?
I’m hoping to meet someone local or within say a 2 hr drive of San Diego but I am open to anyone who occasionally travels here. And accents are dead sexy. Especially all of the regional British ones.
If I didn’t bore your socks off, I have a ton of posts detailing my views on things. Feel free to browse. Or if you’d rather take the old fashioned approach, feel free to ask whatever you like.
​
me

I know real food and drinks are better than supplements but are there any that are good for the liver?

I’ve posted many times before and spoke to some interesting people but never “the one” and keeping up with the responses got a bit overwhelming.
Yes, my picture is the meme of the 40 something guy who never smiles. I assure you, I smile. Just not in selfies. If you do reply, please also send a picture. I feel it’s fair since I posted one.
I’m 41, single, no children and I live in San Diego. single since 2019. 5’10.5”, 189lbs. Ethnically ambiguous (Latino but people always think middle eastern) INFJ. Virgo. (I don’t put too much stock in that type of compatibility though).
What I am looking for in a potential partner:
I have few and very generic prerequisites. You should be a critical thinker. In the current climate of intentionally misleading headlines and generally biased news, I think being able to suss out what is real and what’s misleading is important.
I value intelligence. Like I don’t require a masters degree but I’d like to feel like the person I’m chatting with is somewhat smarter than me. I can’t 100% say I’m sapiosexual because I do want to be with someone I find attractive, but I’m most attracted to Intelligent people.
I really like people who generally laugh first before getting upset. People who can make a morbid joke in a bad (but not life threatening) situation. Like if you’re on a road trip to Vegas and get a flat tire. You could get really upset… or you could say “welllll I guess we’re going to be late picking up the hookers”.
In terms of introversion vs extroversion I don’t really have a preference. I get along with both. I’m an introvert who is always happy to go just about anywhere as long as you are the one dealing with the traffic and parking :)
I am generally never really bored. If I’m not pondering the nature of existence or having some sort of internal debate, I’m watching science documentaries or on Wikipedia or YouTube falling down a rabbit hole. I know a little bit about a lot of things and have an absurd amount of random but not quite useless information floating around in my head. I love deep talks. But I also love some good old fashioned low brow humor. Except dad jokes. I just can’t get into them.
I’m not religious. You could say I’m spiritual but not in a theological way. I don’t care if god exists and doubt god wound care what my thoughts were. I can’t really say I’m an atheist. I dislike extremes and absolutes. My motto is generally “I could be wrong” and it’s served me well in my times of existential crisis (which have become fewer as I’ve gotten older). I take comfort in my belief that there is no beginning or end. Time is a man made construct and nothing ever really ceases to be, it just changes. I don’t believe I will simply “stop existing” when I die. I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I think those concepts are tied to a superstitious belief in absolute good or absolute evil. And as I said, I dislike absolutes. Even in science, absolute rules are sometimes amended. I do good deeds because I feel like it’s the right thing to do, not for the promise of reward or the fear of punishment. Strangely, even though I’m undecided on the existence of “god”, I regularly look up and talk to god. I believe in its psychological importance. Looking upwards tends to improve optimism. And I am an optimist.
I dated quite a lot in my younger years. I “tried on” a lot of different types of people. I learned to get over people when they weren’t healthy. I learned that I was not the “best boyfriend you’ll ever have” as so many “nice guys” believe they are (before they date much). It’s a valuable experience to figure out you’re not offering anything literally any other person could. You learn that you need to work towards things together and give the other person what they need rather than what you like to offer. Of course there’s always a compromise.
Dating over 40 has been a mixed bag. I’m not great at making new friends or meeting people. The apps required a lot of effort for the minimal responses you get. And the pool of people in my age group was tiny.
I got married at 32 and Divorced at 38. I took the relationship seriously and cultivated the ability to cut conversations with flirtatious people short. That’s a hard habit to break. Especially since I do take the pandemic seriously and have laid low and avoided large gatherings . I made it till December of 2022 without catching Covid!
I have acclimated to things changing as I’ve aged. At first the changes bothered me (receding hairline, slower metabolism, grey hairs in my beard etc) but eventually I came to an equilibrium where I embrace and accept that we all age and change.
As such, I’m not big on plastic surgery or attempts to look younger or “fix” your physical features. I don’t think it’s good for your self esteem. And I think the longer you put off accepting aging, the harder it will be to take when the inevitable happens.
Along the way, I came to the conclusion don’t want to have kids. If you have them, that’s fine. But I’m not looking to procreate. If there was any lingering “maybe” I had, the looming threat of WW3 and a world wide pandemic murdered it.
Nothing is more attractive than confidence. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take care of yourself and always put your best foot forward but confidence is key. Believe it or not, some people like your “non standard” features. And what is the standard, really?
I have IG for photography and can’t help but notice how much everyone filters their pictures and falls prey to the “beauty standards” posted by people who do not meet those standards without heavy editing. The world is full of naturally beautiful people. And I do not see that reflected in social media. I debate deleting it daily but worry about offending the people I only connect with through it.
I am a musician of 25 years (I say that loosely). I’ve been playing guitar for quite a long time. From the moment I first plucked a string (on a broken , hand me down acoustic) I was hooked. It was like a drug. I use to just place my ear to the body and strum. Listening to the rich tone. It would give me shivers. I actually still feel that way. I feel like in some ways, music saved me. Before I found it, I was into drawing. I was quite good but it frustrated me often. Music has never really done that. You can haphazardly create beauty and if you do something wrong, it’s gone and you move on. I love all music but I tend to like things with angst and “oomph” that tend to be (but not always are) guitar driven. To put that into perspective, I love Hendrix and dislike John Mayer. Hopefully that makes sense.
I’m a decent cook. I could go on blathering about how I fell in love with it or what a huge influence Anthony Bourdain was but let’s just say I can’t be with a picky eater. Having food allergies (shellfish, peanuts) means I stare longingly and jealously at people eating the things I can’t. I want to eat adventurously but can’t. So I take great care to appreciate what I can and try what I can.
Photography… I haven’t picked up my camera in months. I actually really love photography. But sometimes you get up and go to shoot…To find the lighting during that time of day is horrible. And I’m not an early riser. So golden hour seems elusive. I love photo walks though. Casually walking and talking with a friend is great. I just don’t have anyone to do it with anymore. I like taking pictures of things rather than people. I like light and deep shadow. Sean tucker is an amazing photographer that captures what I love perfectly. I also love Harry gruyaert. I’m low key jealous of photographers who live in cities which are full of amazing architecture and color. San Diego is beautiful, but not in that way.
I play video games but don’t consider myself a gamer. Right now I’m binging on genshin impact. Before that I played (and loved) both horizon games. I generally play games that can be played with friends and tend to lose interest in anything else. Co op pve is great. PvP is not my thing.
Sports… although I’m not a sports guy, I actually am EXTREMELY into european football (soccer to us Americans). I watch every Manchester United game per season. I watch the champions league (and Europa league if Man U are in it). I dabble in all the big leagues but am most interested in the premier league. And when the World Cup comes around I really make an effort to wake up early and soak it in. There’s something beautiful about it being the worlds sport. There is no dominant race. There is no requisite body type. Short. Tall. Fast. Slow. Strong. Weak. They can ALL play the beautiful game. I love that. Generally, I root for the US first. But once they’re out I would equally root for any team that plays their hearts out.
Ok the essay is over. I think I’ve talked your ear off long enough. You got a snippet of who I am. Tell me about yourself?
I’m hoping to meet someone local or within say a 2 hr drive of San Diego but I am open to anyone who occasionally travels here. And accents are dead sexy. Especially all of the regional British ones.
If I didn’t bore your socks off, I have a ton of posts detailing my views on things. Feel free to browse. Or if you’d rather take the old fashioned approach, feel free to ask whatever you like.
​
me

After YEARS of chronic and perplexing health issues, I started seeing some of the same problems in my three small children. We had been passed from specialist to specialist at the children's hospital near us with very little helpful feedback or results, stuck in an endless fruitless feedback loop.
I finally started seeing a functional medicine practitioner and brought my children to her as well. This woman absolutely saved us. She almost immediately knew what was going on and encouraged us to have environmental testing done in the home. Our ERMI test came back at 22. We immediately left the home and moved into a carefully inspected apartment. Mycotoxin tests on my children are high for the toxins produced by the specific molds in our home. Finally we have our answer to what was killing my family.
I worked so hard and tried so hard to get traditional doctors to listen to me and see what I was trying to tell them. They all failed us. After 5 years of me advocating like hell for my family to these "experts", a stroke of luck finding a competent physician (whose head isn't stuck too far up their own ass to actually listen to and help us) was a literal God send for my family.
I am so grateful for her. We have a very long and VERY EXPENSIVE road to wellness ahead of us. Between my three children we are contending with liver damage, kidney damage, mitochondrial dysfunction, neurological problems, lymphedema, thyroid problems, hematological issues, the list goes on and on.
It should be criminal for so many doctors to be so utterly ignorant of how to achieve and maintain true health. When I tried to update some of the specialists we have been working with on what we finally discovered, I was dismissed and mocked. Treated like a crazy person. Well, guess what? A nurse practitioner knows more than you do Mr. High and mighty hematologist, same with the neurologist and the immunologist and the gastroenterologist, endocrinologist, geneticist and the dermatologist, etc. etc.
My husband and I both have serious health issues that likely stem from this mess as well. My beloved 6 year old dog recently passed suddenly from aggressive cancer and I suspect this played a role in her premature death as well.
I feel violated not only by my own home but also all these people I trusted to help me help my family. Our medical system is so corrupt and broken. I have done everything within my power to ensure my children's health and the people who should have been helping me only stood in my way to figuring out what actually was going on. The home I lovingly maintained with only the healthiest foods and lowest chemicals possible, etc etc, was killing my children as well as us adults and our much loved pets. They all have breathed toxins for the majority of their lives at home. The guilt I feel is overwhelming. But I keep trying to rem it and myself that I DID try. It's not my fault. I know this logically, but it doesn't change the fact that there may be life long consequences to their health from this and they will never be able to get back their early childhood where they missed out on so much due to health issues.
I am so lucky that my husband comes from a wealthy family and we have the means to properly address these issues and seek proper recovery. If it wasn't for those resources available to him, we would be absolutely, positively screwed. This is so wrong. We are almost 15k in for medical expenses at this point and are remediating our home to the highest degree possible, including a complete roof tear off and replacing all flooring in the home. The house stuff alone is going to be nearly 75k not necessarily including all new furnishings, etc. This is so overwhelming! I'm so grateful we can technically afford to do these things. It at the expense of my children having guaranteed college funds, but I truly don't think they would have been around fowell enough for college anyways, had we not figured this out and did not handle it appropriately.
Our family and friends think we are crazy, by the way. Thanks for listening to me vent. I needed to get this off my chest to people who won't look at me like I've lost my marbles or something.

I’ve posted many times before and spoke to some interesting people but never “the one” and keeping up with the responses got a bit overwhelming.
Yes, my picture is the meme of the 40 something guy who never smiles. I assure you, I smile. Just not in selfies. If you do reply, please also send a picture. I feel it’s fair since I posted one.
I’m 41, single, no children and I live in San Diego. single since 2019. 5’10.5”, 189lbs. Ethnically ambiguous (Latino but people always think middle eastern) INFJ. Virgo. (I don’t put too much stock in that type of compatibility though).
What I am looking for in a potential partner:
I have few and very generic prerequisites. You should be a critical thinker. In the current climate of intentionally misleading headlines and generally biased news, I think being able to suss out what is real and what’s misleading is important.
I value intelligence. Like I don’t require a masters degree but I’d like to feel like the person I’m chatting with is somewhat smarter than me. I can’t 100% say I’m sapiosexual because I do want to be with someone I find attractive, but I’m most attracted to Intelligent people.
I really like people who generally laugh first before getting upset. People who can make a morbid joke in a bad (but not life threatening) situation. Like if you’re on a road trip to Vegas and get a flat tire. You could get really upset… or you could say “welllll I guess we’re going to be late picking up the hookers”.
In terms of introversion vs extroversion I don’t really have a preference. I get along with both. I’m an introvert who is always happy to go just about anywhere as long as you are the one dealing with the traffic and parking :)
I am generally never really bored. If I’m not pondering the nature of existence or having some sort of internal debate, I’m watching science documentaries or on Wikipedia or YouTube falling down a rabbit hole. I know a little bit about a lot of things and have an absurd amount of random but not quite useless information floating around in my head. I love deep talks. But I also love some good old fashioned low brow humor. Except dad jokes. I just can’t get into them.
I’m not religious. You could say I’m spiritual but not in a theological way. I don’t care if god exists and doubt god wound care what my thoughts were. I can’t really say I’m an atheist. I dislike extremes and absolutes. My motto is generally “I could be wrong” and it’s served me well in my times of existential crisis (which have become fewer as I’ve gotten older). I take comfort in my belief that there is no beginning or end. Time is a man made construct and nothing ever really ceases to be, it just changes. I don’t believe I will simply “stop existing” when I die. I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I think those concepts are tied to a superstitious belief in absolute good or absolute evil. And as I said, I dislike absolutes. Even in science, absolute rules are sometimes amended. I do good deeds because I feel like it’s the right thing to do, not for the promise of reward or the fear of punishment. Strangely, even though I’m undecided on the existence of “god”, I regularly look up and talk to god. I believe in its psychological importance. Looking upwards tends to improve optimism. And I am an optimist.
I dated quite a lot in my younger years. I “tried on” a lot of different types of people. I learned to get over people when they weren’t healthy. I learned that I was not the “best boyfriend you’ll ever have” as so many “nice guys” believe they are (before they date much). It’s a valuable experience to figure out you’re not offering anything literally any other person could. You learn that you need to work towards things together and give the other person what they need rather than what you like to offer. Of course there’s always a compromise.
Dating over 40 has been a mixed bag. I’m not great at making new friends or meeting people. The apps required a lot of effort for the minimal responses you get. And the pool of people in my age group was tiny.
I got married at 32 and Divorced at 38. I took the relationship seriously and cultivated the ability to cut conversations with flirtatious people short. That’s a hard habit to break. Especially since I do take the pandemic seriously and have laid low and avoided large gatherings . I made it till December of 2022 without catching Covid!
I have acclimated to things changing as I’ve aged. At first the changes bothered me (receding hairline, slower metabolism, grey hairs in my beard etc) but eventually I came to an equilibrium where I embrace and accept that we all age and change.
As such, I’m not big on plastic surgery or attempts to look younger or “fix” your physical features. I don’t think it’s good for your self esteem. And I think the longer you put off accepting aging, the harder it will be to take when the inevitable happens.
Along the way, I came to the conclusion don’t want to have kids. If you have them, that’s fine. But I’m not looking to procreate. If there was any lingering “maybe” I had, the looming threat of WW3 and a world wide pandemic murdered it.
Nothing is more attractive than confidence. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take care of yourself and always put your best foot forward but confidence is key. Believe it or not, some people like your “non standard” features. And what is the standard, really?
I have IG for photography and can’t help but notice how much everyone filters their pictures and falls prey to the “beauty standards” posted by people who do not meet those standards without heavy editing. The world is full of naturally beautiful people. And I do not see that reflected in social media. I debate deleting it daily but worry about offending the people I only connect with through it.
I am a musician of 25 years (I say that loosely). I’ve been playing guitar for quite a long time. From the moment I first plucked a string (on a broken , hand me down acoustic) I was hooked. It was like a drug. I use to just place my ear to the body and strum. Listening to the rich tone. It would give me shivers. I actually still feel that way. I feel like in some ways, music saved me. Before I found it, I was into drawing. I was quite good but it frustrated me often. Music has never really done that. You can haphazardly create beauty and if you do something wrong, it’s gone and you move on. I love all music but I tend to like things with angst and “oomph” that tend to be (but not always are) guitar driven. To put that into perspective, I love Hendrix and dislike John Mayer. Hopefully that makes sense.
I’m a decent cook. I could go on blathering about how I fell in love with it or what a huge influence Anthony Bourdain was but let’s just say I can’t be with a picky eater. Having food allergies (shellfish, peanuts) means I stare longingly and jealously at people eating the things I can’t. I want to eat adventurously but can’t. So I take great care to appreciate what I can and try what I can.
Photography… I haven’t picked up my camera in months. I actually really love photography. But sometimes you get up and go to shoot…To find the lighting during that time of day is horrible. And I’m not an early riser. So golden hour seems elusive. I love photo walks though. Casually walking and talking with a friend is great. I just don’t have anyone to do it with anymore. I like taking pictures of things rather than people. I like light and deep shadow. Sean tucker is an amazing photographer that captures what I love perfectly. I also love Harry gruyaert. I’m low key jealous of photographers who live in cities which are full of amazing architecture and color. San Diego is beautiful, but not in that way.
I play video games but don’t consider myself a gamer. Right now I’m binging on genshin impact. Before that I played (and loved) both horizon games. I generally play games that can be played with friends and tend to lose interest in anything else. Co op pve is great. PvP is not my thing.
Sports… although I’m not a sports guy, I actually am EXTREMELY into european football (soccer to us Americans). I watch every Manchester United game per season. I watch the champions league (and Europa league if Man U are in it). I dabble in all the big leagues but am most interested in the premier league. And when the World Cup comes around I really make an effort to wake up early and soak it in. There’s something beautiful about it being the worlds sport. There is no dominant race. There is no requisite body type. Short. Tall. Fast. Slow. Strong. Weak. They can ALL play the beautiful game. I love that. Generally, I root for the US first. But once they’re out I would equally root for any team that plays their hearts out.
Ok the essay is over. I think I’ve talked your ear off long enough. You got a snippet of who I am. Tell me about yourself?
I’m hoping to meet someone local or within say a 2 hr drive of San Diego but I am open to anyone who occasionally travels here. And accents are dead sexy. Especially all of the regional British ones.
If I didn’t bore your socks off, I have a ton of posts detailing my views on things. Feel free to browse. Or if you’d rather take the old fashioned approach, feel free to ask whatever you like.
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me

Anyone know what the food order button is for in myday, like can you order food for your break or is it for requesting what we’re out of for freight? If you don’t know what I’m talking about I’ll take a picture next time I’m working

so many of my friends and classmates don’t eat lunch sometimes. i first noticed one of my 3 person friend group, A just ate something from the school cafe we have such as bread not actual food. i didn’t rly care but then my other friend B (mind u this is a 3-person friend group) just stopped eating lunch altogether which i think caused A to completely stop too.
so i moved to eat with another bigger friend group (of 8+) while they continued to go around not eating by themselves (A&B). after some time B claimed to me that i abandoned both A and B and ran to the other group and that i don’t eat lunch with them anymore. the reason was bc if i were to get my food they would wait with me in the line but then when i get it and sit down they will go to their own cafe line while leaving me eating by myself. by the time they get their tiny snack, i’m already done eating. i found that eating with them was the same thing as just eating by myself. but i felt guilty and started eating with A and B anyways again.
after some time, i got tired and when B got COVID and had to miss a week of school i started just eating with the other larger friend group bc A has other friends to hang out with as well and she clearly didn’t mind. now i have increased my friend group and they overlap in some ways (basically 3 different friend groups overlapping with some other mutual friends included).
theres also C who seems to have lost so much weight since her last school that her ring could easily fall off if she does light exercise. at first i thought it was just because but after i asked she would say i don’t have time to eat. or i have to study instead. (i love C though except the food part). and then recently she felt comfortable enough to tell me that she thinks she might have an ed but in the nicest way possible. C is not really a problem it just adds another person.
D, does not have an ed but she is aware that i am one of the only ppl in the friend group who also eats consistently. therefore she often looks for me and asks “you’re gonna eat right?” to me before anyone else knowing i would say yes. she’s also vegan which makes her diet not as nutritious and she’s also a tri-seasonal athlete which doesn’t help me from comparing myself. D also gets perfect grades but cries, and stresses when she doesn’t get the highest mark.
E. I love E as well she’s someone i’ve found recently that i can hopefully confide more with just not about this topic. she’s very hard working and often skips lunch to study.
The biggest problem is B. whenever i don’t feel like eating she makes comments saying “oh YOU’RE not gonna eat? omg what is happening are you okay?” but then is very derogatory and dismissive when i tell her she should get food with me. however, recently she has just been completely stealing half of my food. i paid for it with my money and she doesn’t get her own claiming she’s not hungry. usually friends will take like 1-3 bits but she stays with me and basically just shares my food that i paid for. she doesn’t even say anything. she enjoys it and always making comments saying stolen food is the best tasting. (no i can’t cut her off i don’t have much time left to spend with her anyways and it would cause so much unnecessary drama cause she also had a victim complex so it wouldn’t go well for me)
it just makes me so upset and triggered with my dad also constantly offering me food items as ways to show his affection which i think is stupid. whenever i’m mad, “want some food?” “is there any food you want” at 11 pm, “omg how are you already full i’m so hungry” “are you hungry? (me: no) oh i am because i haven’t had a single meal today bc i was too busy.” and then my grandparents are always trying to feed me food i hâte while saying “no it’s good! it’s made out of ____” as if suddenly those words will make me like an item of food i never liked? my grandparents and dad are very conservative asians as well so then when i decline if they literally give m a side eye or put the food forcefully on my plate.
it’s just so tiring to have so many ppl around me (basically all close friends) have a bad relationship with food. because of my grandparents and parents i might have an ed where i can’t stop eating. because my friends leave a lot of food, i always feel the need to finish it instead of them which would conclude in eating approximately 2-3 meals for lunch. i’ve cut down on doing this and trying so hard by just finish eating and leaving first. it’s kind of working but it’s just SO FRUSTRATING.
i don’t even know what i’m supposed to do when someone tells me they’re not eating anymore. “no, eat!” ? they won’t, they don’t care what i say. “ok” what if they think i don’t care about them.
i also don’t really expect an answer or advice from any of you guys either, i just wanted to write it out somewhere. thanks :)

Reasons it's not healing Poor blood flow to the area Lymphedema and lymphatic draining The area was so traumatized it's struggling to heal
Looking for advice on what would be the best thing to help finally heal this thing bc wound care has done nothing for the last year but debride no ointments besides occasionally silver nitrate and then more recently some type of grafts but they aren't made from his skin, but Insurance won't pay anymore for more grafts this year.
Something to promote collagen, skin regeneration, blood flow, lymphatic system support, is what I think would help.
I'm looking for suggestions/advice/info/reassurance on any peptides you all would recommend.
But also specifically on: ghk-cu BPC-157 Tb500
Also info on ROA? Topical, Injection, oral, nasal spray? I know some drugs are best taken certain ways so does it matter how one takes them? I'm just about to purchase some Tirzepatide and was going to get some of the tb500 with it, but it's powder and I'm thinking is that the best way to get it? should he be injecting or making caps with it?
I'm so new to this, but I see the potential for many applications. of course wound care Dr had no clue about any of it, though he wasn't against it. he said oh you can get it from food or gnc lol. Well guess what we aren't getting it from food! I'm just hoping to try anything to help him heal bc this has been going on for far too long.

My vote goes to the chickens around the punch bowl for prom. 1 step above laziness would have been putting an assortment of food. It is hilarious to me that they said, fuck it, 5 chickens.

I am not familiar with the area but we’ll be spending about 6 hours there before dropping our people at the airport. What’s the best places to see free or low cost for young adults? That doesn’t require too much driving or searching for parking between stops? We’re not opposed to riding the metro.
We’ll also require coffee and a late lunch, so suggestions around food places are very welcome.
We’re not so much into touristy stuff. The Oakland cemetery looks interesting and Ponce City Market. Any must see parks or art museums?