I hate christmas television show episodes

This is probably a silly question but I'm useless with things like this. For about 15 years I've been keeping track of shows I watch in Excel. It's literally nothing more than "Tue 21st - The X Files 2.1". That kind of thing about 20,000 times
Is there any way at all I can get all of the episodes I've seen and the dates I saw them into trakt without doing it one entry at a time?

We've been together for 4 months and really like her, but she stopped showing interest in me and I have to initiate everything now. We don't really text and only see each other around every two weeks. I've been deep in depression for 2 years and this makes me feel way worse about myself than I felt before we got together. When she likes me I'm happy, and when she ignores me I feel terrible. I don't know what to do to not hate myself and feel like a burden to her and everyone. I think about breaking up a lot, to stop these feelings, but I'm scared of what I'll do without her, she is my only friend.

I don't know why I want to write here about this, maybe to help alleviate my lingering but fading feelings of guilt for enjoying this show. But for the last three weeks I have gone on a journey that gave me one of the most wholesome things in my life, and if anything has helped me immensely coping with my depression.
I also want to apologize for the assumptions and thoughts I held, not that it bothers me but someone really shouldn't take the cover at face value of a book.
Three weeks ago, maybe four to be honest an acquaintance of mine asked me to download a mod for Hearts of Iron called Equestria at War. I am a 25 year old woman mind you that honestly thought of it as just a meme mod. I had known about MLP for years, I remembered vague memories of my sister watching the show when younger but part of me avoided it. Part of me thought it childish. And despite being a woman I have long held a sort of dismay for "overly feminine" stuff.
Yet seeing the writing in that mod, it made me curious. I started googling more things about the show, I found these amazing comments and thoughts from Lauren Faust about how the show was always meant to move away from what older animations for girls held and the value she put into it being accessible by everyone.
I was unsure at this point, but eventually this lead me to Fallout: Equestria. I had long heard about it, and how some people praised it as one of the best Fallout fanfictions out there yet I had always held off on it due to MLP and I found it a bit strange. I guess I still had this image in mind of how weird it was. Then I found myself engrossed in the story, I had trouble putting it down and for some reason the ideas and style just kept me going. So I decided to "ironically" give the original show a try.
1 episode became 2 episodes and eventually 3. I started reading some other MLP fanfiction and kept watching. I feel in love with the characters, every single one of them brings such amazing and varied personailties to the table where I can't do anything but love them. At first I thought Applejack was my favourite, or Rainbow Dash, but now? Its hard to say if at all. Its a story about friendship and love and where everything can be solved. If anything its the first time in forever I have found myself enjoying something not only because of a story but what it does for me emotionally.
This show has given me so much joy, but also other emotions like sadness and laughter. And this is only with the first season. I have honestly felt much better about myself in real life aswell. Even if its tough I find myself knowing that I can indulge in this simple pleasure, even if I at times still think of it as a guilty pleasure.
The last time I found myself as engrossed in this type of work was Steven Universe, but I kinda feel like FIM surpasses that.
I wish I had found this universe earlier, and been a part of the coimmunity growing up instead of being what might be a weird 25 year old woman who loves a show aimed at kids.
But now I can honestly say that I am a pegasister, and proud of it.
Thank you for reading the ramblings of a stranger online, and take care.

I was with this person for almost 2.5 years. We had a very awful relationship for most of it. The first 6 months were great but we started to really pull out the bad and toxic sides of each other. My sister (23F) passed and that was the beginning of the end. They only cared about the fact my libido was down and didn't care enough to support me through the grief. It was almost comical how badly I was treated because my sister died. April last year we finally broke up. I started hanging out with other people and noticed their car following me. They would sit outside my house and wait for me. It only happened twice and after I told them I caught them they stopped. Sadly, I wasn't smart enough to stay away and we started hooking up again. We went back and forth (never getting back together) hooking up and not talking. But in August I finally met someone who was amazing. So amazing I don't deserve them. I am finally healing from my toxic self and learning how to love me again. But they won't leave me alone. It has been almost 6 months and they are still reaching out to me. First it was texts, social media, etc. So I blocked them. Then they emailed me, not once but three times. Demanding I give them back small items they left at my apartment. I continued to ignore these advances but then they teams messaged me at work. "If you don't respond to my email, I will show up to your house unannounced." I emailed back saying "I don't have those items. I haven't responded because I clearly do not want to talk to you. Please stop reaching out to me, I would like you to leave me alone. Do not come to my house or I will contact law enforcement." That was in November. They responded with an ugly message and I didn't say anything back.
They tried to get ahold of me yesterday. I am beyond tired of this. Luckily my current partner knows everything and is very understanding. But I hate that this is happening when I am trying to move forward with my life.
Any advice on what to do would be much appreciated. I don't know about restraining orders or anything of that sort. Advice or ideas?

Festival Estéreo Picnic is being held this Thursday, March 23 through Sunday, March 26 in the outskirts of Bogotá.
Colombian Jukebox has put together a three episode series podcast on how this music festival has become one of the most relevant ones in Latin America. As I tell their story, I play the songs of the 38 national artists and groups that are scheduled to perform this year.
Listen to the podcast and follow for more on the independent music movement made by Colombians.
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The Colombian Jukebox playlist is also updated. The playlist features 25 new tracks made by independent artists and its is updated every 2 weeks!

I am a huge urban-fantasy fan, but there's precious little of it out there that meets my standards. The combination of the mundanely familiar mixed with fantastical and impossible is my favorite genre, especially if it's in the monster of the week format. I've enjoyed classics of the genre, from Narnia to Dresden Files to Stranger Things to Goonies, and the list goes on (though not much longer. For example, I enjoyed but couldn't finish Lockwood and co.)
Oh, and I should probably note: SPOILER WARNING, and also SCROLL WARNING. This is long.
Ever since I heard of supernatural, I'd assumed it was bad. In my mind, it was a darkly lit, broody, shallow show about two highly attractive actors doing things the writers thought "sounded cool" to impress an audience of screaming fan-girls.
This was based on a couple of google searches, while I scoured the internet for intelligent and well written urban fantasy. I read part of a plot summary once, and it said basically "This brother died, then came back, but the other brother died, and then when he came back the first one died now," and I was like "this seems contrived, and kinda boring," Secondly, this show was produced by CW, which has developed a reputation for the kind of writing in their shows. Lastly, it was apparently "very gay" which, while admirable, isn't my taste.
This was an incomplete understanding. A friend of mine said I was good at dissecting media, so here goes. I'm going from memory, so there might be a few errors. It was 12 hours ago.
The first episode opens by establishing character motivations by showing us the inciting incident, and then cuts to the future so we can see how that has effected our characters. We are then treated to both eye and soul candy as one of the brothers is in a wholesome relationship with his girlfriend. This is not something I was expecting, since it will help to create contrast with the darker things happening in the show, making them appear even darker by comparison, and lures the audience into getting invested with these characters. The acting was amateur, but not bad. Kinda reminded me of Buffy, which is a show I adore (Especially the first 4 seasons).
After that, we are interrupted by Brother 2. I do not remember which is Dean and which is Sam, so for the sake of not annoying a lot of people brother 1 is the younger brother who looks like Luke Skywalker, loves the idea of living a normal life, and has resigned himself that there is nothing to be done about the supernatural. brother 2 is older, loves the idea of hunting monsters, and holds out hope. This contrast is layered on with brother 1, the resigned one, being overall more hopeful about the future, while brother 2 is more grim, and puts on a "tough guy" facade (or maybe that was just the acting).
The plot itself was tightly written, and it obeyed the laws of physics and magic it established. I know that might sound like a low bar, especially considering it was a pilot episode, but you'd be surprised how often Hollywood writers mess up obvious physics for no reason. " I mean, it's a supernatural show, so it already doesn't make any sense because magic, so who's gunna notice," BUT I DO, because without physics being consistent, you can't have an understanding of what's going to happen, and it makes it damn hard to have stakes. The physics of earth are right there, and easy to research. For example, I appreciate how the windows explode at the beginning due to a sudden burst of heat. That is both "logical physics" and a cool visual. Sometimes physics go out the window in favor of a cool scene, like shooting out the tires of a car, but doing that shouldn't cause the car to start flipping end over end, unless you don't want to be taken seriously.
This is a good sign moving forward, along with the depth of character that was established in the first scene the brothers meet. So far I've seen Efficient Writing, with scenes accomplishing multiple things at the the same time, and Good Writing, where we've been introduced to people we like, who want to do something, and don't want to do some other thing. I know that's vague, but it's my baseline.
Brother 2 asks Brother 1 to help save their dad, brother 1 is like "Oh, I'm sure he's fiiiiine," and brother 2 is like "there's a chance he isn't, Are you coming?" and brother 1 says "ok, but I have to be back by for an interview," which established a time limit. Brother 2 scoffs at the idea, but doesn't push back very hard because it's what his brother wants. Brother 2 couldn't imagine living like that, getting a job, trying to live a normal life after what happened to their mother, with the whole "being sucked into the ceiling by fire or maybe burned alive" thing. The best part is that the interview immediately creates a looming clock, which will cause conflict if it's not met. If the brothers get stuck out there, brother 1 will miss his interview, and that will be a conflict in their relationship. Neither of them want that.
They hit the road, but what the audience is shown isn't a road trip scene. It's the monster. And we aren't shown it. The first we "see" of the monster is the two bro's analyzing a voicemail from Dad, in which the message is "encoded," or something. I couldn't really hear, since I was whispering back and forth to my cousin the whole time these scene was taking place. I think they said it was on a different frequency or something. Regardless, we hear the words "will you take me home?" coming from an unnerving female voice.
THEN we see the monster. She glitches out of the woods, gets into a random young man's car, and has boobs. My first thought was "why isn't he running, she's acting really odd," but then boobs. But, as my cousin pointed out, he could just think she was a drunk woman on a walk home, who wanted a ride. The fact that they move the camera to show that "she isn't actually in the car" enforces the idea of her being a ghost, without anyone saying it. And we aren't given enough information to know why she's killing people, like it doesn't seem Malicious but it doesn't seem Innocent either. We don't even get to see how he dies, since the camera cuts away before a spray of blood splatters the windows. My cousin said this was for "budget reasons" but I think it's a good writing technique. As a rule of thumb, don't show your monsters abilities right away. Figure them out if you need to, but simply show the results of their actions. Then the audience knows what they saw happen, but they don't know exactly what they were looking at. Stranger Things does this a lot in Season 1. There is an explanation, but we don't get to have that right now, so our mind wanders into dark imaginings. How did she kill him? I guess we'll find out if it's relevant, otherwise it's unnecessary information that degrades of mystery factor of the monster.
Ok, so the two get to town, and I don't remember exactly what happened next. They visit the crime scene, posing as US Marshals with fake ID's. Brother 1 acts like he's not a US Marshal, brother 2 acts like he knows everything, and they get a little bit of information. The cops don't suspect anything supernatural could have caused this. They then go to their dad's apartment, which includes this shot where one of them is standing outside, and the other reaches out a hand and yanks him into the apartment. That kind of creative touch added to my enjoyment of the show, creating a little levity, showing their relationship, and stylizing the show. It's those little details that build up to create a mountain, and part of the reason I'm looking forward to watching episode 2.
Plotwise, the cops show up, arrest brother 2, ask him about all the weird stuff in their dad's apartment (I just realized it was actually a hotel room), and very importantly: The cop tells him him and his dad are a suspect in the case. Why? well, from a meta-writing perspective, you want to amp up the stakes and make the cops a human antagonist. Especially since from brother's 2's perspective, they are. The law is just another thing to get in the way of fighting and uncovering supernatural stuff. But in world, why would the cops suspect a random pair of shifty young men who had a hotel room full of strange occult stuff, and a bunch of pictures of women in a white dress. Well, because that is suspicious. It's not something that's easily understood or explained, and akum's razor indicates they are probably just psycho's going around and creating ghost stories for some arcane reason in their madness. Criminals be crazy. But also, brother 2 is acting antagonistic, was using a false name, fake credit cards, and refuses to elaborate or explain anything. He's already a criminal, so the jump to crazy criminal isn't far.
There is a thing that pulls the cops away, so he handcuff's brother 2 to the desk, and leaves after demanding an answer to a large cryptic note. It was clearly written recently. There are still cops around, and he's handcuffed to the desk. It's convincing, if not entirely realistic for the cop to be this relaxed, especially since he's not a proven "dangerous criminal" just a proven fraudster. But, this slightly unrealistic thing is used to enable something awesome. Brother 2 reaches over and opens the notebook. He grabs a paperclip, and we see him holding it. This is "subtle" writing, since we never actually see him picking the lock, but it's not subtle because everyone knows what he's about to do without being told or shown it. It's engaging, builds his list of skills, and his disdain/deference for the law. Efficient Storytelling baby!
I would like to note that there is a part earlier with Inefficient Storytelling, but it's excusable because it was both too subtle and too on the nose. When Dean and Sam first go outside to brother 2's car, he opens a compartment to reveal a bunch of weapons. The modern audience is aware of what the show is "vaguely about" and the presence of the weapons tells us he uses them. Brother 1 then says the line "we were trained to be warriors," which felt off because both people knew this information. It comes off as awkward, and inn inn-efficient. We already knew this! They already knew this! Why is it here?!?! WELL, it's because this is a pilot to a show with no future. Nobody knew it would take off. Nobody's knows if the general audience is going to pick that up from the way they've been speaking to eachother, or the oodles of weapons. A lot of people turn their brains off when they watch T.V, and they don't want to have to work to pick up essential information. "We were trained to be warriors" also fills in the time gap some, shows their relationship with their father by the way he says it, hardens the differences between the characters "one turned away to become normal, and the other accelerated to become a hunter, to the point where he's getting permission to go on solo missions,"
Interesting Trivia: At this point I took a pause to get a drink of water, and scrolled back up. I think I'm probably either 1/2 through or 1/4 of the way through the post.
So far, the plot has led from action to reaction to action smooth as silk, with nuggets of interest building up along the way. There are several questions hanging over the characters, pushing them forward. If I remember correctly, this is when brother 1 goes to the old man, and accuses him of infidelity. His reaction is an answer, and brother 1 runs into the ghost. I really don't remember the order of events after this, but basically what happened was: brother 1 is driven to the ghosts house, she starts to seduce him, he flat out refuses so she transforms, sticks her fingers into his chest, and does "the big suck" with her fingertips. Brother 2 shows up and shoots out the windows of the car to distract the ghost, which gives brother 1 enough time to hit the gas and ram the car through the side of the house. This allows the ghost to reunite with her children, and (after the only special effects I disliked. They were horrendous) she is at peace. There is a small sense of finality on one of the big questions: "what's going to happen with the ghost?" but we still have "what's going to happen with their dad, what did happen to him, etc" and "what's going to happen with the Interview?"
So brother 2 tries to tempt brother 1 into coming with him to find Dad, but brother 1 wants to go home. There's a bit of adorable banter, and then brother 1 is home. Here's where the show surprised me. I was expecting stuff and this point, trying to predict what would happen next. Logically, and heartbreakingly, brother 1 has to go with brother 2. I mean, that's the whole point of the show. But how to do it? As a writer, you have to break the character's underlying motivation for staying. You have to disprove brother 1's philosophy that "a normal life is possible" but how? Well, the episode was already about infidelity... well, not exactly. It featured infidelity of a husband, and brother 1 did the interviewing of that guy. AND there's are sounds in the apartment when brother 1 enters it. Something is going on upstairs. So, I assumed brother 1 would go upstairs, find his lover cheating on him (despite there being no foreshadowing for this, and in fact she shut down brother 2's advances), and realize that a normal life wasn't possible because he can't trust girls, or something. BUT IT'S SO MUCH WORSE... uh, I mean better.
Brother 1 goes upstairs to find the bedroom empty, despite the sound. He then finds his wife stuck to the ceiling, and the audience knows exactly what comes next because we saw it all in the beginning. Every step, from the fire to the stunned expression, to the pain, to brother 2 dragging brother 1 out of the burning apartment. This is so perfect!
For all he knows, She loved him to Last. Brother 1 has no hope for a normal life anymore because he is to become his father, a man who's wife was murdered by magnetic ceiling fire. Why? We'll find out at some point. But this is so good!!! The brother who is least like the father now has a massive parallel with him. He can no longer believe that it's possible to live a normal life and ignore the supernatural. He has a responsibility to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen to normal people. And!!! this puts him in contrast with his brother, who has already been shown to be a "heyyy girl," type of guy. Brother 1 will likely have trouble with another girl, as his lover loved him to the last. Perhaps he should have told her more, enough to be prepared. Perhaps there was something he could have done...
Those are my thoughts. I loved it, the characters are deep and developed while fitting into the familiar archetypes of Lumberjack and Homemaker, and I'd really like to talk about my cousins "New paper nitpick" but I don't have time. I'll be back to read comments. Ideally don't spoil anything too big for me, but I don't mind. This show looks awesome, and I look forward to watching it all throughout the rest of my life.

What follows is the transcript of a piece I wrote for a (UK-based) radio show a couple of years ago, so apologies in advance for the slightly odd phrasing and the presumption of a certain level of knowledge of Eurovision Song Contest history.
Anyone who'd followed the build-up to the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest would have been forgiven for wondering if the entire event was losing its mind.
To begin with, the 1974 contest was held in Brighton in the UK, despite the fact Luxembourg had won the previous year. Normally the winner claimed the right to host the next pageant, but Luxembourg declined as 1973 was its second successive win and the cost of hosting Eurovision twice in a row were too much for the diminutive nation to bear.
Not to be outdone, the UK involved Australia in the contest 41 years before its official debut by choosing Olivia Newton-John as its representative. She courted further controversy by disagreeing with the entry the public voted for and stating afterwards that she'd wanted to sing something else.
This was after France pulled out of the competition at short notice, as it clashed with a memorial service for its former president Georges Pompidou, who'd died in office four days previously. Malta also withdrew, but mysteriously neglected to tell anybody why.
Greece competed for the first time in 1974, but did so under the worst possible conditions, sending a substitute performer after their original entry – rock group Nostradamus – were involved in a scandal involving a rape allegation related to a possible blackmail attempt.
Then the Italian state broadcaster refused to broadcast the competition for the most Italian reason possible: the country was in the middle of an intense referendum campaign over whether to legalise divorce. It was argued that the country's entry – entitled “Si” – could be construed as subliminal message to vote “yes” in the referendum. So although Italy still competed, the song was banned from Italian media.
Ultimately, Sweden triumphed with an entry called 'Waterloo'. The writers and performers of the song were a band called ABBA, who used it as a launchpad for a decade-long career in which they sold over 150 million albums and more or less conquered the world.
Amid these shenanigans, observers would have been forgiven for overlooking the Portuguese entry on the night. Most voters certainly did, meaning Paulo de Carvalho's Vegas-style ballad 'E Depois do Adeus' ended the night 14th and equal last alongside Germany and Switzerland, having received only 3 points.
However, certain extremely influential individuals were listening, meaning that Carvalho's song ultimately left a greater mark on history even than ABBA's.
At the time, Portugal was ruled by a brutal quasi-fascist dictatorship known as the Estado Novo, or “New State”. By the early 1970s, this regime was increasingly unpopular due to its oppressive policies and the immense human and financial costs of Portugal's ongoing colonial wars in its African and Asian colonies.
On April 24 1974, 19 days after Carvalho's Eurovision performance in Brighton, a radio station in Portugal's capital, Lisbon, played 'E Depois do Adeus' at 10:55pm. On this signal, an organisation of politically left-leaning Portuguese military officers known as the MFA launched a coup.
The MFA broadcast appealed for the public to stay indoors while it was taking place, but on hearing that someone was trying to overthrow the hated Estado Novo, thousands of civilians took to the streets armed with nothing but red carnations. They gave the flowers to the MFA troops, who wore them on their uniforms and placed them in their gun barrels.
The military coup became a popular movement. Within hours, the “Carnation Revolution” had deposed the Estado Novo with barely a shot fired.
'E Depois do Adeus' translates into English as “and after the farewell”. The following year, Portugal held its first democratic election in nearly half a century.
The song.
The show.

I have copies of scripts for the two episodes that were supposed to air after the final 9th episode that were supposedly never filmed. They are called "Icarus Ascending" and "My Enemy's Enemy." They would've been the 10th and 11th episodes.
IMDB lists those as actually being filmed, plus another episode that I had never previously heard of before it popped up on IMDB called "A Great or Little Thing." The trivia mentions that they aired in Italy. Now IMDB accepts user submissions, but this show is so obscure it seems strange that someone would make fake pages and write fake trivia for it. I know that the show did air in Italy because when looking for info I found a cast list of actors who dubbed the voices for the show when it played there, but I couldn't find anything about what episodes aired.
A Google search of "EZ Streets" + "A Great or Little Thing" found a Russian site with a bio of one of the show's writers that mentions it.
An IMDB poster claimed to have met actor Saviero Guerra, who had a recurring part on the show, and he said that 14 episodes had been filmed.
TV Guide listed the supposedly never filmed episode "Icarus Ascending." The episode description sounded just like the script I have. The episode guide is now gone.
At the suggestion of people on another subreddit when I posted about the show previously, I contacted one of the writers of the "unfilmed" episodes (as well as one of the ones that aired) who's now a college professor. He told me that he wrote two episodes and that he knows for a fact that both were filmed, but he doesn't know if they aired. I have copies of scripts from all of the episodes that have aired. He's only credited with writing one of them, so if he's sure both his episodes aired, one must be one of the "lost" episodes.
I also bought a press kit for the show off of eBay, and it includes a still from a scene that's not in any of the known episodes. Now it could just be from a cut scene, but nothing resembles it any of the scripts I have.
I tried contacting Paul Haggis on Twitter. He (unsurprisingly) didn't reply. Neither did David Shore who's one of the writers of one. I could find no way to contact the last writer, Robert Moresco. I also tried contacting Universal, whom I'm pretty sure owns the show now, but also got no reply.

We all know Catfishing is bad and the show makes it clear that catfishing is bad. Of course because someone was hurt that doesn’t give them the right to hurt and trick others. Of course.
But it’s almost even more sad to me how outcasted people feel. I’m always more fascinated with the light it shines on how cruel we are in American schools and society to people that are othered (fat, dark, short, disabled etc) and that these people are so lonely they’re driven to catfish others just for attention and affection they can’t receive in their own bodies.
Plus one other thing I wish the show would touch on is that most of these people being catfished and in love would accept the catfisher fully back into their lives romantically if they looked at least equally attractive. They don’t really care about “trust being broken” lol. I remember this happening on one episode I believe.

One of the biggest things that frustrates me about psychiatry, is that it makes our Precious and Invaluable lives, trivial.
Ever tell a psychiatrist, nurse or their team about a certain side-effect you may be experiencing? Often, the response is one of indifference, and mock-sympathy. And when I say mock, its the fact that they are not truly--in anyone shape or form--that heavily invested in our well-being; despite the very premise of this Evil, Sickening and Damaging industry being that they are here to supposedly help us with our minds, and "problems;" PROBLEMS, that they often have been inflicted on us, by these very same criminals.
I personally will never tolerate, and think it to be okay, to tie an individual to a bed, Chemically sedate them--and then tell them in the politest way possible, upon waking up traumatized: "A doctor will be here to see shortly." Ofcourse, after we've been forced into their hospital outfits: Even our clothes, are stripped bare from our bones. But losing individuality, and self-expression is but the least of our problems. What I am truly frightened of us, my cognitive-functions drastically slowed down so that I may always be tired, lethargic; tolerable, suddenly complacent with no drive, motivation or JOY. I am numb, I am fed-up, and the world still spins, still goes on without so much as a care about my declining health, and those of the many patients around the world, forced to unwillingly take mind-altering drugs that change the very fabric of our being and who are.
Yesterday, when I'd been casually browsing Instagram; I'd come across a video of Supermodel Gisele BÜndchen dancing happily, her enigmatic smile, radiant and joyous. I'd opened the comment section, thinking that there'd be just as delightful feedback, commentary at her dancing, and perhaps, her obvious beauty as well: but no, there was a whole world of outcry; people felt personality attacked, it seemed, heated and frothing at the mouth, due to perhaps what could be described as both self-hate and jealousy. I am proud of this woman and her success, but the point I am getting at is here: While some of us our bed-ridden at times, developing all sorts of world-shattering and devastating side-effects that are literally wreaking havoc on our lives, even DEBILITATING some of us; some are getting riled up about a random woman, dancing. This really puts into perspective for me, how some people's lives are so easy-going, that they are blind to the suffering of the millions right in the nook and cranny, of their own fellow-citizens.
We are made to be second-class citizens. My psychiatrist in particular even telling me that; "We are essentially taking away your basic human rights," Oh thank you for further enlightening me on my circumstance and unfair treatment. I've lost my some of my health, my dignity and within me rages a storm that will some-day let loose; creating chaos, and global awareness of the horrors that happen in mental "Hospitals." I am quite unsure of how the medical world, the actual sciences truly functions; but I've lost all faith in a subject I once loved: Psychology. As a teen I read thick-textbooks on the subject of the mind; read article after article on Psychology Today. I was intrigued by the mind. But anyone who is on the other side of this proverbial fence; the one's who aren't the patients; have a more, sugar-coated, comfortable position; their world of psychiatry is not the same as the horror we have had the misfortune of experiencing. I mean, these people, are literally profiting and making a comfortable living and salary; from our continued suffering.
Some of the side-effects of the medication I'm on (Abilify) are immensely uncomfortable, debilitating and progressively damaging the longer you're taking taking this pharmaceutical; but one of the most horrifying of these side-effects, is, Suicidal ideation. Imagining someone taking their life, and ending their very existence, because something someone had forced them to unwillingly take. That is called RAPE; yet everyday, people have to endure this unfair circumstance. I myself, never thought of suicide until I was put on Abilify. In fact, I would never end my life, because I love myself too much; but the numbness, lack of emotion and extreme physical fatigue, dramatically lowers my Quality of Life, to the point I lost sight of what's important and of my goals, dreams, ambitions. And these very goals I'd just mentioned, help me to End the Crime Against Humanity that is known as Psychiatry:
Why did I mention Gisele BÜndchen earlier? Because imagine for a moment a Supermodel worth a mind-boggling $400 Million having had the mistreatment and history of Forced Psychiatry. I am 28 years old right now, and By age 30 or 31, I plan to move to New York; find a well-established and respected modelling-agency; network; expand my Instagram presence; get my story, face and MIND recognized by the masses. I practice Yoga, Swimming, Dancing, Weight-Lifting, Run in the warmer seasons; and walk endlessly about town; a true daily marathoner: Why am i telling you this? Because my efforts, and continued self-discipline to be at my very best, and slowly but surely improve; will not be wasted. I will further develop my mind's sharpness by reading books, practicing drawing and learning random new things; an article of knowledge here, an article of wisdom there: Its the small, incremental progression that adds up to a lot.
I will walk the world's best and most coveted Fashion shows; artistically displaying luxurious fabrics, designs and clothing made by fellow artists and Fashion Designers. My walk is both elegant, and powerful; neither feminine nor masculine; but like the sheer power of a lions gait; purposeful, precise. I am angry, even when I am happy; and I will use this as fuel, to come alive further, to embody the lion's majestic, and strong presence. When a potential job declines me; no worries, I will not sob, cry and feel rejected; but politely say my farewells; and onto, the next potential job offering; This is New York, after all; jobs are aplenty. I just have to get there first. I just have to save $20,000 first; which is why I will likely start at age 31, still young and in my prime, and not at age 30: I need security and a safety net, for when I first get to New York, and for times where I am not book jobs. Slow days and weeks are possible. As you can see, I am driven, and I have a goal.
Each of us are an integral part to end this lack of respect for the sanctity of human lives; to take advantage of people, at their most vulnerable; is sadistic and immensely sad. Think of the domino effect; a chain-reaction emits with the fall of one Domino, cascading down. One individual, can have a big impact. Think Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Aristotle, Bruce Lee; they will forever be known through-out human history and have had a big impact on society and the world as we know it. Often, most of the individuals I'd mentioned had overcome and experienced a lot of strive, struggle and challenges; but they used that to be heard, and have a voice. And I too, will get there some day: through Modelling, Acting, Writing, and anything else that may come along this life journey, devoted to raising awareness of The Evils of Psychiatry.

I am going through so many different emotions
I’m sad that he felt like he had no other option. Im sad that he felt that alone. That he had no one there for him. None of his friends suspected anything. He was always so happy, but I know he had his struggles. I never thought the would actually follow through.
I’m angry that he did that. I keep crying and just screaming at the ceiling. Why did you have to do this? You didn’t have to do it this way. Why weren’t your kids enough for you to stay? Just, why
I feel tremendous guilt. I know I was the only person is his life at the time that actually made him happy. I know he had a terrible childhood, struggles with the mother of his children, battling cancer. And then his mom died. They were never really close but it still hurt him. I had my own issues too and I wasn’t able to be there for him like I should have been. Then I found out he had stolen from me, and I had to end the relationship. I still tried to talk to him and work things out, but he wanted all or nothing. I needed time. So I had to cut him off. And then his grandmother who raised him passed away. I don’t know what happened to him after this.
He always crossed my mind and I wanted to reach out again. But I needed to work on my own issues, and I wanted him to work on his. When we broke up, I hand wrote him a letter telling him all I wanted was for him to be happy. We had the conversations before. He told me the thoughts he had. He told me how he didn’t want to get older. He told me he couldn’t live anymore without me in his life. I always told him that I’m nobody, I’m nothing, and he needs to stay here for his kids. To just please be happy.
I never had the connection we had with anyone else. Not before him, and not after him. He made me happy. He brought my confidence back. He showed me how a relationship could be and should be. And he told me how happy I made him. I made his life worth living. He always had a smile, always laughing.
We hadn’t spoken in about a year but I thought about him often. I found him on Hinge over summer and tried to match with him, but no luck. Then around Christmas time I seen he had viewed my TikTok profile. It’s like we always crossed paths online but neither of us sent that first message. This past Thursday night I had a random notification on my Instagram that made me think of him so I went to his profile. I seen he was still single, and I debated reaching out to him. I ultimately decided not to, I didn’t want to open up any wounds if he had finally healed. The next morning he was gone.
I really wish I would have just reached out. I feel like it was a sign from the universe that he needed me at that moment. I don’t care what anyone says. I know if I had reached out, I could have saved him. I would’ve stopped him. I would’ve made him change his mind. He would still be here, and no one would be feeling all this pain.
I’m so sorry.

I really hope that this is just me being irrational and they had good intentions, but I was looking on twitter and I saw this post related to YG’ new group Baby Monster. Basically, it’s a “candid” video to show the girls’ personalities I assume, but the video comes from a camera mounted in their bathroom.
Considering how YG already got backlash due to the fact that half of the members are minors, with the youngest being 13, I just can not believe they didn’t see how creepy that is. I assume, or at least I hope, that they got the members’ consent before putting it there, but the fact they even thought of it is incredibly weird. I’m sure there’s plenty of content they could have gotten that doesn’t come from the bathroom.
After this and YG’s history, I just feel a bit uneasy. Obviously, this isn’t to hate on the members themselves, I just can’t help but be a bit concerned. All I can hope is that they don’t pull anything else and keep their best interest in mind.

This series so far has had an AMAZING group of actors portraying so many different apocalyptic life situations they find themselves in. Kathleen and her revenge with “kids die every day .” Or Bill and Frank either of them were just FANTASTIC but I see them as a bottle episode duo. Sam and Henry knocked it out of the park with the deaf sign language communication .
But I must say that Nolan Norths portrayal of “David” the struggling snow bound resort communities leader was the greatest performance outside of Ellie or Joel that I saw on the show . He was so charismatic and confident and kind in his original meeting with Ellie but all the signs were there . “You’re a good hunter, we didn’t even hear you coming.” Are his first words to her and that was his compliment but truly his interest PIQUED about this girl . She warns them if anyone else comes they will get one - “Right between the eyes.” He finishes , which looking back shows he was not afraid in any way .
And then the story beside the fire between him and Ellie flips on it’s head when he says “And that crazy man was traveling with a little girl, see I told you everything happens for a reason.” Ohhh man that is when we realize this guy is more than what he seemed . Cut to him slapping one of his own , a small girl for talking, to reinforce his fcked up power dynamic . And then to watch it get even WORSE .
His conversations with Ellie while she’s caged are very calm and collected even when she realized they were eating people he tries to reason with her saying what else were we supposed to do ?! But then his worship of the Cordyceps saying that “They love…” was BONE CHILLLLING. It turns out this guy is actually a cult leader ,cannibal ,sexual assaulter and predator …preacher who just wants a child bride and his admission of having an evil heart comes out and is seen when he is going after Ellie in the burning cabin.
This guy had a HARD role to pull off and he did it so well. Being the creepy guy probably isn’t exactly what he wanted but he killed it and I remember almost all his lines because they are so cunning or logical then they are sick and twisted and unspeakable . Bravo to him for this portrayal as he will forever live as one of the most dangerous villains I have ever known in fiction , Voldemort, Euron Greyjoy (Books only) even the joker . This guy was incredible!
Anyone else have their pick for the best character actor ?

(TLDR at bottom)
Hello, and thank you for clicking on this post.
I am currently serving on a ship as an E4 with almost 3 years in service. Got onto my ship a little less than a year ago, and already managed to get most of my upper COC to have a bit of a sour opinion of me.
Currently I am trying to get a conditional release from the navy, join the air national guard in another state, and attend AFROTC at one of the state's colleges. I'm sure you can tell already that this is a rather complicated pipe dream, but I truly do desire to commission, and as strange as it seems. This is the quickest and easiest way to do it unless I want to spend years enlisted, or risk potentially burning myself out with serving and going to college.
A bit of backstory:
My first month onboard I made the mistake of telling my COC that at MEPS I was led to believe my rate was a heavily computer involved rate, (it is not) and that I never had any desire to be anything but a computer technician. Some of my COC did not like that. Now I'm not going to sit and blame the navy for the people who led me to believe my rate was about computers, since ultimately the responsibility lies on my shoulders. However, since that happened I decided I wouldn't let anyone prevent me from getting what I was promised in exchange for service to my country. I have been working with people in the air force and air national guard to get this done, and am currently writing an essay to my CO and ECM regarding my desire to commission and why I should be allowed to do so.
I have the paperwork for the NAVPERS MILPERSON 1910-102, a request for conditional release form, a NAVPERS 1306/7 request for release, confirmation from my COC that my rate is overmanned on our ship so losing me wouldn't affect them, and my enlisted community overview showing my rate is either overmanned or meeting manning requirements in all ranks across the navy. I am in contact with an air national guard recruiter who has sent me required paperwork, have contacted officers in the air force who have confirmed that once I finish AFROTC I would be able to transfer into the air force as an officer, as well as have enrolled in a college offering AFROTC. As I stated previously I am currently typing out an essay to my CO and ECM to try to convince them to release me for this endeavor.
Well, there the problem lies. Not only do I have to convince my CO to release me, I have to convince my ECM, and even Big Navy themselves. All during a time when enlistment and retention is at an extreme low. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to achieve that. To top it all off my ECM is not allowing people to rerate despite our status as being overmanned, and I have a little under 4 years left on my contract. I also haven’t really been able to get any impressive qualifications or leadership positions due to my ship's current environment, and being sent TAD multiple times. So honestly, my chances are really not looking too great (basically a big fat 0 chance), and I understand that. However I'd like to at least say I tried everything in my power to achieve this goal.
I am asking reddit for help not because my entire ship is incompetent or full of villains/fools, it is not, but because while I have found a few people who helped me go about this path (it's how I got the right paperwork, thanks Chief), I have also had a hard time finding people that 1) are willing to help instead of just laughing or taking it as a personal insult that I don't want to be enlisted 2) are trustworthy/reliable/actually want to help 3) are able/knowledgeable enough about the subject to help. It's also hard asking around when there are a few people in your COC that hate what you are doing and are also in charge of you. (not a good combo)
There is still a lot (a lot) I have left out, as I don't want this to become a tangent or a pity party. Nor did I want to try to sell myself as a great sailor here (I'll leave that noise for the CO and Big Navy’s ears.) So I will just leave you with my closing statement/request.
TLDR: TLDR: TLDR: TLDR: TLDR:-------------CLOSING STATEMENT-------------TLDR: TLDR: TLDR: TLDR: TLDR:
I am new to the navy and my ship. I have already lost some trust from my COC, and vice versa, but I truly desire to be able to come to terms with any mistakes I have made, move on from them, and to also be put into a situation where I can grow as a person and leader. I am willing to do whatever steps necessary to get me there as quickly and efficiently as possible. Because of that, I personally do not feel as though staying in the navy as enlisted will be conducive to the future I am working towards.
I have received help from certain members of my COC, ship, and service members from other branches, however due to the nature of this request not many people know the exact steps. I also have a hard time trusting members of my ship I don't know, and so am reaching out for help online.
If you or someone you know can in any way help explain the process, the steps I need to take, proper formalities taken when writing an essay to CO/ECM/Big-Navy/etc, and any way for me to improve my chances of being released, I would greatly appreciate it. I have done a lot of work and research on my own, but have realized I may need a helping hand. Thank you.

So I've (37f) just reconnected with my brother (41m) who lives in NY state and it's very obvious that he needs medical care (including mental health). I am trying to figure out if he qualifies for Medicaid. He has a very weird living situation and I am worried about how this could affect his income requirements. My brother has no income, he and his wife (who I'm not entirely sure is legally his wife) live with another man. I believe they have a very unconventional relationship, I am not judging it. I know that this man lets the two of them live in his house (and this has been going on for years), and I'm 99% sure they do not pay rent (although I can certainly ask). From what they tell me I gather that this man is pretty well off financially. I believe this man also buys them the essentials (food, minimum self-care supplies). My brother still wears the same clothes he's had for years and mentioned that he has no money to buy any others, so I know he doesn't get an additional spending allowance. He gets a nice annual monetary present from my parents every Christmas (who want to help but due to family dynamics, religion, and the unconventional living situation, are kept at way worse than an arm's length away), but this is basically the only money he gets each year that is his alone.
My brother is on the spectrum, his wife has Aspergers. My brother also has ADHD, and deals with crippling anxiety and depression. He cannot fill out forms by himself, it sends him into panic attacks. I have offered to help do research and see if I can help him get on Medicaid. He thinks he has lupus (based on what I've seen I think he might be right), but he doesn't have a diagnosis because he's been without health insurance for the better part of a decade. He has episodes where he hurts so badly he has to walk with a cane. He is in no condition to get a job. I've been working very hard the past few months to earn his trust and let him and his wife know that I am a safe space, so I think I'm finally situated where I can ask questions about his life and get straight answers. At the same time, I don't want to try to force them to share information with me that they may want to keep private. So I'm trying to figure out what questions I NEED to ask to help him identify if he can qualify for Medicaid. Do I need to know if he's being claimed as a dependent by this other man? Do I have to include this other man in their "household income"? Can he claim this man is just a roommate? Would we need (or would it help) if we set up a rental agreement for a minimal amount (like $25 a month) that I paid for him to live there? I don't have a lot of money but I want to help where I can.
Thank you in advance to anyone who can help me!

Bear with me here as I'm finally trying to get back into reading. It's been almost a decade so the ones I've read and liked were YA, but I'm open to more.
I've been on a kick with disaster(survival?) movies and books lately and I'm running low on actual good content. Goodreads hasn't been very helpful with what I'm trying to find so I'm hoping to get some good suggestions here.
Looking for something in the style of 2012/Day After Tomorrow, or the Revolution television series. Preferably NOT military/government heavy. I hated One Second After.
I've read and liked Life as We Knew It, The Num8ers series, & The Monument 14 trilogy. The Rule of Three was decent, and I'm about to finish the Plague Land series. Also enjoyed In The End/In the After (similar to A Quiet Place).
May or may not need to edit this part as I've just found this sub and I'm unsure if this has to be a separate post but I would also be open to zombie-esque books. I liked the All of Us Are Dead series on Netflix, a book called Dead Stop by D. Nathan Hilliard, & Unfed/Undead by Kirsty McKay.
Read and disliked (so I'm not wasting anyone's time with these suggestions): The Water Wars, First Activation, When the Dead, At the End, Day One, Zoo, Empty, No Safety in Numbers, The Infects. And obviously, One Second After.

my (17f) boyfriend (17m), who i’ve been going out with for two months, has a friend group and he has lots of close female friends too. this doesn’t bother me but what does kinda bother me is he used to have sex with one of the girls in the group. they stopped a few months before me and him met.
it’s just that every time they’re near each other i get some irrational anxiety, and i absolutely hate whenever he shows affection to her or they touch in any way, even though they’re just friends now, she has a boyfriend too. he even had her shirt (and wore it.) when we started dating which i asked him not to wear anymore.
he knows i get insecure and he showed me their dms even tho i didn’t ask, and i was left even more insecure because he texts her with hearts or sends her things that remind him of her. if they haven’t had sex in the past i’m not sure if their communications would bother me or not, but with my knowledge it bothers me a ton despite him saying there’s nothing going on, which i believe.
how do i remove this stomach sinking and anxious feeling every time she’s around? i find myself picking her and myself apart to compare us and it’s a source of pain. i am trying not to develop negative feelings to her because she did nothing wrong but my jealousy and insecurity is really overwhelming and i find myself avoiding anything to do with her. i wanna be able to see her as a friend instead of “girl my boyfriend had sex with and still is friends with” :( help
TL;DR: I find myself feeling extremely insecure and anxious around my boyfriend’s friend who he used to have sex with and is still friend with.

So, I'm on s05. Will absolutely continue cuz I'm hooked and love the show but something bothers me tremendously. We don't get to see the main events. Like Sookie's 1st pregnancy. We've witnessed her finding out and her entire pregnancy process. We saw her freaking out over how baby isn't coming and next episode BOOM. She has given birth. Another example: Lorelai and Luke's 1st get together. We've seen them kiss in that faithful night and I was really excited on Rory's reaction and again.. BOOM. Next episode she knew and they were gossiping about it. Those little interactions and events what makes the show beautiful and I'm upset with the fact that we don't see it. It's not a rushed show like recent TV Shows. They had 20+ episodes with 40+ mins per episodes.. stuff like those kinda upset me. And there are many more examples like these two.

i really enjoyed the anime at first and really liked the concept of steph sister making out it feels more unique
then first the vice presidents goes to mess with their relationship wich is fine, i mean a rivalry can spice things up
then Yuza her childhood friend shows up and tries to break them up but if backfires and she lays off. but it showed that Mei was prepared to do idk what with some random old man for Yuzu
come on you don't do that if your not in love with somewhone (of course sisterly love but this is different because if it was only sisterly she wouldn't have an issue with that picture leaking)
then Yuzu confesses her feelings and Mei turn her down and now we got some random other girl that wants Mei to i mean what are the odds of so many girls being lesbian. it feels cheesy at this point
what do you think about the plot?
just watched the last episode, they ended up together but the anime was going that way, why introduce new character for them to confess, get accepted and then dumped?
is the manga better, i am curious because i found it alright 6/10 anime, it could have been so much better though...